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Tag Archives: Jesus

Up in the Sky

08 Jun

Jesus ascending to heavenI’ve been out swimming – I mean baptizing – since you told me that story last week.

But I haven’t seen Jesus hanging around.

Isn’t He supposed to be with us?

I was kind of hoping He’d send some fish along while we’re out in all that water.

Okay, I’ll stop swimming long enough to listen.

But only if the story’s short.

***

Jesus said to the disciples, “You will receive Power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

***

Oh, maybe I’m still waiting for the Holy Spirit.

Then I’ll see some fish.

***

After Jesus said this, He was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid Him from their sight.

***

Now that’s freaky.

Maybe Jesus is going to send fish raining down.

I am listening.

***

The disciples were looking intently up into the sky as Jesus was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them.

***

Hey wait a minute.

I wanted fish, not people.

Those two men better give me loves at least.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“Men of Galilee,” the men in white said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky?”

***

Are those men dumb or what?

Oh, maybe they didn’t see Jesus going into the sky.

***

The men continued, “This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen Him go into heaven.”

***

Oh, now I get it.

I think.

Jesus is with us, but He’s in heaven, but He’s coming back.

Oh, umm.

Where’s Jesus now?

This is too much for me to think about.

Where’s the fish?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on June 8, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Sending Out

01 Jun

Bloch-Sermon on the MountI’m not ready to hear another story.

I’m still hanging out on that beach eating up the fish that Jesus cooked.

Just give me a few seconds.

I’ll have it all gulped down.

Oh alright, I’ll listen.

***

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus told them to go. When they saw Him they worshiped him; but some doubted.

***

I bet if Jesus had cooked up another batch of fish they wouldn’t have doubted.

I am listening.

***

Then Jesus came to them and said, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.”

***

Didn’t a lot of people have trouble reading back then?

How would they know Jesus wasn’t making everything up?

They did?

They told stories like you tell me?

And I thought I was special.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

***

If they’re going to preach to the dog nations I hope they’ll explain what those big words mean.

Or maybe they don’t have to.

Us dogs never sin.

We just do mischief.

***

Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

***

If Jesus is with me to the end of the age I’ll for sure make disciples and baptize them.

Baptizing is kind of like swimming, isn’t it?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 1, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Feed My Sheep

25 May

Feed My Lambs - James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsLast week there were so many fish in that Bible story.

Can we just do that story again this week?

What do you mean, I can go back and read it.

It’s not the same as hearing it.

Besides, I can’t read.

Oh alright, I’ll listen to the next story.

***

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”

***

I bet he really does love Jesus after Jesus helped him catch all that fish.

Well, is there a better reason to love someone besides food?

***

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, ‘you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

***

I’ll feed Jesus’ lambs if He helps me catch fish.

I am listening.

***

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

***

Jesus has sheep?

***

The third time He said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

***

I think I’d better get my herding type friends to help Peter.

Jesus might have a lot of sheep.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to Peter, “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”

***

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have hands.

Nobody can stretch mine out.

***

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then He said to him, “Follow me!”

***

Whoa!

If you follow Jesus you get fish, but then you might die for Him?

I have to think about this.

***

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

***

I guess Peter was thinking about it too.

***

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

***

I guess that says that.

***

Because of this, the rumor spread among the brothers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

***

I don’t think that guy’s dead yet.

I wonder if he has any fish left.

I think I’ll go look for him.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on May 25, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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So Many Fish

18 May

James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsI have been waiting for this story forever.

It’s about one of my favorite things.

Fish!

I bet Jesus was even better at making fish appear after He was resurrected.

Yes, of course I’m listening.

***

Afterward Jesus appeared again to His disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.”So they went out and got into the boat…

***

Hey, wait for me!

I am too listening.

***

But that night they caught nothing.

***

Don’t tell them I ate all the fish already.

I was just hoping they’d catch more.

***

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

He called to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

***

I hope Jesus doesn’t know I was swimming in the lake eating the fish.

***

Jesus said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

***

Here I go! Off to the right side of the boat.

***

When they threw their net over they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

***

Hey guys, I’ll help you with those fish.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish…

***

…and one dog.

***

…for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

***

All that fish and bread too!?

***

Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”

***

Oops!

Jesus will understand that I ate mine – won’t He?

***

Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

***

They are sharing, aren’t they?

I mean, that’s a lot of fish.

***

None of the disciples dared ask Him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to His disciples after He was raised from the dead.

***

That must have been a dream come true for those disciples.

But since we don’t have any fish here there’s something I need to know.

When’s Jesus coming to my house?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on May 18, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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How to be Blessed

11 May

Caravaggio - The Incredulity of Saint ThomasPopping, popping popping!

Jesus has been popping in and out all over the place ever since He resurrected.

But how come He missed Thomas when He popped in to see the disciples?

I mean, wouldn’t Thomas feel really left out?

I would doubt too if everybody but me said they saw Jesus.

What?

If I listen, Thomas might get to see Jesus?

Okay, I’ll listen for Thomas.

***

A week after Jesus had popped in to see all the disciples but Thomas they were in the house again, and Thomas was with them.

***

I bet Thomas didn’t let the rest of those disciples out of his sight after missing Jesus the last time.

I am listening.

***

Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace be with you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

***

I bet Thomas didn’t like putting his finger on Jesus’ owies.

Me, I’d just lick them.

***

Thomas said to Jesus, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

***

Does that mean I’m blessed?

 
11 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Popping In

04 May

Jesus Appears to the Disciples - watercolor by William Brassey HolePerson, last week you told me that after Jesus disappeared from his tomb He kept popping up here and there.

Sometimes He’d show up and sometimes He’d disappear.

So now you’re telling me He’s still popping up?

I like to jump up and down a lot, but I’m not sure I can keep up with Jesus’ popping up.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”

***

Wait a minute!

This is too much.

You mean Jesus popped right through that locked door?

Are you sure He didn’t knock first and one of the disciples let Him in?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

After He said this, He showed them His hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

***

So you mean, if Jesus’ hands and side were all healed the disciples wouldn’t know it was Him?

How come He didn’t show His hands and side to those other disciples?

You know, the two that He walked along the road with.

I am listening.

***

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”

***

Where is Jesus sending them?

Maybe He’s sending them to walk on my trails with me.

That would be cool!

I’m listening. But wouldn’t it be better if the disciples were here and I could listen to them?

I bet they’d have some pretty good stories to tell.

***

And with that Jesus breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

***

I guess those disciples need to go to someone else.

I don’t have any sins to forgive.

***

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it.”

***

I sure hope Jesus pops in again when Thomas is around.

Otherwise Thomas will be a doubter forever.

Maybe if he makes Jesus some popcorn…

 
8 Comments

Posted by on May 4, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Walking Along

27 Apr

The Road to Emmaus - Carl BlochI really need to attach Jesus to my leash.

First He tells Mary Magdalene not to hold onto Him, and sends her away to talk to the disciples.

Now you’re telling me he just popped up somewhere else?

I’m listening.

I’ve got to figure out where Jesus is going so I can follow.

***

Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem.

***

How come you never take me on seven mile walks, person?

I am listening.

***

They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing Him.

***

Did Jesus disguise Himself, or what?

Nobody seems to be recognizing Him.

***

Jesus asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked Him, “Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

“What things?” He asked.

***

I don’t get it.

Was Jesus pulling their legs?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed Him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified Him; but we had hoped that He was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find His body.

***

No wonder they didn’t find Jesus’ body.

He keeps popping up all over the place.

I guess it wasn’t any fun staying in that tomb, so He didn’t

***

They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said He was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but Him they did not see.”

***

They just have to wait until Jesus decides to pop up.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter His glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning Himself.

***

Did He tell them Bible stories?

I like Bible stories.

***

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if He were going farther. But they urged Him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So He went in to stay with them.

***

You mean Jesus actually stayed there?

I thought He was just popping in and out.

***

When Jesus was at the table with them, He took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him, and He disappeared from their sight.

***

I guess He really was popping in and out.

***

They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem.

***

Too bad they couldn’t just pop back to Jerusalem.

They had to walk seven miles in the dark.

Hey person, you don’t have to take me on that kind of walk.

***

In Jerusalem they found the Eleven (disciples) and those with them, assembled together and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.”

***

More popping.

***

Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when He broke the bread.

***

Jesus even had food.

I’m for sure attaching Him to my leash as soon as He pops in here.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on April 27, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Peeking into the Tomb

20 Apr

Alexander_Ivanov_-_Christ's_Appearance_to_Mary_Magdalene_after_the_Resurrection_-_Google_Art_ProjectPerson, I’ve been waiting all week because you told me there’s more to the story.

But I don’t know how there can be.

I mean, they nailed Jesus to a cross and He died.

Isn’t that the end of the story?

I’m listening, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to say.

***

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.

***

I knew it!

There’s no more story about Jesus. You’re telling me a story about Mary Magdalene.

I have to have patience???

***

So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

***

Why would anyone want to take Jesus if He already died?

I am listening.

***

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.

***

I bet I could have run faster.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside.

***

It’s about time.

***

He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

***

Jesus had to what!?

I’m listening for sure now.

***

Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying.

***

Maybe if I gave her some loves she’d feel better.

***

As Mary wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

***

I knew it!

This story isn’t about Jesus. It’s about angels showing up instead.

I’ll listen! I’ll listen!

***

The angels asked Mary, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this she turned and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

***

I would have known it was Jesus.

***

“Woman,” Jesus said, “why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking He was the gardener she said, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means teacher).

***

Maybe Mary Magdalene was blind. She only recognized Jesus when she heard Him say her name.

***

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that He had said these things to her.

***

I don’t care what Jesus said. I wouldn’t have let go of him.

I would have attached Him to my leash or something so He couldn’t go missing again.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on April 20, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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It’s Not Over Yet

13 Apr
Jesus Crucifixion

Photo taken by Kabir Bakie at the Cincinnati Zoo

Hey person, I’ve been worried all week about what’s going to happen to Jesus.

You ended the story too soon.

They arrested Him, but I don’t know what happened after that.

He didn’t do anything wrong.

They let Him go, didn’t they?

What!?

They didn’t!

Those garbaldy goo good for nothing people that arrested Him. I’ll give them what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was put on trial and even though Pilate, the Roman governor, didn’t find anything he’d done wrong the Jews wanted Him crucified.

So Pilate finally agreed and sent Jesus to be crucified.

***

I’m giving Pilate what for too!

I am listening.

***

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with Jesus to be executed.

When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified Him, along with the criminals – one on His right, the other on His left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

***

I don’t get it. They just nailed Jesus to a cross and He wants to forgive them?

I’m gonna give them all what for.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

And they divided up Jesus’ clothes by casting lots.

***

It’s too bad I don’t wear clothes, or I’d give Him some of mine.

***

The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at Him. They said, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”

***

Those rulers better watch it. If Jesus doesn’t give them what for I sure will.

***

The soldiers also came up and mocked Him. They offered him wine vinegar and said “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

There was a written notice above Him, which read: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

***

How come those people don’t believe what they’re reading?

They should be worshipping The King of the Jews.

***

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at Him: “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.

***

I don’t get it. The only man who is making any sense is hanging on a cross along with Jesus.

***

Then the man said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

***

I bet that upset all the people who were giving Jesus a bad time.

I’m listening.

***

It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining.

***

That was what time?

The middle of the day?

***

And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When He had said this He breathed His last.

***

What!?

That’s not how the story’s supposed to end.

It doesn’t end there?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.”

***

That’s it!?

That’s the end?

Oh. It’s not over yet?

What do you mean, I have to wait till next Sunday to hear the rest of the story?

This is gonna be a long week.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on April 13, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Arrested!

06 Apr

Giuseppe Cesari [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsWhat? What?

What are you disturbing my nap for?

Jesus just woke up His disciples and told them His betrayer is coming?

Where?

What betrayer?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

While He was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them.

***

Maybe they wanted to invite Jesus to a party.

I am listening.

***

Judas approached Jesus to kiss him…

***

See, I told you.

***

but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?

***

Oh, it was a sneaky kiss.

Better to hang out with a dog and get slobbery kisses.

***

When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

***

That’s telling them.

I wish I’d been there. I really would have given that crowd what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And He touched the man’s ear and healed him.

“Put your sword away!”

***

That man’s about to arrest Jesus and He heals him?

I don’t get it.

***

Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for Him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour – when darkness reigns.”

***

Didn’t they have any flashlights?

 
7 Comments

Posted by on April 6, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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