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Hidden in a Cave

Person, what do you mean you’re not going to tell me the story of those other sheep? You promised.

Well, I figured you meant you’d tell me that story next. I don’t want to wait.

Okay, I’ll listen. But this better be good.

My person says that after David escaped from King Saul, King Saul chased him around the countryside because he still wanted to kill him. For a time David hid in the cave of Adullam and his family and lots of men joined him there. The men that joined him did not have the best of character. They were the distressed, indebted, and the discontent. Person, I’m not sure what all those words mean.

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says that David became the leader of all those men that have words with D in them. He even straightened some of them out.

How did he do that, person?

He what? He did? My person says that one of the things David did was to set a good example for the men. I set good examples. I could straighten out those men.

One of the times that King Saul was chasing David he went into a cave to relieve himself. This was not any cave. It happened to be the cave that David and his men were in. They were far back in it so King Saul didn’t see them.

While King Saul was doing his business, David crept up on him and…

He didn’t kill him? But any normal person would kill someone who was out to kill them. After all, it’s self defense.

Do you believe it? David didn’t kill King Saul. Instead he cut off the corner of his robe. Then he felt guilty for even doing that, because King Saul was the Lord’s anointed.

So David went out of the cave and told King Saul what he had done. He said he’d done nothing against King Saul and wouldn’t. David gave it to the Lord to avenge the wrongs King Saul had done to him.

Person, I think the Lord is more powerful than David. I wouldn’t want Him after me. So what happened to King Saul? Something really nasty?

What do you mean, that’s another story? I would think he’d get struck down right there.

He did? King Saul left? But he went after David again later?

I don’t get it. I think I’ll gather up my dog buddies and go after King Saul right now. See you later.

Jealousy Can Be Deadly (bongodogblog.com)
A Sling and a Stone (bongodogblog.com)
Harp Service (bongodogblog.com)

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 26, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: David, faith, God, Israel, King Saul, Pets

Jealousy Can Be Deadly

19 Feb

Hey person, you know that David guy? The one who killed that giant named Goliath?

Yeah, him. Whatever happened to his sheep – and his sheep dogs?

What? He didn’t? Other people had to take care of them? Why? Won’t David miss them?

My person says that after David killed Goliath he became a big hero and all the Israelites loved him. King Saul kept David in his service and didn’t let him go home any more to his family and his sheep – and sheep dogs.

But then something happened. After that battle with the Philistines all the people praised King Saul, but they praised David even more.

And King Saul got really jealous.

King Saul got so jealous that while David was playing the harp for him he threw a spear at him and tried to pin David to the wall.

He what!? He threw that spear at David twice? I hope David was okay.

My person says that David got away from King Saul and then King Saul was afraid of David because he knew the Lord was with him. So you know what that mean old King Saul did? He sent David out to battle, hoping that David would get killed.

David didn’t get killed, did he person? What would his sheep do without him?

He was? Oh that’s good. My person says David was very successful in battle because the Lord was with him, and he became even more of a hero in Israel.

So then what happened?

No way. You know what happened next? That mean old King Saul threw another spear at David while he was playing the harp. David had had enough by this point and he knew King Saul meant business, so that night he escaped.

What happened next person? Oh, come on. Tell me more.

I don’t believe it. My person won’t tell me any more. She says King Saul chased after David and David had lots and lots of adventures.

What kind of adventures person? Did David’s sheep have adventures too?

Really? David’s sheep didn’t have any adventures, but some other sheep did?

Come on person, I think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes.

A Sling and a Stone (bongodogblog.com)
Harp Service (bongodogblog.com)

36 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 19, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, David, dogs, faith, Israel, King Saul, Pets, Sheep

A Sling and a Stone

12 Feb

Another story about David? And this one’s a really big adventure? What I want to know is what happened to David’s sheep – and his sheep dogs?

He did? My person says that when David went to play the harp for King Saul he missed his sheep so he would go home to be with them sometimes. Well, one time when David was hanging out with his sheep Saul and the Israelite army ended up having a big standoff with the Philistine army.

I asked my person why the Israelites didn’t get their air force to come help them and she said that wasn’t possible. I’m not sure why.

My person said that David’s three oldest brothers had followed King Saul to the war. Jesse, David’s father, told David to take some food to his brothers and find out how they were doing.

David had to leave his sheep and his sheep dogs again, but he obeyed his father and went to see his brothers. When he got there he saw a Philistine named Goliath who was challenging the Israelites to send one man to fight with him. Goliath was a giant – over nine feet tall – and the Israelites were afraid of him.

King Saul learned that David was asking about Goliath and sent for him. David told King Saul that he would fight Goliath and King Saul told David he was just a boy and didn’t stand a chance.

David said he had killed both a bear and a lion while defending his sheep – Wow, David. You rock! – yeah, I’m listening person. David said the Lord who had protected him from the lion and the bear would also protect him against Goliath.

King Saul gave David his armor to wear in the fight, but David said it would just get in the way because he wasn’t used to it. He chose five smooth stones from the stream and his sling instead. Are you sure David? You don’t want to turn your sheep and sheep dogs into orphans.

When Goliath saw David approaching he was insulted that the Israelites would send a boy to fight him. He cursed David and told him he was a goner.

David told Goliath he had come against him in the name of the Lord Almighty and the Lord was much stronger than Goliath’s sword, and spear, and javelin.

David reached into his bag, took out a stone, and slung it at Goliath. The stone struck Goliath in the forehead and sank in. Goliath fell face down on the ground and the Philistine army ran.

Hey person, I’m going to go out and collect some stones. No, I won’t hurt anybody with them. I’m collecting them for David’s sheep dogs. They’ve got lions and bears around and David isn’t there.

42 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 12, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, David, dogs, faith, Goliath, King Saul, Pets, Sheep

Harp Service

05 Feb

Hey person, whatever happened to that guy who hung out with the sheep? The one with the sheep dogs that was anointed king.

Yeah, that’s him – David. So what happened to him?

Yeah, I want another Bible story. But only if it’s about that cool guy who likes sheep and dogs.

He what, person? He went into the king’s service? But wasn’t he the king now?

Oh, I get it. I think. He was anointed king, but he didn’t get to be the king. Was he just playing a game, like cops and robbers or something?

My person says Saul was still the king but the Spirit of the Lord had left him and an evil spirit started tormenting him. Saul’s servants thought that if he found someone to play the harp for him it would make him feel better.

You know what? That David guy not only hangs out with sheep, it turns out he plays the harp too, and one of King Saul’s servants knew about David.

I hope that servant didn’t tell King Saul that David was supposed to be the king.

My person says it would still be a long time before David got to be king, but in the meantime he had to leave his sheep and sheep dogs and go play his harp for King Saul.

He did? You mean he still got to take some animals with him?

David got to take a donkey loaded with bread – at least that donkey didn’t get hungry – and a skin of wine. Oh no, you’d better watch it donkey. You could get in trouble with that wine.

David also took a young goat with him. I hope that goat is as nice as the sheep.

Whenever that evil spirit tormented King Saul, David would play his harp for him and King Saul would feel better.

I wonder if David sang any songs about dogs.

Hanging with Sheep (bongodogblog.wordpress.com)

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 5, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, David, dogs, faith, King Saul, Pets

Escape to Egypt

15 Jan

“…out of Egypt I called my son.” Hosea 11:1

Hey person, whose son is in Egypt? Are there animals in this story?

They worshipped what in Egypt? No way! They worshipped cats!? It’s a good thing that son was called out of Egypt. Who was that son anyway?

He was? How did he get there? I thought he was in…?

Okay person, I’ll let you tell the story.

My person says Jesus had his first big adventure when he was still very little. I like adventures. I’m listening person.

Okay, I’m quiet now.

My person says that after those Magi she talked about in the last Bible story gave Jesus his gifts, you know, that gold, frankincense, myrrh, and those chew toys, they were warned in a dream not to go back to that sneaky King Herod, so they went home another way.

After the Magi left, an angel came to Joseph in a dream and told him to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt because King Herod was going to look for Jesus to kill him. Sure enough when that sneaky evil King Herod realized he’d been outwitted by the Magi he got really mad and wanted to find and kill Jesus. But Jesus had already left for Egypt.

It wasn’t too long before sneaky evil King Herod died and an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream again, and told him they could go back to Israel. I hope they didn’t bring any of those cats back with them.

When they got back to Israel, without any cats, they found out that King Herod’s evil son Archelaus was ruling in Judea – the area they had been in before they went to Egypt – and they decided to go to a town called Nazareth in the district of Galilee instead. My person says that Nazareth is where Jesus grew up.

That was a pretty exciting adventure for a little kid – running away from an evil king, all the way from Israel to Egypt. I’m sure glad it ended okay. But person, I think there’s something wrong with my ears. I keep hearing this meowing sound.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, Egypt, faith, Israel, Jesus, Nazareth, Pets

In the Temple

01 Jan

“Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’” Luke 2:34-35

Okay person, I’m confused. What are these words you put on my blog talking about? Is this about the baby who started out life in a manger? After all, his mother’s name was Mary. These words don’t sound good.

Now I’m really confused. My person said this is the same child, but these words by Simeon will have to wait until later stories. She said that when the baby was eight days old they circumcised him – they what? – my person says “never mind” – and at that time they gave him the name Jesus like the angel had told them to.

My person says they met Simeon when they took Jesus to the temple to consecrate him. Hey person, I haven’t heard about any animals in this story yet. Oh yeah? They what? She says there were animals at the temple that they used for sacrifices. I didn’t know what a sacrifice was so I asked my person and she told me I didn’t want to know. Well whatever it is, I hope they treat those animals nice.

Simeon had the Holy Spirit upon him and was told he would not die before he’d seen the Lord’s Christ. When he saw Jesus in the temple courts he knew he had seen God’s salvation. There was also an old lady named Anna who was a prophetess and she knew who Jesus was too.

Mary must have been pretty upset when Simeon told her about that sword. Maybe she should let Jesus have a pet dog. That dog would protect them.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs

Tags: Anna, Christ, Christianity, faith, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mary, Pets, Simeon

To Bethlehem

18 Dec

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from old, from ancient times.” Micah 5:2

My person promised. She said today’s Bible story will have animals in it – so I’m waiting. She’d better be right or I’m going to erase those words she put on my blog that I didn’t write.

My person says that Joseph eventually got married to Mary – that sounds funny, married to Mary. Okay person. I’ll try to listen, but I’m still waiting for those animals.

Caesar Augustus – he was the head guy of the Roman Empire that ruled over Israel at the time – decided he wanted to have a census. A what? Everyone had to go to his own town to register. My person said that since Joseph was from the line of David – hey I remember David. He started out as a shepherd boy and had lots of animals around him – Joseph had to go to David’s hometown of Bethlehem, and he took Mary with him.

Bethlehem was about eighty miles from Nazareth where Joseph and Mary lived. Mary was about to have a baby so it would have been hard for her to walk that far. My person says she probably rode a donkey.

A donkey! Finally, there’s an animal in the story.

Okay person, I’m listening now. When Joseph and Mary – and the donkey – finally made it to Bethlehem there was no room for them at the inn.

Mary was about to have her baby so she needed someplace to stay. You know what my person said they did? They went and hung out where the animals lived. Mary had her baby and she laid him in a manger. My person said a manger is the thing that the animals eat from.

I hope those animals don’t try to eat that baby by mistake.

34 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 18, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Bible, Cats and Dogs, Christianity, faith, Joseph, Mary, Nazareth, Pets

Angels are Busy

11 Dec

“All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: ‘The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel’ – which means, ‘God with us.’” Matthew 1:22-23

There she goes again – putting words on my blog that I didn’t write. Come on person, isn’t this my blog?

More Bible stories? Are there animals? A bunch of my blogging friends told me there would be animals coming in the story you started last week.

What!!! You mean I have to wait one more week before you get to the animals? I think you’re just stringing me along. I think I’ll go lie down on my bed and go to sleep.

Okay, I’ll stay for another angel story. That angel Gabriel was something else though – telling Mary she was going to have a baby while she was still a virgin. I guess I’m listening.

My person started telling me about Joseph. You know, that guy that Mary was engaged to. My person said that marriage customs were different then than they are now. Once two people in Israel in Bible times became engaged, they were committed to each other the same as if they were already married. They had to actually have a divorce to become unengaged. I’m not quite sure I get it. Dogs don’t do that marriage thing.

Anyway, Joseph found out Mary was pregnant and since he followed God and had respected Mary he figured she hadn’t been faithful to him. I bet he was pretty upset. He decided he would divorce her quietly.

But then my person says an angel came to Joseph in a dream. I like the angel that came to Mary better. She was wide awake.

Okay person, I’ll stop making side comments. At least I’ll try.

My person says Joseph didn’t need to be awake because he listened to that angel in his dream. The angel told Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife because her baby came from the Holy Spirit. The angel also said that Mary would have a son and Joseph was to name him Jesus, because the son will save his people from their sins.

I’m not sure what that is that people need saving from. Sins must be something that people have and not dogs. Am I missing out on something here?

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 11, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, God, HolySpirit, Jesus, Joseph, Mary, Pets

Mary Did You Know?

04 Dec

For to us a son is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace

Isaiah 9:6

Hey, what are those words doing on my blog? I didn’t write that.

Okay person, what are you doing? What? I know it’s the Christmas season. Time for presents and a Christmas tree. Hey, how come our tree’s not up yet?

Christmas is what? The time we celebrate Jesus’ birth? What happened to Santa Claus? And you still haven’t told me why those words are on my blog.

Those words came from where?

My person says those words were written by a prophet named Isaiah about the coming messiah (the what?) about 700 years before Jesus’ birth.

Okay, so what does that have to do with anything?

Jesus was the messiah Isaiah was talking about? How could Isaiah know that 700 years before it happened?

My person says that God sometimes speaks to people in special ways.

He doesn’t talk to me. Okay person, where are the animals in this story?

No animals! I’m outta here. I started walking away and my person told me to wait. She said there are lots of animals in the story but we won’t get to that part today. She promised me an angel though. I’ve never met an angel so I thought maybe I’d stick around and see if it was worth it.

My person told me that a very important person in the Bible was a young woman named Mary. She said Mary was engaged to a man named Joseph and was probably younger than my younger person at the time of this story. She said Mary was probably a teenager.

Mary had a special visit from an angel named Gabriel. My person said Gabriel showed up more than once in the Bible, but this time it was Mary’s turn for a visit. I wonder if Gabriel ever visits dogs.

Well Gabriel told Mary that she had found favor with God and she would give birth to a son and name him Jesus.

Never mind Gabriel, you don’t have to visit me after all. I don’t think I want any puppies hanging around here.

Mary couldn’t figure out how she could have a child since she was a virgin, but Gabriel told her that the Holy Spirit would come upon her, and her child would be called the Son of God.

Wow! What a day. My person said Mary probably thought she’d live a nice quiet life in the little town of Nazareth, but she ended up having all kinds of adventures starting with that visit from Gabriel. She says she’ll tell me more about Mary’s adventures later.

I like adventures, but I’m still waiting for the animals.

29 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 4, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christian, dogs, faith, Gabriel, Mary, Pets

To the Dogs

20 Nov

My person told me that not all the people in the Bible were good. I didn’t believe her so she started telling me a story about an evil queen named Jezebel. Before I sat down ready to listen I asked her if there were any animals in the story. She said there were – dogs actually – but she said I probably didn’t want to hear about it. She said it was very sad.

I said I’d listen and decide for myself so my person started telling me the story. She said Jezebel was married to King Ahab, the king of Israel, and they were both very bad. Jezebel worshiped Baal instead of the one true God and she got King Ahab to worship Baal too.

I wasn’t sure if worshipping Baal was important, but then my person said Jezebel killed all the prophets of God that she could find. That was pretty bad.

Well one day King Ahab became upset because he wanted to buy a vineyard and the man who owned it wouldn’t sell it to him. Jezebel knew how to take care of that. She had that vineyard owner killed and then told King Ahab to go get the vineyard – it belonged to him now.

I guess it was sad about that vineyard owner, but I started getting really angry at that mean old Queen Jezebel. I told my person maybe she should stop because I felt some growls about to erupt.

My person said there was just a little bit more because when King Ahab went to that vineyard Elijah showed up. Ahab and Elijah didn’t get along very well but Jezebel really hated Elijah and wanted to kill him. It sounds like she wanted to kill everybody. Elijah was a prophet of the Lord and he told King Ahab Jezebel would get her fair share. He said that dogs would devour her.

My person said that that is what eventually happened. I am so bummed. Not about Jezebel. She deserved it and my growls are calming down now. But those poor dogs. They must have been really hungry. Didn’t they have any good pet stores in those days? Someone could have made a lot of money by opening up a pet store so people could buy their dogs some good food and tasty treats.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 20, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: dogs, Elijah, faith, God, Jezebel, King Ahab, Pets