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Fish and a Coin

28 Jul

Image from ChristArt

What? Really?

After all this time you’re finally going to tell me another Bible story with fish in it?

Hallelujah!

Did I say that word? What does it mean?

It means Praise the Lord?

Well, hallelujah then. You’d think with all those disciples who are fishermen, that every story would have fish in it.

Okay, I’ll listen. I hope there’s a lot of fish in this story. Some for me and enough for me to share too.

***

Jesus and His disciples went back to Capernaum and the collectors of the two-drachma tax came to Peter and asked, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the temple tax?”

***

Okay, I’m confused. What’s a drachma? Is it some kind of fish?

A coin? Worth about a day’s wages?

What does that have to do with fish?

Could you buy fish with it?

I am listening.

***

Peter assured the tax collectors that Jesus does pay the tax.

When Peter came into the house Jesus spoke first. He asked Peter if he thought the kings of the earth collected taxes from their own sons, or from others.

***

If those kings collected taxes from their own sons, would that be like you making me pay taxes to you?

You’d better not do that. I’m not giving up any of my treats.

***

Peter answered, “From others.”

And Jesus said, “Then the sons are exempt.”

***

Whew! That means I don’t have to give up my treats.

Wait. That means that Jesus doesn’t have to pay tax either since He’s the Son of God and the temple is God’s house.

So Jesus can just walk away from that tax collector, and Peter with him since he’s in God’s family too.

***

Jesus said to Peter, “But so that we may not offend them, go to the lake and throw out your line.”

***

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told Peter to take the first fish he catches and open its mouth. He’ll find a four-drachma coin inside. Jesus said to take that coin and use it to pay both their taxes.

***

A fish and a coin!

I’m in dog heaven. Fish for dinner and money to buy treats for dessert.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible story, Capernaum, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, God, Jesus, Peter, Pets

English: Raising of Jairus’ Daughter by Wassilij Dimitriewitsch Polenow. Stamp of Russia, 2000, a commemorative issue for 2000th Anniversary of the Birth of Jesus Русский: 2000-летие Рождества Христова. Почтовая марка России 2000 года (серия из 4 марок и одного блока). Изображена картина Поленова «Воскрешение дочери Иаира» (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jesus sure has been busy. He calmed a storm and sent a bunch of demons out of a man into a herd of pigs all in one day. I bet he’s going to go home and take a nap now.

What, no nap?

Oh yeah, I forgot. He already took a nap. In the boat while that storm was going on.

So what’s Jesus gonna do now?

***

Jesus went by boat back to the other side of the lake, to Capernaum. When he returned a large crowd welcomed him.

***

I bet that crowd was worried about the pigs that jumped into the water.

What? They didn’t care about those pigs? All that bacon?

Jesus’ people didn’t eat pigs? Well, at least they ate fish.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

While Jesus was by the lake a synagogue ruler named Jairus came and fell at Jesus’ feet. Jairus told Jesus that his little daughter was dying and he pleaded with Jesus to come heal her. So Jesus went with Jairus.

A large crowd followed Jesus and pressed around him, and a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years and had spent all her money on doctors who couldn’t heal her, came up behind Jesus and touched his cloak. She thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”

***

Does Jesus have magic clothes, too?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The woman’s bleeding stopped when she touched Jesus’ cloak and Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

The disciples told Jesus that the crowd was all around him, but Jesus kept looking around.

And the woman came and fell at his feet, and trembling with fear, she told him the truth.

Jesus said to her,”Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

***

So if I have faith that I will get fish, will I get some?

I am listening.

***

While Jesus was still speaking some men came from Jairus’ house and told him his daughter was dead and he didn’t need to bother Jesus any more.

But Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Jesus would only let Peter, James, and John follow him and when they got to the house people were crying and wailing loudly.

***

I bet Jesus would have let me come too. I can wail really well.

I’m listening.

***

Jesus told them to stop wailing and said, “The child is not dead but asleep.”

All the people there laughed at him.

***

I bet if Jesus gave them some fish they’d stop laughing.

***

Jesus took the child’s father and mother and the three disciples with him to where the little girl was. He took her by the hand and said, “My child, get up!”

The little girl immediately stood up and Jesus gave orders not to let anyone know about this and told them to give her something to eat.

***

I bet that little girl isn’t very hungry yet. She’ll probably share some of her food with me.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 2, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Christianity, Daughter of Jairus, faith, healing, Jairus, Jesus, miracles, Pets

Say the Word

28 Apr

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centurion by Paolo Veronese Source: http://www.artst.org/mannerism/veronese/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Jesus having another fish dinner yet?

What do you mean, I’m out of luck? I know Jesus can have fish dinner whenever He wants.

Oh, He healed somebody else? But it was different than before?

I guess I’ll listen. I like miracles.

***

There was a Roman centurion in Capernaum who was highly thought of by the Jews. He loved the nation of Israel and had built a synagogue for them.

***

Did he give treats to the dogs?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

This centurion had a servant whom he valued highly who was sick and about to die. When he heard of Jesus he sent some of the elders of the Jews to Him, asking Him if he would heal the servant. The Jews told Jesus that the man deserved to have Him do this.

Jesus went with the men, but when he was near the house the centurion sent some friends to tell Jesus that he didn’t deserve to have him come under his roof, and that he hadn’t come himself because he didn’t feel worthy to come to Jesus.

***

Jesus could come to my house then.

As long as he brings fish, that is.

I am listening.

***

The centurion told Jesus to say the word, and his servant would be healed.

***

What if Jesus said the word and fish appeared?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was amazed at this centurion and He turned to the crowd following Him and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

The men the centurion had sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

***

Good. Jesus is finished healing. I bet he’s hungry now. I think I’ll go hang around and see if I can get an invite to dinner.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Centurion, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Israel, Jesus, Jews

A Hole in the Roof

07 Apr

You’re what, person? Now that you told me about Jesus being raised from the dead that’s the end of the story, isn’t it?

It isn’t?

But you’re not going to tell it to me now? You mean I don’t get a Bible story this week?

You’re going to what? Tell me about more of Jesus’ miracles from before he died and rose again?

I like miracles.

***

Jesus had been traveling around Galilee and when he returned to his home in Capernaum so many people came that his whole house was full and even outside the door there was no room left.

Jesus preached to all those people.

***

Did he preach about how they could get more fish?

I was just asking.

***

While Jesus was preaching, four men came carrying a paralytic on a mat.

***

A what?

You mean he can’t move? Poor guy. At least that leper that Jesus healed could leap.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The house was so crowded that the men couldn’t get the paralyzed man anywhere near Jesus. So they got up on the roof and made an opening in the roof above Jesus.

After digging through, they lowered the man on his mat into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

***

Wasn’t Jesus mad about the hole in the roof? What if it rained?

I’m listening.

***

Jesus saw the faith of the four men and said to the paralytic, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

***

If I jump through a hole in the roof and land at Jesus’ feet will he forgive my sins? Oh, I forgot. I don’t do anything wrong. It’s always Scratchy.

I am listening.

***

There were some teachers of the law in the crowd who were pretty upset when Jesus forgave the man’s sins because only God can forgive sins. But Jesus knew what they were thinking so He said to them, “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’?”

Then Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.”

The man stood up, took his mat, and went home praising God.

***

Jesus told those teachers of the law a thing or two, didn’t he?

But there’s still one thing I want to know.

Who’s going to fix that hole in the roof?

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 7, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Christianity, dogs, Galilee, healing, Jesus, paralytic, Pets, Sin

A Busy Day Healing

03 Mar

The life of Jesus of Nazareth plate 47. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, don’t wait for me. I’m still going after the fish Jesus and his disciples left in the boat.

What do you mean, it’s time for another story? That fish story was good enough for me.

He did? Jesus had a busy day in Capernaum? With more miracles?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

On the Sabbath Jesus went to the synagogue in Capernaum and began to teach. And people were amazed at his teaching because he taught with authority.

And while he was teaching, a man possessed by an evil spirit cried out, “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God!”

***

I bet Jesus could just pull out his lightsaber and zap that guy. Doesn’t that evil spirit guy know who Jesus is?

Oh, he does know?

And what do you mean, Jesus doesn’t need a lightsaber? That spoils all the fun.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said sternly, “Be quiet! Come out of him.”

The evil spirit threw the man down before everyone there and came out with a shriek.

***

That’s it? Jesus just says a few words and that evil spirit leaves?

That’s pretty cool, but I still wish he used a lightsaber.

God could rewrite the Bible and add lightsabers to it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus left the synagogue he went with James and John to Simon and Andrew’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever so Jesus went to her, took her hand, and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.

That evening people brought all kinds of sick and demon possessed to Jesus. Jesus laid his hands on each of the sick and healed them, and drove out many demons, but he wouldn’t let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

***

So Jesus could heal with a few words or a touch but he wouldn’t let the demons speak. I wonder what they would do with their words.

If they try to do anything bad I’m going to give them what for.

Okay, I’ll let you finish the story.

***

That night Jesus went to a place by himself to pray and when his disciples found him they all left to go to the nearby villages. They travelled throughout Galilee. Jesus preached the good news of the kingdom, healed every sickness and disease, and drove out demons.

***

That’s it? No lightsabers, no fish, nothing?

I’ll see you later. I’m going back to that boat with all the fish in it.

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Capernaum, Christianity, Demon, dogs, Fish, Galilee, God, Lightsaber, Pets

In His Hometown

17 Feb

It’s pretty cool all those miracles Jesus was doing. I bet he was a hero when he finally went back to his hometown. I bet they were all excited for Jesus to do some miracles for them.

Where was it Jesus was from again?

Oh yeah, Nazareth. They probably knew him pretty well there since that’s where he grew up.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

Jesus went to Nazareth and on the Sabbath day…

***

The what day?

Oh, that’s the day they rested and worshiped God?

I guess every day is a Sabbath day for me – at least about the rest part. Naps are good.

I’m listening.

***

On the Sabbath day Jesus went to the synagogue and he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. He unrolled it and read,

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to release the oppressed,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

***

Jesus left out a part. The part about giving extra fish to all the dogs.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus rolled up the scroll and gave it back. He sat down and everyone was looking at him. Then he said, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

All the people were amazed at what Jesus said, but then they said, “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”

Jesus knew what the people were thinking and he said, “I tell you the truth. No prophet is accepted in his hometown.”

Jesus didn’t perform any big miracles in Nazareth.

***

I guess they didn’t get any extra fish either.

***

The people in the synagogue became furious at Jesus.

***

I guess they were pretty hungry and really wanted some fish.

***

They took him to the brow of the hill the town was built on and intended to throw him off the cliff. But Jesus walked right through the crowd and went on his way.

Then he went to Capernaum and made his new home there.

***

Did the people in Capernaum get some extra fish?

Hey person, you could give me some fish. You wouldn’t want me moving to Capernaum, would you?

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 17, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Capernaum, Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Isaiah, Jesus, Nazareth, Pets, Sabbath

The Nobleman’s Son

10 Feb

Jesus Christ in Capernaum (study) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jesus went back to where? To Cana? Isn’t that where he turned that water into wine?

Oh no, I’m feeling tipsy already. Can’t Jesus just make some fish juice for me?

Yes, I’ll listen. As soon as you start telling the story.

***

There was a nobleman whose son lay sick and near death in Capernaum. When he heard that Jesus had returned to Galilee from Judea he went and begged Jesus to come and heal his son.

***

Did that nobleman bring a fancy car for Jesus to ride in? Or maybe an airplane?

Oh yeah, I remember you told me they didn’t have cars then. You mean they didn’t have airplanes either?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to the man, “Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders you will never believe.”

The nobleman asked Jesus to come before his son died.

***

How long would it take Jesus to walk there?

It was about twenty miles? That’s a long ways. I sure hope that man’s son hangs on. They really should have had an airplane.

I am listening.

***

Jesus told the man that he could go and his son would live. The man took Jesus at his word and left.

***

That man was pretty trusting. How could Jesus know what would happen twenty miles away?

I’ll listen. Just keep telling the story.

***

While the man was still on his way home his servants met him and told him his son was living. When the nobleman asked what time his son got better he learned that it was at the same time that Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” So the nobleman and his entire household believed in Jesus.

***

So if Jesus is performing miracles for all these people do you think he will do one for me? I’m still waiting for some fish.

17 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Cana, Capernaum, Christianity, dogs, faith, Galilee, Jesus, Pets, Religion and Spirituality