Moses was hanging out on Mt. Sinai talking to God for a very long time and the Israelites got tired of waiting for him to come down.
I think I’d get tired too, person. Patience is not my middle name.
Okay, I’m listening.
So the Israelites went to Moses’ brother Aaron and told him to make gods that would go before them.
Can Aaron do that?
Okay, I’ll listen.
Aaron told the people to give him all their gold earrings and he took the gold and made it into an idol in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool.
You’d think he’d at least make it look like a dog.
Of course I’m listening. I just think they need a few more dogs in this story.
The next day the people sacrificed burnt offerings to that golden calf – it really needs to be a dog – and then they had a big party.
I hope the dogs got the leftovers from the party at least.
God knew what the people were doing and He told Moses to leave Him alone so He could destroy them. But Moses talked God out of it saying that the Egyptians would say that God just brought the people out of Egypt so He could kill them.
So Moses went down the mountain with the two tablets that had the Ten Commandments on them. But when he saw the calf and the people dancing he threw the tablets down and they broke into pieces at the foot of the mountain.
Then he burned the calf, ground it into powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it.
That must have been some odd tasting steak.
When Moses asked Aaron what the people did to him that caused him to lead them to do something so bad, Aaron said the people didn’t know what happened to Moses and told him to make gods to go before them. So he asked for their gold and threw it into the fire and the calf came out.
See, I told you Aaron should have made a dog. If he didn’t have that calf Aaron and the Israelites wouldn’t have gotten into trouble.