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Tag Archives: Religion and Spirituality

Money or Prayer

09 Mar

Bernardo Belloto - Jesus cleansing the templeIn last week’s story Jesus was riding on a donkey and now he’s turning over tables in the temple?

I bet He rode the donkey into the temple and the donkey accidentally knocked those tables over.

That didn’t happen?

Jesus knocked over those tables on purpose?

I don’t get it.

I thought Jesus was a nice, peaceful guy who healed people and gave dogs loves and treats.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts.

***

So why did Jesus do that?

Weren’t those people just trying to make a living?

They needed to make money so they could feed their dogs, didn’t they?

What do you mean, they were selling things for too high a price?

That doesn’t make sense. Wouldn’t the people just go buy stuff somewhere else then?

Oh. They could only use temple stuff when they worshiped God there – so they had to buy it?

I would bark a lot.

I am listening.

***

And as Jesus taught them, He said, “Is it not written” ‘My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’?

But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.’”

***

I get it. Those people were making all kinds of money when they should have been praying.

***

The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill Jesus, for they feared Him, because the whole crowd was amazed at His teaching.

***

Wouldn’t it have been better if those chief priests and teachers of the law listened to Jesus and started praying instead of trying to kill Him?

I don’t think I like those guys.

I bet they never give their dogs treats.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on March 9, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Eeny Mina Miny Treat

23 Feb

Parable of the 10 minasI’ve been trying to climb a tree ever since I heard the story last week about Zacchaeus in the tree.

Scratchy is useless.

He’s supposed to teach me how to climb and he won’t even leave the house.

Okay, I’m not getting anywhere with the tree thing, I might as well listen to the next story.

Maybe this story will be about treats.

***

Jesus told a parable because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once.

***

Do dogs get treats when the kingdom of God appears? Because if they do I’m voting for it to appear at once.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.”

***

What are minas? Are they like treats?

***

“’Put this money to work,’ the man said, ‘until I come back.”

***

Oh, it’s money. Well, I can pretend they’re treats.

***

“But the man’s subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’”

***

He must have been stingy with his treats.

I’m listening. How do you think I know what the man is doing?

***

“He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the treats money, in order to find out what they had gained with it.

The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina treat has earned ten more.’”

***

Woo woo! Treats for everybody!

***

“’Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’

“The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina treat has earned five more.’”

***

And more treats for everybody. It’s a real party!

***

“Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’”

***

What a loser. He’s not even invited to the party.

***

“His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’”

***

He could have left that mina treat with me.

I would have deposited a lot of slobber on it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina treat away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas treats.’

‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’

***

I’ll eat some!

***

He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away. But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them – bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”

***

I know who I’m hanging out with.

That guy who has eleven minas treats has plenty to share.

***

After Jesus had said this, He went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem.

***

Hey Jesus, where did that guy with all the treats go?

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 23, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Keep Bugging

29 Dec
English: Illustration of the Parable of the Un...

English: Illustration of the Parable of the Unjust Judge from the New Testament Gospel of Luke (Luke 18:1-9) by John Everett Millais for The Parables of Our Lord (1863) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, I think that faith thing does work.

Remember last week when I said I had faith that I would get treats?

Well, I did get treats for Christmas so my faith did work.

I’m supposed to what?

I’m supposed to thank Jesus for the treats my faith brought?

Maybe you should just tell me another story.

***

Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

***

Jesus is telling another one of those Pair a Bulls?

They must have had a lot of bulls around in His day.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’”

***

Did that widow have to keep getting appointments to see the judge? I bet she had a really big phone bill from making all those phone calls for appointments.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

“For some time the judge refused to grant the widow justice. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

***

See person. That’s why I keep bugging you until I get what I want. You know that I won’t quit until I get it and you get tired of my bugging.

What, there’s more?

***

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”

***

I have faith.

My faith brought me treats.

Thank you Jesus.

I have faith and treats.

Well, I used to have treats.

I think I need more faith treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Lost Sheep

17 Nov
English: Lost sheep on farm track.

English: Lost sheep on farm track. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you don’t have to tell me a Bible story. I’m still full from that banquet story last week. I think I’ll roll over and take a nap.

What? The next story talks about Jesus eating?

I’m on my way.

I bet if I hung out near him under the table he’d hand me some scraps.

I’m listening now.

***

The tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

***

Do you think Jesus would welcome a perfect dog to eat with him too?

Not some other dog – I mean me!

I am too a perfect dog.

***

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Supposed one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.”

***

Lost sheep? I’m on it!

Here I go! The perfect sheep dog to the rescue!

What do you mean, I’m not a sheep dog?

Well, I’ve got some blogging buddies who are. I’m sure they’d come and help me.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said, “Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?”

***

I could stay and guard those ninety-nine sheep that are left.

I’d be the most perfect guard dog.

What do you mean, I’m not a perfect listener?

***

Jesus continued, “And when he finds the lost sheep, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.”

***

Okay, the sheep are all home now. It must be time for a perfect break.

Oooh! That must mean it’s snack time.

I’m listening! I’m listening!

***

Jesus went on with the story, “Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’”

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

***

Rejoicing in heaven?

That sounds like a real party.

I wonder what kind of treats they serve at parties in heaven.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 17, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Kingdom of God is Like…

27 Oct

Mustard treeJesus told people what the kingdom of God is like? Is that like telling people what heaven is like?

I can’t wait to hear. I bet it’s wonderful.

I bet there is lots of water with fish in it.

And the fish jump right out of the water and into our mouths.

And when we’ve had our fill of fish we can go swimming.

And there are lots of cats to chase – or better yet, no cats at all.

Oh. Oops. Some of my blogging friends are cats.

There are certain cats allowed – but no others.

And there are no leashes – we don’t have to keep our people on leashes because it’s impossible to get lost in heaven.

And we can run free wherever and whenever we want.

And when we get tired of running there are lots of treats waiting for us, and a nice cozy spot to curl up for a nap.

Is that what Jesus says heaven is like?

Okay, I’ll listen to what Jesus says.

***

Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like?”

***

What do you mean, Jesus asked that?

I thought Jesus knew everything. Isn’t He God?

He should know what His own kingdom is like.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus asked another question. “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to?”

***

Oh, I get it. Jesus was thinking out loud. That’s what I do on my blog all the time.

I’m listening person.

***

Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden.

***

I get it! The man planted something and now us dogs get to go dig it up.

That’s heaven, right?

***

Jesus said that though the mustard seed is the smallest of all the seeds the people had, when it grows it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, and the birds of the air come and perch on its branches.

***

That’s what the kingdom of God is like?

Oh, now I see. The Bible talks about self control. So if I control myself and don’t dig up that seed – and keep all the other dogs from digging up that seed – then we will have a tree to leave messages on.

I almost forgot that it’s really important to have trees in heaven.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Worrying Never Helps

06 Oct

Calla Lily FieldHey person, last week you told me one of Jesus’ stories about the man who stored up all his stuff for himself.

Well, it didn’t go so good for him so I decided I’d get rid of some of my stuff.

So if you’ll give me all my treats I’ll eat them and that will be the end of that.

Then I’ll get rid of all my toys. The ones I’ve chewed up, that is.

What do you mean, you’ve already gotten rid of the chewed up ones? How am I supposed to get rid of my stuff if you’ve already done it for me?

Okay, I’ll listen to the next story. But I hope it doesn’t say I have to get rid of even more stuff. I still have some toys that I haven’t chewed up yet.

***

Jesus was talking to His disciples and He said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.”

***

Whew! I don’t worry about clothes. But about that eating stuff, I sure hope you remember to feed me on time person.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Jesus said, “Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.”

***

What is Jesus talking about? Food is everything!

I am too listening.

***

Jesus continued, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

***

I sure hope I’m more valuable than those pesky ravens. They steal eggs from the little bird’s nests.

***

Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”

***

If I don’t worry will that make my life longer? Just make sure you feed me on time, person.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Then Jesus said, “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!

***

What’s all this business about clothes? King Solomon can keep all his fancy clothes. Just feed me on time.

***

“And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink,” said Jesus. “Do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”

***

So if I seek God’s kingdom I’ll get food and treats and everything? Maybe some new toys too?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on October 6, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Storing up Stuff

29 Sep
The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt - photo credit Wikipedia

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Hey person, I prayed and I’m still waiting for the fish.

God is being slow in answering my prayer. I figured fish would be falling from the sky by now.

What? You’re going to tell me one of Jesus’ parables about collecting too much stuff?

Fish isn’t stuff. I wouldn’t collect it, I’d eat it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A crowd had gathered around Jesus and someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

***

You tell him, Jesus!

Not me. I’m not trying to collect all kinds of possessions. I would eat the fish as soon as I got it.

I am listening.

***

And Jesus told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

***

I could help him eat his crops.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then the man said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

***

I think I’m going to go be that man’s dog.

***

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

***

Oops! Hey person, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m the most faithfullest dog there is. I would never leave you.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

***

That doesn’t count toys and dog treats, does it?

 
16 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Stomping on Snakes

01 Sep

Jesus sends the 72 in pairsWait a minute. Last week you told me a story about Jesus healing that blind man, and now you’re telling me He sent His disciples away?

What do you mean, a training mission?

Well, if Jesus is training His disciples, I should get trained too. I’m going with them.

I don’t need to listen to the story. I’ll find it out from those disciples when I follow them.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus appointed seventy-two disciples and sent them two by two ahead of Him to every town and place where He was about to go.

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.”

***

Those disciples need a guard dog to protect them from those wolves. I’d better go for sure.

***

Jesus told the disciples to stay in the first house they enter if a man of peace is there, and not to move around from house to house. He also said, “When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God is near you.’”

***

Wait! They got free food and then they got to do miracles too?

I’m going on this trip for sure.

***

Then Jesus said to them, “When you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, ‘Even the dust of your town that sticks to our feet we wipe off against you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God is near.’”

***

I like kicking up dust. That sounds like fun.

I am listening.

***

When the seventy-two disciples returned they were full of joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

Jesus said, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

***

I think I’m going to go out and get me a few snakes and scorpions right now.

***

“However,” Jesus said, “do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

***

Snakes and scorpions, watch out! I’m going to trample on you and then I’m going to escape to heaven where you can’t touch me – ‘cause my name’s written there.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on September 1, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Like a Little Child

04 Aug
Puppy in the grass

Puppy in the grass (Photo credit: justmakeit)

You know that fish Peter found last week with the coin in its mouth?

I’m going to go hang out with Peter and see if he’ll share.

What? What do you mean, Peter’s busy?

***

An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest.

***

What? The disciples argued? I thought they were perfect.

You’d think anyone that hangs out around Jesus as much as they did would have Jesus rub off on them and they wouldn’t do anything wrong.

Okay. I’ll listen.

***

Jesus knew what they were arguing about and He called a little child and had him stand among them.

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

***

Oh. Does that mean I have to be like a puppy again in order to go to heaven?

***

Jesus also said, “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”

***

I would welcome a puppy. Maybe you should go out and get me a puppy, person.

I am too listening.

***

“But,” Jesus said, “if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

***

Does teaching a puppy how to do mischief cause that puppy to sin?

On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t get a puppy. I like swimming, but not if I have a weight around my neck that makes me sink to the bottom.

I’m not sure I want to listen anymore.

Okay, I guess I’ll listen. Are you almost done?

***

Jesus told a story to show how much He cared about the little ones.

He said, “If a man owns a hundred sheep,…

***

Sheep!? What happened to the puppy?

***

and one of the sheep wanders away, the man will leave the ninety-nine sheep on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off. And if he finds it, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.” Jesus said, “In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

***

Hey person, I’ll be back in awhile.

I’m going to look for that puppy. I think he got lost.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 4, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Back Down the Mountain

21 Jul

Jesus heals boy with evil spiritI bet those disciples had a hard time coming down the mountain after Jesus turned all white in that story you told me last week.

But I guess they had to come down. There weren’t any fish on top of that mountain.

So did they get some fish when they got down from the mountain?

***

When they came down to the other disciples they saw a large crowd around them and teachers of the law arguing with them. When the people saw Jesus they ran to greet him and he asked them what they were arguing about.

***

I bet they were arguing about who had the most fish.

I am listening.

***

A man in the crowd answered Jesus. “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid.

***

I bet he’s just upset because he didn’t get any fish for dinner.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The man said he’d asked Jesus’ disciples to drive out the spirit from his son, but they couldn’t.

***

That man’s son must really be mad.

***

“O unbelieving generation,” Jesus said, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

They brought the boy to Jesus and when the evil spirit saw Jesus it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion.

***

That spirit must be really mad. I bet it wouldn’t even respond if you slapped it in the face with a big fish.

***

The boy’s father said to Jesus, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Jesus rebuked the spirit and it came out of the boy.

***

Woo woo! Give that boy some fish! And Jesus too.

Why don’t you think I’m listening?

***

The disciples came to Jesus and asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

***

I think I need to work on my faith.

When my faith is strong enough I’ll be able to tell a school of fish to move from the ocean to my dinner plate.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on July 21, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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