RSS

Tag Archives: Lord

Praying for Fish

22 Sep

Jesus knocking at the doorHey person, last week when you told me a Bible story Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and Martha was in the kitchen fixing me something to eat while I was taking a nap – I mean, while I was listening intently to Jesus.

But I forgot what Jesus told me.

I was not sleeping – but okay, I’ll listen now.

***

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When He finished one of His disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray, say:

“’Father,

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.

 

***

I don’t think that works for me.

I’m tempted every day – by Scratchy’s food dish.

Yes, I’m listening, but you know if Scratchy ate all his food I wouldn’t have to finish it for him.

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’”

***

I would be the one needing the bread because I always eat everything I can find.

I guess I’d better listen to see how to get those three loaves of bread.

***

“Then the friend inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.’”

***

I wonder if the dog is in bed with them too.

***

“’I can’t get up and give you anything, the friend said.’”

Then Jesus said, “I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is a friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”

***

I’m on my way.

I’ve got to ask that guy for some bread. Maybe he has some fish too.

I don’t want to stay and listen. That guy might give his food to someone else.

Okay.

***

Jesus then said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

***

Does scratching on the door count for knocking?

***

Jesus asked, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

***

I knew God would give me a fish if I asked!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on September 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Nap or Food

15 Sep
Christ with Martha and Maria

Christ with Martha and Maria (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you know that guy the robbers beat up in last week’s story? That one the Samaritan helped?

I think he’s better now so maybe he and the Samaritan can help me go after those robbers. I still want to give them what for.

You’ve got another story? Can you wait until I get back from giving those robbers what for?

Okay, I’ll listen first.

***

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way Jesus came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him.

***

Does Martha have extra room in her house? I want to go there too.

By the way, where is there?

Bethany? That’s not anywhere near here is it?

It’s near Jerusalem? Where’s that?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Martha had a sister named Mary, who sat at Jesus’ feet listening to what He said.

***

That’s where I’d be too.

Taking a nice nap.

I am too listening.

***

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

***

Hey Martha, I’m trying to take a nap here. Can you be quiet?

Okay, I’ll be quiet and listen.

***

“Martha, Martha,” Jesus answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

***

Hey, wait a minute. What do I smell coming from the kitchen? I think I’ll follow Martha in and see. She might have made a pretty good choice too. Food!!!

And if Jesus doesn’t want to eat any of it, I’ll help Martha finish it off.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Seventy Times Seven

11 Aug

Forgiveness wordsI hope this week’s Bible story isn’t as confusing as the last one. I wasn’t sure if you were talking about sheep or puppies.

I’m listening. But please don’t make it confusing.

***

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.”

***

Are you serious? Does that mean I have to forgive you person, for all the times you pull mischief on me?

Of course I’m listening. I’m just trying to multiply that number. You never taught me how to do that. More mischief.

***

Then Jesus told a story. He said, “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

***

That man must have been really talented.

How much is ten thousand talents?

Millions of dollars? No way! I think that king should have cut him off a long time ago.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Since the man was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go..

***

Whew! He was lucky.

***

But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded.

***

I guess a hundred denarii must be way more than ten thousand talents.

What!? It’s only worth about a day’s wages? I guess that guy was pretty demanding.

***

The fellow servant, the one being choked, fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”

But the first servant refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

***

Well, that doesn’t make any sense. How can you pay a debt when you’re in prison?

I am listening.

***

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said. “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailors to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

***

Serves that guy right.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

***

Oops!

Person, I forgive you seventy times seven times for all the mischief you ever did to me.

But if you pull mischief on me again, you’d better watch out.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on August 11, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The Empty Tomb

31 Mar

Paper mache empty tombThat is not the same tomb that I ate a few days ago. That one was made of squishy newspaper and chicken wire.

I would never eat a rock. Who do you think I am, anyway?

This is supposed to be the tomb they buried Jesus in? Why would they bury him in a rock?

Yeah, I guess it would be hard to steal him out of a big, rock tomb when a humongous rock covered the entrance.

But who would want to? Why would anyone want to steal a body?

Jesus what? He told people he would be killed and after three days he would rise again?

So the elders, chief priests and scribes wanted to seal Jesus in so his disciples couldn’t steal his body and say he had risen?

But what if Jesus was telling the truth? Wouldn’t He be stuck inside that big rock tomb? What would He do then?

Okay, I’ll listen to the rest of the story.

***

Jesus died on the cross on a Friday, and on Sunday Mary Magdalene and some of the other women who had followed Him went to His tomb. They found the stone rolled back from the door of the tomb.

***

So Jesus snuck out right through the front door.

I am listening.

***

Mary Magdalene ran to tell Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, that they didn’t know where Jesus’ body had been taken. Peter and John ran to the tomb and only found the linen cloths that Jesus had been buried in. So they left and went back to their homes.

***

Does that mean Jesus had to go and knock on their doors?

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

When Peter and John left, Mary stayed behind weeping. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels in there. The angels asked her why she was weeping and Mary said, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.

After she said this, Mary turned around and saw Jesus, but she thought He was the gardener. She said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”

Mary finally realized this was Jesus and was overjoyed.

***

Did Jesus look for a place to hide after that so he wouldn’t be killed again?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Later, when the disciples were hiding behind locked doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus appeared to them.

***

He went right through the locked door? Does that mean He could have gotten out of that tomb even if the door wasn’t rolled away?

That would make it easy for Him to hide so he wouldn’t be killed again.

***

Jesus won’t be killed again. God raised Him from the dead so that He will have everlasting life. And you can have everlasting life too if you declare Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

***

I’ve just got one question.

Can you make the next empty tomb out of bread please?

 
24 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leaping Away

10 Mar
Christ cleansing a leper

Christ cleansing a leper by Jean-Marie Melchior Doze, 1864

Wait a minute, person. I’m almost finished with all that fish in the boat.

I had to work really hard to eat all that. It took me two weeks. There were a lot of fish.

Okay, I’m ready for another story now. Maybe about some water so I can wash all those fish down.

What? No water? You’re telling me a story about a man who leapt around all day?

He leaped everywhere and couldn’t stop leaping so he asked Jesus to heal him?

I leap around a lot too, but I don’t want Jesus to heal me. Leaping is fun.

Oh. The man didn’t leap, he had leprosy? What kind of a thing is that? It sounds like leaping to me.

***

The man had a really bad skin disease called leprosy. In Jesus’ day people with this disease had to stay far away from other people and if anyone started coming near to them they had to shout, “Unclean, unclean.”

***

Couldn’t they take a bath so they were clean again?

I’m listening.

***

Their disease was what made them unclean. People were afraid to touch them because they were concerned that they might get the disease too.

This man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.

***

Jesus touched him? I thought you said you couldn’t touch those people because you might get that leaping disease.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said, “I am willing. Be clean!”

Immediately the leprosy left the man and he was healed.

***

Could that man still leap if he wanted to?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus told the man not to tell anyone, but to show himself to the priest. In those days lepers went to the priest when they were healed and the priest was the one who declared them clean.

But the man leaped around and told everyone what Jesus had done for him. Crowds of people came to have Jesus heal them and Jesus often had to withdraw into lonely places in order to pray.

***

Do you think any of those people who came to be healed brought any fish with them?

I know I ate a lot of fish. But I’m going to need some more tomorrow.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on March 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Getting Around to Jericho

13 Jan
English: The Taking of Jericho, c. 1896-1902, ...

English: The Taking of Jericho, c. 1896-1902, by James Jacques Joseph Tissot (French, 1836-1902) or follower, gouache on board, 7 1/4 x 5 15/16 in. (18.6 x 15.1 cm), at the Jewish Museum, New York (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is it time yet? Is it time?

You know what time. I want to hear how those Israelites gave the city of Jericho what for? You’ve been promising to tell me about it.

I promise. I’ll be quiet and listen.

Those people in Jericho were scared of the Israelites, so they shut their city up tight. Nobody came in and no one went out. And the Lord told Joshua that He had delivered Jericho into their hands.

Are Joshua and the Israelites going to break down the walls and storm in and give them what for?

What do you mean, that’s not what they did?

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord told Joshua to march around the city with all the armed men once a day for six days. The Lord said to have seven priests carry trumpets of rams horns in front of the ark. Then on the seventh day they were to march around the city seven times with the priests blowing the trumpets.

That’s a lot of marching.

I’ll listen, but couldn’t they have just gone in and given them what for? I’ll bet if I was there I could have led them in a big battle.

So the people got up early and marched around the city and went back to their camp. And they did the same thing the next day, and every day for six days.

Is that it? They’re just marching around the city? That sounds boring.

I am listening.

On the seventh day the Israelites got up at daybreak and did the same thing – except they marched around the city seven times. On the seventh time around, when the priests sounded the trumpet blast, Joshua commanded the people, “Shout! For the Lord has given you the city!”

It’s about time.

The trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and the wall collapsed.

That was some shout.

They charged in and took the city.

But Joshua sent in the two men who had spied out the land to get Rahab and her family and they put them in a place outside their camp.

Wasn’t Rahab’s house in one of the walls of the city?

Is that why they had her tie a scarlet cord to her window? So they could grab onto it and keep her wall from falling over? If I was there I could have grabbed that cord in my teeth.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 13, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Speak or Strike

25 Nov
English: Moses striking the rock

English: Moses striking the rock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites realized they were stuck in the desert for forty years did they finally settle down and do what God said? Maybe they could find a nice oasis and settle down there for awhile.

They complained some more? I guess all that manna was getting to them.

So they complained that there was no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates in the terrible place they were in.

What are they complaining about? I’ve never had a pomegranate.

Yes, I’m listening person.

And then they complained that there was no water to drink.

Hey person, I’m running out of water here. I need my water dish filled up.

No I’m not complaining. And I’m really listening.

Moses and Aaron were getting pretty frustrated with the people but the glory of the Lord appeared to them and He told Moses to take the staff and gather the people together. Then He said to speak to the rock and it will pour out water.

Maybe I can speak to my water dish.

I am listening.

Moses and Aaron gathered the people and Moses was so upset with them that he said, “Listen you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then he struck the rock with his staff and water came pouring out.

Maybe I can push my water dish under that rock.

God was mad at Moses and Aaron? Why? He gave them water didn’t he?

Oh. They didn’t do what He said?

God told Moses to speak to the rock and he struck the rock instead. God told Moses and Aaron that they didn’t trust Him enough to honor Him as holy. And because of it they weren’t going to get to bring Israel into the Promised Land.

Hey person, if I trust God will you fill up my water dish? This story has really made me thirsty.

And then maybe I can lead those Israelites into the Promised Land, since it looks like Moses and Aaron aren’t going to finish the job.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on November 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Swallowed Up

18 Nov
English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram...

English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, by Gustave Doré (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites were chased down the hill by the Amalekites what happened?

They didn’t? No way. Isn’t that kind of like a bully who gets beat on so he turns around to pick on somebody else?

I’m listening.

After the Amalekites chased the Israelites down the hill and the Israelites realized they were stuck in the wilderness for forty years for not trusting God, they decided to turn on Moses and his brother Aaron.

Well, three of them Korah, Dathan, and Abiram turned on Moses and Aaron, and they had 250 other guys with them. They didn’t like that God spoke to Moses and that Aaron was the high priest. They figured they should all have equal access to God and be equal with Moses and Aaron.

Moses told these guys who had turned on him that it was against the Lord they had turned. He summoned Dathan and Abiram but they refused to come and just grumbled that Moses hadn’t brought them into a land flowing with milk and honey.

I’d be complaining if I was left in the desert too. Sand doesn’t taste anything like dog treats.

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord knew that Korah, Dathan, and Abiram had gone too far and He told Moses to tell everyone to move away from their tents. When the people had moved, the ground opened up and swallowed the three rebels along with their tents and all their stuff.

I was looking for a tent for my miracle healings the other day. Maybe I’d better stay away from tents.

I am listening person. You can go on with the story. I’m waiting.

The Lord decided to get rid of the grumbling so He told Moses to collect the staff of a leader from each of the tribes of Israel and write the owner’s name on it. The Lord said that the staff belonging to the man He chose would sprout.

The next day Aaron’s staff had not only sprouted, but had budded, blossomed, and produced almonds too. The Lord told Moses to put Aaron’s staff in front of the tablets with the Ten Commandments on them as a reminder to the rebellious.

Do you think I could get a staff like that? But I don’t think I want mine to come from an almond tree. Do you think I could get one from that bone tree I found?

 

 
11 Comments

Posted by on November 18, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Up the Hill

11 Nov

Israelites Defeated

I bet those Israelites were pretty upset after God told them they would be wandering in the desert for forty years. No treats or anything. No milk and honey. Just manna every day – three times a day – for forty years.

I would eat manna. But treats are good sometimes too.

I am ready to listen, person. I was just waiting for you to begin the story.

So those Israelites made God pretty mad when they wouldn’t trust Him to help them take the Promised Land. They were scared of those giants, and all the fortified cities.

But after God told them they would have to wander in the desert for such a long time they must have thought that that was worse than taking a chance on dying in a battle for the Promised Land.

So they said they had sinned and decided they would go to the place the Lord had promised.

But Moses said they were a day late and a dollar short and God was no longer with them.

I didn’t know they had dollars in the desert?

Yes, I’m listening.

Moses told the people not to go. Because they had turned from the Lord, the Amalekites and Canaanites would face them there and defeat them.

But those Israelites figured they could do it on their own so they went up to the high hill country anyway.

Neither Moses nor the Ark of the Covenant went with them.

Maybe Moses didn’t want to go hill climbing.

I am listening.

So when the Israelites got up in those hills the Canaanites and the Amalekites who lived there came down and attacked them.

And they chased them all the way down the hill.

That was a lot of hill climbing for nothing.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on November 11, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Exploring the Land

04 Nov
English: Moses and the Messengers from Canaan,...

English: Moses and the Messengers from Canaan, by Giovanni Lanfranco, oil on canvas, 85-3/4 x 97 inches, at the J. Paul Getty Museum, Los Angeles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Those Israelites that Moses was leading sure had to hang out in the desert for a long time before God would let them go to the Promised Land.

Really? They finally were almost there? Are they going to march right in and take over?

Oh. They sent some explorers in first, huh? That’s what God told Moses to do? I guess that’s a pretty good idea. Could I go with them? I could wear my explorer hat.

What do you mean, I don’t have an explorer hat?

I wouldn’t run off. Really I wouldn’t.

I’m listening.

Moses sent a leader from each of the twelve tribes of Israel to explore the land. He told them to see what the people were like and what kind of land they lived in. He told them to see if the towns were fortified or not, if the land was good for farming, and if there were trees. And he asked them to bring back some of the fruit of the land.

Could they bring back some dog treats too?

Yes, I’ll listen.

Those men explored the land for forty days and when they came back they brought a branch with a cluster of grapes that was so big it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them.

That’s a lot of grapes. I hope they’ll share some with me.

What do you mean, dogs aren’t supposed to eat grapes? I think they should go back then and get something I can eat. A nice meaty bone maybe.

I’ve been listening all along.

The explorers told Moses that the land truly was a land flowing with milk and honey, but the people were powerful, the cities fortified, and they even saw giants.

Only Caleb and Joshua said that they should go take the land, because those two knew that God was with them and they could do it.

The other ten explorers turned the Israelites against Moses and Aaron and they all grumbled. They were afraid they would all die by the sword and their wives and children would be taken as plunder. They wanted to choose a leader to take them back to Egypt.

The Lord became angry with the people, and Moses had to talk Him out of destroying them and using Moses to start a new nation.

So what happened? Did they go back to Egypt?

They did? They had to hang out in the desert for forty years? Wow! That’s a long time.

No way! God said everyone over twenty except Joshua and Caleb would die in the desert during those forty years? And their children would be the ones to take the land?

Do you think when those children go in there they could get me some treats?

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 4, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

← Older posts