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Category Archives: humor

Can You Walk to Indiana?

My person is leaving today and I’ve got to stay home with my younger person. I have to watch over him and make sure he gets up in time for school. He won’t let me in his room though. He says I get too much hair everywhere. So I guess I’ll just have to scratch on his door.

I’m not sure where my person is going. She says it’s someplace called Indiana. I don’t know where that is but I know it’s a long way from Arizona. My person says she can’t even walk there. She says if she tried it would be a very long time before I would see her again.

She says she’s going to get in her car but I’m not allowed to get in with her. She has to drive for two hours to a place called an airport in Phoenix and get on something called an airplane that will fly her to Indiana. She pointed out an airplane that was flying overhead and said it is like a very large bird that people can fly inside of. I’m not sure I’d want to trust the insides of a bird’s belly.

Since my person won’t be here to help me write my blogs I had her help me do some ahead. She said she’d try to post them but her schedule might be all screwed up. Somehow I think my person is losing sight of her priorities.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 8, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets

No, Not That!

07 Nov

I didn’t notice it at first because as soon as my person got home she put her hiking boots on and attached my leash to my collar and we headed out the door. I think she felt guilty about only giving me half a hike the other day because the scent of my person’s little blogging friend hung around her.

Yes, she admitted she had been with her blogging friend, but she said she’d made a point of getting home in time to take me for a walk before it got dark. Thank you person. You didn’t do that the other day.

But there was something else. It became obvious when we returned home from our walk that it wasn’t only the little blogging friend that I smelled. It was a new scent. Something, actually somebody that I hadn’t smelled before. Not a person. Not even a dog, and definitely not a cat. It was a – a – it was – I haven’t been around one of those in a very long time. It was a puppy.

Nooo – not a puppy. What if my person wants to replace me with a puppy? What if she thinks that puppy is cuter than me? I’m in trouble now. Where would I go if that puppy came and took my place?

What? You mean? That puppy’s not coming here? You’re not going to replace me? That puppy belongs to your blogging friend? Silly person. Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?

Half a Hike (bongodogblog.wordpress.com)

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 7, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Puppy

What’s for Dinner?

06 Nov

My person told me that God created the earth in six days and then rested the next day. She said He created different things on different days, but you know what? She said dogs and people were created on the same day. Isn’t that cool? My person also told me that all of us animals were brought to the first man, Adam, so he could name us.

I was really excited to hear about that first man who named me dog, which is God in reverse. I thought he must think I was very special to somehow put God in my name, but then my person told me that probably wasn’t the case at all. She said that man didn’t know English and would have had very different words for God and dog. I don’t quite get it. I thought there were only two languages – people language and dog language. Okay Scratchy, cat language too.

My person said that God told the first people to rule over all the animals but she said this doesn’t mean that people should be mean to animals. She said that God made people in His image and he meant for them to rule over the animals the way He would Himself. God loves what He created and wants his creation, including us animals, taken care of. My person says sometimes that means she has to do something I don’t like, like keeping me on a leash so I won’t run off and get into trouble. She also said it could mean that pets should be spayed or neutered so there aren’t too many and the ones that are around can all find good homes. Is that why I had those things cut off?

There’s something my person told me that really bothers me though. She said God gave all the creatures on the earth every green plant for food. That’s it? No meat? No way! What am I gonna do? My person said all that changed but she’s making me wait. She said that’s another story. I suppose she’s going to tell me next that lions are going to invite lambs over for dinner and actually give them something to eat. Scratchy, you want some of my plants for dinner?

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 6, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: dogs, faith, God, Neutering, Pet

Who Needs the Internet?

05 Nov

My people were gone for a long time and when they came home they said the Internet had gone down. I don’t know what that means. My person said she couldn’t check her email or Facebook and my younger person couldn’t work on the research for a paper he needed to write. All that didn’t really mean much to me, but then my person said something else.

She said that I wouldn’t be able to read any comments from my dog blogging friends, and I couldn’t answer any. Now that hurts. What is this Internet thing anyway? When it goes down you mean I won’t hear from Bassa or Rumpy or Bones? What about Lola, or my friend who shares my name – the other Bongo? You don’t mean I can’t talk to the 2 Brown Dawgs, or the Iowa Dogs, or my friends Amy, Mumsy, and Deannamelanie and all their animals? And what about Wonderbutt? Oh man, this really hurts. And I’ve got lots other friends too. Too many to mention them all. Whatever this Internet thing is, I sure hope it gets up soon. Is there such a thing as an Internet alarm clock?

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20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 5, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets

Half a Hike

04 Nov

It’s not fair! Only half a hike. I only got half a hike. It’s all my person’s fault. She got home late, and she said if we went out any longer we’d be coming home by flashlight. That’s okay by me. I’ll hold the flashlight. She wouldn’t go for it.

You know what she was doing? She was helping a friend – a little friend – younger than my younger person, to set up a blog. After all that I’ve taught my person about blogging, she goes and teaches it to someone else, and then comes home late. She goes off and blogs with someone else and then cuts into my time. How ungrateful can you get?

I know what I’ll do. I’ll invite this little friend over here and I’ll tell her she owes me half a hike. Actually I think I’ll hit her up for a hike and a half, because I’ll have another hike coming by then. I’m getting excited already. I think I have a new hiking buddy. My person can go off on her own.

My New Blog

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 4, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, Pets, Trail

Out the Door

03 Nov

We had thunder again the other day. We don’t usually get thunder this time of year. I think whoever makes that loud sound up there must be picking on me because we’ve had a lot of it. Anyway, my person put my anxiety vest on and it helped some.

That awful thunder was starting to calm down, but I wasn’t sure it was gone yet when my person had this horrible idea. She decided to leave the house and leave me here alone – well, Scratchy was here but he doesn’t count.

She started out the front door and I wasn’t about to let her do it. I ran right over to that door and made like I was going to push myself outside. She knew I’d do it, and I knew she wouldn’t let me because then she has to catch me before she can leave. And I’m pretty good at playing keep away.

My person went to the garage door and I was right there. I wouldn’t let her go into the garage unless she took me with her. She headed back to the front door and I went ahead of her. Then she did something I didn’t like at all. Halfway to the front door she cut back and went out the door to the garage and shut it before I could get there.

I’m supposed to be the escape artist. I guess I taught my person a few of my tricks without meaning to.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 3, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Thunder

Haunted Hamburger

02 Nov

My people left me for awhile today. They said they went to a place called Jerome. I don’t really care what they did, but what I do care about is what my younger person smelled like when they came home. He smelled like scrumptious, juicy, flavorful, tasty, water is pouring out of my mouth, barbeque ribs.

Next time you go to a place like that people, please take me with you. I’ll behave. I promise. All you have to do is give me some of those ribs.

My people said there were no dogs allowed where they went. It was a restaurant called the Haunted Hamburger. The what? How can a hamburger be haunted?

They said they didn’t know about the hamburger being haunted, but the town of Jerome is famous for its hauntings. You’d think they could find some ribs in a safer place.

Well I decided that maybe I didn’t need to go with my people to such a spooky place, but the least they could do if they were going there anyway was to bring me a doggie bag.

My person showed me some pictures that she took in Jerome.

View from the Haunted Hamburger

Jerome, Arizona

At the base of the copper mine

House in Jerome

Abandoned House in Jerome

Street through Jerome

This one says it all.

Jerome Resident

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 2, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Jerome, Pets, Photography

Where’s the Treats?

01 Nov

My person told me I couldn’t go out looking like myself yesterday, so she dressed me up as a Cub Scout and took me for a walk. I’m not sure what she was talking about, and I don’t even know what a Cub Scout is, but she said something about treats. I’ll do anything for treats. Well, almost anything.

We went walking along the trail – me all dressed up. We met a few people on the trail but none of them had treats for me. Hey, what gives? I thought if I wore this silly thing that everyone I ran into would give me treats.

Then I figured out what the problem was. I didn’t run into anybody. My person pulls me off the trail whenever someone comes walking by. How does she expect me to get treats when I’m standing out of the way?

Once I realized that, I moped all the way home. We didn’t even see any more people. Darn. I really wanted to check out that running into theory. Anyway, I guess my younger person felt sorry for me when we got home because he gave me an end of the trail treat. And I didn’t even have to run into him.

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 1, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cubscout, Pets, Trail

Coyote Attack

31 Oct

I got to be a hero once. It was a long time ago – not too long after I came to live with my people. It had snowed the night before – you know, that cold white stuff – and my person wanted to take me for a walk in it. I’ll go for a walk in any weather, as long as my person goes along with me. The snow wasn’t very deep – only about to the top of my feet when I stepped in it. My person said it was really pretty – it just looked white to me.

There are trails near our house. That’s where we usually go walking. Other people and dogs share the trails with us and usually a few other animals as well. On this day we were walking along minding our own business. The snow covered up all my favorite smells so I paid attention to the cold, crunchiness of it as I stepped. We rounded a bend in the trail and there they were. Three coyotes attacking a little dog! Those coyotes took one look at me and ran off. The little dog ran the other way and and when his person showed up my person had to tell him which direction to go.

I knew I had to give those coyotes a what for so I went off after them. Boing-o! I came to the end of my leash. Come on person, what are you thinking? I’ve got to go get those coyotes. I looked back at my person and I couldn’t figure out what she was doing. She was lying on her stomach in the snow – still holding on to my leash. She’d gone all the way through the snow so she was really lying on red mud. I don’t know what she was thinking. All she had to do was let go of my leash. It would have been so simple.

32 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 31, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Coyote, Pet, Trail

Dog Lapping Heroes

30 Oct

My person keeps wanting to tell me stories from the Bible and she said this one doesn’t have any animals in it so I’m not sure if I want to hear it. I started to walk away until she told me there were three hundred men in the story who lapped water like dogs, and they were real heroes.

Okay, I’m listening now. If I can do what I do anyway and be a hero I want to know how.

My person said it all started with a dude named Gideon. He was minding his own business threshing wheat in a winepress (I think there’s something wrong with this picture) when the Angel of the Lord came to him and told him he –Gideon – was going to save his people from the Midianites. So now we have a dude and an angel in a winepress surrounded by a bunch of wheat. There’s really something wrong with this picture. Okay, back to that winepress thing – my person said Gideon was hiding in there so the Midianites wouldn’t steal his wheat – they did things like that.

Well Gideon looked at that Angel of the Lord and said, “Who me?”

And the Angel of the Lord said, “Yes, you.”

Gideon said, “Couldn’t be,” and tried to talk his way out of it.

Well that angel wouldn’t go for it, and Gideon knew if he didn’t do something it might just be him and that angel in the winepress and no wheat. He didn’t know if angels got hungry but he sure did, so Gideon got a bunch of guys together and started out after the Midianites. But the Lord told Gideon he had too many dudes, so Gideon let all the scared dudes go home and kept the brave ones. The Lord told Gideon he still had too many and he could only keep the ones who lapped water like a dog. I like those guys, really I do.

Gideon started out with thirty two thousand fighting guys and now he only had three hundred left, and the Lord said that was just right. I guess the Lord knows what He’s talking about, but that Midianite army was bigger than I’d want to tackle with a few dog lapping guys. Well, they waited until it was good and dark and snuck up on the Midianite’s camp. They blew their trumpets and let their torches shine and shouted, “The sword of the Lord and of Gideon.”

You know what? Those Midianites were so scared of those lapping water dudes that they went after each other and then they ran away.

I’d like to chase a whole army away, but when I lap water all I seem to manage to chase away is Scratchy the cat and the dry floor.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 30, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Dog, faith, Gideon, God