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Not His Sheep

sheepHey person, I’ve been really good all week. I didn’t dig up any seeds, but no trees have grown for me to leave messages on.

Maybe some other dog dug up that mustard seed that Jesus planted when I wasn’t looking.

You’ve got a new story to tell me?

But I’m still waiting for that mustard seed to grow.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem had come and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. The Jews gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.”

***

They could have just read the Bible to find out.

I am listening.

***

Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep.”

***

Jesus has sheep? I didn’t know He was a shepherd. I thought He was a carpenter.

I’m listening, but I just want to know where the sheep come in.

***

Jesus continued, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

***

Okay, so Jesus’ Father got tired of being a carpenter and became a shepherd and then He gave the sheep to Jesus and went back to being a carpenter. I’m all confused.

What? Jesus had two fathers? I give up.

***

The Jews picked up stones to stone Jesus, but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?”

***

Oh, now I get it. I think. There’s the miracle Father and the carpenter father. But how come Jesus got so lucky to have two fathers?

If I listen will this make sense?

***

“We are not stoning you for any of these,” replied the Jews, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

***

This story is really confusing. First there’s an extra father, and then the Jews want Jesus to tell them something and when He does they want to stone Him.

I don’t think I’d be telling the truth if it meant someone was going to stone me.

***

Jesus answered the Jews, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are gods’? If he called them ‘gods,’ to whom the word of God came – and the Scripture cannot be broken – what about the one whom the Father set apart as His very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, ‘I am God’s Son’? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”

***

That’s too many big words for me. I think I’ll just go chase the sheep.

***

Again they tried to seize Jesus, but He escaped their grasp.

***

Hey Jesus, wait for me! I think I found one of your sheep.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Who is my Neighbor?

Good SamaritanWhat are you telling me person? Someone gave Jesus a test?

Did He pass with flying colors, or did He just get a B or a C?

I’ll listen, but first I want to know what grade Jesus got?

***

An expert in the law stood up to test Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus asked the man what is written in the Law and the man answered “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

***

Wait a minute. Who did you say was giving the test?

I’m listening.

***

Then the man asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

***

If I’m his neighbor then he has to give me loves – and treats.

***

Jesus replied by telling a story.

***

I thought this already was a story.

***

Jesus said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.”

***

Can you hold the story, person? I’ve got to go after those robbers and give them what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.”

***

Did anybody tell those people that they’re walking on the wrong side of the road? Somebody might come and run them over.

***

“But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came to where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.”

***

Weren’t the Samaritans those people that everybody hated?

Yeah, I thought so.

***

“The Samaritan went to the man and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.”

***

I could have licked that man’s wounds. I bet that would have felt better than the wine.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Then the Samaritan put the man on his donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’”

Then Jesus asked, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

***

I don’t think I’m ever going to give Jesus a test. He didn’t even take it – but he sure gave that other guy a test.

***

The expert in the law replied to Jesus, “The one who had mercy on him was the neighbor.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

***

Can I go now? I’ve still got to give those robbers what for.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on September 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Still Looking for the Fish

Jesus healing at the Pool of Bethesda

Another feast!? Jesus is going to a feast?

I hope I get invited. There’s good food at those feasts.

What do you mean, this story isn’t about the feast? What else could be better than a feast?

Oh. Another miracle, huh? You mean like when Jesus fed all those people?

What do you mean, those weren’t the only miracles Jesus did?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When Jesus was in Jerusalem for a feast he stopped by a pool called Bethesda. A great number of disabled people hung out there. An angel went down at a certain time and stirred up the water and whoever stepped in first after that was healed.

***

That sounds like a good place to go swimming.

What do you mean dogs probably weren’t allowed in that pool?

I am listening.

***

One of the people at the pool had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus saw him lying there and learned he’d been in that condition for a long time and he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid told Jesus that he had no one to help him into the pool, so when the water was stirred someone always beat him into it.

Jesus said to the man, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

The man was immediately made well and he picked up his mat and walked.

***

I bet that man was so happy he ran out and got some fish. And he had so much he shared it with me.

I am not totally focused on fish. Any kind of food will do.

I am listening, but I just had to throw in that fish part.

***

The Jews saw the healed man carrying his mat and they gave him what for because it was the Sabbath and it was against the law to carry a mat on the Sabbath.

But it was one of the laws that people had added to God’s laws.

***

So if people make a law we shouldn’t have to follow it? Like I shouldn’t have to be on a leash?

What do you mean that’s not the same?

***

Jesus was making a point because so many things had been added to the Sabbath that it was impossible to follow them.

But because Jesus was healing on the Sabbath the Jews persecuted him.

***

Does that mean Jesus can’t feed everybody on the Sabbath? I’d better hang out with him on the other days of the week.

 

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 21, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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He’s Coming!

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus...

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus as painted by Michelangelo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person says that around the time that Jesus was crucified there was a person living in Jerusalem named Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and he believed that the people who followed Jesus were going against God.

Hey person, what’s a Pharisee? Is that something like a fairy with good eye sight?

A Pharisee was a what? A religious leader? Wasn’t Jesus a religious leader? How come Saul thought Jesus’ followers were going against God?

Most of the Pharisees didn’t think Jesus was the messiah? Then they didn’t have very good eye sight at all. Maybe they should change their name to the Phariblinds.

Okay person, I’m listening.

My person said that Saul stood by and approved the stoning of Stephen, one of Jesus’ disciples, and then he wanted to go after all of Jesus’ followers in Damascus.

I hope somebody warns those disciples that Saul is coming.

They what? They were warned, but they didn’t need to be? I don’t get it.

Jesus took care of everything? He did? Did he send dogs on ahead to bark a warning?

Okay, I’m listening. Really.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus a light from heaven flashed around him and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul asked who it was and Jesus said it was him. Then Jesus told Saul to get up and go into the city and he would be told what he must do.

Saul got up and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t see anything. See, I told you he was a Phariblind.

The men with him had to lead him by hand into Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.

Then the Lord came to a disciple named Ananias in a vision and told him to go where Saul was staying and restore his sight. Ananias knew who Saul was and why he had come to Damascus, so he protested.

I guess that dog must have barked his warning to Ananias.

I am listening, person.

The Lord told Ananias that Saul was his chosen instrument so Ananias went and restored his sight, and something like scales fell off Saul’s eyes.

Does that mean Saul wasn’t a Phariblind anymore?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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Who’s Talking?

Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey

What kind of day is it today, person? What’s a Palm Sunday? Is that when you give me loves all day with the palm of your hand?

Well, what is it then?

He did? Jesus rode on a donkey? Hey, there’s an animal in this story. I think I’m going to like it. Does this donkey talk like Balaam’s donkey?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says Jesus came riding into Jerusalem on a donkey and the people were happy to see him because of the miracles he had done. They spread their cloaks and branches on the road before Jesus and they took palm branches and went out to meet him.

Oh, now I get it. That’s why it’s called Palm Sunday because of the palm branches. What’s a palm branch, person? I don’t think I’ve seen one of those.

Why do they grow in Phoenix, but not here? Can we go to Phoenix so I can see palm branches?

Okay, I’m listening.

When Jesus and the donkey came by the people shouted, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

Some of the Pharisees (the guys who didn’t like Jesus because he gave them what for) told Jesus to tell his disciples to be quiet. You know what Jesus said? He said, “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

You mean the donkey doesn’t talk, but the stones do?

 
23 Comments

Posted by on April 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Magi

The Magi Journeying

My person says that there are a lot of Nativity scenes that show the wise men bringing gifts to the baby Jesus. She says that these wise men were probably not there at all that first night when Jesus was lying in a manger.

These wise men, called Magi, were probably astrologers. Because they studied the stars they would recognize a new star when it appeared in the sky. They knew what the star meant and came to worship the baby Jesus who was born king of the Jews. The Magi came from the east – maybe from an area which is currently in modern day Iraq.

Okay person, we have Magi and a star – but where are the animals? I’m ready to leave.

My person said to hold on. “Sigh.” She said these Magi were probably rich considering the gifts they brought along for the baby Jesus. They could most likely afford camels for their travels. Well, camels are much bigger than me, but I guess they are still animals.

Those Magi came to Israel riding on their camels and didn’t know exactly where to find Jesus, so they went to King Herod in Jerusalem. King Herod had no clue where to find Jesus, but he was very upset to hear about another king. I guess I might feel the same way if another dog took over my house.

So King Herod had to ask the chief priests and teachers of the law where the Christ was to be born. They told him the prophet Micah had said that the Christ would be born in Bethlehem.

That sneaky King Herod found out from the Magi just when the star had appeared and told them that after they found the Christ child to let him know so he could go worship him.

The Magi went on their way and the star went ahead of them and stopped over the house where Mary and Jesus were. They bowed down and worshipped Jesus and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Wow Jesus, you got some pretty awesome gifts – but did they give you any chew toys or treats?

 
38 Comments

Posted by on January 8, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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