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Tag Archives: Aaron

Speak or Strike

English: Moses striking the rock

English: Moses striking the rock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites realized they were stuck in the desert for forty years did they finally settle down and do what God said? Maybe they could find a nice oasis and settle down there for awhile.

They complained some more? I guess all that manna was getting to them.

So they complained that there was no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates in the terrible place they were in.

What are they complaining about? I’ve never had a pomegranate.

Yes, I’m listening person.

And then they complained that there was no water to drink.

Hey person, I’m running out of water here. I need my water dish filled up.

No I’m not complaining. And I’m really listening.

Moses and Aaron were getting pretty frustrated with the people but the glory of the Lord appeared to them and He told Moses to take the staff and gather the people together. Then He said to speak to the rock and it will pour out water.

Maybe I can speak to my water dish.

I am listening.

Moses and Aaron gathered the people and Moses was so upset with them that he said, “Listen you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then he struck the rock with his staff and water came pouring out.

Maybe I can push my water dish under that rock.

God was mad at Moses and Aaron? Why? He gave them water didn’t he?

Oh. They didn’t do what He said?

God told Moses to speak to the rock and he struck the rock instead. God told Moses and Aaron that they didn’t trust Him enough to honor Him as holy. And because of it they weren’t going to get to bring Israel into the Promised Land.

Hey person, if I trust God will you fill up my water dish? This story has really made me thirsty.

And then maybe I can lead those Israelites into the Promised Land, since it looks like Moses and Aaron aren’t going to finish the job.

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18 Comments

Posted by on November 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Swallowed Up

English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram...

English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, by Gustave Doré (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites were chased down the hill by the Amalekites what happened?

They didn’t? No way. Isn’t that kind of like a bully who gets beat on so he turns around to pick on somebody else?

I’m listening.

After the Amalekites chased the Israelites down the hill and the Israelites realized they were stuck in the wilderness for forty years for not trusting God, they decided to turn on Moses and his brother Aaron.

Well, three of them Korah, Dathan, and Abiram turned on Moses and Aaron, and they had 250 other guys with them. They didn’t like that God spoke to Moses and that Aaron was the high priest. They figured they should all have equal access to God and be equal with Moses and Aaron.

Moses told these guys who had turned on him that it was against the Lord they had turned. He summoned Dathan and Abiram but they refused to come and just grumbled that Moses hadn’t brought them into a land flowing with milk and honey.

I’d be complaining if I was left in the desert too. Sand doesn’t taste anything like dog treats.

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord knew that Korah, Dathan, and Abiram had gone too far and He told Moses to tell everyone to move away from their tents. When the people had moved, the ground opened up and swallowed the three rebels along with their tents and all their stuff.

I was looking for a tent for my miracle healings the other day. Maybe I’d better stay away from tents.

I am listening person. You can go on with the story. I’m waiting.

The Lord decided to get rid of the grumbling so He told Moses to collect the staff of a leader from each of the tribes of Israel and write the owner’s name on it. The Lord said that the staff belonging to the man He chose would sprout.

The next day Aaron’s staff had not only sprouted, but had budded, blossomed, and produced almonds too. The Lord told Moses to put Aaron’s staff in front of the tablets with the Ten Commandments on them as a reminder to the rebellious.

Do you think I could get a staff like that? But I don’t think I want mine to come from an almond tree. Do you think I could get one from that bone tree I found?

 

 
11 Comments

Posted by on November 18, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Sibling Rivalry

English: Miriam and Aaron complain against Mos...

English: Miriam and Aaron complain against Moses, engraving from “The Bible and Its Story Taught by One Thousand Picture Lessons, vol. 2”, edited by Charles F. Horne and Julius A. Bewer, published by Francis R. Niglutsch, New York, 1908. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I thought Moses and his brother and sister were all grown up. You mean grownups make fun of each other too?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

Moses’ sister Miriam and his brother Aaron talked bad about Moses because he had married a Cushite woman.

Were they jealous of her? I bet they were.

I’m listening. Really.

God heard Miriam and Aaron talk bad about Moses and He said to them, “Come out to the Tent of Meeting, all three of you.”

Oh, oh. They’re in trouble now.

The Lord came down in a pillar of cloud and said to Aaron and Miriam that normally He reveals Himself to a prophet in visions and dreams. But Moses is faithful and He speaks to him face to face and clearly, rather than in riddles.

Oh. That wife thing was just an excuse, wasn’t it? I’d be jealous if God talked more to my brother too.

Then God asked Miriam and Aaron why they weren’t afraid to speak against His faithful servant Moses.

Oops. I guess they were told.

Yes, I’m still listening.

The Lord was mad at Miriam and Aaron and when He left the Tent Miriam was leprous. Aaron felt bad and asked Moses not to hold their sin against them.

So Moses cried out to the Lord and asked Him to heal Miriam.

I guess the Lord wanted to teach Miriam a lesson first because He told Moses to put her in time out outside the camp for seven days and then she could be brought back.

That’s a long time out.

So all the people stayed where they were while Miriam was in time out, and then they went to the Desert of Paran.

What do you mean, what lesson did I learn from that?

Well, those Israelites were all kind of in time out since they had to stay where they were while Miriam was in time out. So I guess if you want to get everyone in trouble with you, just talk bad about your brother.

Hey person, have you seen what Scratchy’s doing? He’s up to no good for sure.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on October 28, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Golden Calf

The Adoration of the Golden Calf'

The Adoration of the Golden Calf’ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Moses was hanging out on Mt. Sinai talking to God for a very long time and the Israelites got tired of waiting for him to come down.

I think I’d get tired too, person. Patience is not my middle name.

Okay, I’m listening.

So the Israelites went to Moses’ brother Aaron and told him to make gods that would go before them.

Can Aaron do that?

Okay, I’ll listen.

Aaron told the people to give him all their gold earrings and he took the gold and made it into an idol in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool.

You’d think he’d at least make it look like a dog.

Of course I’m listening. I just think they need a few more dogs in this story.

The next day the people sacrificed burnt offerings to that golden calf – it really needs to be a dog – and then they had a big party.

I hope the dogs got the leftovers from the party at least.

I’m listening.

God knew what the people were doing and He told Moses to leave Him alone so He could destroy them. But Moses talked God out of it saying that the Egyptians would say that God just brought the people out of Egypt so He could kill them.

So Moses went down the mountain with the two tablets that had the Ten Commandments on them. But when he saw the calf and the people dancing he threw the tablets down and they broke into pieces at the foot of the mountain.

Then he burned the calf, ground it into powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it.

That must have been some odd tasting steak.

When Moses asked Aaron what the people did to him that caused him to lead them to do something so bad, Aaron said the people didn’t know what happened to Moses and told him to make gods to go before them. So he asked for their gold and threw it into the fire and the calf came out.

See, I told you Aaron should have made a dog. If he didn’t have that calf Aaron and the Israelites wouldn’t have gotten into trouble.

 
24 Comments

Posted by on October 7, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Back on His Word Again

A bunch of frogsIt’s about time! You mean God is finally going to give Pharaoh what for? I can’t wait to hear what He does.

Does God lock Pharaoh in the lion’s den – or throw him in the fiery furnace?

Oh. Those were different stories? Okay, I’ll listen.

God told Moses to wait on the bank of the Nile River to meet Pharaoh when he goes out to the water, and to bring the staff that turned into a snake. And then God told Moses to have Aaron take the staff and stretch out his hand over the waters of Egypt and all the water would turn to blood.

Moses told Pharaoh that God said to let his people go. Pharaoh wouldn’t do it so they turned the water into blood and the fish in the Nile died and the river smelled bad.

Hey person. I think somebody got that part of the story wrong. I bet that river smelled really good. Can we go check it out?

It happened a long time ago? Oh yeah, I forgot. I am listening, person.

The Egyptian magicians were able to do the same thing by their secret arts so Pharaoh’s heart became hard and he went into his palace.

Now what, person?

I’m listening – really.

About a week later God told Moses and Aaron to go back to Pharaoh and if he still wouldn’t listen God would plague the country with frogs. The frogs would get into the palace and on their beds, and in their ovens and where they kneaded their bread. The frogs would be everywhere.

But the magicians were able to make frogs come too. Pharaoh told Moses to pray for the Lord to take the frogs away and he would let his people go. So Moses asked Pharaoh to set the time and that’s when the frogs all died. They made big stinky piles of dead frogs…

Excuse me, person. Those piles of frogs probably had a nice smell. You know, dog perfume.

Okay, I’ll listen.

When Pharaoh saw that the frogs were gone he hardened his heart again and wouldn’t let the people go.

So this time God told Aaron to stretch out his staff and strike the dust of the ground. When he did that all the dust became gnats.

We have gnats here sometimes. They’re nasty little critters.

I’m listening.

The magicians couldn’t produce any gnats by their secret arts and told Pharaoh that this is the finger of God.

It’s about time. Is Pharaoh going to let the Israelites go now?

What!? Pharaoh’s heart was still hard and he wouldn’t listen? I don’t believe it!

So what now?

God had Moses tell Pharaoh that he was sending swarms of flies, but that there would be no flies in the part of the land where the Israelites lived. When flies swarmed into Pharaoh’s palace, and into the houses of his officials, and ruined the land, Pharaoh told Moses that he would let his people go if Moses would get rid of the flies.

Moses prayed to God and all the flies left.

And they finally got to go?

Hey, wait a minute! You mean to tell me Pharaoh went back on his word again? This is terrible. Next time God should leave those flies there.

I’ll be right back, person. I think I hear a fly buzzing in the kitchen. I’ve got to go catch it and send it to Pharaoh.

 
37 Comments

Posted by on August 12, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Too Many Snakes

English: Moses and Aaron Appear before Pharaoh...

English: Moses and Aaron Appear before Pharaoh (Ex. 6:26-30, 7:1-10) Русский: Моисей и Аарон перед фараоном (Исх. 6:26-30, 7:1-10) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So person, a whole week ago Pharaoh was being even meaner to the Israelites, and they were mad at Moses and Moses was mad at God. So is God finally going to give Pharaoh what for, or not?

God told Moses what? That He would redeem Israel with an outstretched arm and mighty acts of judgment? Okay God, bring it on. Give that mean old Pharaoh what for!

I’m listening to the story, person. Can’t I help cheer God on?

God told Moses to tell the Israelites that He would take them out of Egypt and bring them to the land that He had promised to their fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But the Israelites wouldn’t listen to Moses because of their discouragement and cruel bondage.

Then God told Moses to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. But Moses said if the Israelites wouldn’t listen to him then why would Pharaoh listen.

Why doesn’t God just come down and give Pharaoh what for?

I’m listening person, but I really want to see God zap Pharaoh.

Well God convinced Moses and his brother Aaron to go talk to Pharaoh, and said to them that when Pharaoh tells them to perform a miracle that Aaron should throw his staff down and it will become a snake.

Was that like the snake that was in our driveway awhile back?

I’m listening.

Aaron threw his staff down and it became a snake, but the Egyptian magicians turned their staffs into snakes too.

Yikes, that’s a lot of snakes.

What? Aaron’s snake swallowed up all the other snakes? So there was only one snake?

So did Pharaoh let the Israelites go?

What! He didn’t? His heart was hard and he wouldn’t listen? That’s not fair.

I don’t think Pharaoh is very scared of snakes. So when is God really going to give Pharaoh what for? He sure is taking His time.

I bet Pharaoh would be scared of my snake. Can we go outside now? I need to see if that snake came back to our driveway so I can send it over to Pharaoh.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 5, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Off to Egypt

Moses and Aaron before Pharaoh (painting by Be...

Moses and Aaron before Pharaoh (painting by Benjamin West) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, I’ve had to wait a whole week to find out if Moses left his sheep and his sheep dogs and went to Egypt. So are you going to tell me? I’m still waiting.

He did go? I thought so. God was pretty insistent. But what about the sheep?

The Bible doesn’t say anything about the sheep? Why not? Okay I’ll listen to the story.

Moses took his wife and sons and put them on a donkey and headed back to Egypt. At least they took a donkey with them.

Yes, I’m listening person.

The Lord told Moses’ brother Aaron to go into the desert to meet Moses, so that Aaron could help Moses when he went to face Pharoah.

When Moses and Aaron got to Egypt they met with the elders of the Israelites who were very happy to hear that the Lord was concerned about them.

Then Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh.

Did they give him what for?

I am listening.

They told Pharaoh that the Lord, the God of Israel says, “Let my people go, that they may hold a festival to me in the desert.”

Did Pharaoh let them go?

He what!?

Not only did Pharaoh say no, he made things harder on the Israelites. He told his slave drivers and foremen to stop giving the Israelites straw for making bricks, but to require them to make the same number of bricks as before.

So now the Israelites had to find their own straw and still make the same number of bricks. And they weren’t very happy with Moses and Aaron.

Moses went to God and he wasn’t very happy with God. It seemed to him that God had sent him to cause more trouble for the Israelites and God hadn’t rescued them at all.

So is God going to help Moses give Pharaoh what for, or not?

What do you mean, I’ve got to wait another week? How long is this story anyway? Do you think maybe you could get God to move a little faster?

 
24 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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