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Up the Mountain

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) b...

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) by Raphael, depicting Christ miraculously discoursing with Moses and Elijah. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What? Jesus is making his disciples climb a mountain?

I hope it wasn’t a hot day. I don’t like climbing mountains on hot days.

Oh. He only took three of his disciples? Were the other ones out of shape? I bet that mountain was too high and steep for them and they couldn’t make it.

So who did Jesus take?

I am listening to the story. I’m just trying to help you along.

***

Jesus took Peter, James, and John up the mountain with him.

And when they were alone He was transfigured before them.

***

Did He become all crippled and ugly looking?

Well, isn’t disfigured the same as transfigured?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus face shone like the sun and his clothes became as white as light.

And then Moses and Elijah appeared and they were talking with Jesus.

***

Hey, I thought this was a story about Jesus. How did Moses and Elijah get into it?

I am listening.

***

Peter, James, and John were frightened and didn’t know what to do so Peter said, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters – one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

***

Do you think they could put up a shelter for me too? I bet it’s hot up there on that mountain.

***

While Peter was still speaking a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

***

Now I’m really in trouble. It was bad enough when you were telling me to listen, but now God is.

***

When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified.

***

Were they having trouble listening too?

***

Jesus came and touched the disciples. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The disciples looked around and saw no one except Jesus.

***

Is this like the Twilight Zone or something?

***

As Jesus and the disciples were coming back down the mountain Jesus told them not to tell anyone what they’d seen until Jesus had been raised from the dead.

The disciples weren’t sure what Jesus meant, but they didn’t tell anyone for a long time.

***

This was really a strange story. Jesus didn’t heal anybody, and He didn’t help anyone catch a bunch of fish.

Hey, maybe Moses and Elijah went to get a bunch of fish and they’ll be back with dinner.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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To the Dogs

Jezabel and Ahab Meeting Elijah in Naboth's Vi...

My person told me that not all the people in the Bible were good. I didn’t believe her so she started telling me a story about an evil queen named Jezebel. Before I sat down ready to listen I asked her if there were any animals in the story. She said there were – dogs actually – but she said I probably didn’t want to hear about it. She said it was very sad.

I said I’d listen and decide for myself so my person started telling me the story. She said Jezebel was married to King Ahab, the king of Israel, and they were both very bad. Jezebel worshiped Baal instead of the one true God and she got King Ahab to worship Baal too.

I wasn’t sure if worshipping Baal was important, but then my person said Jezebel killed all the prophets of God that she could find. That was pretty bad.

Well one day King Ahab became upset because he wanted to buy a vineyard and the man who owned it wouldn’t sell it to him. Jezebel knew how to take care of that. She had that vineyard owner killed and then told King Ahab to go get the vineyard – it belonged to him now.

I guess it was sad about that vineyard owner, but I started getting really angry at that mean old Queen Jezebel. I told my person maybe she should stop because I felt some growls about to erupt.

My person said there was just a little bit more because when King Ahab went to that vineyard Elijah showed up. Ahab and Elijah didn’t get along very well but Jezebel really hated Elijah and wanted to kill him. It sounds like she wanted to kill everybody. Elijah was a prophet of the Lord and he told King Ahab Jezebel would get her fair share. He said that dogs would devour her.

My person said that that is what eventually happened. I am so bummed. Not about Jezebel. She deserved it and my growls are calming down now. But those poor dogs. They must have been really hungry. Didn’t they have any good pet stores in those days? Someone could have made a lot of money by opening up a pet store so people could buy their dogs some good food and tasty treats.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on November 20, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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