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Tag Archives: Saul

Sneaking Out

28 Sep

So last week we left Saul eating and not leaving anything for me.

He’s going to get fat.

He isn’t?

Oh. He goes on lots of walks?

Well, how come he doesn’t take me on a walk?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.

***

Saul sure did a turn around after Jesus zapped him with that light, didn’t he?

I am listening.

***

All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on his name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ.

***

Maybe Saul should come here. There’s lots of people here who need proof that Jesus is the Christ.

***

After many days had gone by, the Jews conspired to kill him,…

***

Oh no! I’d better warn him.

Oh wait. Saul isn’t leaving any food for me.

I’ll make him a deal.

I’ll warn him if he leaves me some food.

I am listening.

***

…but Saul learned of their plan.

***

And he didn’t give me any food for telling him.

***

Day and night the Jews kept close watch on the city gates in order to kill Saul. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall.

***

Did you say that Saul was a basket case?

In that case he probably forgot where he put all his food.

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 28, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: basket, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jesus, Pets, Saul

A Scary Sight

21 Sep

There’s more to the story about Saul?

I liked it where we left him last week – blind and not eating.

Can’t we just leave him there forever?

I mean, he’s a real meanie.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called him in a vision. “Ananias!”

***

I bet the Lord is warning him about Saul.

He already knows about him?

He’d better start running.

I am listening.

***

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

***

Oh no!

I think Ananias is in trouble.

***

“Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priest to arrest all who call on your name.”

***

I don’t get it.

If Ananias knows all that, how come he didn’t start running a long time ago?

***

But the Lord said to Ananias “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

***

Now the Lord’s talking.

Make that mean old Saul suffer.

***

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord – Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here – has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

***

This isn’t good.

If Saul is going to start eating again that’s less food for me.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 21, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Ananias, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jesus, Pets, Saul

It’s Saul’s Turn

14 Sep

Wait a minute!

You told me that story about Philip who popped in and out and then went on his way preaching the gospel.

I guess God helped Philip pop far enough away from Saul that he didn’t have to worry about him.

Hey, what about that mean old Saul, anyway?

I thought you said someone was going to take care of him.

What?

You’re going to tell me about that right now?

Okay, I’m all ears.

***

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples.

***

I’ll breathe out murderous threats on you Saul.

I’ll listen, but who’s gonna take care of Saul?

It might have to be me.

***

Saul went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem.

***

Okay, I’m going after him.

Oh, wait. Did you say Saul was going to Damascus?

Isn’t that in Syria?

I might not have to take care of Saul.

Maybe he’ll run into ISIS.

I am listening.

***

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

***

Wait a minute.

Did I just hear that right?

I don’t have to do anything to Saul, and ISIS won’t get a chance – because Jesus took care of him?

And when Saul was persecuting Jesus’ followers he was really persecuting Jesus?

That means ISIS is in trouble.

***

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

***

That serves Saul right.

And if he’s not eating that’s extra treats for me.

Thank you Jesus.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 14, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Damascus, dogs, faith, Jesus, Saul

Dragging Them Off

03 Aug

Hey person, I’m still fuming from last week’s story.

I’m sad that Stephen was killed and I’m so mad at Saul because he let that happen.

Saul could have stopped it and he didn’t.

If I ever find him, I’m going to grab his clothes in my teeth and play tug-of-war with them.

You know how strong I am from when I play tug-of-war with you – except I don’t do it with your clothes.

I might get in trouble if I did that, huh?

Okay I’ll listen to the story, but if I get mad again I’m covering up my ears.

***

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

***

This is not good.

I think I’ll cover my ears now.

Okay, I’ll listen a little bit longer.

But if it’s bad I’m covering my ears.

***

Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.

***

Okay, that’s it.

Saul and I have a date for a game of tug-of-war and I’m dragging him off.

And then I’m covering my ears.

***

Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went.

***

Hey wait a minute.

Isn’t that what Saul was trying to stop?

***

Philip went down to a city in Samaria and proclaimed the Christ there. When the crowd heard Philip and saw the miraculous signs he did, they all paid close attention to what he said.

***

Do you think Philip could do a miracle to get rid of Saul?

He won’t have to?

Why not?

Oh, I get it.

Someone else is going to take care of Saul.

Maybe even me.

Okay, I won’t cover my ears.

***

With shrieks, evil spirits came out of many,…

***

You make me leave my ears uncovered and then I hear shrieks.

Okay, I’m listening.

***

…and many paralytics and cripples were healed. So there was great joy in that city.

***

Hey, Saul was kind of the cause of the great joy coming to that city.

I bet that makes him mad.

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on August 3, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, Pets, Philip, Saul, Stephen

Where’s the Rescue?

20 Jul

I’ve been waiting all week to find out what happened to Stephen after he was arrested.

The angels rescued him, right?

What do you mean, I have to listen to find out?

They did rescue him, didn’t they?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Last week Stephen was seized and brought before the Sanhedrin and false witnesses were brought against him.

The high priest asked Stephen if these charges were true and Stephen gave them a speech, sharing Israel’s history and how it pointed to Jesus.

Then Stephen said, “You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him – you who have received the law that was put into effect through angels but have not obeyed it.”

***

I think Stephen might have made them mad.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him.

***

That sounds like something a dog would do.

***

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.

“Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

***

Is Jesus going to send down some fish?

That would prove that Stephen saw him.

I am too listening.

***

At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him.

***

This doesn’t sound good.

Run Stephen, run!

***

Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”

Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

***

What do you mean, Stephen wasn’t taking a nap?

***

And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.

***

If I ever see Saul, I’ll be gnashing my teeth.

Hey, do you think Saul had something to do with those tadpoles that disappeared a couple days ago on my trails?

6 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 20, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, Jesus, Pets, Saul, Stephen, stoning

He’s Coming!

22 Apr

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus as painted by Michelangelo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person says that around the time that Jesus was crucified there was a person living in Jerusalem named Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and he believed that the people who followed Jesus were going against God.

Hey person, what’s a Pharisee? Is that something like a fairy with good eye sight?

A Pharisee was a what? A religious leader? Wasn’t Jesus a religious leader? How come Saul thought Jesus’ followers were going against God?

Most of the Pharisees didn’t think Jesus was the messiah? Then they didn’t have very good eye sight at all. Maybe they should change their name to the Phariblinds.

Okay person, I’m listening.

My person said that Saul stood by and approved the stoning of Stephen, one of Jesus’ disciples, and then he wanted to go after all of Jesus’ followers in Damascus.

I hope somebody warns those disciples that Saul is coming.

They what? They were warned, but they didn’t need to be? I don’t get it.

Jesus took care of everything? He did? Did he send dogs on ahead to bark a warning?

Okay, I’m listening. Really.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus a light from heaven flashed around him and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul asked who it was and Jesus said it was him. Then Jesus told Saul to get up and go into the city and he would be told what he must do.

Saul got up and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t see anything. See, I told you he was a Phariblind.

The men with him had to lead him by hand into Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.

Then the Lord came to a disciple named Ananias in a vision and told him to go where Saul was staying and restore his sight. Ananias knew who Saul was and why he had come to Damascus, so he protested.

I guess that dog must have barked his warning to Ananias.

I am listening, person.

The Lord told Ananias that Saul was his chosen instrument so Ananias went and restored his sight, and something like scales fell off Saul’s eyes.

Does that mean Saul wasn’t a Phariblind anymore?

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

Tags: Ananias, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jerusalem, Jesus, Pets, Pharisee, Saul

No Missing Sheep

04 Mar

Hey person, when are you going to tell me the story about those other sheep that David met?

Really? You’re finally going to tell me? So what happened to David’s sheep?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says King Saul kept chasing David, so David couldn’t go back home and see his sheep. But he went to a place where there were some other sheep. The sheep belonged to a rich man named Nabal who owned a thousand goats and three thousand sheep.

While David and his men were at this place they kept watch over the shepherds and the sheep and made sure nothing of theirs was missing. Don’t forget the sheep dogs, person. I’m sure they watched the sheep dogs too.

Okay person, I’ll listen. Just don’t forget the sheep dogs next time.

David heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. This was always a festive time and since David and his men had helped Nabal’s shepherds, David sent ten of his men to Nabal to greet and bless him and ask for anything he could spare.

Did Nabal give David a sheep so he wouldn’t miss his own sheep so much? Maybe a sheep dog too?

He was? He did what? Listen to this. My person says Nabal was a mean man and not only did he not give David’s men anything – he insulted David as well. I’d give him what for, person.

All right! My person says that’s exactly what David intended to do. He told his men to put on their swords and go after Nabal and his men. About four hundred men went with David and he left two hundred men with the supplies.

What happened next, person? Did they get him?

No way! My person says that even though Nabal was a mean man he had a wife named Abigail who was beautiful and intelligent. One of the servants told her what had happened and she quickly loaded up a bunch of food onto donkeys and headed out to meet David. When she found him she talked him out of going after Nabal and asked David to leave everything up to the Lord, and David praised the Lord for stopping him from doing what he had planned to do.

When Abigail returned home that mean old Nabal was having a party and had gotten drunk so she waited until the next morning to tell him what had happened. When she told him his heart failed and he became like a stone. About ten days later the Lord struck him and he died. Serves him right.

When David heard that Nabal had died he praised the Lord for doing that and keeping him from doing it himself. Then, you know what David did? He asked Abigail to marry him. And she did.

Hey person, you know sometimes when I get mad at someone and I want to give them what for? Well, even if God gives them what for, I still want to give them what for too.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 4, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Abigail, Bible, David, dogs, faith, Lord, Nabal, Pets, Saul, Sheep