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Greater Power

Sébastien Bourdon [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsSo last week I was getting ready to give Saul what for because you said Philip wasn’t going to do it.

And you keep telling me I won’t have to.

I don’t get it.

What?

Philip is doing other things and I need to do other things to?

What do you mean like listening?

***

Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, “This man is the divine power known as the Great Power.”They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic.

***

Magic?

Did you say magic?

Can he conjure up some treats for me?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

***

So does that mean that God’s power is greater than a sorcerer’s power?

I get it now.

I need to ask God for treats.

***

When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them.

***

Peter and John!

They’re fishermen.

I bet they’d give me some fish if I went fishing with them.

I am too listening.

***

When Peter and John arrived they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John placed their hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit.

***

Do you think it would work if I placed my paws on them?

***

When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostle’s hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

Peter answered, “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!”

***

What about treats?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Peter continued, “You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.

***

Okay. Never mind the treats.

I’m praying now.

***

Then Simon answered, “Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me.

***

Hey Peter, will you pray for me too?

And then give me some fish?

***

When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel to many Samaritan villages.

***

Did I learn something in this story?

Yeah. Don’t offer money for what you can get with prayer.

God might send treats and fish for free.

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12 Comments

Posted by on August 10, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Who to Obey?

Distant Shores Media/Sweet Publishing [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsI think that man that Peter healed in the last story still wants treats.

I know because he was hanging on to Peter and John.

If I hang on to you will you give me some treats?

I might get treats after I listen to the story?

Okay, I’m listening!

***

While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon’s Colonnade, so Peter began speaking to them.

The priests and the captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees came up to Peter and John while they were speaking to the people.

***

Did they want treats too?

I am listening.

***

They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead. They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day.

***

They got locked in jail too?

I wonder if it was anything like my dog jail.

***

But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.

***

If I could just get them to give me one treat each I’d be set for life.

Or at least for next week.

I’m listening.

***

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them. “By what power did you do this?”

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.’”

***

That’s telling them!

***

Peter continued, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.

***

Those guys better listen to Peter or they’re going to be lost for sure.

And they won’t get any treats either.

***

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

***

I bet all those fish they ate made them smart.

Hey person, you need to give me more fish.

***

But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together.

***

I bet they’re going to ask Peter and John for some fish.

***

“What are we going to do with these men?” they asked. “Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it. But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name.”

***

They’re just upset because Jesus didn’t give them any treats.

***

Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

***

Those Sanhedrin guys ought to be nicer to Peter and John.

I bet Jesus would give them some fish if they were.

***

After further threats they let them go. They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened. For the man who was miraculously healed was over forty years old.

***

Forty years is a long time to be waiting for treats.

By the way, where’s my treats?

You said – if I listened.

I did not hear you say might.

When you put treats in a sentence, that’s the only word I hear.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Begging for Treats

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ASaint_Pierre_et_saint_Jean_gu%C3%A9rissant_le_boiteux_-_Poussin_-_Metropolitan.jpgI’m still confused about all those different languages the people were speaking in the last story you told me.

Which people were speaking to the dogs?

The church grew after that day?

So I’m wondering – how many dogs joined the church?

Yes, I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer – at three in the afternoon.

***

I thought you said a bunch of people joined the church.

Didn’t they have a great big church building by now?

Why were they going to the temple?

What do you mean, the church isn’t a building?

The church is people?

And dogs too. Right?

I am listening.

***

Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts.

***

Did people give him treats?

That’s what I beg for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money.

***

What good is money?

You can’t eat it.

***

Peter looked straight at him, as did John.

***

I hate it when people do that.

***

Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I have I give you.

***

Oh good. Peter must be giving him treats.

***

Peter said, “In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”

***

Oh, I get it.

Peter wants to take him for a walk.

Walks are good.

I’m listening, but I think I’ll follow them on their walk.

***

Taking him by the right hand, Peter helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

***

That man sounds like he’s fun to go on a walk with.

I bet he’d play with me too.

***

When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

***

If that man isn’t begging anymore, will people still give him treats?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 22, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Taking my Place

Nobody’s going to read my post today.

First, they’re going to be out looking for that pesky groundhog.

You know, the one who’s supposed to see his shadow so we actually get some winter before it turns spring.

What do you mean, we don’t have any groundhogs here?

That’s terrible! You mean we’re not going to get any snow?

Could somebody please send me some snow?

Anyway, after everybody finishes looking for that groundhog – that they’re not going to find if they live near me – they’re going inside to watch the Super Bowl.

And after that they’ll remember all the things they should have been doing and nobody’s going to read my blog.

Wait! What?

You said two of Jesus’ disciples want to be on each side of Him?

Jesus will have trouble passing any fish to me then.

I’d better do something about this.

Yes, I’m listening to the story.

***

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

“What do you want me to do for you?” He asked.

They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

***

I’m sure Jesus would rather have a dog by His side.

I am listening.

***

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

***

There’s just water in that cup, right?

And baptism, isn’t that kind of like going swimming?

I’m all in!

***

“We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

***

See, I knew it!

I’m sure there’s a spot right next to Jesus prepared for a dog.

I’m listening! Do you think I’d know what to say if I wasn’t listening?

***

When the ten heard about this,…

***

The ten and the dog – that’s me.

***

…they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

***

What!? I have to be a servant and a slave?

There must be some other way.

That’s too hard.

***

Jesus continued, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

***

Okay, if Jesus can do it I guess I can too.

Hey person, here’s your slippers.

I did not take them off your feet so I could give them to you!

 
28 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Up the Mountain

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) b...

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) by Raphael, depicting Christ miraculously discoursing with Moses and Elijah. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What? Jesus is making his disciples climb a mountain?

I hope it wasn’t a hot day. I don’t like climbing mountains on hot days.

Oh. He only took three of his disciples? Were the other ones out of shape? I bet that mountain was too high and steep for them and they couldn’t make it.

So who did Jesus take?

I am listening to the story. I’m just trying to help you along.

***

Jesus took Peter, James, and John up the mountain with him.

And when they were alone He was transfigured before them.

***

Did He become all crippled and ugly looking?

Well, isn’t disfigured the same as transfigured?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus face shone like the sun and his clothes became as white as light.

And then Moses and Elijah appeared and they were talking with Jesus.

***

Hey, I thought this was a story about Jesus. How did Moses and Elijah get into it?

I am listening.

***

Peter, James, and John were frightened and didn’t know what to do so Peter said, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters – one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

***

Do you think they could put up a shelter for me too? I bet it’s hot up there on that mountain.

***

While Peter was still speaking a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

***

Now I’m really in trouble. It was bad enough when you were telling me to listen, but now God is.

***

When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified.

***

Were they having trouble listening too?

***

Jesus came and touched the disciples. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The disciples looked around and saw no one except Jesus.

***

Is this like the Twilight Zone or something?

***

As Jesus and the disciples were coming back down the mountain Jesus told them not to tell anyone what they’d seen until Jesus had been raised from the dead.

The disciples weren’t sure what Jesus meant, but they didn’t tell anyone for a long time.

***

This was really a strange story. Jesus didn’t heal anybody, and He didn’t help anyone catch a bunch of fish.

Hey, maybe Moses and Elijah went to get a bunch of fish and they’ll be back with dinner.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Follow the Fish

200px-V&A_-_Raphael,_The_Miraculous_Draught_of_Fishes_(1515)

Hey person, is it true that Jesus went up to people and said “Follow me,” and they followed him? He must have had some pretty good treats with him or something.

What do you mean they left their fish to follow Jesus? How could you leave a good meal to follow anyone?

I’ll try to listen. I’m still thinking about all those fish.

Some of the disciples had been introduced to Jesus when they were hanging out in the wilderness with John the Baptist. John told the disciples that Jesus was the Lamb of God.

They talked with Jesus, but later went back to their homes in Galilee and were busy fishing when Jesus showed up.

Jesus saw Simon, called Peter, and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake. And he said to them, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Fishers of men? If those men rubbed fish oil all over themselves I’d go fish for them. And I’d give them lots of big, slobbery kisses.

I’m listening.

Then Jesus walked a little further and he saw James and John in a boat preparing their nets with their father Zebedee. Jesus called James and John and they left their father with the boat and followed Jesus.

I bet they were just tired of working for their dad and wanted to have a good time.

What do you mean they didn’t always have a good time? All those miracles Jesus did? He even turned a little bit of food into enough to feed thousands of people. I bet those disciples always had all they wanted to eat. And good stuff too. Like fish.

Jesus said what?

Anyone who follows Him must deny himself and take up his cross daily?

What does that mean? Does that mean no treats or extra fish?

Oh. It means I have to go where Jesus wants me to go? I guess that’s not so bad. He hung out a lot with fishermen and sometimes he even helped them catch lots of fish – so I guess if I follow Jesus I’m following the fish.

 

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Net Full of Fish

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of...

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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