Does God lock Pharaoh in the lion’s den – or throw him in the fiery furnace?
Oh. Those were different stories? Okay, I’ll listen.
God told Moses to wait on the bank of the Nile River to meet Pharaoh when he goes out to the water, and to bring the staff that turned into a snake. And then God told Moses to have Aaron take the staff and stretch out his hand over the waters of Egypt and all the water would turn to blood.
Moses told Pharaoh that God said to let his people go. Pharaoh wouldn’t do it so they turned the water into blood and the fish in the Nile died and the river smelled bad.
Hey person. I think somebody got that part of the story wrong. I bet that river smelled really good. Can we go check it out?
It happened a long time ago? Oh yeah, I forgot. I am listening, person.
The Egyptian magicians were able to do the same thing by their secret arts so Pharaoh’s heart became hard and he went into his palace.
Now what, person?
I’m listening – really.
About a week later God told Moses and Aaron to go back to Pharaoh and if he still wouldn’t listen God would plague the country with frogs. The frogs would get into the palace and on their beds, and in their ovens and where they kneaded their bread. The frogs would be everywhere.
But the magicians were able to make frogs come too. Pharaoh told Moses to pray for the Lord to take the frogs away and he would let his people go. So Moses asked Pharaoh to set the time and that’s when the frogs all died. They made big stinky piles of dead frogs…
Excuse me, person. Those piles of frogs probably had a nice smell. You know, dog perfume.
Okay, I’ll listen.
When Pharaoh saw that the frogs were gone he hardened his heart again and wouldn’t let the people go.
So this time God told Aaron to stretch out his staff and strike the dust of the ground. When he did that all the dust became gnats.
We have gnats here sometimes. They’re nasty little critters.
The magicians couldn’t produce any gnats by their secret arts and told Pharaoh that this is the finger of God.
It’s about time. Is Pharaoh going to let the Israelites go now?
What!? Pharaoh’s heart was still hard and he wouldn’t listen? I don’t believe it!
So what now?
God had Moses tell Pharaoh that he was sending swarms of flies, but that there would be no flies in the part of the land where the Israelites lived. When flies swarmed into Pharaoh’s palace, and into the houses of his officials, and ruined the land, Pharaoh told Moses that he would let his people go if Moses would get rid of the flies.
Moses prayed to God and all the flies left.
And they finally got to go?
Hey, wait a minute! You mean to tell me Pharaoh went back on his word again? This is terrible. Next time God should leave those flies there.
I’ll be right back, person. I think I hear a fly buzzing in the kitchen. I’ve got to go catch it and send it to Pharaoh.