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Category Archives: humor

Blooming Yucca

Bongo looking at a yucca plantFor some reason there seem to be a lot of yucca plants blooming on my trails this year.

Usually I’m lucky to see one of two of them.

But this year they’re blooming all over the place.

.

.

.

.

.

Look, here’s another one.

Yucca plant beginning to bloom

This one’s just starting out.

But here’s one that’s halfway there.

Yucca plant in partial bloom

And of course my person has to stop and take pictures of all of them.

I think I need to hide her camera.

Here she goes. Stopping again.

Yucca plant in bloom

Yucca plant in bloom

But sometimes there are advantages to having my person stop at all the blooming yucca plants.

Bongo sniffing below a yucca plant

Sometimes they come with good messages.

But then again, maybe it’s not so good having my person always taking pictures.

Bongo near a yucca plant in bloom

Does my butt look big in this picture?

 
6 Comments

Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Earth Day at the Computer

Bongo's faceWhat an excuse!

My person has been sitting at the computer all day.

I mean it. All day!

And she says she doesn’t have time to type up my blog post.

So you know what she’s doing?

She says it’s Earth Day today so she’s making me post pictures of flowers on my trails.

Those flowers that she’s always making me sit around for while she takes pictures of them.

I’m surprised we have any flowers since we’ve hardly had any rain in months.

Maybe I should stop watering them.

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Happy Earth Day everybody!

 
13 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Peeking into the Tomb

Alexander_Ivanov_-_Christ's_Appearance_to_Mary_Magdalene_after_the_Resurrection_-_Google_Art_ProjectPerson, I’ve been waiting all week because you told me there’s more to the story.

But I don’t know how there can be.

I mean, they nailed Jesus to a cross and He died.

Isn’t that the end of the story?

I’m listening, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to say.

***

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.

***

I knew it!

There’s no more story about Jesus. You’re telling me a story about Mary Magdalene.

I have to have patience???

***

So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

***

Why would anyone want to take Jesus if He already died?

I am listening.

***

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.

***

I bet I could have run faster.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside.

***

It’s about time.

***

He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

***

Jesus had to what!?

I’m listening for sure now.

***

Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying.

***

Maybe if I gave her some loves she’d feel better.

***

As Mary wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

***

I knew it!

This story isn’t about Jesus. It’s about angels showing up instead.

I’ll listen! I’ll listen!

***

The angels asked Mary, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this she turned and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

***

I would have known it was Jesus.

***

“Woman,” Jesus said, “why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking He was the gardener she said, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means teacher).

***

Maybe Mary Magdalene was blind. She only recognized Jesus when she heard Him say her name.

***

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that He had said these things to her.

***

I don’t care what Jesus said. I wouldn’t have let go of him.

I would have attached Him to my leash or something so He couldn’t go missing again.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on April 20, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Stump with a Heart

Tall stump with a red rock shaped like a heart on itI pass this stump almost every day when I go walking on my trails, but there’s something different about it today.

This stump has a heart.

It never had a heart before.

Not until today.

I wonder if this stump went to the Land of Oz and got its heart.

You know, like the tin man who wanted a heart.

So he went and talked to the wizard.

That tin man had to do a lot of hard things to find out that he really did have a heart.

I wonder what this stump had to do.

Maybe build a few rock piles – or knock some down.

Or chase away the aliens when they try to invade my trails.

Or it might have stood guard against those nasty javelina when they tried to eat the prickly pear cactus.

Whatever that stump did, it worked.

And I think I’ll hang around it for awhile because…

Bongo next to the stump with the heart

This stump has heart.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Rock Pile Wars

Bongo looking at new rock piles on the trailThey’re at it again.

More rock piles on my trails.

Right near the part of my trail that everybody passes by.

They should leave the rock piles on the part of my trails where hardly anybody goes.

Those rock piles keep multiplying.

But here there are rock pile wars.

Somebody puts them up – somebody takes them down.

Rock piles don’t last long here.

.

But it looks like someone worked hard to make sure these rock piles stay.

That one pile has a double column of rocks.

Bongo checking out the rock piles

I’m getting a bad feeling about these rocks.

I rarely growl, but these rocks deserve one.

Just a low, quiet growl – enough to put those rocks in their place.

Bongo slinking away from the rock piles

And now I’m outta here.

Carefully, so those rock piles don’t get suspicious.

***

Guess what!

I went by that spot again the next day and the rock piles were gone.

Up again – down again.

Rock pile wars.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on April 18, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Gone with the Century

Bongo and a fallen down century plantHmmm. What’s this?

It looks like it’s from another century.

Last year’s century.

I know last year was only a year, but it had centuries in it too.

How do I know?

Because here’s one of them right here.

.

.

Bongo looking at the fallen down century plant

This century plant grew up right next to my trail last year.

And now it’s gone. Splat!

Bongo walking away from the century plant

I guess that’s the end of the centuries on my trails.

I’ll have to take it year by year now.

One of these big things only shows up once in a hundred years.

I don’t think I’ll be around for the next one.

***

Hey, what’s this smell?

Bongo sniffing near a new century plant

It smells like that century plant.

Bongo walking away from the century plant

Naw. There’s not a chance in a hundred that another century plant would show up on my trails.

Probably a good thing.

My person takes too many pictures of them.

Tall century plant stalk

 
16 Comments

Posted by on April 17, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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One Little Escape

Bongo in dog jail looking sadA few nights ago I was hanging out in the backyard and I didn’t want to come back inside.

I’ve never escaped at night before, so I convinced my person to let me stay in the yard.

What I didn’t tell her was that the meter person hadn’t latched one of the gates – the one you can’t see unless you walk over to it because it’s hiding behind the shed.

So I was hanging out in the yard and I decided to expand my boundaries, and I left.

It wasn’t really escaping – the gate was open.

And I didn’t go very far. My person got in her car and found me a little ways down the street.

She could have walked to where I was.

But then my person did something really bad.

A couple nights ago she locked me in dog jail and escaped from the house without me.

I could hear her out there.

And here’s what’s really bad.

She was hanging out with my neighbor dog Toby and another neighbor dog that I haven’t met yet.

And a whole bunch of my neighbors.

I don’t know why she didn’t take me.

Do I have to pay forever for one little jaunt down the street?

She could have at least brought some treats back for me.

But all she brought were a bunch of pictures of the moon.

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I don’t get it.

What’s such a big deal about the moon?

 
35 Comments

Posted by on April 16, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Curtailed Jumping

Gizmo asleep on the bedDoesn’t Gizmo look sweet sleeping on the bed?

Well, don’t you believe it for a minute.

It’s all a ruse – a clever disguise.

There’s nothing sweet about Gizmo.

Here’s what’s been going on.

You see, it’s my job to get my person up in the morning.

When it’s time for her to get out of bed I start jumping – right next to the bed.

And sometimes my front paws land right on the bed.

And it works.

Because I keep jumping till my person gets up.

I’m persistent that way.

She can’t ignore me like she ignores her alarm clock.

But a couple days ago Gizmo was sleeping on the end of my person’s bed when I started jumping.

And he took a big swipe at me – claws and all.

So when Gizmo’s on the bed I don’t dare jump anymore.

.

I’m taking my life in my paws if I do.

Gizmo awake on the bed

Look at him. He’s awake now.

He doesn’t look so sweet and innocent anymore, does he?

He’s probably thinking about swiping at me with those claws of his.

Bongo on the floor - Gizmo on the bed

Hey person, I think you’d better ban Gizmo from your bed.

Otherwise, I’m taking no blame if you don’t get up on time.

***

Note from Bongo’s person: Gizmo is staying on the bed.

 
33 Comments

Posted by on April 15, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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It’s Not Over Yet

Jesus Crucifixion

Photo taken by Kabir Bakie at the Cincinnati Zoo

Hey person, I’ve been worried all week about what’s going to happen to Jesus.

You ended the story too soon.

They arrested Him, but I don’t know what happened after that.

He didn’t do anything wrong.

They let Him go, didn’t they?

What!?

They didn’t!

Those garbaldy goo good for nothing people that arrested Him. I’ll give them what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was put on trial and even though Pilate, the Roman governor, didn’t find anything he’d done wrong the Jews wanted Him crucified.

So Pilate finally agreed and sent Jesus to be crucified.

***

I’m giving Pilate what for too!

I am listening.

***

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with Jesus to be executed.

When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified Him, along with the criminals – one on His right, the other on His left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

***

I don’t get it. They just nailed Jesus to a cross and He wants to forgive them?

I’m gonna give them all what for.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

And they divided up Jesus’ clothes by casting lots.

***

It’s too bad I don’t wear clothes, or I’d give Him some of mine.

***

The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at Him. They said, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”

***

Those rulers better watch it. If Jesus doesn’t give them what for I sure will.

***

The soldiers also came up and mocked Him. They offered him wine vinegar and said “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

There was a written notice above Him, which read: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

***

How come those people don’t believe what they’re reading?

They should be worshipping The King of the Jews.

***

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at Him: “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.

***

I don’t get it. The only man who is making any sense is hanging on a cross along with Jesus.

***

Then the man said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

***

I bet that upset all the people who were giving Jesus a bad time.

I’m listening.

***

It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining.

***

That was what time?

The middle of the day?

***

And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When He had said this He breathed His last.

***

What!?

That’s not how the story’s supposed to end.

It doesn’t end there?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.”

***

That’s it!?

That’s the end?

Oh. It’s not over yet?

What do you mean, I have to wait till next Sunday to hear the rest of the story?

This is gonna be a long week.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on April 13, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Packing up the Cats

Bongo looking at a cat cageFinally!

I’ve been putting up with three cats for far too long.

Today is my big day!

Those two extra cats are getting picked up and taken back home today.

Now all I have to put up with is Scratchy.

I guess I can tolerate one cat after putting up with three cats for so long.

There they go. Locked up in the cat cage.

.

Cat cage held in the air with Bongo looking up

The house is mine again. Mine!

I can put Scratchy in his place now that he’s the only one.

You know how hard it is to put three cats in their place?

You get one taken care of and the other two run wild.

Then you get those two and the first one is at it again.

It’s gonna be so nice around here.

***

Hey, wait a minute.

What?

Gizmo lying on his back

Gizmo!

What are you still doing here?

You missed the bus. You’d better go run and catch it.

What!?

You’re staying?

Oh no!

I’m still outnumbered.

Hey person, you’ve got to get me a puppy.

 
27 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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