Here’s what happened.

Every morning when I get my person out of bed she makes me go outside before she’ll feed me. That’s bad enough right there. I think she should feed me first.

Sometimes when I go outside I get distracted by things, smells and stuff – like maybe Bubba, the cat from across the street snuck into my yard overnight – and I don’t head back into the house when my person thinks I should.

You know what she does? She goes back in the house without me and shuts the door in my face.

Okay person, I’ll change that if you insist. The door isn’t really shut in my face because I’m still out in the yard sniffing.

But then I hear it. The sound of my food bouncing into my bowl. And I come running, drooling as I go. Let me in, person!

You know what she does then? She takes her time and won’t let me in right away. She feeds Scratchy, she gets a drink of water, and finally she moseys on over to the door. In the meantime I’ve lost about a gallon of water – it’s dripping out of my mouth while I wait for food.

When she does let me in I race to my dish and gobble my breakfast. Okay, I’m feeling better now.

But if it happens again, I’m turning my person in.

What? You don’t think I should put that relationship thing on Facebook? Of course I should. I can tell she really likes me.

What do you mean, she might just want to be friends? Of course she wants to be friends. She used to be kind of afraid to come near me, but now she plays with me when we see each other. And she’s really cute, person. Oh yeah, did I remember to tell you how cute she is?

Well yeah, I know you know what she looks like. I just want to make sure you know she’s cute. So what about that Facebook page?

Seriously!? I have a Facebook page now? Oh, I hope Lucy “Likes” me on Facebook. Oh no! Person what if she doesn’t “Like” me? That could be really bad. Maybe you’d better get rid of that Facebook page.

Did you have a good time?

You didn’t like it? Why not? Didn’t they give you treats?

No treats!? I got lots of treats at the vet. How come you didn’t get any treats?

Well, did they give you loves?

No loves either? I don’t get it. When I went to the vet I got lots of treats and loves.

You did what!!!? You attacked my our person?

They wrapped you in a towel and poked things into you?

Scratchy, they poked some things in me too, but the treats and loves made up for it.

Then they what? They picked you up with leather gloves and held you down?

You kicked and hissed and scratched and tried to give them what for?

Scratchy, I thought I was pretty tough – but I guess you’re the toughest.

I think I’m going to let you keep being the toughest – because, you know why. When you chase all those people away with your claws and your teeth and your toughness, they’re going to come to me with all the loves.

Just keep on being tough, Scratchy.

This is wrong. This is totally wrong. Someone knocked down the trail marker. Now people are going to get lost on the trails. They’ll go the wrong way.

I’d better investigate. Maybe I can find some clues.

No unusual smells here.

This one here is still standing, but there’s something strange about it.

Look. A clue. What is it person?

A tent bag? You mean the guilty culprit camped out here?

This one’s still standing, but it’s starting to lean over.

Oh look! Another one down.

I think they went that a way.

Hey person. I think I found something. I’ve never seen tracks like this on my trails before.

I think this is it. Now I’ve just got to figure out what kind of creature has feet like this.

I know one thing for sure. If I find a creature that went the wrong way, has strange looking feet, and is hanging out inside a dome tent, he’s the guilty one for sure.

Not me person. I didn’t do it.

“Then who?”

Person, I don’t know. Are you sure my younger person didn’t eat the rest of those cookies? You know how much he likes them.

He wouldn’t what?

__

Oh.

He might leave the lid on the carpet in the other room. You never know. Maybe he got all excited when he was eating those cookies and forgot what he was doing.

Well, if he didn’t do it, I don’t know who did.

Oh look. There he is. Right by the evidence. Scratchy did it. He’s right there checking it out. Proof that he did it.

What? Of course he did. That Scratchy is always up to no good.

Okay, let me check. I bet I can prove it to you.

Hmmm. I think I left a few crumbs in here.

Oops!

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

Welcome to Monday Mischief – The pet blog hop that wraps up the weekend! This Blog Hop is brought to you by Alfie’s Blog, Snoopy’s Dog Blog, My Brown Newfies and Luna, A Dog’s Life and you can read more about how to link up here.

Hey person, you know that David guy? The one who killed that giant named Goliath?

Yeah, him. Whatever happened to his sheep – and his sheep dogs?

What? He didn’t? Other people had to take care of them? Why? Won’t David miss them?

My person says that after David killed Goliath he became a big hero and all the Israelites loved him. King Saul kept David in his service and didn’t let him go home any more to his family and his sheep – and sheep dogs.

But then something happened. After that battle with the Philistines all the people praised King Saul, but they praised David even more.

And King Saul got really jealous.

King Saul got so jealous that while David was playing the harp for him he threw a spear at him and tried to pin David to the wall.

He what!? He threw that spear at David twice? I hope David was okay.

My person says that David got away from King Saul and then King Saul was afraid of David because he knew the Lord was with him. So you know what that mean old King Saul did? He sent David out to battle, hoping that David would get killed.

David didn’t get killed, did he person? What would his sheep do without him?

He was? Oh that’s good. My person says David was very successful in battle because the Lord was with him, and he became even more of a hero in Israel.

So then what happened?

No way. You know what happened next? That mean old King Saul threw another spear at David while he was playing the harp. David had had enough by this point and he knew King Saul meant business, so that night he escaped.

What happened next person? Oh, come on. Tell me more.

I don’t believe it. My person won’t tell me any more. She says King Saul chased after David and David had lots and lots of adventures.

What kind of adventures person? Did David’s sheep have adventures too?

Really? David’s sheep didn’t have any adventures, but some other sheep did?

Come on person, I think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes.

Related articles

• A Sling and a Stone (bongodogblog.com)
• Harp Service (bongodogblog.com)

Scratchy is even allowed on the countertops. Well, at least the one where his food is. I don’t know why my people don’t feed him on the floor. They feed me there.

I’m totally relegated to the floors. The hard, cold floors.

Person, you don’t have to ruin my story. I know there’s carpet on the floors and I have a bed I can lay on. I’m trying to make everyone feel sorry for me.

Anyway, I’d like my turn on the couch too but I have to wait until my people leave the house to get my chance. When I hear a car in the driveway I quickly get up and head to the door to greet my people. That way they aren’t suspicious at all.

Today I blew it though. I don’t know what happened. I must have really been sleeping soundly. I didn’t hear a thing – and then, there she was. My person had come in the door.

Oops! — I’m in trouble now!

Click this pic for more great Pet Blogs

I think I didn’t like the vet then because they’d taken some things away from me. When my people first brought me home I had some missing parts.

But now I love the vet.

First, I get to go find lots of new smells. I always check to see if I recognize any smells from my trails. Sometimes I find the same ones.

Then, I get treats. I used to only get treats when I was ready to go back home, but today I got lots of treats.

I didn’t really like all those things they stuck in me, but after that I got more treats – and loves, so it was okay.

There’s a new vet working with my other vet and I got to meet her. I really like her. She gave me lots of loves – and that’s all she did – she kept giving me loves. I like her a lot.

What, person? She was examining me?

No, you’re wrong. She liked me so much that all she wanted to do was give me loves.

Well, a couple days later my person and I were walking in that area again, and guess what? We found the branches. And there were logs, too. I thought for sure those guys would take all the branches away with them, but they didn’t. They saved them for me.

I could tell they were the same branches because I could smell the fresh cut wood fragrance. Even my person could smell it, and she doesn’t seem to be able to smell many things.

I checked for other dog’s marks and I didn’t smell any.

Yippee! Here goes! Unmarked territory all for me.

Please avert your eyes from the following picture. It’s kind of personal.

Person, you’ve got to take me somewhere. Anywhere – as long as I can find cute girls there who will give me loves. What would people think if I didn’t get any loves from cute girls for Valentine’s Day? It would spoil my reputation.

Well, guess what! My person took me out and we headed for my trails. As we were about to enter the parking lot a blue Subaru pulled in ahead of us. We walked past the car just as people got out of it – and I was so surprised! One of the people from the car is my friend – a friend that I’ve never seen on my trails before. And not just any friend mind you – this person is the cute girl kind of friend.

But it gets even better because my friend had a friend with her and she is also in the cute girl category. My trails really are heaven. Not only do I get to go on walks and smell all the smells, but I got loves from two cute girls at the same time.

Perfect for Valentine’s Day! What more could anydog ask?