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Tag Archives: Abraham

No Treats for Anybody

"Rich man and poor Lazarus" (1865). ...

“Rich man and poor Lazarus” (1865). Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean there are dogs in this Bible story?

Did that man in the last story give them treats?

Oh. He didn’t know them? I thought everyone in the Bible knew each other.

Okay, I’ll listen. I want to hear about the dogs.

***

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day.”

***

Did the rich man hand out treats?

I am listening.

***

“At the rich man’s gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.”

***

That rich man should hand out treats to Lazarus and the dogs.

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“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.”

***

I bet those angels handed out treats.

I’m listening. I just want to know where the treats are. Those dogs are getting hungry.

***

“The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’”

***

They don’t have treats in hell, do they?

***

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’”

***

Wait! Stop! Don’t give those dogs any treats. I don’t want them to go where that rich man is.

What? I’m not in the story. I don’t have to give up my treats.

***

“The rich man answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“’No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

***

I guess Lazarus won’t be bringing those brothers any treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Untied

Jesus healing the crippled womanI’m done with Bible stories. Last week you told me I was going to get into trouble for the mischief that happens around here when you’re not home.

You’ve got to believe me. It’s Scratchy that does it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years.

***

Bring that woman to me. I’ll give that spirit what for.

What do you mean, I can’t give a spirit what for? I bet I can.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The woman was bent over and could not straighten up at all.

***

Maybe I could bark at her and scare her straight. You know, kind of like when you scare the hiccups out of someone.

I am listening.

***

When Jesus saw the woman, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

***

Is that all it took? I could have put my paws on her.

***

Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue ruler said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites!”

***

You tell them, Jesus.

I’m listening. I’m just getting involved in the story.

***

Jesus continued, “Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”

***

That woman was tied up? Did somebody have to take her out on a leash too?

I guess that’s kind of like you, person. I have to take you out on a leash.

***

When Jesus said these things, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.

***

That was really nice of Jesus to untie that woman and let her go on walks without a leash, but I’m not going to let you off your leash, person.

I’m afraid you might wander off.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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