Tag Archives: Noah

Boat Ride Anyone?

Noah's ArkI was really upset when my person told me the Bible story of creation and I found out we were only allowed to eat plants. No meat! It just isn’t fair.

Well, my person told me all that changes so I hope she’s coming through. She said she’d tell me another story and it even has animals in it, but I’m only listening if I get to eat meat.

My person said that this story happened a long time ago and everyone on earth was very bad. Everyone except one man, that is. And God came to this man and told him to build an ark. I asked my person what an ark was and she said it was a big boat. Okay, so is this story about boats or meat?

My person told me to lie down and listen and she’d get to it. I wasn’t very happy about it but I figured I could go to sleep if she kept talking about boats.

This man who had to build the boat was named Noah. It took him a long time to build it because God told him to make a really big boat. My person said he probably wasn’t anywhere near a large lake or the ocean and all the bad people around him probably came and made fun of him.

I don’t know about Noah, but I think I’m ready to give this story up. Boats, bad people, and Noah. I haven’t seen any animals and where’s the beef?

I started to walk away and my person grabbed me by the collar and made me stay. Then she told me that not only did God tell Noah to build a big boat, He also told Noah to collect two of every kind of animal. When Noah finished the boat they’d all get in it and go for a ride.

I’m not sure I’d want to ride in a boat. I might get seasick. I guess I’d be okay in Noah’s boat though. It didn’t have a sea to make me sick.

My person said all that changed. When Noah finished the boat and he and his family and all the animals got inside, God made it start raining – a bunch. And that rain kept up for forty days and forty nights and flooded everything and wiped out all the bad people. But Noah and all those animals had to stay on that boat for a year before all that water went away.

Finally God told Noah that everybody could leave the ark, and He promised Noah and all the animals that He wouldn’t send a flood like that again. He said His rainbow would be the sign of His promise.

I still felt very hungry and started to head toward the door so my person could let me outside when she said the story wasn’t quite over. I turned around and looked at her. She said that in the beginning God had given all the green plants to eat. When Noah and everybody got off the boat, God told them they could also eat meat.

Yes!!! I’m saved. I’m pushing the veggies aside. Please pass the meat platter.


Bongo with a Bone


Posted by on November 13, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor


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