RSS

Category Archives: humor

No Place Safe

I’m so disappointed. You see this picture of Scratchy here? He did that for a dog. And that dog wasn’t me. He’s never done that for me.

I guess I’d better explain a few things. This picture was taken a few years ago – before I came to live here. My person says she used to have different kitchen cabinets, and they went all the way to the ceiling. Scratchy couldn’t escape by jumping on top of the cabinets, so he did the next best thing. He got as far away as possible and then, well, you know the rest.

Scratchy says (yes, I talk to Scratchy every once in awhile) that dog didn’t even live here. She just came to visit for a few days and Scratchy didn’t like it one little bit.

I really don’t think it’s fair that a visitor dog got Scratchy to do something that I can’t get him to do. Scratchy hung out on top of those kitchen cabinets for ten months after I came to live here, but never once did he arch his back like that for me. Would anyone like to help me with a fundraiser to pay for my person to put the old kitchen cabinets back?

Cabinet Cat (bongodogblog.wordpress.com)

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 29, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Cats and Dogs, Pets, Scratchy

Tuna or Beans?

28 Oct

Scratchy doesn’t eat much besides his cat food, but he loves tuna. When my person opens a can of tuna he comes running. I don’t know why, but my person gives him special treatment. She gives Scratchy all the tuna juice and I only get the leftovers. Whatever Scratchy doesn’t finish is what I get. It’s a good thing Scratchy’s only cat-sized because he gets more tuna juice than he can handle. Can you imagine if Scratchy was my size? I’d never get anything.

For some reason Scratchy thinks every can my person opens is a can of tuna. He hears that can opener going and he comes running to the kitchen. When he finds out my person just opened a can of beans he turns up his nose and walks away. I’ll take some beans.

No such luck. For some reason my person’s not in a sharing mood when she opens a can of vegetables. I’m not sure why.

10 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 28, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Pets, Scratchy, Tuna

Squeakers be Found

27 Oct

Hooray! My person cleaned out her closet and found the missing package of squeakers. You know what that means? Replacement squeakers for my silent toys. Now they can squeak again.

I don’t know if these toys get mad at me or what? They squeak along just fine and then one day they won’t make any sound at all. But my person fixed that. She bought a whole bag of squeakers – and then she lost them.

I thought maybe my younger person threw them away. He doesn’t like it when I squeak my toys. Sometimes he throws them behind the couch where I can’t reach them. I try to be good around him, but making that squeaky sound is so wonderful that I just can’t help myself. I especially like to play catch with my squeaky toys in between squeaking them. It’s almost as good as having a nice meaty bone – but not quite.

Oh, no! I thought my person was going to give my toys new squeakers and she threw them out instead. Why??? I did what!? My person said I chewed the toys up so much that the squeakers will just fall out. That can’t be. Never!

Do I have to wait all the way to Christmas before I get new toys?

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 27, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Squeak, Toy

Devil’s Kitchen

26 Oct

I’m beat. My person did it to me again. We went out for our walk, but when we got to the place we normally turn back we went the other way. We go that way sometimes, but not very often. We walked along for awhile on the trail and then my person took me on another trail. She said she’d never been on this trail before, but she was taking me someplace special. She’d been there, but she’d taken her car and walked on a much shorter trail. We could have gone in the car. I wouldn’t mind.

This new trail wasn’t bad. It was mostly downhill so we could go fast. I tried to follow a couple coyote trails that I smelled, but my person said it wasn’t the right way. How did she know? She said she’d never been on this trail before.

We didn’t see many people on the way, but I heard some strange voices coming out of Coffee Pot Rock. They were all tinny and echoey. I didn’t know that that rock could talk.

Well the rock got quiet when we walked around its base. I guess we scared it. I almost didn’t recognize the rock. It looks different when you’re that close.

The trail went past a really cool house.

One little part of the trail was actually a road and we had to get out of the way when a couple vehicles came by. It was hard enough to walk up and down that road. All steep and rocky. Those vehicles were going very slow.

We finally got to the special place. I ran right up to the edge to check it out. It was nothing but a big hole in the ground. My person said it’s called Devil’s Kitchen. An underground part became hollow first and then the whole thing fell in.

After checking out that hole we headed back home. My person didn’t tell me we were going to have to go uphill.

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 26, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, Outdoors, Pets, Photography, Recreation, Sedona, Sedona Arizona, Trail, Walking

Wait for Dinner

25 Oct

I think there’s some kind of double standard around here. At dinner time it’s my person’s job to feed Scratchy and my younger person’s job to feed me. Well, my person is usually somewhere near the kitchen so as soon as Scratchy says something she’s right there with the food. Then you know what she tells me? She tells me to go ask my younger person to feed me.

She’s right there in the kitchen – right near my food – and I have to go ask someone else for my dinner. My younger person is usually in his room on his computer or something and he won’t get up to feed me until he’s good and ready. I’m starving here. What makes it even worse is that Scratchy is sitting there savoring every bite and making sure I know about it.

At least my person could make Scratchy wait too, but she says she never used to feed him dinner. She says she used to feed Scratchy only once a day, but when I started stealing his food she had to feed him little bits more often.

Scratchy, I was trying to do you a favor here. You could stand to lose a little weight and I was trying to help you out. Instead you get fed twice a day now and I have to wait for my dinner. Don’t blame me, but I have to say I told you so. You’re going to be one fat cat.

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 25, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Food, Pets, Scratchy

Want a Kiss?

24 Oct

I think I’m in love. No, I’m not talking about a Mrs. Bongo. That’s not in the picture. Today I was walking along the trail minding my own business when this little girl came walking toward me. And man, oh man, this little girl was just the right height. We were face to face. Perfect for kissing. Those nice, big, juicy, slobbery kisses. I just love to give ‘em. And if someone wants to give me one back, that’s fine too.

But you know what? She kind of held me at a distance. You know how those things are. I like you a lot, but I just want to be friends. Talk about total rejection. Friends. And all I wanted to do was kiss her. I won’t even tell. I promise.

Total dejection. But I’m not the kind of dog that stays dejected for long. I’m up and at ‘em. Always on the go. Happy go lucky me. If she won’t kiss me I’ll do something else. I think I’ll go kiss her dad.

38 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 24, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Kiss, Pets, Relationships

Save the Animals

23 Oct

Nineveh

My person told me that animals are important to God and that there are lots of animal stories in the Bible. I didn’t believe her. Animals can’t read so why would they be in a book. My person told me you don’t have to be able to read – someone else can still write about you. Then she told me a story.

A long time ago there was a big city called Nineveh. Nineveh was full of bad people and because they were so bad God thought they needed to be destroyed. But God decided to give them one last chance so he told this dude named Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the people to repent.

Okay, okay – my person said this was about animals. I told my person she’d better stop telling me this story if it’s not going to be about animals. She told me to have patience, but she already knows that patience is not my middle name.

She finally put an animal in the story but it was a fish. I like fish – for dinner. Well, this fish decided to have Jonah for dinner. Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh because the people were so bad – so he got on a ship going the other direction. That made the fish happy because he got hold of Jonah and swallowed him. God wouldn’t let the fish keep Jonah though. He made that fish swim back to shore and spit Jonah out.

Okay – so there’s a hungry fish in the story. So what? My person said to have patience – there will be more animals. I’m rolling my eyes now. Finally that dude Jonah made it to Nineveh and told the people they had to change their ways – or else. The king of Nineveh made all the people and animals stop eating and drinking and put on sackcloth (ugly costumes) and call on God. Okay finally – there’s some animals with an important role even if they do have to go hungry and thirsty and wear ugly costumes.

Nineveh turned from its evil ways (I think it’s hard to be bad when you’re wearing ugly costumes – people laugh at you) and God told Jonah that He was happy that all the people and animals had been saved.

Jonah wasn’t very happy though. I think that fish needs to swallow him for good this time.

P.S. One of my blogging friends invited me to be a guest on her blog. It’s all about how I came to live with my people. You can find it here: http://thewriteplacethewritetime.wordpress.com/guest-bloggers/introducing-bongo/. After you read my story check out the rest of her blog too.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 23, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Book of Jonah, faith, Fish, God, Jonah, Nineveh

Super Dog

22 Oct

I’m in dire straits. My person said the pet store here doesn’t have any dog costumes that would fit me. I don’t know what to do. I tried using a towel as a cape, but it’s just not working. I just don’t feel like Super Dog. Maybe I could use the anxiety wrap that my person got me – but that doesn’t feel like a costume anymore – and besides, I’d rather put that away for good, or at least until next thunder season.

Maybe I could wrap Scratchy around my neck – after all, he is a black cat. He’d never go for it though. What to do, what to do. People clothes. I could put on one of my person’s T shirts. No, that would never work. I’d just look like a dog wearing a T shirt. I wouldn’t be anything special. I want to be something. I want to be some dog.

Hey, I’ve got it. Check this out. I had it all the time. All I had to do was sit up straight. Look at me. I’m Super Dog!

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

25 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 22, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Costume, Pets, Scratchy

Thunder Trucks

21 Oct

Things were a little frightening this morning. My person let me go outside as usual – so far, so good. We came back in and she fed Scratchy – always Scratchy first – I’m rolling my eyes here. Then she fed me, and before I could even stick my nose into my bowl it happened. The lights went out and there was a loud bang. It sounded like thunder – loud thunder like when it’s right near our house.

I was not a happy camper. As a matter of fact, I was quite scared. When it thunders once it almost always thunders more. I couldn’t even eat my breakfast. Then these things in the house started making beepy noises. I didn’t like that either. They might have been helping the thunder get ready to come back again. Finally my person opened a cabinet door, moved a black box, pushed a button and the beepy noises stopped.

While all this was going on some white trucks invaded our neighborhood. They must have been there to keep the thunder from coming back because it never thundered any more, but the lights did come back on. Those trucks must be new because there weren’t any around the last time we had thunder. I sure hope they come back next time we have a storm.

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 21, 2011 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Scratchy, Thunder

Best Toys

20 Oct

I’m really bummed. My person said that I’m not allowed to post to my blog anymore unless I share it with Scratchy sometimes. Okay, I guess so. Scratchy, it’s your turn now.

Hi everybody. It’s me, Scratchy. This is fun taking over Bongo’s blog and I don’t even have to sneak this time. My person made Bongo let me write. I thought I’d tell you about my absolutely favorite kind of toy in the world. I just love playing with chenille wires. My person says they used to call them pipe cleaners, but hardly anyone smokes a pipe anymore and they (whoever decides what to call things) probably didn’t want kids making crafts out of something that’s used to clean a pipe.

The first time I discovered how much fun these chenille things are I had to steal them from my younger person. That was when he was even more younger and still did crafts. Now that my person knows that I like them she gives them to me sometimes. It’s great fun to toss them around and pretend I’ve caught a mouse.

Scratchy – I’m taking my blog back. What you’re writing is so boring. Who cares about chenille wires. Balls and Frisbees are so much more fun – or maybe a squeaky stuffed animal – shaped like a cat.