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Category Archives: Dogology

Can You See Him?

Jesus and Bartimaeus Mark 10 46-52
Last week Jesus said I had to serve people and I’m not going for it.

Unless it’s cleaning up the spills on the floors or giving you exercise.

So you might as well forget telling me a story this week.

What do you mean, you were going to tell me about another miracle that Jesus did?

I like miracles.

I changed my mind.

I’m listening.

I mean it.

I’m really listening.

You’re going to make me sit and roll over and beg first?

I know how to sit and I’m really good at begging – but I never figured out that roll over stuff.

Please tell me the story.

***

As Jesus approached Jericho a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging.

***

Wow. That blind man can beg too.

Yes, I’m listening. I told you before that I was listening.

***

When the blind man heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

***

Hey, that blind man is kind of in the same shape I am.

I don’t know what Jesus looks like, and neither does he.

***

The blind man called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

***

Do you think Jesus would have mercy on me and give me some treats?

I am too listening.

***

Those who led the way rebuked the blind man and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to Him.

***

Oh no, that man’s in trouble now. He shouldn’t have shouted like that.

***

When the blind man came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

***

Whoa! Wide open question.

I’d ask for some treats.

A whole bunch of treats.

***

“Lord, I want to see,” the blind man replied.

***

Is that all?

He should have asked to be able to see and for bunches of treats.

***

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

***

I’ll totally praise God if He gives me treats.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on February 9, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Taking my Place

Nobody’s going to read my post today.

First, they’re going to be out looking for that pesky groundhog.

You know, the one who’s supposed to see his shadow so we actually get some winter before it turns spring.

What do you mean, we don’t have any groundhogs here?

That’s terrible! You mean we’re not going to get any snow?

Could somebody please send me some snow?

Anyway, after everybody finishes looking for that groundhog – that they’re not going to find if they live near me – they’re going inside to watch the Super Bowl.

And after that they’ll remember all the things they should have been doing and nobody’s going to read my blog.

Wait! What?

You said two of Jesus’ disciples want to be on each side of Him?

Jesus will have trouble passing any fish to me then.

I’d better do something about this.

Yes, I’m listening to the story.

***

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

“What do you want me to do for you?” He asked.

They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

***

I’m sure Jesus would rather have a dog by His side.

I am listening.

***

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

***

There’s just water in that cup, right?

And baptism, isn’t that kind of like going swimming?

I’m all in!

***

“We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

***

See, I knew it!

I’m sure there’s a spot right next to Jesus prepared for a dog.

I’m listening! Do you think I’d know what to say if I wasn’t listening?

***

When the ten heard about this,…

***

The ten and the dog – that’s me.

***

…they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

***

What!? I have to be a servant and a slave?

There must be some other way.

That’s too hard.

***

Jesus continued, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

***

Okay, if Jesus can do it I guess I can too.

Hey person, here’s your slippers.

I did not take them off your feet so I could give them to you!

 
28 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Staggered Shifts

Rembrandt - Parable of the Laborers in the VineyardLast week I was trying to stuff a camel through a needle’s eye – but it didn’t work.

Do you think maybe I could get my treats to go through?

I mean, heaven wouldn’t be heaven without treats.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

But I hope there’s treats in it.

***

Jesus said, “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.”

***

How many treats does a denarius buy?

I am listening.

***

“About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.”

***

Maybe he was going to pay them in treats.

***

“He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’”

***

I bet if someone offered them treats they’d work for them.

How much listening do I have to do? Give me a treat first.

***

“’Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’”

***

That man must have had a lot of treats to pay with.

What do you mean, vineyards have grapes and dogs aren’t supposed to eat them?

No fair!

***

“When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’”

***

I think I’ll wait and hang out with those first workers – after they get paid, that is.

***

“The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When the received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’”

***

I bet those grumbly guys won’t even buy me any treats. I think I’ll go hang out with an eleventh hour guy.

***

“But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am so generous?’”

***

Now I know who I’m going to hang out with. I think I like that landowner.

***

Then Jesus said, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

***

Okay, I’m getting in line last – I mean first.

I mean – I don’t know what I mean. I’m all confused.

Which way are the treats?

 
15 Comments

Posted by on January 26, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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How Big is a Needle’s Eye?

Christ and the Rich Young Ruler - Heinrich Hofmann (1824–1911)I’m still waiting for all those loves from Jesus.

Maybe he’s waiting until you tell me another story about Him.

Maybe He’ll give me loves while you’re telling it.

So I’m listening.

***

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

***

You’ve got to hang out with Jesus for that eternal life stuff. Even I know that.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied.

“There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.”

“Which ones?” the man inquired.

Jesus replied, “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

***

That’s me all over!

What do you mean, I sometimes accuse Scratchy of doing things that I really did?

He did too do all those things!

I always honor you and do what you say. After all, I’m the perfect dog.

I ran off? Oh, um – I came back to you didn’t I?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“All these things I have kept,” the young man said.

***

See, that man and I are two of a kind.

***

The man asked, “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

***

Wait, does that mean I have to sell all my treats?

Oh, I can do that. Jesus gives out fish.

***

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

***

Young man, come back, come back. Jesus will give you all the fish you want!

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

***

It’s a good thing I’m just a poor dog – and a lot smaller than a camel.

Wait, how big is the eye of a needle?

***

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

***

Whew! I was beginning to worry.

I just found out how big one of those needle’s eyes is.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on January 19, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Children and Loves

Jesus and childrenI’ve been eating humble pie since last week’s Bible story so I can get extra treats. And I still don’t have any.

And humble pie doesn’t taste very good.

Maybe if I can figure out a way to get to the top of the refrigerator I can pull all the treats down – and eat them.

What!? You’re going to tell me a story where Jesus rebuked his disciples?

And he’s going to rebuke me too if I do what I just said?

Do I get extra treats if He rebukes me?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him place His hands on them and pray for them, but the disciples rebuked the people who brought them.

***

Did the disciples give all those people treats?

What do you mean, rebuke doesn’t mean giving out treats? What else could it mean?

***

When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

***

Is it alright if I hinder those little children so I can get some loves?

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

***

I can act as childish as you want.

What do you mean, sit and listen?

***

Jesus took the children in His arms, put His hands on them, and blessed them.

***

Alright! Jesus gives out loves.

I’m standing in line.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Confident or Humble?

Pharisee and the tax collectorI’m still praying for those treats and you’re going to tell me another of Jesus’ Pair a Bulls?

I’m not finished with the last one yet. There sure are a lot of bulls around here.

If I listen do I get some treats?

What!? I’ve got to listen before I can have some treats?

Oh, all right.

***

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:

***

I’m confident.

Is Jesus telling this to me?

What do you mean, if I listen I’ll find out?

***

Jesus said, “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’”

***

Wow, that guy thinks he’s pretty good.

I wonder if he’s nice to dogs.

I’m listening.

***

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”

***

I bet that guy feels bad because nobody likes tax collectors.

I’ll give him loves – if he gives me treats.

***

Then Jesus said, “I tell you that this man – the tax collector – , rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

***

I’m the humblest dog around.

Now do I get my treats?

 
14 Comments

Posted by on January 5, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Keep Bugging

English: Illustration of the Parable of the Un...

English: Illustration of the Parable of the Unjust Judge from the New Testament Gospel of Luke (Luke 18:1-9) by John Everett Millais for The Parables of Our Lord (1863) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, I think that faith thing does work.

Remember last week when I said I had faith that I would get treats?

Well, I did get treats for Christmas so my faith did work.

I’m supposed to what?

I’m supposed to thank Jesus for the treats my faith brought?

Maybe you should just tell me another story.

***

Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

***

Jesus is telling another one of those Pair a Bulls?

They must have had a lot of bulls around in His day.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’”

***

Did that widow have to keep getting appointments to see the judge? I bet she had a really big phone bill from making all those phone calls for appointments.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

“For some time the judge refused to grant the widow justice. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

***

See person. That’s why I keep bugging you until I get what I want. You know that I won’t quit until I get it and you get tired of my bugging.

What, there’s more?

***

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”

***

I have faith.

My faith brought me treats.

Thank you Jesus.

I have faith and treats.

Well, I used to have treats.

I think I need more faith treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Thanks for the Healing

James Tissot - Healing of the Ten Lepers

Jesus sure has a lot of adventures. I think I should travel with him for awhile.

I’d have all kinds of things to put on my blog.

Maybe I could pretend that His adventures were really mine.

What do you mean that wouldn’t work?

I bet I could do miracles if I tried.

I licked you ankle once and it got better.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

On His way to Jerusalem Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.

***

Is that a long ways away? Do I have to go all that way to have adventures with Jesus?

Maybe He could come over here.

I am listening.

***

As Jesus was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met Him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

***

Good thing they stayed at a distance. I bet Jesus didn’t want to catch leprosy from them.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus saw them He said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.”And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him – and he was a Samaritan.

***

Was that like the good Samaritan?

What? The Jews didn’t like the Samaritans and Jesus was a Jew?

That Samaritan must have been pretty brave to come back.

***

Jesus asked the Samaritan, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then He said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

***

I wonder if faith works for other things besides making people well.

I have faith that I will get treats.

If I close my eyes and say, “My faith has brought me treats,” will it work?

Hey! I don’t see any treats here.

My faith has brought me treats. My faith has brought me treats.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on December 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Raising the Dead

English: Raising of Lazarus by Jesus

English: Raising of Lazarus by Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wait a minute. I’m confused.

Last week you told me a story about Lazarus. You said he died and went to heaven.

Now you’re trying to tell me that Lazarus is sick?

I didn’t think people got sick in heaven.

Oh. This is a different Lazarus?

I get it. I think.?

***

Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha were good friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, near Jerusalem.

Lazarus was sick, and his sisters sent word to Jesus to tell him.

***

I thought Jesus already knew everything.

I am listening.

***

When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ illness He said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where He was two more days.

***

I bet there was good food where He was.

***

After two days Jesus said to His disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”

***

I guess they ate all the food.

***

Jesus’ disciples were concerned because the Jews tried to stone Him there, so Jesus told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”

The disciples figured Lazarus would be alright if he slept, so Jesus had to tell them plainly. “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

***

Do you think Lazarus ran out of food and starved? Jesus shouldn’t go where there’s no food.

I will listen. I’m just sayin’.

***

Thomas said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

When Jesus arrived Lazarus had been dead four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming she went out to meet Him.

“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

***

I bet Jesus brought some food with him. I’d rise from the dead if there was food.

***

Martha answered Jesus, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she told Him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”

***

Hey, wasn’t Martha the one who made all that food when Jesus was there before?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Martha left to get her sister Mary. When Mary left the house many Jews who were there to comfort her followed her, thinking she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Jesus wept.

***

I’m starting to get teary eyed too now. Do dogs cry?

***

Then the Jews said about Jesus, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them said, “Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” He said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

***

Martha doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I bet they’ll find a sweet aroma coming out of there.

I am too listening.

***

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that You sent me.”

When He had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

***

I sure hope they gave him some food.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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No Treats for Anybody

"Rich man and poor Lazarus" (1865). ...

“Rich man and poor Lazarus” (1865). Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean there are dogs in this Bible story?

Did that man in the last story give them treats?

Oh. He didn’t know them? I thought everyone in the Bible knew each other.

Okay, I’ll listen. I want to hear about the dogs.

***

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day.”

***

Did the rich man hand out treats?

I am listening.

***

“At the rich man’s gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.”

***

That rich man should hand out treats to Lazarus and the dogs.

***

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.”

***

I bet those angels handed out treats.

I’m listening. I just want to know where the treats are. Those dogs are getting hungry.

***

“The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’”

***

They don’t have treats in hell, do they?

***

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’”

***

Wait! Stop! Don’t give those dogs any treats. I don’t want them to go where that rich man is.

What? I’m not in the story. I don’t have to give up my treats.

***

“The rich man answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“’No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

***

I guess Lazarus won’t be bringing those brothers any treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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