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Category Archives: Dogology

Modern Day Pair a Bulls

The Good Samaritan by Rembrandt (1630) shows the Good Samaritan making arrangements with the innkeeper. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What person, you mean Jesus told lots of stories? I like to tell stories. Does that make me like Jesus?

He told what? Para what? Parables? What would Jesus want two bulls for? At least he’s telling stories about animals.

A parable is a what? A story that teaches something? What would it teach?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says one of Jesus’ most famous parables is about the Good Samaritan. Jesus told this story because he was discussing the most important commandments and the second most important is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey person, I love my neighbor. I love everyone who gives me loves.

I’m listening, person.

Someone asked Jesus who his neighbor was, so Jesus told this story. But my person says he told stories about things that the people of his day could relate to that we might not know about today. She promised she would explain them to me. You better, person.

My person says a man was traveling when robbers attacked and beat him and left him on the side of the road half dead.

A priest came by and saw the man and passed by on the other side of the road.

Then a Levite came by, saw the man and passed by on the other side as well.

Hey person, what’s a Levite?

It is? My person said that Levites were people that worked for God in the temple. I thought people like that would want to stop and help.

Okay, I’m listening – but I don’t get that priest and that Levite, leaving that poor man there. What’s going to happen to him?

He did? A Samaritan came by? What’s a Samaritan?

The Jewish people that Jesus was telling the story to hated Samaritans? They wouldn’t have anything to do with them? Oh no, that poor man is really in trouble. If the priest and Levite won’t stop I bet that Samaritan is going to go running by?

He did? That Samaritan stopped to help? And he even took the poor man to an inn and paid for him to stay there until he was better?

So I guess that Samaritan was the best neighbor, wasn’t he?

But person, if Jesus told a story that people of his time would understand, maybe we should change the story so people today will understand it better.

Okay, here goes.

A dog was walking along a trail and coyotes came and attacked it and left it half dead.

A guide dog came by, sniffed at the dog and walked on.

Then a service dog came by and did the same thing.

But a pit bull came by, licked the dog’s wounds, and found the dog’s collar that had ended up in the bushes. The pit bull got his person to take the dog to the vet, and gave the collar to the vet so they could contact the hurt dog’s person.

Do you think that story will make more sense? I even put a pit bull in with the pair a bulls.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 10, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Levite, Parable of the Good Samaritan, Pets, Samaritan

In the Den

03 Jun

English: Daniel’s Answer to the King (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person started telling me about that Daniel guy again – you know, the one who likes to eat vegetables, but I told her that if there wasn’t any meat in this story, and maybe some animals too, I didn’t want anything to do with it.

And you know what my person said? She said Daniel was the meat in this story and there are animals in the story too. I guess I have to let her tell me the story now.

When Darius was king of Babylon he had three governors over the land and Daniel was one of them. But Daniel did so well that King Darius thought about putting him over everything. The other people in charge didn’t like this at all so they tried to find something Daniel was doing wrong, but they couldn’t.

Hey person, this story isn’t going so well. Where’s the meat and the animals? I don’t have much patience person. You’d better get to it quick or I’m leaving the room. Talk fast.

The other governors and people in charge figured the only way they could find fault with Daniel was through the law of his God, so they tricked King Darius into signing a decree that said for the next 30 days no one could petition any god or man except the king, and if they did they would be thrown into the lion’s den.

Lions? There are lions in this story?

Okay person, you can keep going.

Daniel knew about the decree, but he went and knelt down and prayed to his God like he always did.

The men who had talked King Darius into signing the decree went and told on Daniel. King Darius was very upset because he liked Daniel, but the law of the land said that once a decree had been signed it couldn’t be changed, even by the king.

So Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den.

Now I get it. Daniel really was the meat. Hey person, I might not like that Daniel only eats vegetables but that doesn’t mean that I want him to be eaten by lions.

Okay, I’ll keep listening. But please don’t put all the scary details in. I’m kind of starting to like Daniel.

When they threw Daniel into the lion’s den the king said to him, “Your God, whom you serve continually, He will deliver you.”

The king couldn’t sleep all night and early in the morning he went to the lion’s den and called out to Daniel, asking if his God had been able to deliver him from the lions.

Daniel told the king that God had sent an angel to shut the lion’s mouths so they wouldn’t hurt him, because Daniel had done no wrong before God or before the king.

The king was very happy and declared that the God of Daniel is the living God.

Hey person, I bet those were friendly lions and they just cuddled up with Daniel all night.

They were what? They were so hungry that they started gobbling their next meal before it hit the bottom of the den?

I’m sure glad an angel doesn’t shut my mouth.

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 3, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Daniel, Daniel in the lions' den, dogs, faith, God, King Darius, Lion, Pets

The Writing on the Wall

27 May

Belshazzar’s Feast depicts a vision described in the biblical Book of Daniel. –31&src= Daniel 5:1–31 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean this Bible story started with a party? I didn’t know they had parties in the Bible?

It was a king who was having the party? I thought kings were too busy to have parties. I want a party. Can I have a dog party? I could invite all my dog blogging friends and all my trail dog friends over for a big party.

I am listening, person. I can listen and have a party too.

When King Belshazzar was king of Babylon he gave a big party and dogs weren’t invited. I’m not very happy about that.

Okay person, I’ll pay attention to the story.

King Belshazzar had the gold and silver goblets that had been taken from the temple in Jerusalem brought in, and everybody at the party drank wine from them. While they were drinking they praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood and stone. Why didn’t they praise the gods of dogs?

Okay person, I’ll listen.

While they were having this big party and praising all those gods, the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the wall. The king got so scared his face turned pale, his knees knocked together, and his legs gave way. He promised great reward for anyone who could read the writing and tell him what it meant, but no one could.

Then the queen told the king that Daniel could tell him what the writing meant, so the king called for Daniel. Is this the same Daniel who ate all those vegetables? Maybe he’ll give me all the meat that he’s not eating.

Person, I can think about meat now. The story’s on pause while they wait for Daniel to get there. I guess he didn’t eat meat or go to parties.

When Daniel got there he gave that king what for and told him he had set himself against the Lord of heaven because everyone had drunk from the goblets of his temple and praised gods which cannot see, hear, or understand.

Daniel said God sent the hand that wrote on the wall, and the message said that God has brought King Belshazzar’s reign to an end and given it to the Medes and the Persians, because God was not happy with the king.

That very night King Belshazzar was killed and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom.

Hey person, I guess I don’t need a dog party after all.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 27, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Christianity, Daniel, dogs, faith, God, King Belshazzar

Blazing Furnace

20 May

Hey person, you aren’t going to tell me another story about that vegetarian guy are you?

Yeah, Daniel. That’s the one.

You’re not? You’re going to tell me about his friends? Did they eat meat?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

My person says that King Nebuchadnezzar …Did King Nebuchadnezzar eat meat?

I’m listening.

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold that was ninety feet high and nine feet wide. Wow, that’s big.

Then the king summoned all his government officials and told them that whenever they heard music playing they had to fall down and worship the image of gold. And if they didn’t worship they would be thrown into a blazing furnace.

Daniel’s three friends who came to Babylon with Daniel and ate vegetables with him – I knew it! – wouldn’t fall down and worship the image and some astrologers told on them.

I bet they were so hungry for meat that they would have worshiped it if it was a giant steak.

Yes, I’m listening.

King Nebuchadnezzar was very angry and he gave Daniel’s friends one last chance to worship. He told them if they refused to worship they would be thrown immediately into the blazing furnace. Ouch!

I hope Daniel’s friends are going to worship. That furnace would be hot.

They didn’t? They told King Nebuchadnezzar what?

They told King Nebuchadnezzar that God could save them and even if He didn’t they would not serve his gods or worship the image he had set up.

King Nebuchadnezzar was furious and he had the furnace heated up seven times hotter than usual. He had Daniel’s friends tied up and thrown into the furnace, but the furnace was so hot that it killed the soldiers that took them up there.

Daniel’s three friends fell into the furnace, but King Nebuchadnezzar saw four men walking around in there untied and unharmed. He said that the fourth looked like a son of the gods. He approached the opening of the furnace and told Daniel’s friends to come out. When they did they weren’t burned at all and they didn’t even smell like fire.

King Nebuchadnezzar was so impressed he wouldn’t let anyone say anything against God and he promoted Daniel’s friends.

Hey person, they should have thrown some meat in that blazing furnace. They could have had a tasty meal while they were in there.

Meat or Vegetables? (bongodogblog.com)

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 20, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Daniel, faith, Furnace, God, King Nebuchadnezzar, Pets, Shadrach Meshach and Abednego, Worship

Meat or Vegetables?

13 May

Daniel refusing the King’s Food (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person told me about someone in the Bible that I haven’t heard of before, but what he did doesn’t make sense to me. I think he’s crazy.

Person, I wouldn’t have done what Daniel did. It makes it hard to tell the story.

Okay, I’ll tell it the way you said it happened.

Daniel lived in Jerusalem at a time when Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon came and besieged it. Hey person, what does besieged mean? I be seeing it? Did King Nebuchadnezzar come to see Jerusalem?

Okay, I’ll just tell the story.

King Nebuchadnezzar ordered the chief of his court officials to bring some Israelites from the royal family and the nobility back to Babylon with him. He was supposed to pick young men who were smart and handsome. Some of those he picked were Daniel and three of his friends.

They had to what? My person says they had to walk over 500 miles to get to Babylon. I like walks but I don’t think I’d want to walk that far. Why didn’t they just get in a car, person?

Okay, I’ll tell the story. This is the part I don’t get. The king offered Daniel and his friends all kinds of good stuff to eat. Lots of meat and stuff. Mmmm. Yummy!

And you know what Daniel did? He turned it down. Now that just doesn’t make sense to me.

My person says Daniel probably didn’t want the king’s food because some of it had been offered to idols, and it hadn’t been prepared the way God told the Israelites to prepare their food.

Daniel asked the chief official if he and his friends could have permission not to eat that food, but the chief official said he was afraid of the king, and the king had assigned the food to them. So Daniel made a deal with the chief official. He asked for him and his friends to be given nothing but vegetables and water for ten days, and then to compare their appearance with that of the young men who ate the royal food.

And this is the really sad part. At the end of ten days Daniel and his friends looked healthier and better nourished than the other young men, so they were allowed to honor God by eating vegetables instead of that really good food.

Person, I don’t like this story at all. I think you’re trying to turn everyone into vegetarians. No way am I giving up all the yummy stuff.

30 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 13, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Christianity, Daniel, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, King Nebuchadnezzar, Pets

Prison Song

06 May

Paul and Silas with the Jailer – Artist Unknown

Hey person, whatever happened to that Saul guy? You know, the one that Jesus struck blind on the road to Damascus?

Who’s Paul? I’m talking about Saul.

What? They’re the same person? Now I’m confused. How come he has two names?

So most people called him Paul after he met Jesus? Was that because he was like a different person? So what happened to him after that?

He got to go on road trips? I want to go on a road trip. You haven’t taken me anywhere in a long time. Except on my trails, that is.

Where did he go on those road trips? Did he have a really cool car? Maybe he had a 4Runner like ours.

They what!? They didn’t have any cars then? They had to walk everywhere? What’s wrong with them? I don’t want to go on that kind of road trip. So where’d he walk to?

Why would he do that? He walked to different cities to tell people about Jesus and start churches? And it took days to get to some of those places? Boy, he was dedicated. I’m sure glad I don’t have to walk all those places.

Okay, I’m listening.

My person says one of the places Paul went was called Philippi. He and his friends met a slave girl who had a spirit in her that could predict the future. She was making lots of money for her owners, but she kept following Paul and his friends around and bothering them. Finally, in the name of Jesus, Paul commanded that spirit to come out of the girl.

I hope Paul gave that spirit what for when it came out of the girl.

Okay person, I’m listening.

The owners were really mad because now they couldn’t make any money off that girl, so they dragged Paul and his friend Silas to the authorities where they were beaten and put in prison.

Ouch! I bet Paul and Silas were pretty upset.

They what? They prayed and sang hymns? In the prison? At midnight? I don’t get it person. I would be howling.

My person says there was a big earthquake when Paul and Silas were singing and all the prison doors flew open. The jailer thought all the prisoners had escaped and was about to kill himself because he would be executed for letting the prisoners go.

Wow, I wouldn’t want his job.

Paul told the jailer not to kill himself because all the prisoners were still there. Then the jailer asked Paul and Silas what he must do to be saved.

Person, what does he need to be saved from. Was there going to be another earthquake?

I am listening.

Paul and Silas told the jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved.”

They told the jailer and his household about Jesus. Then the jailer washed their wounds and he and his family were baptized. He took Paul and Silas to his house and fed them and was filled with joy because he and his family had come to believe in God.

Hey person, if I tell someone about God will I get a midnight meal too?

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 6, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Cats and Dogs, Christianity, faith, Jesus, Paul, Pets, Philippi, Silas

Jump the Fence

29 Apr

The Liberation of St Peter. Museo Nazionale di Capodimonte, Naples. Regarded as Battistello’s masterpiece, it vividly captures the emotion of the scene as Peter is led from prison by an angel. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t get it person. Do you mean to tell me that Peter, that guy who tried to walk to Jesus on the water, and told Jesus he loved him, got arrested and put in prison? Why would anyone put Peter in prison? Who did it? I want to give them what for.

That mean old King Herod did it? I’m for sure going to give him what for. He’s really nasty. Didn’t he want to kill Jesus when he was a baby?

What? Now I’m totally confused. That wasn’t the same King Herod? That other King Herod was this King Herod’s grandfather? So grandson Herod was a meanie like his grandfather and put Peter in prison.

Is being in prison kind of like being locked in a tiny fenced yard with no way to jump the fence?

What? It was worse? Peter was chained between two soldiers and there were guards making sure he didn’t jump the fence?

What’s the good part? That sounds pretty bad to me.

The church offered constant prayer to God for Peter? What good will that do? Will prayer help Peter jump the fence? He’d have to drag those two guards with him. I can’t even drag you over the fence when you grab hold of me.

Well, my person says that prayer did do some good because when Peter was sleeping an angel of the Lord stood by him and a light shone in the prison. The angel woke Peter up and told him to get up quickly. And you know what? Those chains fell off Peter’s hands.

Then that angel told Peter to get dressed and follow him. Peter thought he was seeing a vision and that the angel wasn’t real, but he followed him anyway. They went past two guard posts and came to the iron gate that leads to the city. And that gate opened all by itself. I wish the gate in my yard would open by itself.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

They went down a street and the angel left. Peter finally realized that everything that had happened was real and he was free.

Hey person, if it was those prayers from the church that sent the angel to free Peter, do you think you could pray that an angel would come let me out so I can run free. I’ll come back when I’m tired. I promise.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

Tags: Angel of the Lord, Bible, Christianity, faith, God, King Herod, Peter, Pets, Prayer, Prison

He’s Coming!

22 Apr

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus as painted by Michelangelo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person says that around the time that Jesus was crucified there was a person living in Jerusalem named Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and he believed that the people who followed Jesus were going against God.

Hey person, what’s a Pharisee? Is that something like a fairy with good eye sight?

A Pharisee was a what? A religious leader? Wasn’t Jesus a religious leader? How come Saul thought Jesus’ followers were going against God?

Most of the Pharisees didn’t think Jesus was the messiah? Then they didn’t have very good eye sight at all. Maybe they should change their name to the Phariblinds.

Okay person, I’m listening.

My person said that Saul stood by and approved the stoning of Stephen, one of Jesus’ disciples, and then he wanted to go after all of Jesus’ followers in Damascus.

I hope somebody warns those disciples that Saul is coming.

They what? They were warned, but they didn’t need to be? I don’t get it.

Jesus took care of everything? He did? Did he send dogs on ahead to bark a warning?

Okay, I’m listening. Really.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus a light from heaven flashed around him and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul asked who it was and Jesus said it was him. Then Jesus told Saul to get up and go into the city and he would be told what he must do.

Saul got up and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t see anything. See, I told you he was a Phariblind.

The men with him had to lead him by hand into Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.

Then the Lord came to a disciple named Ananias in a vision and told him to go where Saul was staying and restore his sight. Ananias knew who Saul was and why he had come to Damascus, so he protested.

I guess that dog must have barked his warning to Ananias.

I am listening, person.

The Lord told Ananias that Saul was his chosen instrument so Ananias went and restored his sight, and something like scales fell off Saul’s eyes.

Does that mean Saul wasn’t a Phariblind anymore?

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

Tags: Ananias, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jerusalem, Jesus, Pets, Pharisee, Saul

A Net Full of Fish

15 Apr

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Boat, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets, Sea of Galilee

Listen to the Story

08 Apr

My person said I have to stay really quiet and listen because the Easter story is very important. I’ll try, person.

My person says that Jesus was crucified on the cross. That must have hurt.

Yes, I’m listening, person. I still don’t get why he was crucified though.

So God can’t look on sin and we all have it? Even me? Not me.

Well yeah, I do that but… I do that too, but it’s not my fault.

Jesus is the only one qualified to take all our sins upon himself and he had to die on the cross to do it? So God can look at us because Jesus took our sin for us? It’s a free gift from him?

We have to do what? Ask for that free gift? That’s all? That sounds really simple.

So what does that have to do with Easter?

Jesus didn’t stay dead? How could that happen?

My person says that after Jesus died he was buried in a tomb and a very large stone was rolled in front of it. On Sunday morning Mary Magdalene and some other women went to the tomb. They didn’t know how they would move the stone, but when they got there they found it had already been rolled away.

Mary ran to Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, and told them someone had taken Jesus and they didn’t know where he was.

Peter and John ran to the tomb and found nothing inside but the linen and burial cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus. They didn’t understand what was happening and they went home.

Mary Magdalene stayed there and stood outside the tomb crying. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels sitting where Jesus had been.

Person, you didn’t tell me there were angels in the story.

I’m really listening, person.

The angels asked Mary why she was crying and she said they had taken her Lord away and she didn’t know where they had put him.

Mary turned around and saw a man standing there. She thought it was the gardener.

A gardener? Does he grow good stuff to eat?

I’m sorry person. I couldn’t help myself. You made me think about food.

Okay. The man asked Mary why she was crying and who she was looking for.

Mary said to the man that if he had carried Jesus away could he please tell her where he had put him and she would go get him.

The man then said one word to her. “Mary.” She immediately recognized that it was Jesus.

But person, you just told me Jesus died on the cross. How could that be him?

He did? God raised him from the dead? And Mary was the first one to see him?