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The Burning Bush

22 Jul
English: Moses and the Burning Bush, illustrat...

English: Moses and the Burning Bush, illustration from the 1890 Holman Bible (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What, person? You mean after Moses ran off to the desert and got married he got to tend sheep too? How cool is that? That means he must have had sheep dogs to hang out with. He must have been pretty happy there.

Okay person, I’m listening now.

After about forty years of hanging out with the sheep and those sheep dogs – wow, that’s a long time. That’s longer than how old I am.

Yes, I’m listening person.

Moses was near Mount Horeb and he saw something strange.

What did he see? What did he see?

What? If I listen I’ll find out? Oh.

He saw a bush burning, but it wasn’t burning up.

How could that be?

So Moses went over to check that bush out.

Then what happened?

What? God called to Moses from within the bush?

You mean God was in the bush and He didn’t burn up either? He must be pretty special.

God told Moses to take off his sandals because he was standing on holy ground. He told Moses He was the God of his father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and Moses hid his face because he was afraid to look at God.

God told Moses He had seen the oppression of His people in Egypt and He was sending Moses to Pharaoh to bring His people the Israelites out of Egypt.

Did Moses finally get to go give that mean old Pharaoh what for?

What? That mean old Pharaoh that wanted Moses dead had died? Moses had to give a different Pharaoh what for?

Moses didn’t want to go? I wouldn’t want to go either if I had sheep and sheep dogs to hang out with all the time.

Moses didn’t think he was worthy but God said He would be with him. So Moses kept making excuses why he wasn’t good enough to go to Pharaoh, but God didn’t buy any of it.

It sounds like God wouldn’t take no for an answer. Kind of like you person, when you want me to do something that I don’t want to do. So did Moses leave his sheep dogs and go to Egypt?

What!? You’re going to make me wait another whole week before you tell me more? I’m heading out to my trails then. Maybe I’ll find a sheep dog who knows the rest of the story.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on July 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Floating on the Nile

08 Jul
English: Baby Moses rescued from the Nile

English: Baby Moses rescued from the Nile (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wait a minute person. You mean there’s another baby in the Bible that’s important besides baby Jesus. How can babies be so important? They’re not even big enough to give me loves yet.

Okay, I’ll listen. But this better be good.

My person says a long time ago all the Israelites lived in Egypt and there were lots of them. There was a new king (Pharaoh) in Egypt who was afraid that if war broke out the Israelites would join with Egypt’s enemies, fight against Egypt, and leave the country. So Pharaoh put slave masters over them and made them work really hard.

I hope they got lots of treats for working hard.

My person says they didn’t get any extra treats, but they kept growing in number.

They really need extra treats now.

I am listening, person.

That king must have been really mean because he told the midwives – the what? He told the ladies that help women when they have their babies to kill all the boy babies but let the girl babies live. But the midwives feared God and wouldn’t do it.

So then that mean old king told the Egyptians to throw all the Israelite’s boy babies into the Nile River.

That’s really bad. Boy babies grow up into boys who like to play catch with me. What if there were no boys to play catch with?

Yes, I’m listening person.

One Israelite mother hid her baby for three months so he wouldn’t get thrown into the Nile. But when she couldn’t hide him any more she put him in a basket, coated it with tar and pitch, and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile. The baby’s sister watched at a distance to see what would happen.

Pharaoh’s daughter found the baby and she felt sorry for him because when she opened the basket he was crying. Then the baby’s sister came and offered to get someone to nurse the baby for her – and she went and got her own mother to do it.

When the baby was older he went to live with Pharaoh’s daughter and became her son. Pharaoh’s daughter named her son Moses.

Hey, wait a minute. You mean that mean old king who wanted all the boy babies killed became Moses’ grandfather?

I bet Moses gave him what for when he got bigger.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on July 8, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Depend on God

01 Jul

Depend on God dog craftCheck this craft out that my person is doing with her Sunday school kids. Isn’t it cool? I think they should do this craft every week. It’s the best craft ever.

D.O.G. stands for me and it also stands for Depend On God. Hey person, since I’m a dog does that mean I depend on God all the time? If I depend on God will He give me one of those big bones like the dog in the craft has?

I can depend on God for a big bone.

What? I’m supposed to what?

Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be listening to a Bible story now.

They had battles in the Bible? Are they exciting?

Oh, I get it. When people depended on God He helped them win the battles. Did they give their dogs big juicy bones when they won?

Okay, I’ll listen.

King Asa was a king of Judah who depended on God. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and commanded Judah to seek the Lord. They had peace in the land and were able to build up and fortify their cities and towns, and to prosper.

King Asa had an army of three hundred thousand men and they all had large shields and spears.

That sounds pretty scary. I bet no one could beat them.

What happened? Zerah the Cushite marched out against them with an even bigger army and three hundred chariots? Oh no!

Asa must have been pretty brave because he went out to meet that big old army and took up battle positions.

What’s going to happen, person?

I am listening.

Asa called out to the Lord his God and asked for help against that big army. And you know what?

The Lord struck down those mean old Cushites and they ran away. And Asa and his army chased them and got lots of plunder.

What’s plunder? Is that like big, juicy bones?

I’m hungry now, person.

They did what? They attacked the herdsmen’s camps and carried off sheep, goats, and camels.

Wow! I bet they needed lots of shepherd dogs to help bring those sheep back. It’s a good thing they got all those juicy bones.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on July 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Seeds, Treats, and the Word

24 Jun

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Landscape with the Parable of the Sower, 1557. Image via Wikipedia

Hey person, are you going to tell me one of those Pair a Bulls again so I can make up a new story to go with it?

Woo woo! Which one are you going to tell me?

I am listening. And I’m sitting too.

My person says that Jesus told a story to a large crowd about a farmer who went out to sow his seed.

Did that farmer put seeds in his sewing machine? Wouldn’t that mess it up?

I’m listening, but…

As the farmer scattered the seed some fell along the path, was trampled on, and the birds ate it.

Oh, I get it now. He didn’t even have a sewing machine.

Yes, I’m listening.

Some of the seed fell on rock and the plants withered because they had no moisture.

All of the plants are withering around here this summer.

Okay, I’ll be quiet.

Some seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants.

Yikes!

Other seed fell on good soil. It grew and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.

Wow! That’s a big crop.

Is that it? That’s the end of the story?

What? You mean the disciples didn’t even know what the story meant? Jesus had to tell them? What did he say?

The seed is the word of God? Really?

So those along the path heard the word, and then the devil came and took it away from their hearts so they wouldn’t believe and be saved.

Oops! What else?

The ones on the rock receive the word with joy, but they have no root. So they believe for awhile but when a time of testing comes they fall away.

What about the thorns?

Those hear the word but they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they don’t mature.

Am I mature, person? I am, aren’t I?

Okay, what’s the last one?

The seed on the good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

That’s got to be me. I could grow carrots. I like carrots. Maybe beans.

Is it my turn now, person? Do I get to make up a story?

Okay, here goes. A person took her dog out to play and tossed some treats to him. But the person was a lousy shot.

The first treat landed way past where the dog was. A crafty coyote ate the treat before the dog could get to it.

The next treat fell in the road and a car ran over it and smashed it to smithereens.

Another treat fell in the middle of a prickly pear cactus and the dog couldn’t get it because there were too many pricklers in the way.

But the person finally learned how to throw right and the dog caught the next treat, and got so many more treats after that that he shared the treats with his friends.

Hey person, that made me hungry. Can you get me a treat? Just make sure you aim right when you toss it to me.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on June 24, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Modern Day Pair a Bulls

10 Jun
The Good Samaritan by Rembrandt (1630) shows t...

The Good Samaritan by Rembrandt (1630) shows the Good Samaritan making arrangements with the innkeeper.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What person, you mean Jesus told lots of stories? I like to tell stories. Does that make me like Jesus?

He told what? Para what? Parables? What would Jesus want two bulls for? At least he’s telling stories about animals.

A parable is a what? A story that teaches something? What would it teach?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says one of Jesus’ most famous parables is about the Good Samaritan. Jesus told this story because he was discussing the most important commandments and the second most important is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey person, I love my neighbor. I love everyone who gives me loves.

I’m listening, person.

Someone asked Jesus who his neighbor was, so Jesus told this story. But my person says he told stories about things that the people of his day could relate to that we might not know about today. She promised she would explain them to me. You better, person.

My person says a man was traveling when robbers attacked and beat him and left him on the side of the road half dead.

A priest came by and saw the man and passed by on the other side of the road.

Then a Levite came by, saw the man and passed by on the other side as well.

Hey person, what’s a Levite?

It is? My person said that Levites were people that worked for God in the temple. I thought people like that would want to stop and help.

Okay, I’m listening – but I don’t get that priest and that Levite, leaving that poor man there. What’s going to happen to him?

He did? A Samaritan came by? What’s a Samaritan?

The Jewish people that Jesus was telling the story to hated Samaritans? They wouldn’t have anything to do with them? Oh no, that poor man is really in trouble. If the priest and Levite won’t stop I bet that Samaritan is going to go running by?

He did? That Samaritan stopped to help? And he even took the poor man to an inn and paid for him to stay there until he was better?

So I guess that Samaritan was the best neighbor, wasn’t he?

But person, if Jesus told a story that people of his time would understand, maybe we should change the story so people today will understand it better.

Okay, here goes.

A dog was walking along a trail and coyotes came and attacked it and left it half dead.

A guide dog came by, sniffed at the dog and walked on.

Then a service dog came by and did the same thing.

But a pit bull came by, licked the dog’s wounds, and found the dog’s collar that had ended up in the bushes. The pit bull got his person to take the dog to the vet, and gave the collar to the vet so they could contact the hurt dog’s person.

Do you think that story will make more sense? I even put a pit bull in with the pair a bulls.

 

 
20 Comments

Posted by on June 10, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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In the Den

03 Jun
English: Daniel's Answer to the King

English: Daniel’s Answer to the King (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person started telling me about that Daniel guy again – you know, the one who likes to eat vegetables, but I told her that if there wasn’t any meat in this story, and maybe some animals too, I didn’t want anything to do with it.

And you know what my person said? She said Daniel was the meat in this story and there are animals in the story too. I guess I have to let her tell me the story now.

When Darius was king of Babylon he had three governors over the land and Daniel was one of them. But Daniel did so well that King Darius thought about putting him over everything. The other people in charge didn’t like this at all so they tried to find something Daniel was doing wrong, but they couldn’t.

Hey person, this story isn’t going so well. Where’s the meat and the animals? I don’t have much patience person. You’d better get to it quick or I’m leaving the room. Talk fast.

The other governors and people in charge figured the only way they could find fault with Daniel was through the law of his God, so they tricked King Darius into signing a decree that said for the next 30 days no one could petition any god or man except the king, and if they did they would be thrown into the lion’s den.

Lions? There are lions in this story?

Okay person, you can keep going.

Daniel knew about the decree, but he went and knelt down and prayed to his God like he always did.

The men who had talked King Darius into signing the decree went and told on Daniel. King Darius was very upset because he liked Daniel, but the law of the land said that once a decree had been signed it couldn’t be changed, even by the king.

So Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den.

Now I get it. Daniel really was the meat. Hey person, I might not like that Daniel only eats vegetables but that doesn’t mean that I want him to be eaten by lions.

Okay, I’ll keep listening. But please don’t put all the scary details in. I’m kind of starting to like Daniel.

When they threw Daniel into the lion’s den the king said to him, “Your God, whom you serve continually, He will deliver you.”

The king couldn’t sleep all night and early in the morning he went to the lion’s den and called out to Daniel, asking if his God had been able to deliver him from the lions.

Daniel told the king that God had sent an angel to shut the lion’s mouths so they wouldn’t hurt him, because Daniel had done no wrong before God or before the king.

The king was very happy and declared that the God of Daniel is the living God.

Hey person, I bet those were friendly lions and they just cuddled up with Daniel all night.

They were what? They were so hungry that they started gobbling their next meal before it hit the bottom of the den?

I’m sure glad an angel doesn’t shut my mouth.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on June 3, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Writing on the Wall

27 May
Belshazzar's Feast depicts a vision described ...

Belshazzar’s Feast depicts a vision described in the biblical Book of Daniel. –31&src= Daniel 5:1–31 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean this Bible story started with a party? I didn’t know they had parties in the Bible?

It was a king who was having the party? I thought kings were too busy to have parties. I want a party. Can I have a dog party? I could invite all my dog blogging friends and all my trail dog friends over for a big party.

I am listening, person. I can listen and have a party too.

When King Belshazzar was king of Babylon he gave a big party and dogs weren’t invited. I’m not very happy about that.

Okay person, I’ll pay attention to the story.

King Belshazzar had the gold and silver goblets that had been taken from the temple in Jerusalem brought in, and everybody at the party drank wine from them. While they were drinking they praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood and stone. Why didn’t they praise the gods of dogs?

Okay person, I’ll listen.

While they were having this big party and praising all those gods, the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the wall. The king got so scared his face turned pale, his knees knocked together, and his legs gave way. He promised great reward for anyone who could read the writing and tell him what it meant, but no one could.

Then the queen told the king that Daniel could tell him what the writing meant, so the king called for Daniel. Is this the same Daniel who ate all those vegetables? Maybe he’ll give me all the meat that he’s not eating.

Person, I can think about meat now. The story’s on pause while they wait for Daniel to get there. I guess he didn’t eat meat or go to parties.

When Daniel got there he gave that king what for and told him he had set himself against the Lord of heaven because everyone had drunk from the goblets of his temple and praised gods which cannot see, hear, or understand.

Daniel said God sent the hand that wrote on the wall, and the message said that God has brought King Belshazzar’s reign to an end and given it to the Medes and the Persians, because God was not happy with the king.

That very night King Belshazzar was killed and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom.

Hey person, I guess I don’t need a dog party after all.

 
21 Comments

Posted by on May 27, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Blazing Furnace

20 May

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and ? in the blazing furnaceHey person, you aren’t going to tell me another story about that vegetarian guy are you?

Yeah, Daniel. That’s the one.

You’re not? You’re going to tell me about his friends? Did they eat meat?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

My person says that King Nebuchadnezzar …Did King Nebuchadnezzar eat meat?

I’m listening.

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold that was ninety feet high and nine feet wide. Wow, that’s big.

Then the king summoned all his government officials and told them that whenever they heard music playing they had to fall down and worship the image of gold. And if they didn’t worship they would be thrown into a blazing furnace.

Daniel’s three friends who came to Babylon with Daniel and ate vegetables with him – I knew it! – wouldn’t fall down and worship the image and some astrologers told on them.

I bet they were so hungry for meat that they would have worshiped it if it was a giant steak.

Yes, I’m listening.

King Nebuchadnezzar was very angry and he gave Daniel’s friends one last chance to worship. He told them if they refused to worship they would be thrown immediately into the blazing furnace. Ouch!

I hope Daniel’s friends are going to worship. That furnace would be hot.

They didn’t? They told King Nebuchadnezzar what?

They told King Nebuchadnezzar that God could save them and even if He didn’t they would not serve his gods or worship the image he had set up.

King Nebuchadnezzar was furious and he had the furnace heated up seven times hotter than usual. He had Daniel’s friends tied up and thrown into the furnace, but the furnace was so hot that it killed the soldiers that took them up there.

Daniel’s three friends fell into the furnace, but King Nebuchadnezzar saw four men walking around in there untied and unharmed. He said that the fourth looked like a son of the gods. He approached the opening of the furnace and told Daniel’s friends to come out. When they did they weren’t burned at all and they didn’t even smell like fire.

King Nebuchadnezzar was so impressed he wouldn’t let anyone say anything against God and he promoted Daniel’s friends.

Hey person, they should have thrown some meat in that blazing furnace. They could have had a tasty meal while they were in there.

Related articles
 
23 Comments

Posted by on May 20, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Meat or Vegetables?

13 May
Daniel refusing the King's Food

Daniel refusing the King’s Food (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person told me about someone in the Bible that I haven’t heard of before, but what he did doesn’t make sense to me. I think he’s crazy.

Person, I wouldn’t have done what Daniel did. It makes it hard to tell the story.

Okay, I’ll tell it the way you said it happened.

Daniel lived in Jerusalem at a time when Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon came and besieged it. Hey person, what does besieged mean? I be seeing it? Did King Nebuchadnezzar come to see Jerusalem?

Okay, I’ll just tell the story.

King Nebuchadnezzar ordered the chief of his court officials to bring some Israelites from the royal family and the nobility back to Babylon with him. He was supposed to pick young men who were smart and handsome. Some of those he picked were Daniel and three of his friends.

They had to what? My person says they had to walk over 500 miles to get to Babylon. I like walks but I don’t think I’d want to walk that far. Why didn’t they just get in a car, person?

Okay, I’ll tell the story. This is the part I don’t get. The king offered Daniel and his friends all kinds of good stuff to eat. Lots of meat and stuff. Mmmm. Yummy!

And you know what Daniel did? He turned it down. Now that just doesn’t make sense to me.

My person says Daniel probably didn’t want the king’s food because some of it had been offered to idols, and it hadn’t been prepared the way God told the Israelites to prepare their food.

Daniel asked the chief official if he and his friends could have permission not to eat that food, but the chief official said he was afraid of the king, and the king had assigned the food to them. So Daniel made a deal with the chief official. He asked for him and his friends to be given nothing but vegetables and water for ten days, and then to compare their appearance with that of the young men who ate the royal food.

And this is the really sad part. At the end of ten days Daniel and his friends looked healthier and better nourished than the other young men, so they were allowed to honor God by eating vegetables instead of that really good food.

Person, I don’t like this story at all. I think you’re trying to turn everyone into vegetarians. No way am I giving up all the yummy stuff.

 
30 Comments

Posted by on May 13, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Jump the Fence

29 Apr
The Liberation of St Peter. Museo Nazionale di...

The Liberation of St Peter. Museo Nazionale di Capodimonte, Naples. Regarded as Battistello’s masterpiece, it vividly captures the emotion of the scene as Peter is led from prison by an angel. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t get it person. Do you mean to tell me that Peter, that guy who tried to walk to Jesus on the water, and told Jesus he loved him, got arrested and put in prison? Why would anyone put Peter in prison? Who did it? I want to give them what for.

That mean old King Herod did it? I’m for sure going to give him what for. He’s really nasty. Didn’t he want to kill Jesus when he was a baby?

What? Now I’m totally confused. That wasn’t the same King Herod? That other King Herod was this King Herod’s grandfather? So grandson Herod was a meanie like his grandfather and put Peter in prison.

Is being in prison kind of like being locked in a tiny fenced yard with no way to jump the fence?

What? It was worse? Peter was chained between two soldiers and there were guards making sure he didn’t jump the fence?

What’s the good part? That sounds pretty bad to me.

The church offered constant prayer to God for Peter? What good will that do? Will prayer help Peter jump the fence? He’d have to drag those two guards with him. I can’t even drag you over the fence when you grab hold of me.

Well, my person says that prayer did do some good because when Peter was sleeping an angel of the Lord stood by him and a light shone in the prison. The angel woke Peter up and told him to get up quickly. And you know what? Those chains fell off Peter’s hands.

Then that angel told Peter to get dressed and follow him. Peter thought he was seeing a vision and that the angel wasn’t real, but he followed him anyway. They went past two guard posts and came to the iron gate that leads to the city. And that gate opened all by itself. I wish the gate in my yard would open by itself.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

They went down a street and the angel left. Peter finally realized that everything that had happened was real and he was free.

Hey person, if it was those prayers from the church that sent the angel to free Peter, do you think you could pray that an angel would come let me out so I can run free. I’ll come back when I’m tired. I promise.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on April 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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