A manly dog needs something to lift his leg against. A bush, a tree, a fire hydrant – it doesn’t really matter what it is, but he’s gotta have something. My back yard used to have some plants growing in it that weren’t quite bushes, but I could pretend. They were close enough to being bushes that I could do my business on them and feel good about it. But my person cut them down and took them away.
You know what I have left? Yucca plants. You know what a yucca is? It’s a bush shaped thing full of pointy things that are a cross between a leaf and a spear. Every time I get near one of those yucca plants I get poked. I move a little bit, and get poked again. When you gotta go now it’s a real challenge to find a position where you can lift your leg without getting poked. It usually takes at least three or four tries. Ouch! I hope my person brings back those bushes.