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Category Archives: Dogology

Riding a Colt

02 Mar

Jesus riding a donkey into JerusalemHey person, I’ve been listening to all these Bible stories that promise me treats and I’m still waiting for my treats.

What do you mean, there’s no treats in this story?

Then what’s the use of listening.

There’s an animal in the story?

Okay, I guess I’ll listen.

***

Jesus and His disciples were approaching Jerusalem and came to Bethpage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives. Jesus sent two of His disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden.

***

I could chase after that colt for them.

You know, like I tried to chase after those horses we saw on my trails?

Just don’t keep holding onto my leash this time.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “Untie the colt and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ tell him, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.’”

***

Is Jesus going to chase after that colt?

***

The disciples went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, some people standing there asked, “What are you doing, untying that colt?”

***

Isn’t that inhumane treatment of animals to keep them tied up?

Those disciples were just being nice to that colt.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

The disciples answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go.

***

Jesus must have been a popular guy.

***

When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, He sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields.

***

I don’t get it. Now the colt and the road must be really warm, but if the people took off their cloaks aren’t they shivering?

***

Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted, “Hosanna!”

“Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!”

Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

Hosanna in the highest!”

***

I guess Jesus was a popular guy. Those people must have been so busy shouting that they didn’t notice they were cold.

***

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” Jesus replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

***

I think I heard one of those stones crying out when we were on my trails.

It was not a bird.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on March 2, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Eeny Mina Miny Treat

23 Feb

Parable of the 10 minasI’ve been trying to climb a tree ever since I heard the story last week about Zacchaeus in the tree.

Scratchy is useless.

He’s supposed to teach me how to climb and he won’t even leave the house.

Okay, I’m not getting anywhere with the tree thing, I might as well listen to the next story.

Maybe this story will be about treats.

***

Jesus told a parable because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once.

***

Do dogs get treats when the kingdom of God appears? Because if they do I’m voting for it to appear at once.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.”

***

What are minas? Are they like treats?

***

“’Put this money to work,’ the man said, ‘until I come back.”

***

Oh, it’s money. Well, I can pretend they’re treats.

***

“But the man’s subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’”

***

He must have been stingy with his treats.

I’m listening. How do you think I know what the man is doing?

***

“He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the treats money, in order to find out what they had gained with it.

The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina treat has earned ten more.’”

***

Woo woo! Treats for everybody!

***

“’Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’

“The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina treat has earned five more.’”

***

And more treats for everybody. It’s a real party!

***

“Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’”

***

What a loser. He’s not even invited to the party.

***

“His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’”

***

He could have left that mina treat with me.

I would have deposited a lot of slobber on it.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina treat away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas treats.’

‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’

***

I’ll eat some!

***

He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away. But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them – bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”

***

I know who I’m hanging out with.

That guy who has eleven minas treats has plenty to share.

***

After Jesus had said this, He went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem.

***

Hey Jesus, where did that guy with all the treats go?

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 23, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Climbing a Tree

16 Feb

Zacchaeus being called down from the treeWhat?

You’re telling me there’s a song that goes with this Bible story?

But you won’t let me post it because it might irritate some of my friends?

Oh, it’s a kid’s song?

What about a dog song? Woo woo!

I’m still waiting for Jesus to give me extra treats.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

But if I don’t like it I’m gonna start singing.

.

***

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy.

***

I bet Zacchaeus has some extra treats for me.

What? Nobody liked tax collectors?

Then he really needs to give me some treats.

I’ll like him if he gives me treats.

I am listening.

***

Zacchaeus wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

***

Okay, now I’ve got it.

In order to get Jesus’ attention you’ve got to be up in a tree.

Sounds easy enough.

Oh wait. What do I do?

I don’t know how to climb a tree.

Scratchy, come here. Now!

I need you to give me tree climbing lessons.

I’ll listen – as soon as I get up in this tree.

***

All the people saw this and began to mutter, “Jesus has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

***

I guess Jesus had better think twice about who’s house he visits.

***

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

***

Zacchaeus, I think you cheated me out of some treats.

***

Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.”

***

I think the only thing that’s been lost are my treats.

***

***

Don’t tell my person, but if you really want to hear the song about Zacchaeus, it’s right here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9ipEE52i6o

 
13 Comments

Posted by on February 16, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Can You See Him?

09 Feb

Jesus and Bartimaeus Mark 10 46-52
Last week Jesus said I had to serve people and I’m not going for it.

Unless it’s cleaning up the spills on the floors or giving you exercise.

So you might as well forget telling me a story this week.

What do you mean, you were going to tell me about another miracle that Jesus did?

I like miracles.

I changed my mind.

I’m listening.

I mean it.

I’m really listening.

You’re going to make me sit and roll over and beg first?

I know how to sit and I’m really good at begging – but I never figured out that roll over stuff.

Please tell me the story.

***

As Jesus approached Jericho a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging.

***

Wow. That blind man can beg too.

Yes, I’m listening. I told you before that I was listening.

***

When the blind man heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

***

Hey, that blind man is kind of in the same shape I am.

I don’t know what Jesus looks like, and neither does he.

***

The blind man called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

***

Do you think Jesus would have mercy on me and give me some treats?

I am too listening.

***

Those who led the way rebuked the blind man and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to Him.

***

Oh no, that man’s in trouble now. He shouldn’t have shouted like that.

***

When the blind man came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

***

Whoa! Wide open question.

I’d ask for some treats.

A whole bunch of treats.

***

“Lord, I want to see,” the blind man replied.

***

Is that all?

He should have asked to be able to see and for bunches of treats.

***

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

***

I’ll totally praise God if He gives me treats.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on February 9, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Taking my Place

02 Feb

Nobody’s going to read my post today.

First, they’re going to be out looking for that pesky groundhog.

You know, the one who’s supposed to see his shadow so we actually get some winter before it turns spring.

What do you mean, we don’t have any groundhogs here?

That’s terrible! You mean we’re not going to get any snow?

Could somebody please send me some snow?

Anyway, after everybody finishes looking for that groundhog – that they’re not going to find if they live near me – they’re going inside to watch the Super Bowl.

And after that they’ll remember all the things they should have been doing and nobody’s going to read my blog.

Wait! What?

You said two of Jesus’ disciples want to be on each side of Him?

Jesus will have trouble passing any fish to me then.

I’d better do something about this.

Yes, I’m listening to the story.

***

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

“What do you want me to do for you?” He asked.

They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

***

I’m sure Jesus would rather have a dog by His side.

I am listening.

***

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

***

There’s just water in that cup, right?

And baptism, isn’t that kind of like going swimming?

I’m all in!

***

“We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

***

See, I knew it!

I’m sure there’s a spot right next to Jesus prepared for a dog.

I’m listening! Do you think I’d know what to say if I wasn’t listening?

***

When the ten heard about this,…

***

The ten and the dog – that’s me.

***

…they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

***

What!? I have to be a servant and a slave?

There must be some other way.

That’s too hard.

***

Jesus continued, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

***

Okay, if Jesus can do it I guess I can too.

Hey person, here’s your slippers.

I did not take them off your feet so I could give them to you!

 
28 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Staggered Shifts

26 Jan

Rembrandt - Parable of the Laborers in the VineyardLast week I was trying to stuff a camel through a needle’s eye – but it didn’t work.

Do you think maybe I could get my treats to go through?

I mean, heaven wouldn’t be heaven without treats.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

But I hope there’s treats in it.

***

Jesus said, “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.”

***

How many treats does a denarius buy?

I am listening.

***

“About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.”

***

Maybe he was going to pay them in treats.

***

“He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’”

***

I bet if someone offered them treats they’d work for them.

How much listening do I have to do? Give me a treat first.

***

“’Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’”

***

That man must have had a lot of treats to pay with.

What do you mean, vineyards have grapes and dogs aren’t supposed to eat them?

No fair!

***

“When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’”

***

I think I’ll wait and hang out with those first workers – after they get paid, that is.

***

“The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When the received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’”

***

I bet those grumbly guys won’t even buy me any treats. I think I’ll go hang out with an eleventh hour guy.

***

“But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am so generous?’”

***

Now I know who I’m going to hang out with. I think I like that landowner.

***

Then Jesus said, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

***

Okay, I’m getting in line last – I mean first.

I mean – I don’t know what I mean. I’m all confused.

Which way are the treats?

 
15 Comments

Posted by on January 26, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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How Big is a Needle’s Eye?

19 Jan

Christ and the Rich Young Ruler - Heinrich Hofmann (1824–1911)I’m still waiting for all those loves from Jesus.

Maybe he’s waiting until you tell me another story about Him.

Maybe He’ll give me loves while you’re telling it.

So I’m listening.

***

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

***

You’ve got to hang out with Jesus for that eternal life stuff. Even I know that.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied.

“There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.”

“Which ones?” the man inquired.

Jesus replied, “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

***

That’s me all over!

What do you mean, I sometimes accuse Scratchy of doing things that I really did?

He did too do all those things!

I always honor you and do what you say. After all, I’m the perfect dog.

I ran off? Oh, um – I came back to you didn’t I?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“All these things I have kept,” the young man said.

***

See, that man and I are two of a kind.

***

The man asked, “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

***

Wait, does that mean I have to sell all my treats?

Oh, I can do that. Jesus gives out fish.

***

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

***

Young man, come back, come back. Jesus will give you all the fish you want!

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

***

It’s a good thing I’m just a poor dog – and a lot smaller than a camel.

Wait, how big is the eye of a needle?

***

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

***

Whew! I was beginning to worry.

I just found out how big one of those needle’s eyes is.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on January 19, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Children and Loves

12 Jan

Jesus and childrenI’ve been eating humble pie since last week’s Bible story so I can get extra treats. And I still don’t have any.

And humble pie doesn’t taste very good.

Maybe if I can figure out a way to get to the top of the refrigerator I can pull all the treats down – and eat them.

What!? You’re going to tell me a story where Jesus rebuked his disciples?

And he’s going to rebuke me too if I do what I just said?

Do I get extra treats if He rebukes me?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him place His hands on them and pray for them, but the disciples rebuked the people who brought them.

***

Did the disciples give all those people treats?

What do you mean, rebuke doesn’t mean giving out treats? What else could it mean?

***

When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

***

Is it alright if I hinder those little children so I can get some loves?

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

***

I can act as childish as you want.

What do you mean, sit and listen?

***

Jesus took the children in His arms, put His hands on them, and blessed them.

***

Alright! Jesus gives out loves.

I’m standing in line.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Confident or Humble?

05 Jan

Pharisee and the tax collectorI’m still praying for those treats and you’re going to tell me another of Jesus’ Pair a Bulls?

I’m not finished with the last one yet. There sure are a lot of bulls around here.

If I listen do I get some treats?

What!? I’ve got to listen before I can have some treats?

Oh, all right.

***

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:

***

I’m confident.

Is Jesus telling this to me?

What do you mean, if I listen I’ll find out?

***

Jesus said, “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’”

***

Wow, that guy thinks he’s pretty good.

I wonder if he’s nice to dogs.

I’m listening.

***

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”

***

I bet that guy feels bad because nobody likes tax collectors.

I’ll give him loves – if he gives me treats.

***

Then Jesus said, “I tell you that this man – the tax collector – , rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

***

I’m the humblest dog around.

Now do I get my treats?

 
14 Comments

Posted by on January 5, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Keep Bugging

29 Dec
English: Illustration of the Parable of the Un...

English: Illustration of the Parable of the Unjust Judge from the New Testament Gospel of Luke (Luke 18:1-9) by John Everett Millais for The Parables of Our Lord (1863) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, I think that faith thing does work.

Remember last week when I said I had faith that I would get treats?

Well, I did get treats for Christmas so my faith did work.

I’m supposed to what?

I’m supposed to thank Jesus for the treats my faith brought?

Maybe you should just tell me another story.

***

Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

***

Jesus is telling another one of those Pair a Bulls?

They must have had a lot of bulls around in His day.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’”

***

Did that widow have to keep getting appointments to see the judge? I bet she had a really big phone bill from making all those phone calls for appointments.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

“For some time the judge refused to grant the widow justice. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

***

See person. That’s why I keep bugging you until I get what I want. You know that I won’t quit until I get it and you get tired of my bugging.

What, there’s more?

***

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”

***

I have faith.

My faith brought me treats.

Thank you Jesus.

I have faith and treats.

Well, I used to have treats.

I think I need more faith treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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