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Category Archives: Dogology

Who to Obey?

Distant Shores Media/Sweet Publishing [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsI think that man that Peter healed in the last story still wants treats.

I know because he was hanging on to Peter and John.

If I hang on to you will you give me some treats?

I might get treats after I listen to the story?

Okay, I’m listening!

***

While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon’s Colonnade, so Peter began speaking to them.

The priests and the captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees came up to Peter and John while they were speaking to the people.

***

Did they want treats too?

I am listening.

***

They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead. They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day.

***

They got locked in jail too?

I wonder if it was anything like my dog jail.

***

But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.

***

If I could just get them to give me one treat each I’d be set for life.

Or at least for next week.

I’m listening.

***

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them. “By what power did you do this?”

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.’”

***

That’s telling them!

***

Peter continued, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.

***

Those guys better listen to Peter or they’re going to be lost for sure.

And they won’t get any treats either.

***

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

***

I bet all those fish they ate made them smart.

Hey person, you need to give me more fish.

***

But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together.

***

I bet they’re going to ask Peter and John for some fish.

***

“What are we going to do with these men?” they asked. “Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it. But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name.”

***

They’re just upset because Jesus didn’t give them any treats.

***

Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

***

Those Sanhedrin guys ought to be nicer to Peter and John.

I bet Jesus would give them some fish if they were.

***

After further threats they let them go. They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened. For the man who was miraculously healed was over forty years old.

***

Forty years is a long time to be waiting for treats.

By the way, where’s my treats?

You said – if I listened.

I did not hear you say might.

When you put treats in a sentence, that’s the only word I hear.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Begging for Treats

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ASaint_Pierre_et_saint_Jean_gu%C3%A9rissant_le_boiteux_-_Poussin_-_Metropolitan.jpgI’m still confused about all those different languages the people were speaking in the last story you told me.

Which people were speaking to the dogs?

The church grew after that day?

So I’m wondering – how many dogs joined the church?

Yes, I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer – at three in the afternoon.

***

I thought you said a bunch of people joined the church.

Didn’t they have a great big church building by now?

Why were they going to the temple?

What do you mean, the church isn’t a building?

The church is people?

And dogs too. Right?

I am listening.

***

Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts.

***

Did people give him treats?

That’s what I beg for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money.

***

What good is money?

You can’t eat it.

***

Peter looked straight at him, as did John.

***

I hate it when people do that.

***

Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I have I give you.

***

Oh good. Peter must be giving him treats.

***

Peter said, “In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”

***

Oh, I get it.

Peter wants to take him for a walk.

Walks are good.

I’m listening, but I think I’ll follow them on their walk.

***

Taking him by the right hand, Peter helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

***

That man sounds like he’s fun to go on a walk with.

I bet he’d play with me too.

***

When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

***

If that man isn’t begging anymore, will people still give him treats?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 22, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Wind and Fire

Gebhard_Fugel_PfingtspredigtHey person, I’m still trying to figure out what those weird animals are you’ve been hanging out with all week.

I’m not ready for another Bible story.

If I listen will you tell me about the weird animals?

What do you mean, I have to take my chances?

But last week Jesus went up into heaven.

Isn’t the story over?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

When the day of Pentecost came, the disciples were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.

***

We had wind here today.

Do you think it was the same wind that blew on us and them?

I am listening.

***

They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.

***

Somebody better get the fire hose!

What do you mean, listen to the story?

Are you going to get the fire hose, person?

***

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

***

Did the Holy Spirit get the fire hose?

***

Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language.

***

I bet some of them could even speak to dogs.

Yes, I’m listening.

I think I hear someone speaking my language.

***

Utterly amazed, they asked, “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Parthians, Medes, and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs – we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!”

***

I wonder if the dogs from all those places speak the same language?

I am speaking – I mean listening.

***

Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

***

I bet if all those people could speak to their dogs it would all be explained.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on June 15, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Up in the Sky

Jesus ascending to heavenI’ve been out swimming – I mean baptizing – since you told me that story last week.

But I haven’t seen Jesus hanging around.

Isn’t He supposed to be with us?

I was kind of hoping He’d send some fish along while we’re out in all that water.

Okay, I’ll stop swimming long enough to listen.

But only if the story’s short.

***

Jesus said to the disciples, “You will receive Power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

***

Oh, maybe I’m still waiting for the Holy Spirit.

Then I’ll see some fish.

***

After Jesus said this, He was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid Him from their sight.

***

Now that’s freaky.

Maybe Jesus is going to send fish raining down.

I am listening.

***

The disciples were looking intently up into the sky as Jesus was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them.

***

Hey wait a minute.

I wanted fish, not people.

Those two men better give me loves at least.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“Men of Galilee,” the men in white said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky?”

***

Are those men dumb or what?

Oh, maybe they didn’t see Jesus going into the sky.

***

The men continued, “This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen Him go into heaven.”

***

Oh, now I get it.

I think.

Jesus is with us, but He’s in heaven, but He’s coming back.

Oh, umm.

Where’s Jesus now?

This is too much for me to think about.

Where’s the fish?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on June 8, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Sending Out

Bloch-Sermon on the MountI’m not ready to hear another story.

I’m still hanging out on that beach eating up the fish that Jesus cooked.

Just give me a few seconds.

I’ll have it all gulped down.

Oh alright, I’ll listen.

***

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus told them to go. When they saw Him they worshiped him; but some doubted.

***

I bet if Jesus had cooked up another batch of fish they wouldn’t have doubted.

I am listening.

***

Then Jesus came to them and said, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.”

***

Didn’t a lot of people have trouble reading back then?

How would they know Jesus wasn’t making everything up?

They did?

They told stories like you tell me?

And I thought I was special.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

***

If they’re going to preach to the dog nations I hope they’ll explain what those big words mean.

Or maybe they don’t have to.

Us dogs never sin.

We just do mischief.

***

Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

***

If Jesus is with me to the end of the age I’ll for sure make disciples and baptize them.

Baptizing is kind of like swimming, isn’t it?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 1, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Feed My Sheep

Feed My Lambs - James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsLast week there were so many fish in that Bible story.

Can we just do that story again this week?

What do you mean, I can go back and read it.

It’s not the same as hearing it.

Besides, I can’t read.

Oh alright, I’ll listen to the next story.

***

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”

***

I bet he really does love Jesus after Jesus helped him catch all that fish.

Well, is there a better reason to love someone besides food?

***

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, ‘you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

***

I’ll feed Jesus’ lambs if He helps me catch fish.

I am listening.

***

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

***

Jesus has sheep?

***

The third time He said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

***

I think I’d better get my herding type friends to help Peter.

Jesus might have a lot of sheep.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to Peter, “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”

***

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have hands.

Nobody can stretch mine out.

***

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then He said to him, “Follow me!”

***

Whoa!

If you follow Jesus you get fish, but then you might die for Him?

I have to think about this.

***

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

***

I guess Peter was thinking about it too.

***

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

***

I guess that says that.

***

Because of this, the rumor spread among the brothers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

***

I don’t think that guy’s dead yet.

I wonder if he has any fish left.

I think I’ll go look for him.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on May 25, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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So Many Fish

James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsI have been waiting for this story forever.

It’s about one of my favorite things.

Fish!

I bet Jesus was even better at making fish appear after He was resurrected.

Yes, of course I’m listening.

***

Afterward Jesus appeared again to His disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.”So they went out and got into the boat…

***

Hey, wait for me!

I am too listening.

***

But that night they caught nothing.

***

Don’t tell them I ate all the fish already.

I was just hoping they’d catch more.

***

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

He called to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

***

I hope Jesus doesn’t know I was swimming in the lake eating the fish.

***

Jesus said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

***

Here I go! Off to the right side of the boat.

***

When they threw their net over they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

***

Hey guys, I’ll help you with those fish.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish…

***

…and one dog.

***

…for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

***

All that fish and bread too!?

***

Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”

***

Oops!

Jesus will understand that I ate mine – won’t He?

***

Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

***

They are sharing, aren’t they?

I mean, that’s a lot of fish.

***

None of the disciples dared ask Him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to His disciples after He was raised from the dead.

***

That must have been a dream come true for those disciples.

But since we don’t have any fish here there’s something I need to know.

When’s Jesus coming to my house?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on May 18, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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