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Tag Archives: Fish

Drowning Pigs

26 May

After Jesus calmed that storm and they let some fish jump into their boat and had a fish feast…

What do you mean, I’m making that part up?

I know it doesn’t say anything in that part of the Bible about anybody eating fish, but you know they must have.

You can believe what you want. I prefer to believe that they ate fish – and invited me to the feast.

***

After Jesus calmed the storm they sailed to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, to the region of the Gerasenes.

And this dude came out to meet Jesus.

***

Didn’t lots of people come out to meet Jesus?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

This dude had an evil spirit and lived in the tombs. He had often been chained hand and foot but he broke the chains and no one was strong enough to subdue him. He would cry out night and day and cut himself with stones.

***

Wow, that’s some scary dude. If I was Jesus I’d run back to the boat and head back home.

He stayed there? Did he have his tail between his legs?

I am listening.

***

The man ran to Jesus and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don’t torture me!” For Jesus had commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man.

Jesus asked the man his name and the man said Legion, because many demons had gone into him.

***

That would be pretty squishy for all those demons to fit inside one man. I wonder how they got along with each other.

I’m listening, but I’ve got to make comments sometimes.

***

The demons begged Jesus not to send them into the Abyss. There was a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside and the demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs. Jesus let them, and as soon as they went into the pigs, they rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

***

What a waste of a lot of good bacon.

I can swim. Could I go retrieve some pigs?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

The people tending the pigs ran off to report what had happened and people came to see what was going on. When the people came to meet Jesus they found the man who had been possessed by demons sitting there, dressed and in his right mind.

The people asked Jesus to leave because they were afraid.

The man Jesus had cured begged to go with him, but Jesus told him to return home and tell how much God had done for him. So that’s what the man did, and all the people were amazed.

***

You’re not done with the story are you?

What about those pigs?

13 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 26, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Demon, dogs, Fish, Jesus, Legion, Pets, Pig, Sea of Galilee

Eat What You Want Day

11 May

Today is Eat What You Want Day. This is absolutely my favorite day of the year.

Let’s see. What do I want to eat today?

Maybe some of that fish I’ve been wanting lately.

Or how about some ice cream?

Wait a minute. I know! I’m going to eat a nice, big, juicy steak. And then some meaty bones that I can chew on for the rest of the day.

And some treats tossed in here and there all day.

My mouth is drooling watering just thinking about all that good food.

Here comes my person. I bet she’s coming to open the refrigerator for me right now and give me something delicious.

Wait! What? What do you mean you don’t have any of those good things to eat in the house?

But it’s Eat What You Want Day. How can I eat what I want if it’s not here to eat?

Person, you’ve got a job to do. You’ve got to go to the store right now and get me everything I want to eat.

You’re not? You’re not going to the store?

You’re giving me what to eat? Dog food?

That’s all I get is dog food?

I guess that wasn’t so bad.

Click here for more great pet blogs.

33 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 11, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: dog food, Eat What You Want Day, Fish, Food, Ice cream, meaty bone, Pet, steak

Say the Word

28 Apr

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centurion by Paolo Veronese Source: http://www.artst.org/mannerism/veronese/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Jesus having another fish dinner yet?

What do you mean, I’m out of luck? I know Jesus can have fish dinner whenever He wants.

Oh, He healed somebody else? But it was different than before?

I guess I’ll listen. I like miracles.

***

There was a Roman centurion in Capernaum who was highly thought of by the Jews. He loved the nation of Israel and had built a synagogue for them.

***

Did he give treats to the dogs?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

This centurion had a servant whom he valued highly who was sick and about to die. When he heard of Jesus he sent some of the elders of the Jews to Him, asking Him if he would heal the servant. The Jews told Jesus that the man deserved to have Him do this.

Jesus went with the men, but when he was near the house the centurion sent some friends to tell Jesus that he didn’t deserve to have him come under his roof, and that he hadn’t come himself because he didn’t feel worthy to come to Jesus.

***

Jesus could come to my house then.

As long as he brings fish, that is.

I am listening.

***

The centurion told Jesus to say the word, and his servant would be healed.

***

What if Jesus said the word and fish appeared?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was amazed at this centurion and He turned to the crowd following Him and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

The men the centurion had sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

***

Good. Jesus is finished healing. I bet he’s hungry now. I think I’ll go hang around and see if I can get an invite to dinner.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Centurion, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Israel, Jesus, Jews

Leaping Away

10 Mar

Christ cleansing a leper by Jean-Marie Melchior Doze, 1864

Wait a minute, person. I’m almost finished with all that fish in the boat.

I had to work really hard to eat all that. It took me two weeks. There were a lot of fish.

Okay, I’m ready for another story now. Maybe about some water so I can wash all those fish down.

What? No water? You’re telling me a story about a man who leapt around all day?

He leaped everywhere and couldn’t stop leaping so he asked Jesus to heal him?

I leap around a lot too, but I don’t want Jesus to heal me. Leaping is fun.

Oh. The man didn’t leap, he had leprosy? What kind of a thing is that? It sounds like leaping to me.

***

The man had a really bad skin disease called leprosy. In Jesus’ day people with this disease had to stay far away from other people and if anyone started coming near to them they had to shout, “Unclean, unclean.”

***

Couldn’t they take a bath so they were clean again?

I’m listening.

***

Their disease was what made them unclean. People were afraid to touch them because they were concerned that they might get the disease too.

This man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

***

Jesus touched him? I thought you said you couldn’t touch those people because you might get that leaping disease.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said, “I am willing. Be clean!”

Immediately the leprosy left the man and he was healed.

***

Could that man still leap if he wanted to?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told the man not to tell anyone, but to show himself to the priest. In those days lepers went to the priest when they were healed and the priest was the one who declared them clean.

But the man leaped around and told everyone what Jesus had done for him. Crowds of people came to have Jesus heal them and Jesus often had to withdraw into lonely places in order to pray.

***

Do you think any of those people who came to be healed brought any fish with them?

I know I ate a lot of fish. But I’m going to need some more tomorrow.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Disease, dogs, Fish, Jesus, Leprosy, Lord, Pets, Religion and Spirituality

A Busy Day Healing

03 Mar

The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, don’t wait for me. I’m still going after the fish Jesus and his disciples left in the boat.

What do you mean, it’s time for another story? That fish story was good enough for me.

He did? Jesus had a busy day in Capernaum? With more miracles?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

On the Sabbath Jesus went to the synagogue in Capernaum and began to teach. And people were amazed at his teaching because he taught with authority.

And while he was teaching, a man possessed by an evil spirit cried out, “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God!”

***

I bet Jesus could just pull out his lightsaber and zap that guy. Doesn’t that evil spirit guy know who Jesus is?

Oh, he does know?

And what do you mean, Jesus doesn’t need a lightsaber? That spoils all the fun.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said sternly, “Be quiet! Come out of him.”

The evil spirit threw the man down before everyone there and came out with a shriek.

***

That’s it? Jesus just says a few words and that evil spirit leaves?

That’s pretty cool, but I still wish he used a lightsaber.

God could rewrite the Bible and add lightsabers to it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus left the synagogue he went with James and John to Simon and Andrew’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever so Jesus went to her, took her hand, and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.

That evening people brought all kinds of sick and demon possessed to Jesus. Jesus laid his hands on each of the sick and healed them, and drove out many demons, but he wouldn’t let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

***

So Jesus could heal with a few words or a touch but he wouldn’t let the demons speak. I wonder what they would do with their words.

If they try to do anything bad I’m going to give them what for.

Okay, I’ll let you finish the story.

***

That night Jesus went to a place by himself to pray and when his disciples found him they all left to go to the nearby villages. They travelled throughout Galilee. Jesus preached the good news of the kingdom, healed every sickness and disease, and drove out demons.

***

That’s it? No lightsabers, no fish, nothing?

I’ll see you later. I’m going back to that boat with all the fish in it.

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Christianity, Demon, dogs, Fish, Galilee, God, Lightsaber, Pets

A Fish Story

24 Feb

Jesus and the miraculous catch of fish, in the Sea of Galilee, by Raphael (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is it! This is what I’ve been waiting for.

A fish story!

Jesus got into a fishing boat, so there’s gotta be fish around. Right?

Okay, I’ll listen. But can I have some fish treats to munch on while I’m listening?

People eat popcorn at the movies. Shouldn’t dogs be allowed some treats when they hear stories?

***

Jesus was standing by the Sea of Galilee and people were crowding around him and listening to him teach about the word of God. There were two fishing boats there and the fishermen were nearby washing their nets. So Jesus got into the boat belonging to Simon and asked him to put out a little from shore, and he taught the people from the boat.

***

I wish I had been there. I could have gone swimming right up to that boat. Were there any fish in it?

I am listening.

***

When Jesus had finished speaking he told Simon to put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.

But Simon said they’d been working hard all night and hadn’t caught anything.

***

Oh, so there weren’t any fish in that boat. I’m jumping out and swimming back to shore.

***

Because Jesus had told Simon to let down his nets, he did it. And when they did, they caught so many fish that their nets began to break. They had to signal their partners, James and John, to bring their boat over to help them. They filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

***

Guess I’d better swim back and help those boats out now.

I am listening. What did you think I was doing?

***

Simon Peter fell on his knees and said, “Go away from me Lord; I am a sinful man!” because he and his companions were astonished at all the fish they had caught.

But Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will be fishers of men.”

And they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed Jesus.

***

They left their boats full of fish there? Woo woo! I’m staying with the boats!

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Boat, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Jesus, Pets, Sea of Galilee

Follow the Fish

20 Jan

Hey person, is it true that Jesus went up to people and said “Follow me,” and they followed him? He must have had some pretty good treats with him or something.

What do you mean they left their fish to follow Jesus? How could you leave a good meal to follow anyone?

I’ll try to listen. I’m still thinking about all those fish.

Some of the disciples had been introduced to Jesus when they were hanging out in the wilderness with John the Baptist. John told the disciples that Jesus was the Lamb of God.

They talked with Jesus, but later went back to their homes in Galilee and were busy fishing when Jesus showed up.

Jesus saw Simon, called Peter, and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake. And he said to them, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Fishers of men? If those men rubbed fish oil all over themselves I’d go fish for them. And I’d give them lots of big, slobbery kisses.

I’m listening.

Then Jesus walked a little further and he saw James and John in a boat preparing their nets with their father Zebedee. Jesus called James and John and they left their father with the boat and followed Jesus.

I bet they were just tired of working for their dad and wanted to have a good time.

What do you mean they didn’t always have a good time? All those miracles Jesus did? He even turned a little bit of food into enough to feed thousands of people. I bet those disciples always had all they wanted to eat. And good stuff too. Like fish.

Jesus said what?

Anyone who follows Him must deny himself and take up his cross daily?

What does that mean? Does that mean no treats or extra fish?

Oh. It means I have to go where Jesus wants me to go? I guess that’s not so bad. He hung out a lot with fishermen and sometimes he even helped them catch lots of fish – so I guess if I follow Jesus I’m following the fish.

16 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Fish, Galilee, James, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets

A Net Full of Fish

15 Apr

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Boat, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets, Sea of Galilee

Save the Animals

23 Oct

Nineveh

My person told me that animals are important to God and that there are lots of animal stories in the Bible. I didn’t believe her. Animals can’t read so why would they be in a book. My person told me you don’t have to be able to read – someone else can still write about you. Then she told me a story.

A long time ago there was a big city called Nineveh. Nineveh was full of bad people and because they were so bad God thought they needed to be destroyed. But God decided to give them one last chance so he told this dude named Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the people to repent.

Okay, okay – my person said this was about animals. I told my person she’d better stop telling me this story if it’s not going to be about animals. She told me to have patience, but she already knows that patience is not my middle name.

She finally put an animal in the story but it was a fish. I like fish – for dinner. Well, this fish decided to have Jonah for dinner. Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh because the people were so bad – so he got on a ship going the other direction. That made the fish happy because he got hold of Jonah and swallowed him. God wouldn’t let the fish keep Jonah though. He made that fish swim back to shore and spit Jonah out.

Okay – so there’s a hungry fish in the story. So what? My person said to have patience – there will be more animals. I’m rolling my eyes now. Finally that dude Jonah made it to Nineveh and told the people they had to change their ways – or else. The king of Nineveh made all the people and animals stop eating and drinking and put on sackcloth (ugly costumes) and call on God. Okay finally – there’s some animals with an important role even if they do have to go hungry and thirsty and wear ugly costumes.

Nineveh turned from its evil ways (I think it’s hard to be bad when you’re wearing ugly costumes – people laugh at you) and God told Jonah that He was happy that all the people and animals had been saved.

Jonah wasn’t very happy though. I think that fish needs to swallow him for good this time.

P.S. One of my blogging friends invited me to be a guest on her blog. It’s all about how I came to live with my people. You can find it here:
http://thewriteplacethewritetime.wordpress.com/guest-bloggers/introducing-bongo/
. After you read my story check out the rest of her blog too.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 23, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Book of Jonah, faith, Fish, God, Jonah, Nineveh