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Take up your Cross

07 Jul
English: Christ Handing the Keys to St. Peter ...

English: Christ Handing the Keys to St. Peter by Pietro Perugino (1481-82) Fresco, 335 x 550 cm Cappella Sistina, Vatican. Ελληνικά: Λεπτομέρεια από την νωπογραφία του Πιέτρο Περουτζίνο, Ο Χριστός Παραδίδει τα Κλειδιά στον Πέτρο, 335 x 600 cm, Καπέλα Σιξτίνα, Πόλη του Βατικανού. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, I don’t know if I like this next Bible story. Can’t you just tell another one about swimming – or fishing?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story. But if there’s no fish in it I want some treats when you’re finished.

***

Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi and he asked his disciples, “Who do people say I am?”

***

I know who he is. He’s the guy who makes lots of fish appear.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

The disciples replied to Jesus, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

“But what about you?” Jesus asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

***

God must really love us to send His Son to give us lots of fish.

I am listening, but don’t you think that was a really important observation I just made?

***

Jesus told Peter he was blessed because it was the Father in heaven who revealed to him who Jesus is, and He told His disciples not to tell anyone that He is the Christ.

Then He began to explain to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and teachers of the law, and that He must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

***

Wouldn’t the disciples protect Jesus?

***

Peter had that idea and he began to rebuke Jesus saying, “Never, Lord. This shall never happen to you!”

***

I bet Jesus felt better after that.

***

This is what Jesus said to Peter. “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

***

I bet Peter tucked his tail between his legs after that.

***

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

***

If I have to deny myself to follow Jesus, does that mean I have to give up treats?

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Sinking Feeling

30 Jun
Ivan Aivazovsky's painting Walking on Water (1888)

Ivan Aivazovsky’s painting Walking on Water (1888) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can we go back to last week’s Bible story, person? The one where Jesus fed all those people and they had lots of leftovers for me?

What? You’re going to tell me a different story? Well, there’d better be food in it then.

***

After Jesus fed all the people…

***

And I ate the leftovers.

I am listening.

***

Jesus urged his disciples to get into the boat and head across the lake for Capernaum while He dismissed the crowd.

After the crowd left, Jesus went up on a mountain to pray and when evening came he was there alone.

***

I wonder if Jesus would like me to come and give him some loves.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The boat the disciples were in was already way out on the lake and it was being tossed around on the waves because the wind was against it.

***

I hope those disciples didn’t get sea sick.

***

In the middle of the night Jesus took a walk on the lake and headed for the disciples. When the disciples saw Jesus they thought He was a ghost and they were terrified.

But Jesus told them it was Him and said not to be afraid.

***

I wouldn’t be afraid. I’d jump into the water with Jesus.

I wonder if he has any sticks for me to fetch.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Peter said, “Lord, if it’s you tell me to come to you on the water.

Jesus said, “Come.”

Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.

***

Did Peter jump right in with a big splash. That’s what I would do.

***

When Peter saw the wind he was afraid and began to sink. He cried out to Jesus, “Lord, save me!”

***

Why doesn’t Peter just do the dog paddle?

***

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught Peter. And Jesus said to Peter, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When Jesus and Peter climbed into the boat the wind died down. Those who were in the boat worshiped Jesus and said, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

***

I sure hope that when Peter started sinking he felt some fish swimming around his feet and grabbed them. All this walking on water is making me hungry.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on June 30, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Two Fish and Five Loaves

23 Jun
English: Jesus feeding a crowd with 5 loaves o...

English: Jesus feeding a crowd with 5 loaves of bread and two fish (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alright! Coming up is one of my favorite stories about Jesus.

It’s a food story, and for those of you who know me, you know that food is one of my favorite things.

Okay person, I’m listening. Bring on the food!

***

People were coming and going so much that Jesus and his disciples didn’t have a chance to eat…

***

Wait a minute! I thought this was a story about food. Not a story about no food.

I’ll listen. But it’s hard to have patience when you’re hungry.

***

So Jesus took the disciples and they went away to a quiet place by boat.

But many people saw them leaving and they ran ahead, so that when Jesus landed on shore he saw a large crowd.

Jesus had compassion on the people and He healed their sick and began teaching them many things.

***

So where’s the food?

I’m running out of patience.

***

Late in the day the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”

***

You mean there wasn’t any food there?

I am listening.

***

But Jesus said to the disciples, “You give them something to eat.”

“What?” the disciples said. “It would take eight months wages to feed all these people. How are we going to do that?”

Jesus said, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”

They found a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish.

***

Fish? Did you say fish? There’s not enough fish for all those people. You’d better give the fish to me.

I am settled down. Do I get the fish now?

***

Jesus directed the people to sit down in groups on the grass.

Jesus took the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

He gave them to the disciples to give to the people.

***

Here I am. I’m sitting in a group of my own. Bring on the fish!

***

When the food was distributed to the people and they had eaten everything they wanted, the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.

The number of people who had eaten was about five thousand men, plus the women and children.

***

What are they going to do with those leftovers? They shouldn’t let them go to waste.

Hey Jesus! Over here! I’ll take care of those leftovers for you.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Sending Them Off

16 Jun
Jesus Discourses with His Disciples

Jesus Discourses with His Disciples (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What? Jesus is sending His disciples away? You’d think after they were mean to him in his own hometown of Nazareth that He’d want to keep his disciples close by for support.

What do you mean, you want me to listen to a story? Jesus is all alone now. Where’s the story?

What do you mean, Jesus is never alone?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus called his twelve disciples to Him and He gave them power and authority to drive out demons and to cure diseases, and He sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.

***

You mean now the disciples could do all that miracle stuff that Jesus did?

You mean they can get me some fish?

But what would they need Jesus for if they could do it themselves?

They needed His authority? I don’t get it.

I’m listening.

***

Jesus told the disciples to take nothing for the journey – no bag, no bread, no money, and no extra tunic.

***

How are they going to eat? I’m getting hungry thinking about it.

I don’t need that stuff they’re leaving behind because you feed me, but what about them? You’re not going to feed them too, are you?

I am listening.

***

Jesus told the disciples that the worker is worth his keep. When they entered a town or village they were to find a worthy person and stay at his house until they left that place.

***

Now I get it. They would go heal people and preach about God so someone would feed them because they were doing that.

But what happens if they can’t find anyone to do that? Would they be like stray dogs then?

***

Jesus said that if the people didn’t welcome them they were to shake the dust off their feet when they left as a testimony against them.

***

Shake the dust off their feet? Is that kind of like when I kick up dust to cover my business?

 
15 Comments

Posted by on June 16, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Prophet in His Hometown

09 Jun

GregOlsonWhat do you mean, you’re going to tell me a short story? I can stretch out a story for a long time. There’s no such thing as a short Bible story for me.

I’m going to ask lots of questions, so don’t think I’m not listening when you tell me the story.

***

Jesus went to his hometown of Nazareth and his disciples went with him.

***

Was Jesus going to a big family reunion?

Of course I’m listening. I told you I was going to ask lots of questions.

***

When the Sabbath came…

***

What’s the Sabbath? I’ll listen if you tell me.

***

The Sabbath is a day to rest and to worship God. So when the Sabbath came Jesus began to teach in the synagogue and many who heard Him were amazed.

***

I would be amazed if I heard Jesus too.

What do you mean, that’s not a question?

***

The people couldn’t figure out how Jesus got such wisdom and could even perform miracles. After all, they knew Him when he was growing up.

The people said, “Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon? Aren’t His sister’s here with us?” And…

***

It sounds like Jesus was having a big family reunion. He had a big family.

I shouldn’t always have to ask a question. I asked one last time.

***

the people of Nazareth took offense at Jesus.

***

That wasn’t very nice of them.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said to the people, “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.”

***

That’s why I don’t get any respect around here.

Do you know what those cats did?

***

Jesus couldn’t do any miracles in Nazareth, except lay hands on a few sick people and heal them, because of their lack of faith.

***

So you mean that even Jesus can’t do miracles if the people don’t have faith?

I have faith. I have faith that Jesus can make some fish appear for me.

Wait, you mean that’s the end of the story?

Can I ask another question?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 9, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Miracle within a Miracle

02 Jun
English: Raising of Jairus' Daughter by Wassil...

English: Raising of Jairus’ Daughter by Wassilij Dimitriewitsch Polenow. Stamp of Russia, 2000, a commemorative issue for 2000th Anniversary of the Birth of Jesus Русский: 2000-летие Рождества Христова. Почтовая марка России 2000 года (серия из 4 марок и одного блока). Изображена картина Поленова «Воскрешение дочери Иаира» (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jesus sure has been busy. He calmed a storm and sent a bunch of demons out of a man into a herd of pigs all in one day. I bet he’s going to go home and take a nap now.

What, no nap?

Oh yeah, I forgot. He already took a nap. In the boat while that storm was going on.

So what’s Jesus gonna do now?

***

Jesus went by boat back to the other side of the lake, to Capernaum. When he returned a large crowd welcomed him.

***

I bet that crowd was worried about the pigs that jumped into the water.

What? They didn’t care about those pigs? All that bacon?

Jesus’ people didn’t eat pigs? Well, at least they ate fish.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

While Jesus was by the lake a synagogue ruler named Jairus came and fell at Jesus’ feet. Jairus told Jesus that his little daughter was dying and he pleaded with Jesus to come heal her. So Jesus went with Jairus.

A large crowd followed Jesus and pressed around him, and a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years and had spent all her money on doctors who couldn’t heal her, came up behind Jesus and touched his cloak. She thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”

***

Does Jesus have magic clothes, too?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The woman’s bleeding stopped when she touched Jesus’ cloak and Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

The disciples told Jesus that the crowd was all around him, but Jesus kept looking around.

And the woman came and fell at his feet, and trembling with fear, she told him the truth.

Jesus said to her,”Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

***

So if I have faith that I will get fish, will I get some?

I am listening.

***

While Jesus was still speaking some men came from Jairus’ house and told him his daughter was dead and he didn’t need to bother Jesus any more.

But Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Jesus would only let Peter, James, and John follow him and when they got to the house people were crying and wailing loudly.

***

I bet Jesus would have let me come too. I can wail really well.

I’m listening.

***

Jesus told them to stop wailing and said, “The child is not dead but asleep.”

All the people there laughed at him.

***

I bet if Jesus gave them some fish they’d stop laughing.

***

Jesus took the child’s father and mother and the three disciples with him to where the little girl was. He took her by the hand and said, “My child, get up!”

The little girl immediately stood up and Jesus gave orders not to let anyone know about this and told them to give her something to eat.

***

I bet that little girl isn’t very hungry yet. She’ll probably share some of her food with me.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on June 2, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Calm the Storm

19 May

Jesus calming the stormOne day when Jesus was waiting for all the seeds to grow into good food…

I know that’s not how the story goes, but don’t you agree it’s better if there’s food in the story?

Okay, I’ll listen to the right story.

***

One day when Jesus had a crowd around Him He said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.”

So they got into a boat and set out.

***

I hope they brought their fishing nets.

I am listening.

***

While they were sailing, Jesus fell asleep.

Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake and the waves swept over the boat.

***

Hold on to those fishing nets, disciples!

***

The disciples woke Jesus up and said to Him, “Don’t you care if we drown?”

Jesus got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”

The wind died down and it was completely calm.

***

Time for fishing now.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?

The disciples were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and waves obey Him!”

***

The fish obey Jesus too. Maybe he could have a few jump into the boat.

Hey guys, wait for me! I don’t want to miss any of those fish!

 
17 Comments

Posted by on May 19, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Dinner at Last

05 May
Deutsch: Christus im Hause des Pharisäers, Jac...

Deutsch: Christus im Hause des Pharisäers, Jacopo Tintoretto, Escorial (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Finally! Jesus is going to dinner. I think I’ll tag along and pretend I’m his dog. They’ll have to let me in.

What do you mean they might not let dogs come? They let that lady come and she wasn’t even invited.

Yes, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to dinner.

***

I wonder if they’re having fish for dinner.

I’m listening – I’m listening.

***

A woman who’d lived a sinful life found out Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. She showed up with an alabaster jar of perfume.

***

I hope they invited her in and gave her some fish.

I am too listening.

***

The woman stood at Jesus’ feet weeping. She began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and poured perfume on them.

Simon the Pharisee thought to himself that if Jesus was really a prophet He would know that this woman who touched Him was a sinner.

***

I wouldn’t care who that woman was if I got loves. Maybe not on the feet though.

Can I get loves while I listen?

***

Jesus knew what Simon was thinking and He told Simon a story.

“Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both.”

Then Jesus asked Simon which of the two would love the moneylender more.

Simon replied that he thought it would be the one with the bigger debt canceled and Jesus told him he was right.

***

This is where Jesus gives Simon what for, isn’t it?

I am listening. I’m just trying to help you along.

***

Jesus told Simon that when He came into his house Simon hadn’t given him any water to wash His feet, but the woman had washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. Simon had not given Jesus a kiss, but the woman had not stopped kissing His feet. Simon had not put oil on Jesus’ head, but the woman poured perfume on His feet.

Jesus told the woman her many sins were forgiven because she had loved much. And He said that he who has been forgiven little loves little.

The other dinner guests began mumbling among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

***

Would Jesus forgive my sins? I’ll kiss His feet.

Oh wait, I forgot. I’m the perfect dog. I don’t have any sins to forgive.

***

Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

***

I think that woman should have kept hanging out. She probably would have gotten some fish. Oh well, that’s okay. All the more for me.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on May 5, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Say the Word

28 Apr
English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centur...

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centurion by Paolo Veronese Source: http://www.artst.org/mannerism/veronese/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Jesus having another fish dinner yet?

What do you mean, I’m out of luck? I know Jesus can have fish dinner whenever He wants.

Oh, He healed somebody else? But it was different than before?

I guess I’ll listen. I like miracles.

***

There was a Roman centurion in Capernaum who was highly thought of by the Jews. He loved the nation of Israel and had built a synagogue for them.

***

Did he give treats to the dogs?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

This centurion had a servant whom he valued highly who was sick and about to die. When he heard of Jesus he sent some of the elders of the Jews to Him, asking Him if he would heal the servant. The Jews told Jesus that the man deserved to have Him do this.

Jesus went with the men, but when he was near the house the centurion sent some friends to tell Jesus that he didn’t deserve to have him come under his roof, and that he hadn’t come himself because he didn’t feel worthy to come to Jesus.

***

Jesus could come to my house then.

As long as he brings fish, that is.

I am listening.

***

The centurion told Jesus to say the word, and his servant would be healed.

***

What if Jesus said the word and fish appeared?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was amazed at this centurion and He turned to the crowd following Him and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

The men the centurion had sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

***

Good. Jesus is finished healing. I bet he’s hungry now. I think I’ll go hang around and see if I can get an invite to dinner.

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Still Looking for the Fish

21 Apr

Jesus healing at the Pool of Bethesda

Another feast!? Jesus is going to a feast?

I hope I get invited. There’s good food at those feasts.

What do you mean, this story isn’t about the feast? What else could be better than a feast?

Oh. Another miracle, huh? You mean like when Jesus fed all those people?

What do you mean, those weren’t the only miracles Jesus did?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When Jesus was in Jerusalem for a feast he stopped by a pool called Bethesda. A great number of disabled people hung out there. An angel went down at a certain time and stirred up the water and whoever stepped in first after that was healed.

***

That sounds like a good place to go swimming.

What do you mean dogs probably weren’t allowed in that pool?

I am listening.

***

One of the people at the pool had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus saw him lying there and learned he’d been in that condition for a long time and he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid told Jesus that he had no one to help him into the pool, so when the water was stirred someone always beat him into it.

Jesus said to the man, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

The man was immediately made well and he picked up his mat and walked.

***

I bet that man was so happy he ran out and got some fish. And he had so much he shared it with me.

I am not totally focused on fish. Any kind of food will do.

I am listening, but I just had to throw in that fish part.

***

The Jews saw the healed man carrying his mat and they gave him what for because it was the Sabbath and it was against the law to carry a mat on the Sabbath.

But it was one of the laws that people had added to God’s laws.

***

So if people make a law we shouldn’t have to follow it? Like I shouldn’t have to be on a leash?

What do you mean that’s not the same?

***

Jesus was making a point because so many things had been added to the Sabbath that it was impossible to follow them.

But because Jesus was healing on the Sabbath the Jews persecuted him.

***

Does that mean Jesus can’t feed everybody on the Sabbath? I’d better hang out with him on the other days of the week.

 

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 21, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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