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Leaping Away

10 Mar
Christ cleansing a leper

Christ cleansing a leper by Jean-Marie Melchior Doze, 1864

Wait a minute, person. I’m almost finished with all that fish in the boat.

I had to work really hard to eat all that. It took me two weeks. There were a lot of fish.

Okay, I’m ready for another story now. Maybe about some water so I can wash all those fish down.

What? No water? You’re telling me a story about a man who leapt around all day?

He leaped everywhere and couldn’t stop leaping so he asked Jesus to heal him?

I leap around a lot too, but I don’t want Jesus to heal me. Leaping is fun.

Oh. The man didn’t leap, he had leprosy? What kind of a thing is that? It sounds like leaping to me.

***

The man had a really bad skin disease called leprosy. In Jesus’ day people with this disease had to stay far away from other people and if anyone started coming near to them they had to shout, “Unclean, unclean.”

***

Couldn’t they take a bath so they were clean again?

I’m listening.

***

Their disease was what made them unclean. People were afraid to touch them because they were concerned that they might get the disease too.

This man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

***

Jesus touched him? I thought you said you couldn’t touch those people because you might get that leaping disease.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said, “I am willing. Be clean!”

Immediately the leprosy left the man and he was healed.

***

Could that man still leap if he wanted to?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told the man not to tell anyone, but to show himself to the priest. In those days lepers went to the priest when they were healed and the priest was the one who declared them clean.

But the man leaped around and told everyone what Jesus had done for him. Crowds of people came to have Jesus heal them and Jesus often had to withdraw into lonely places in order to pray.

***

Do you think any of those people who came to be healed brought any fish with them?

I know I ate a lot of fish. But I’m going to need some more tomorrow.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on March 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Busy Day Healing

03 Mar
The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47.

The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, don’t wait for me. I’m still going after the fish Jesus and his disciples left in the boat.

What do you mean, it’s time for another story? That fish story was good enough for me.

He did? Jesus had a busy day in Capernaum? With more miracles?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

On the Sabbath Jesus went to the synagogue in Capernaum and began to teach. And people were amazed at his teaching because he taught with authority.

And while he was teaching, a man possessed by an evil spirit cried out, “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God!”

***

I bet Jesus could just pull out his lightsaber and zap that guy. Doesn’t that evil spirit guy know who Jesus is?

Oh, he does know?

And what do you mean, Jesus doesn’t need a lightsaber? That spoils all the fun.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said sternly, “Be quiet! Come out of him.”

The evil spirit threw the man down before everyone there and came out with a shriek.

***

That’s it? Jesus just says a few words and that evil spirit leaves?

That’s pretty cool, but I still wish he used a lightsaber.

God could rewrite the Bible and add lightsabers to it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus left the synagogue he went with James and John to Simon and Andrew’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever so Jesus went to her, took her hand, and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.

That evening people brought all kinds of sick and demon possessed to Jesus. Jesus laid his hands on each of the sick and healed them, and drove out many demons, but he wouldn’t let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

***

So Jesus could heal with a few words or a touch but he wouldn’t let the demons speak. I wonder what they would do with their words.

If they try to do anything bad I’m going to give them what for.

Okay, I’ll let you finish the story.

***

That night Jesus went to a place by himself to pray and when his disciples found him they all left to go to the nearby villages. They travelled throughout Galilee. Jesus preached the good news of the kingdom, healed every sickness and disease, and drove out demons.

***

That’s it? No lightsabers, no fish, nothing?

I’ll see you later. I’m going back to that boat with all the fish in it.

 
24 Comments

Posted by on March 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Fish Story

24 Feb
Jesus and the miraculous catch of fish, in the...

Jesus and the miraculous catch of fish, in the Sea of Galilee, by Raphael (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is it! This is what I’ve been waiting for.

A fish story!

Jesus got into a fishing boat, so there’s gotta be fish around. Right?

Okay, I’ll listen. But can I have some fish treats to munch on while I’m listening?

People eat popcorn at the movies. Shouldn’t dogs be allowed some treats when they hear stories?

***

Jesus was standing by the Sea of Galilee and people were crowding around him and listening to him teach about the word of God. There were two fishing boats there and the fishermen were nearby washing their nets. So Jesus got into the boat belonging to Simon and asked him to put out a little from shore, and he taught the people from the boat.

***

I wish I had been there. I could have gone swimming right up to that boat. Were there any fish in it?

I am listening.

***

When Jesus had finished speaking he told Simon to put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.

But Simon said they’d been working hard all night and hadn’t caught anything.

***

Oh, so there weren’t any fish in that boat. I’m jumping out and swimming back to shore.

***

Because Jesus had told Simon to let down his nets, he did it. And when they did, they caught so many fish that their nets began to break. They had to signal their partners, James and John, to bring their boat over to help them. They filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

***

Guess I’d better swim back and help those boats out now.

I am listening. What did you think I was doing?

***

Simon Peter fell on his knees and said, “Go away from me Lord; I am a sinful man!” because he and his companions were astonished at all the fish they had caught.

But Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will be fishers of men.”

And they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed Jesus.

***

They left their boats full of fish there? Woo woo! I’m staying with the boats!

 
19 Comments

Posted by on February 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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In His Hometown

17 Feb

Jesus reading Scriptures in the Synagogue at NazarethIt’s pretty cool all those miracles Jesus was doing. I bet he was a hero when he finally went back to his hometown. I bet they were all excited for Jesus to do some miracles for them.

Where was it Jesus was from again?

Oh yeah, Nazareth. They probably knew him pretty well there since that’s where he grew up.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

Jesus went to Nazareth and on the Sabbath day…

***

The what day?

Oh, that’s the day they rested and worshiped God?

I guess every day is a Sabbath day for me – at least about the rest part. Naps are good.

I’m listening.

***

On the Sabbath day Jesus went to the synagogue and he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. He unrolled it and read,

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to release the oppressed,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

***

Jesus left out a part. The part about giving extra fish to all the dogs.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus rolled up the scroll and gave it back. He sat down and everyone was looking at him. Then he said, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

All the people were amazed at what Jesus said, but then they said, “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”

Jesus knew what the people were thinking and he said, “I tell you the truth. No prophet is accepted in his hometown.”

Jesus didn’t perform any big miracles in Nazareth.

***

I guess they didn’t get any extra fish either.

***

The people in the synagogue became furious at Jesus.

***

I guess they were pretty hungry and really wanted some fish.

***

They took him to the brow of the hill the town was built on and intended to throw him off the cliff. But Jesus walked right through the crowd and went on his way.

Then he went to Capernaum and made his new home there.

***

Did the people in Capernaum get some extra fish?

Hey person, you could give me some fish. You wouldn’t want me moving to Capernaum, would you?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on February 17, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Nobleman’s Son

10 Feb
Jesus Christ in Capernaum (study)

Jesus Christ in Capernaum (study) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jesus went back to where? To Cana? Isn’t that where he turned that water into wine?

Oh no, I’m feeling tipsy already. Can’t Jesus just make some fish juice for me?

Yes, I’ll listen. As soon as you start telling the story.

***

There was a nobleman whose son lay sick and near death in Capernaum. When he heard that Jesus had returned to Galilee from Judea he went and begged Jesus to come and heal his son.

***

Did that nobleman bring a fancy car for Jesus to ride in? Or maybe an airplane?

Oh yeah, I remember you told me they didn’t have cars then. You mean they didn’t have airplanes either?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to the man, “Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders you will never believe.”

The nobleman asked Jesus to come before his son died.

***

How long would it take Jesus to walk there?

It was about twenty miles? That’s a long ways. I sure hope that man’s son hangs on. They really should have had an airplane.

I am listening.

***

Jesus told the man that he could go and his son would live. The man took Jesus at his word and left.

***

That man was pretty trusting. How could Jesus know what would happen twenty miles away?

I’ll listen. Just keep telling the story.

***

While the man was still on his way home his servants met him and told him his son was living. When the nobleman asked what time his son got better he learned that it was at the same time that Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” So the nobleman and his entire household believed in Jesus.

***

So if Jesus is performing miracles for all these people do you think he will do one for me? I’m still waiting for some fish.

 
17 Comments

Posted by on February 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Living Water

03 Feb
The Water of Life Discourse between Jesus and ...

The Water of Life Discourse between Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, by Giacomo Franceschini, 17-18th century (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, Jesus isn’t going to make any more wine is he? I think I got a hangover from that last story you told me, when he turned water into wine.

Oh, good. Only water in this story, huh? I drink lots of water, so that’s good. Unless maybe, Jesus wants to make me some fish juice.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

Jesus decided to leave Judea, where he’d been hanging out for awhile, and go back to Galilee.

***

Is that a long way? How did he get there? Did he have a fancy car?

Jesus walked? What do you mean they didn’t have cars then? I thought they always had cars.

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

Jesus had to go through Samaria to get where he was going. The Jews hated the Samaritans so much that most of them would travel the extra distance around Samaria rather than go through it.

***

Jesus must have been in a hurry.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus came to a town called Sychar in Samaria to the place where Jacob’s well was. His disciples went into town to buy food. Jesus, who was tired from the journey, sat down by the well.

A Samaritan woman came to the well to draw water and Jesus asked her if she’d give him a drink. The woman was surprised that Jesus, a Jewish man, would talk to her, a Samaritan and a woman.

And Jesus said to her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

***

Living water? That sounds good. I want some of that.

I am listening. But could you fill my water bowl with living water next time?

***

The woman couldn’t figure out where Jesus could get any kind of water because he had nothing to draw water out of the well with.

***

I could jump in and get that water. Oops, I forgot. I’d be stuck in the well, wouldn’t I?

***

Jesus told the woman that everyone who drinks from the well will be thirsty again, but those who drink from the water Jesus gives them will never thirst. The water from Jesus will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Of course the woman wanted some of that water so she wouldn’t have to come drawing water from the well every day.

So Jesus told her to get her husband and come back, but when the woman said she had no husband Jesus said she was right. He said she’d had five husbands but the man she was with now wasn’t her husband.

***

That woman was busy. I’ve only had two girlfriends.

Can’t I make a comment sometimes?

***

The woman realized Jesus was a prophet when he knew all about her and she asked him some questions and then said that when the Messiah comes he will explain everything.

Jesus said, “I who speak to you am he.”

***

Jesus is the Messiah? I thought he was just someone who made fish and wine.

***

The woman left her water jar right there and ran back to town to tell everybody about Jesus. Many believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, but after they’d talked Jesus into staying two days with them many believed because of Jesus’ words.

***

Hey person, Jesus words are good, but do you think he’ll throw in some fish with that living water?

 
13 Comments

Posted by on February 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The First Miracle

27 Jan
Jesus making wine from water in The Marriage a...

Jesus making wine from water in The Marriage at Cana, a 14th-century fresco from the Visoki Dečani monastery (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, that’s pretty cool that Jesus said, “Follow me” and people followed him. I’ve been trying that all week and I can’t get anyone to follow me. Well, except you that is. Because I hook you to my leash and make you follow me.

I guess Jesus was pretty special. So after he got all those disciples to follow him, what did he do with them?

He took them to a party? No way! I knew there was a reason I wanted to follow Jesus.

Yes, I’ll for sure listen, person. I want to hear about this party.

***

Jesus’ mother was at a wedding in Cana of Galilee and both Jesus and his disciples were invited.

***

If I had been following Jesus back then I could have gone to the party too.

I am listening.

***

While Jesus was at the wedding they ran out of wine.

***

That’s not so bad. I just drink water. They could do that too.

Oh. It was really embarrassing in those days to run out of wine at a wedding? So what did they do?

Jesus mother told Jesus they were out of wine? Why did she do that?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Jesus told his mother his hour had not yet come, but he did what she wanted anyway.

His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.”

There were six stone water pots that each contained twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants to fill them with water and the servants filled them to the brim.

Then Jesus told them to draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.

The master of the feast tasted it and called the bridegroom. He said to the bridegroom, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

This was Jesus’ first miraculous sign and because of it his disciples believed in him.

***

Hey person, do you think maybe next time Jesus could turn the water into fish juice instead? I think I drank too much of that special water. I’m feeling kind of tipsy.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on January 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Getting Around to Jericho

13 Jan
English: The Taking of Jericho, c. 1896-1902, ...

English: The Taking of Jericho, c. 1896-1902, by James Jacques Joseph Tissot (French, 1836-1902) or follower, gouache on board, 7 1/4 x 5 15/16 in. (18.6 x 15.1 cm), at the Jewish Museum, New York (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is it time yet? Is it time?

You know what time. I want to hear how those Israelites gave the city of Jericho what for? You’ve been promising to tell me about it.

I promise. I’ll be quiet and listen.

Those people in Jericho were scared of the Israelites, so they shut their city up tight. Nobody came in and no one went out. And the Lord told Joshua that He had delivered Jericho into their hands.

Are Joshua and the Israelites going to break down the walls and storm in and give them what for?

What do you mean, that’s not what they did?

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord told Joshua to march around the city with all the armed men once a day for six days. The Lord said to have seven priests carry trumpets of rams horns in front of the ark. Then on the seventh day they were to march around the city seven times with the priests blowing the trumpets.

That’s a lot of marching.

I’ll listen, but couldn’t they have just gone in and given them what for? I’ll bet if I was there I could have led them in a big battle.

So the people got up early and marched around the city and went back to their camp. And they did the same thing the next day, and every day for six days.

Is that it? They’re just marching around the city? That sounds boring.

I am listening.

On the seventh day the Israelites got up at daybreak and did the same thing – except they marched around the city seven times. On the seventh time around, when the priests sounded the trumpet blast, Joshua commanded the people, “Shout! For the Lord has given you the city!”

It’s about time.

The trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and the wall collapsed.

That was some shout.

They charged in and took the city.

But Joshua sent in the two men who had spied out the land to get Rahab and her family and they put them in a place outside their camp.

Wasn’t Rahab’s house in one of the walls of the city?

Is that why they had her tie a scarlet cord to her window? So they could grab onto it and keep her wall from falling over? If I was there I could have grabbed that cord in my teeth.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 13, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Crossing the Jordan

06 Jan
English: Israel Enters the Promised Land, as i...

English: Israel Enters the Promised Land, as in Joshua 3:5-17, illustration from a Bible card published between 1896 and 1913 by the Providence Lithograph Company (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, I’m trying to figure something out. Last week you told me a story about those spies who went to Jericho. And then they had to go across the Jordan River to get back to where Joshua and all the Israelites were.

So doesn’t that mean that all the Israelites are on the wrong side of the Jordan River from Jericho? How are they going to get there to give Jericho what for?

I could probably swim across that river. But those Israelites lived in the desert all their lives. I bet most of them couldn’t swim. Dogs just take to swimming naturally, but people aren’t usually that smart.

Person, I didn’t mean you. You must be smart. You tell me all these good stories. So how did they get across that river?

What? The Jordan River was in flood stage right then? Did they have to wait awhile to give Jericho what for? That must have been hard. I bet they were all anxious to go.

I’m listening person. I just don’t see how those Israelites are going to get across that river.

Joshua told the priests to take the Ark of the Covenant and go ahead of the people.

Are they going to float across the river on the ark? What if they float downstream?

Oh. The ark is sacred and they can’t float on it? That makes it even harder to get across.

God told Joshua to tell the priests with the Ark of the Covenant to stand in the river when they reach the water’s edge.

What if they get their feet wet? Isn’t that river moving awfully fast? You said it was at flood stage.

Yes, I’ll listen.

As soon as the priest’s feet touched the water’s edge the water coming from upstream stopped flowing. The water piled up in a heap a long ways away from them. The priests carrying the ark stood in the middle of the Jordan on dry ground while all the Israelites crossed.

When the people had crossed they took twelve stones from the middle of the river where the priests were standing and made an alter to remember the day that God had stopped the river for them. And as soon as the priests came out of the river with the Ark of the Covenant and set their feet on dry ground the river started flowing at flood stage again.

I sure hope nobody forgot something on the other side of that river.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on January 6, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Scarlet Cord

30 Dec
Rahab and the Emissaries of Joshua

Rahab and the Emissaries of Joshua (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.             Joshua 1:9

Hey person, I just got here and there are words already on my blog. I wanted you to tell me a story about Joshua. You know, the guy who took over after Moses died.

Really? God said those words to Joshua when He told him to go take the Promised Land?

Do you think God would say those words to me the next time there’s thunder?

I would too listen to God.

I do too listen to you. Okay, I’m listening now.

Joshua sent two spies across the Jordan River to look over the land. He told them to especially look over Jericho. So the spies went to Jericho and stayed at the house of a prostitute named Rahab.

The king of Jericho heard that the men had come and he sent messengers to tell Rahab to bring them out.

Was that king going to give those men special honor? That’s pretty cool – a king wanted to see them.

I am listening.

Rahab hid the men and told the king’s men that they had gone. She sent the king’s men down the road looking for them.

Rahab was pretty sneaky, wasn’t she?

I’ll listen. I promise.

Rahab talked to the men she had hidden and told them that everyone in the land was afraid of their people because of the things God had done for them. She asked them to spare her life and the lives of her family.

The men agreed that if Rahab didn’t tell anyone what they were doing they would treat her kindly and faithfully. Rahab’s house was part of the city wall, so she let the men out of a window by a rope and told them to go into the hills for three days so they wouldn’t be found.

The men had climbed down on a scarlet cord, and they told Rahab that if she tied it in her window and brought her family into her house they would be spared.

Rahab agreed and sent the men on their way. They hid in the hills for three days, then forded the Jordan River and told Joshua everything that had happened to them.

So what happened next? Did Joshua and the Israelites go give those people in Jericho what for?

What? I have to wait to find out what happens next? Maybe I’ll go to Jericho and huff and puff and blow the walls down.

What do you mean I have the wrong story? I am not a big, bad wolf!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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