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Category Archives: Dogology

On the Desert Road

Ethiopian eunuch and PhilipI’ve been praying all week for fish and treats and I still haven’t gotten any.

Well, maybe one or two treats.

But I want constant treats all day – you know, like falling out of the sky or something.

Or maybe dropping from the kitchen ceiling.

That would be even better.

Are there any treats in this story?

Not even fish?

There’s an angel?

Okay, I guess I’ll listen.

***

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road – the desert road – that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.

***

I guess if you’re on a desert road there’s one thing better than treats.

Water.

***

So Philip started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians.

***

I bet that Ethiopian had plenty of treats.

I think I’ll follow him for awhile.

I am too listening.

***

This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

***

I guess the Spirit wanted Philip to get some treats.

I’m right behind you Philip!

***

Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.

“How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

***

If that was written in dog language I could explain it to him.

Woof!

I truly am listening.

***

The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,

and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.

Who can speak of his descendants”

For his life was taken from the earth.”

***

That’s a really sad story.

***

The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.

***

Oh yeah, that one’s a sad story with a happy ending.

***

As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him.

***

How come I don’t get to be baptized.

It’s kind of like swimming and that sounds like fun.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing.

***

Woah! I wonder what that eunuch was thinking about Philip now.

I would have been freaked if he disappeared on me.

***

Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.

***

Wouldn’t that be cool to pop in and out like that?

I could pop in to the treat store, and where there were piles of fish.

And even to a swimming hole when I felt like swimming.

I wonder how many treats I would have to pay to be able to do that.

What about last week’s story?

Oh yeah, you can’t buy the Holy Spirit.

Okay, I’m praying.

I’m praying.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on August 17, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Greater Power

Sébastien Bourdon [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsSo last week I was getting ready to give Saul what for because you said Philip wasn’t going to do it.

And you keep telling me I won’t have to.

I don’t get it.

What?

Philip is doing other things and I need to do other things to?

What do you mean like listening?

***

Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, “This man is the divine power known as the Great Power.”They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic.

***

Magic?

Did you say magic?

Can he conjure up some treats for me?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

***

So does that mean that God’s power is greater than a sorcerer’s power?

I get it now.

I need to ask God for treats.

***

When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them.

***

Peter and John!

They’re fishermen.

I bet they’d give me some fish if I went fishing with them.

I am too listening.

***

When Peter and John arrived they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John placed their hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit.

***

Do you think it would work if I placed my paws on them?

***

When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostle’s hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

Peter answered, “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!”

***

What about treats?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Peter continued, “You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.

***

Okay. Never mind the treats.

I’m praying now.

***

Then Simon answered, “Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me.

***

Hey Peter, will you pray for me too?

And then give me some fish?

***

When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel to many Samaritan villages.

***

Did I learn something in this story?

Yeah. Don’t offer money for what you can get with prayer.

God might send treats and fish for free.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on August 10, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Dragging Them Off

Saint Philip Healing the Cripple in Samaria Jacob Jordaens  (Flemish, Antwerp 1593–1678 Antwerp)Hey person, I’m still fuming from last week’s story.

I’m sad that Stephen was killed and I’m so mad at Saul because he let that happen.

Saul could have stopped it and he didn’t.

If I ever find him, I’m going to grab his clothes in my teeth and play tug-of-war with them.

You know how strong I am from when I play tug-of-war with you – except I don’t do it with your clothes.

I might get in trouble if I did that, huh?

Okay I’ll listen to the story, but if I get mad again I’m covering up my ears.

***

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

***

This is not good.

I think I’ll cover my ears now.

Okay, I’ll listen a little bit longer.

But if it’s bad I’m covering my ears.

***

Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.

***

Okay, that’s it.

Saul and I have a date for a game of tug-of-war and I’m dragging him off.

And then I’m covering my ears.

***

Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went.

***

Hey wait a minute.

Isn’t that what Saul was trying to stop?

***

Philip went down to a city in Samaria and proclaimed the Christ there. When the crowd heard Philip and saw the miraculous signs he did, they all paid close attention to what he said.

***

Do you think Philip could do a miracle to get rid of Saul?

He won’t have to?

Why not?

Oh, I get it.

Someone else is going to take care of Saul.

Maybe even me.

Okay, I won’t cover my ears.

***

With shrieks, evil spirits came out of many,…

***

You make me leave my ears uncovered and then I hear shrieks.

Okay, I’m listening.

***

…and many paralytics and cripples were healed. So there was great joy in that city.

***

Hey, Saul was kind of the cause of the great joy coming to that city.

I bet that makes him mad.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on August 3, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Where’s the Rescue?

Cigoli [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsI’ve been waiting all week to find out what happened to Stephen after he was arrested.

The angels rescued him, right?

What do you mean, I have to listen to find out?

They did rescue him, didn’t they?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Last week Stephen was seized and brought before the Sanhedrin and false witnesses were brought against him.

The high priest asked Stephen if these charges were true and Stephen gave them a speech, sharing Israel’s history and how it pointed to Jesus.

Then Stephen said, “You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him – you who have received the law that was put into effect through angels but have not obeyed it.”

***

I think Stephen might have made them mad.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him.

***

That sounds like something a dog would do.

***

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.

“Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

***

Is Jesus going to send down some fish?

That would prove that Stephen saw him.

I am too listening.

***

At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him.

***

This doesn’t sound good.

Run Stephen, run!

***

Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”

Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

***

What do you mean, Stephen wasn’t taking a nap?

***

And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.

***

If I ever see Saul, I’ll be gnashing my teeth.

Hey, do you think Saul had something to do with those tadpoles that disappeared a couple days ago on my trails?

 
6 Comments

Posted by on July 20, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Do Angels Always Rescue?

Facing the SanhedrinWhat do you mean, the angels don’t always rescue people?

An angel got Peter and John out of jail didn’t he?

I’m still waiting for an angel to get me out of dog jail though.

And give me treats.

So sometimes the angel doesn’t come?

How come?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people.

***

Maybe Stephen could get me out of dog jail.

I am listening.

***

Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called) – Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as provinces of Cilicia and Asia. These men began to argue with Stephen, but they could not stand up against his wisdom or the Spirit by whom he spoke.

***

Those men ought to listen to Stephen.

I’m listening.

***

Then they secretly persuaded some men to say, “We have heard Stephen speak words of blasphemy against Moses and against God.”

***

Those men are up to no good.

What do you mean, kind of like me?

***

So they stirred up the people and the elders and the teachers of the law. They seized Stephen and brought him before the Sanhedrin. They produced false witnesses, who testified, “This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law. For we have heard him say that Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and change the customs Moses handed down to us.”

***

Those people are afraid of Jesus, aren’t they?

I don’t know why.

If they were friends with Jesus he would give them fish.

***

All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intensely at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

***

If Stephen has a face like an angel those angels will come rescue him for sure.

What do you mean, I have to wait until the next story to find out what happens to him?

I think I’m going to hang out in my dog jail.

There’s got to be an angel coming soon to rescue me from there.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on July 13, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Out of Jail

Peter preaching in the temple courtsWhat happened to those treats I was supposed to get after I listened to the story last week?

No, I didn’t get any treats.

Oh those?

Well, that wasn’t enough. I need more.

Now I have to listen to another story?

Oh, alright.

***

After the Sanhedrin let Peter and John go the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon’s Colonnade. No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.

***

I bet if they started handing out treats people would join them.

I am listening.

***

Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number. As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.

***

Was it hot and they needed shade?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by evil spirits, and all of them were healed.

***

Do you think somebody could heal me?

You know what’s wrong with me.

I’m hungry.

I need treats.

***

Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy.  They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail.

***

Is that anything like my dog jail?

***

But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out.

***

Hey person, if you find me outside my dog jail when you get home sometime, that’s because an angel of the Lord let me out.

Of course I’ll listen. This is getting good.

***

“Go, stand in the temple courts,” the angel said, “and tell the people the full message of this new life.”

At daybreak they entered the temple courts as they had been told, and began to teach the people.

When the high priest and his associates arrived, they called together the elders of Israel – and sent to the jail for the apostles.

***

Boy do they have a surprise coming.

I am too listening.

***

But on arriving at the jail, the officers did not find them there. So they went back and reported. We found the jail securely locked, with the guards standing at the doors; but when we opened them, we found no one inside. On hearing this report, the captain of the temple guard and the chief priests were puzzled, wondering what would come of this.

***

I think those guys are going to be in trouble.

Well, I get in trouble sometimes. Shouldn’t they?

***

Then someone came and said, “Look! The men you put in jail are standing in the temple courts teaching the people.”

***

I think that means the good guys always win.

Now where’s my treats?

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 6, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Who to Obey?

Distant Shores Media/Sweet Publishing [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsI think that man that Peter healed in the last story still wants treats.

I know because he was hanging on to Peter and John.

If I hang on to you will you give me some treats?

I might get treats after I listen to the story?

Okay, I’m listening!

***

While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon’s Colonnade, so Peter began speaking to them.

The priests and the captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees came up to Peter and John while they were speaking to the people.

***

Did they want treats too?

I am listening.

***

They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead. They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day.

***

They got locked in jail too?

I wonder if it was anything like my dog jail.

***

But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.

***

If I could just get them to give me one treat each I’d be set for life.

Or at least for next week.

I’m listening.

***

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them. “By what power did you do this?”

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.’”

***

That’s telling them!

***

Peter continued, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.

***

Those guys better listen to Peter or they’re going to be lost for sure.

And they won’t get any treats either.

***

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

***

I bet all those fish they ate made them smart.

Hey person, you need to give me more fish.

***

But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together.

***

I bet they’re going to ask Peter and John for some fish.

***

“What are we going to do with these men?” they asked. “Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it. But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name.”

***

They’re just upset because Jesus didn’t give them any treats.

***

Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

***

Those Sanhedrin guys ought to be nicer to Peter and John.

I bet Jesus would give them some fish if they were.

***

After further threats they let them go. They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened. For the man who was miraculously healed was over forty years old.

***

Forty years is a long time to be waiting for treats.

By the way, where’s my treats?

You said – if I listened.

I did not hear you say might.

When you put treats in a sentence, that’s the only word I hear.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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