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So Many Fish

James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsI have been waiting for this story forever.

It’s about one of my favorite things.

Fish!

I bet Jesus was even better at making fish appear after He was resurrected.

Yes, of course I’m listening.

***

Afterward Jesus appeared again to His disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.”So they went out and got into the boat…

***

Hey, wait for me!

I am too listening.

***

But that night they caught nothing.

***

Don’t tell them I ate all the fish already.

I was just hoping they’d catch more.

***

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

He called to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

***

I hope Jesus doesn’t know I was swimming in the lake eating the fish.

***

Jesus said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

***

Here I go! Off to the right side of the boat.

***

When they threw their net over they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

***

Hey guys, I’ll help you with those fish.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish…

***

…and one dog.

***

…for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

***

All that fish and bread too!?

***

Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”

***

Oops!

Jesus will understand that I ate mine – won’t He?

***

Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

***

They are sharing, aren’t they?

I mean, that’s a lot of fish.

***

None of the disciples dared ask Him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to His disciples after He was raised from the dead.

***

That must have been a dream come true for those disciples.

But since we don’t have any fish here there’s something I need to know.

When’s Jesus coming to my house?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on May 18, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Storing up Stuff

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt - photo credit Wikipedia

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Hey person, I prayed and I’m still waiting for the fish.

God is being slow in answering my prayer. I figured fish would be falling from the sky by now.

What? You’re going to tell me one of Jesus’ parables about collecting too much stuff?

Fish isn’t stuff. I wouldn’t collect it, I’d eat it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A crowd had gathered around Jesus and someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

***

You tell him, Jesus!

Not me. I’m not trying to collect all kinds of possessions. I would eat the fish as soon as I got it.

I am listening.

***

And Jesus told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

***

I could help him eat his crops.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then the man said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

***

I think I’m going to go be that man’s dog.

***

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

***

Oops! Hey person, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m the most faithfullest dog there is. I would never leave you.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

***

That doesn’t count toys and dog treats, does it?

 
16 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Fish and a Coin

Peter finds a coin in a fish's mouth

Image from ChristArt

What? Really?

After all this time you’re finally going to tell me another Bible story with fish in it?

Hallelujah!

Did I say that word? What does it mean?

It means Praise the Lord?

Well, hallelujah then. You’d think with all those disciples who are fishermen, that every story would have fish in it.

Okay, I’ll listen. I hope there’s a lot of fish in this story. Some for me and enough for me to share too.

***

Jesus and His disciples went back to Capernaum and the collectors of the two-drachma tax came to Peter and asked, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the temple tax?”

***

Okay, I’m confused. What’s a drachma? Is it some kind of fish?

A coin? Worth about a day’s wages?

What does that have to do with fish?

Could you buy fish with it?

I am listening.

***

Peter assured the tax collectors that Jesus does pay the tax.

When Peter came into the house Jesus spoke first. He asked Peter if he thought the kings of the earth collected taxes from their own sons, or from others.

***

If those kings collected taxes from their own sons, would that be like you making me pay taxes to you?

You’d better not do that. I’m not giving up any of my treats.

***

Peter answered, “From others.”

And Jesus said, “Then the sons are exempt.”

***

Whew! That means I don’t have to give up my treats.

Wait. That means that Jesus doesn’t have to pay tax either since He’s the Son of God and the temple is God’s house.

So Jesus can just walk away from that tax collector, and Peter with him since he’s in God’s family too.

***

Jesus said to Peter, “But so that we may not offend them, go to the lake and throw out your line.”

***

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told Peter to take the first fish he catches and open its mouth. He’ll find a four-drachma coin inside. Jesus said to take that coin and use it to pay both their taxes.

***

A fish and a coin!

I’m in dog heaven. Fish for dinner and money to buy treats for dessert.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Back Down the Mountain

Jesus heals boy with evil spiritI bet those disciples had a hard time coming down the mountain after Jesus turned all white in that story you told me last week.

But I guess they had to come down. There weren’t any fish on top of that mountain.

So did they get some fish when they got down from the mountain?

***

When they came down to the other disciples they saw a large crowd around them and teachers of the law arguing with them. When the people saw Jesus they ran to greet him and he asked them what they were arguing about.

***

I bet they were arguing about who had the most fish.

I am listening.

***

A man in the crowd answered Jesus. “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid.

***

I bet he’s just upset because he didn’t get any fish for dinner.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The man said he’d asked Jesus’ disciples to drive out the spirit from his son, but they couldn’t.

***

That man’s son must really be mad.

***

“O unbelieving generation,” Jesus said, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

They brought the boy to Jesus and when the evil spirit saw Jesus it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion.

***

That spirit must be really mad. I bet it wouldn’t even respond if you slapped it in the face with a big fish.

***

The boy’s father said to Jesus, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Jesus rebuked the spirit and it came out of the boy.

***

Woo woo! Give that boy some fish! And Jesus too.

Why don’t you think I’m listening?

***

The disciples came to Jesus and asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

***

I think I need to work on my faith.

When my faith is strong enough I’ll be able to tell a school of fish to move from the ocean to my dinner plate.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on July 21, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Two Fish and Five Loaves

English: Jesus feeding a crowd with 5 loaves o...

English: Jesus feeding a crowd with 5 loaves of bread and two fish (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alright! Coming up is one of my favorite stories about Jesus.

It’s a food story, and for those of you who know me, you know that food is one of my favorite things.

Okay person, I’m listening. Bring on the food!

***

People were coming and going so much that Jesus and his disciples didn’t have a chance to eat…

***

Wait a minute! I thought this was a story about food. Not a story about no food.

I’ll listen. But it’s hard to have patience when you’re hungry.

***

So Jesus took the disciples and they went away to a quiet place by boat.

But many people saw them leaving and they ran ahead, so that when Jesus landed on shore he saw a large crowd.

Jesus had compassion on the people and He healed their sick and began teaching them many things.

***

So where’s the food?

I’m running out of patience.

***

Late in the day the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”

***

You mean there wasn’t any food there?

I am listening.

***

But Jesus said to the disciples, “You give them something to eat.”

“What?” the disciples said. “It would take eight months wages to feed all these people. How are we going to do that?”

Jesus said, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”

They found a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish.

***

Fish? Did you say fish? There’s not enough fish for all those people. You’d better give the fish to me.

I am settled down. Do I get the fish now?

***

Jesus directed the people to sit down in groups on the grass.

Jesus took the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

He gave them to the disciples to give to the people.

***

Here I am. I’m sitting in a group of my own. Bring on the fish!

***

When the food was distributed to the people and they had eaten everything they wanted, the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.

The number of people who had eaten was about five thousand men, plus the women and children.

***

What are they going to do with those leftovers? They shouldn’t let them go to waste.

Hey Jesus! Over here! I’ll take care of those leftovers for you.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Drowning Pigs

Drawing of pink pigs jumping off a cliffAfter Jesus calmed that storm and they let some fish jump into their boat and had a fish feast…

What do you mean, I’m making that part up?

I know it doesn’t say anything in that part of the Bible about anybody eating fish, but you know they must have.

You can believe what you want. I prefer to believe that they ate fish – and invited me to the feast.

***

After Jesus calmed the storm they sailed to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, to the region of the Gerasenes.

And this dude came out to meet Jesus.

***

Didn’t lots of people come out to meet Jesus?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

This dude had an evil spirit and lived in the tombs. He had often been chained hand and foot but he broke the chains and no one was strong enough to subdue him. He would cry out night and day and cut himself with stones.

***

Wow, that’s some scary dude. If I was Jesus I’d run back to the boat and head back home.

He stayed there? Did he have his tail between his legs?

I am listening.

***

The man ran to Jesus and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don’t torture me!” For Jesus had commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man.

Jesus asked the man his name and the man said Legion, because many demons had gone into him.

***

That would be pretty squishy for all those demons to fit inside one man. I wonder how they got along with each other.

I’m listening, but I’ve got to make comments sometimes.

***

The demons begged Jesus not to send them into the Abyss. There was a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside and the demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs. Jesus let them, and as soon as they went into the pigs, they rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

***

What a waste of a lot of good bacon.

I can swim. Could I go retrieve some pigs?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

The people tending the pigs ran off to report what had happened and people came to see what was going on. When the people came to meet Jesus they found the man who had been possessed by demons sitting there, dressed and in his right mind.

The people asked Jesus to leave because they were afraid.

The man Jesus had cured begged to go with him, but Jesus told him to return home and tell how much God had done for him. So that’s what the man did, and all the people were amazed.

***

You’re not done with the story are you?

What about those pigs?

 
13 Comments

Posted by on May 26, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Eat What You Want Day

Bongo in front of the fridgeToday is Eat What You Want Day. This is absolutely my favorite day of the year.

Let’s see. What do I want to eat today?

Maybe some of that fish I’ve been wanting lately.

Or how about some ice cream?

Wait a minute. I know! I’m going to eat a nice, big, juicy steak. And then some meaty bones that I can chew on for the rest of the day.

And some treats tossed in here and there all day.

My mouth is drooling watering just thinking about all that good food.

Here comes my person. I bet she’s coming to open the refrigerator for me right now and give me something delicious.

Wait! What? What do you mean you don’t have any of those good things to eat in the house?

But it’s Eat What You Want Day. How can I eat what I want if it’s not here to eat?

Person, you’ve got a job to do. You’ve got to go to the store right now and get me everything I want to eat.

You’re not? You’re not going to the store?

You’re giving me what to eat? Dog food?

That’s all I get is dog food?

Bongo with his head inside a dog food bag

I guess that wasn’t so bad.

Click here for more great pet blogs.

Click here for more great pet blogs.

 
33 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Say the Word

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centur...

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centurion by Paolo Veronese Source: http://www.artst.org/mannerism/veronese/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Jesus having another fish dinner yet?

What do you mean, I’m out of luck? I know Jesus can have fish dinner whenever He wants.

Oh, He healed somebody else? But it was different than before?

I guess I’ll listen. I like miracles.

***

There was a Roman centurion in Capernaum who was highly thought of by the Jews. He loved the nation of Israel and had built a synagogue for them.

***

Did he give treats to the dogs?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

This centurion had a servant whom he valued highly who was sick and about to die. When he heard of Jesus he sent some of the elders of the Jews to Him, asking Him if he would heal the servant. The Jews told Jesus that the man deserved to have Him do this.

Jesus went with the men, but when he was near the house the centurion sent some friends to tell Jesus that he didn’t deserve to have him come under his roof, and that he hadn’t come himself because he didn’t feel worthy to come to Jesus.

***

Jesus could come to my house then.

As long as he brings fish, that is.

I am listening.

***

The centurion told Jesus to say the word, and his servant would be healed.

***

What if Jesus said the word and fish appeared?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was amazed at this centurion and He turned to the crowd following Him and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

The men the centurion had sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

***

Good. Jesus is finished healing. I bet he’s hungry now. I think I’ll go hang around and see if I can get an invite to dinner.

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Leaping Away

Christ cleansing a leper

Christ cleansing a leper by Jean-Marie Melchior Doze, 1864

Wait a minute, person. I’m almost finished with all that fish in the boat.

I had to work really hard to eat all that. It took me two weeks. There were a lot of fish.

Okay, I’m ready for another story now. Maybe about some water so I can wash all those fish down.

What? No water? You’re telling me a story about a man who leapt around all day?

He leaped everywhere and couldn’t stop leaping so he asked Jesus to heal him?

I leap around a lot too, but I don’t want Jesus to heal me. Leaping is fun.

Oh. The man didn’t leap, he had leprosy? What kind of a thing is that? It sounds like leaping to me.

***

The man had a really bad skin disease called leprosy. In Jesus’ day people with this disease had to stay far away from other people and if anyone started coming near to them they had to shout, “Unclean, unclean.”

***

Couldn’t they take a bath so they were clean again?

I’m listening.

***

Their disease was what made them unclean. People were afraid to touch them because they were concerned that they might get the disease too.

This man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

***

Jesus touched him? I thought you said you couldn’t touch those people because you might get that leaping disease.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said, “I am willing. Be clean!”

Immediately the leprosy left the man and he was healed.

***

Could that man still leap if he wanted to?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told the man not to tell anyone, but to show himself to the priest. In those days lepers went to the priest when they were healed and the priest was the one who declared them clean.

But the man leaped around and told everyone what Jesus had done for him. Crowds of people came to have Jesus heal them and Jesus often had to withdraw into lonely places in order to pray.

***

Do you think any of those people who came to be healed brought any fish with them?

I know I ate a lot of fish. But I’m going to need some more tomorrow.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on March 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Busy Day Healing

The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47.

The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, don’t wait for me. I’m still going after the fish Jesus and his disciples left in the boat.

What do you mean, it’s time for another story? That fish story was good enough for me.

He did? Jesus had a busy day in Capernaum? With more miracles?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

On the Sabbath Jesus went to the synagogue in Capernaum and began to teach. And people were amazed at his teaching because he taught with authority.

And while he was teaching, a man possessed by an evil spirit cried out, “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God!”

***

I bet Jesus could just pull out his lightsaber and zap that guy. Doesn’t that evil spirit guy know who Jesus is?

Oh, he does know?

And what do you mean, Jesus doesn’t need a lightsaber? That spoils all the fun.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said sternly, “Be quiet! Come out of him.”

The evil spirit threw the man down before everyone there and came out with a shriek.

***

That’s it? Jesus just says a few words and that evil spirit leaves?

That’s pretty cool, but I still wish he used a lightsaber.

God could rewrite the Bible and add lightsabers to it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus left the synagogue he went with James and John to Simon and Andrew’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever so Jesus went to her, took her hand, and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.

That evening people brought all kinds of sick and demon possessed to Jesus. Jesus laid his hands on each of the sick and healed them, and drove out many demons, but he wouldn’t let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

***

So Jesus could heal with a few words or a touch but he wouldn’t let the demons speak. I wonder what they would do with their words.

If they try to do anything bad I’m going to give them what for.

Okay, I’ll let you finish the story.

***

That night Jesus went to a place by himself to pray and when his disciples found him they all left to go to the nearby villages. They travelled throughout Galilee. Jesus preached the good news of the kingdom, healed every sickness and disease, and drove out demons.

***

That’s it? No lightsabers, no fish, nothing?

I’ll see you later. I’m going back to that boat with all the fish in it.

 
24 Comments

Posted by on March 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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