RSS

Tag Archives: Jesus

How Big is a Needle’s Eye?

19 Jan

I’m still waiting for all those loves from Jesus.

Maybe he’s waiting until you tell me another story about Him.

Maybe He’ll give me loves while you’re telling it.

So I’m listening.

***

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

***

You’ve got to hang out with Jesus for that eternal life stuff. Even I know that.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied.

“There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.”

“Which ones?” the man inquired.

Jesus replied, “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

***

That’s me all over!

What do you mean, I sometimes accuse Scratchy of doing things that I really did?

He did too do all those things!

I always honor you and do what you say. After all, I’m the perfect dog.

I ran off? Oh, um – I came back to you didn’t I?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“All these things I have kept,” the young man said.

***

See, that man and I are two of a kind.

***

The man asked, “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

***

Wait, does that mean I have to sell all my treats?

Oh, I can do that. Jesus gives out fish.

***

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

***

Young man, come back, come back. Jesus will give you all the fish you want!

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

***

It’s a good thing I’m just a poor dog – and a lot smaller than a camel.

Wait, how big is the eye of a needle?

***

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

***

Whew! I was beginning to worry.

I just found out how big one of those needle’s eyes is.

7 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 19, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Jesus, Pets, rich young ruler

Children and Loves

12 Jan

I’ve been eating humble pie since last week’s Bible story so I can get extra treats. And I still don’t have any.

And humble pie doesn’t taste very good.

Maybe if I can figure out a way to get to the top of the refrigerator I can pull all the treats down – and eat them.

What!? You’re going to tell me a story where Jesus rebuked his disciples?

And he’s going to rebuke me too if I do what I just said?

Do I get extra treats if He rebukes me?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him place His hands on them and pray for them, but the disciples rebuked the people who brought them.

***

Did the disciples give all those people treats?

What do you mean, rebuke doesn’t mean giving out treats? What else could it mean?

***

When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

***

Is it alright if I hinder those little children so I can get some loves?

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

***

I can act as childish as you want.

What do you mean, sit and listen?

***

Jesus took the children in His arms, put His hands on them, and blessed them.

***

Alright! Jesus gives out loves.

I’m standing in line.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 12, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, bless, children, Christianity, disciples, faith, Jesus, loves, Pets, Treats

Confident or Humble?

05 Jan

I’m still praying for those treats and you’re going to tell me another of Jesus’ Pair a Bulls?

I’m not finished with the last one yet. There sure are a lot of bulls around here.

If I listen do I get some treats?

What!? I’ve got to listen before I can have some treats?

Oh, all right.

***

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:

***

I’m confident.

Is Jesus telling this to me?

What do you mean, if I listen I’ll find out?

***

Jesus said, “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’”

***

Wow, that guy thinks he’s pretty good.

I wonder if he’s nice to dogs.

I’m listening.

***

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”

***

I bet that guy feels bad because nobody likes tax collectors.

I’ll give him loves – if he gives me treats.

***

Then Jesus said, “I tell you that this man – the tax collector – , rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

***

I’m the humblest dog around.

Now do I get my treats?

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 5, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, Jesus, parable, Pets, Pharisee, Prayer, Tax collector

Keep Bugging

29 Dec

English: Illustration of the Parable of the Unjust Judge from the New Testament Gospel of Luke (Luke 18:1-9) by John Everett Millais for The Parables of Our Lord (1863) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, I think that faith thing does work.

Remember last week when I said I had faith that I would get treats?

Well, I did get treats for Christmas so my faith did work.

I’m supposed to what?

I’m supposed to thank Jesus for the treats my faith brought?

Maybe you should just tell me another story.

***

Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

***

Jesus is telling another one of those Pair a Bulls?

They must have had a lot of bulls around in His day.

I am listening.

***

Jesus said, “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’”

***

Did that widow have to keep getting appointments to see the judge? I bet she had a really big phone bill from making all those phone calls for appointments.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

“For some time the judge refused to grant the widow justice. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

***

See person. That’s why I keep bugging you until I get what I want. You know that I won’t quit until I get it and you get tired of my bugging.

What, there’s more?

***

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”

***

I have faith.

My faith brought me treats.

Thank you Jesus.

I have faith and treats.

Well, I used to have treats.

I think I need more faith treats.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Parable of the Unjust Judge, Pets, Prayer, Religion and Spirituality, Son of man

Flames on My Trails

24 Dec

This is terrible!

Someone is trying to burn down my trails.

I walked around a corner and found this Manzanita bush on fire.

What am I going to do?

My puddle is a long ways away and there’s no other water around to put this fire out with.

I couldn’t bear it if my trails burned down.

How would I have any adventures if there was nothing left but black char?

Maybe if I blow on it hard enough and kick up enough dirt the fire will go out.

Oh no! There’s more fire here.

I’ll never be able to get it all out in time.

Run for it!

Call 911!

Do you think they have a fire truck that’s skinny enough to drive down my trails?

Hey, wait a minute.

These bushes are on fire but they’re not burning up.

This is kind of like the burning bush that Moses saw.

Maybe God lit this fire to remind us of Christmas.

You know, Jesus being born and all that?

I’m not sure about God’s color choice though.

Shouldn’t these bushes be burning in red and green?

I guess you never know about God. He seems to have a mind of His own.

Hey person, I think we’re doing it all wrong.

You’ve got to take down all those red and green lights on our house and put up orange ones.

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 24, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Burning bush, Christmas, flames, God, Jesus, manzanita, Moses, Pets, Photography, Trail

Thanks for the Healing

22 Dec

Jesus sure has a lot of adventures. I think I should travel with him for awhile.

I’d have all kinds of things to put on my blog.

Maybe I could pretend that His adventures were really mine.

What do you mean that wouldn’t work?

I bet I could do miracles if I tried.

I licked you ankle once and it got better.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

On His way to Jerusalem Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.

***

Is that a long ways away? Do I have to go all that way to have adventures with Jesus?

Maybe He could come over here.

I am listening.

***

As Jesus was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met Him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

***

Good thing they stayed at a distance. I bet Jesus didn’t want to catch leprosy from them.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

When Jesus saw them He said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.”And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him – and he was a Samaritan.

***

Was that like the good Samaritan?

What? The Jews didn’t like the Samaritans and Jesus was a Jew?

That Samaritan must have been pretty brave to come back.

***

Jesus asked the Samaritan, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then He said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

***

I wonder if faith works for other things besides making people well.

I have faith that I will get treats.

If I close my eyes and say, “My faith has brought me treats,” will it work?

Hey! I don’t see any treats here.

My faith has brought me treats. My faith has brought me treats.

10 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, God, Jesus, Jews, Leprosy, Pets, Samaritan

Raising the Dead

15 Dec

English: Raising of Lazarus by Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wait a minute. I’m confused.

Last week you told me a story about Lazarus. You said he died and went to heaven.

Now you’re trying to tell me that Lazarus is sick?

I didn’t think people got sick in heaven.

Oh. This is a different Lazarus?

I get it. I think.?

***

Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha were good friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, near Jerusalem.

Lazarus was sick, and his sisters sent word to Jesus to tell him.

***

I thought Jesus already knew everything.

I am listening.

***

When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ illness He said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where He was two more days.

***

I bet there was good food where He was.

***

After two days Jesus said to His disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”

***

I guess they ate all the food.

***

Jesus’ disciples were concerned because the Jews tried to stone Him there, so Jesus told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”

The disciples figured Lazarus would be alright if he slept, so Jesus had to tell them plainly. “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

***

Do you think Lazarus ran out of food and starved? Jesus shouldn’t go where there’s no food.

I will listen. I’m just sayin’.

***

Thomas said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

When Jesus arrived Lazarus had been dead four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming she went out to meet Him.

“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

***

I bet Jesus brought some food with him. I’d rise from the dead if there was food.

***

Martha answered Jesus, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she told Him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”

***

Hey, wasn’t Martha the one who made all that food when Jesus was there before?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Martha left to get her sister Mary. When Mary left the house many Jews who were there to comfort her followed her, thinking she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Jesus wept.

***

I’m starting to get teary eyed too now. Do dogs cry?

***

Then the Jews said about Jesus, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them said, “Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” He said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

***

Martha doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I bet they’ll find a sweet aroma coming out of there.

I am too listening.

***

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that You sent me.”

When He had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

***

I sure hope they gave him some food.

9 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, God, Jesus, Jews, Lazarus, Martha, Mary, Pets

No Treats for Anybody

08 Dec

“Rich man and poor Lazarus” (1865). Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean there are dogs in this Bible story?

Did that man in the last story give them treats?

Oh. He didn’t know them? I thought everyone in the Bible knew each other.

Okay, I’ll listen. I want to hear about the dogs.

***

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day.”

***

Did the rich man hand out treats?

I am listening.

***

“At the rich man’s gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.”

***

That rich man should hand out treats to Lazarus and the dogs.

***

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.”

***

I bet those angels handed out treats.

I’m listening. I just want to know where the treats are. Those dogs are getting hungry.

***

“The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’”

***

They don’t have treats in hell, do they?

***

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’”

***

Wait! Stop! Don’t give those dogs any treats. I don’t want them to go where that rich man is.

What? I’m not in the story. I don’t have to give up my treats.

***

“The rich man answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“’No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

***

I guess Lazarus won’t be bringing those brothers any treats.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Abraham, Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, Jesus, Lazarus, Moses, Pets, Rich man and Lazarus

The Manager Who Passed Out Treats

01 Dec

Hey person, I’m still waiting for that fattened calf you told me about in last week’s story.

What!? You’re not giving me one?

I’m leaving then.

Maybe you’ll feel all sad and try to bribe me to come back with a good chunk of meat.

If I listen to the story do I get treats?

***

Jesus told His disciples: “There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.’

***

I think that manager was in real trouble. Is he going to get locked up in dog jail?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg – I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’”

***

Is he going to bring those people some treats?

I’d welcome him into my house if he brought me treats.

I am listening.

***

“So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked them first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’”

“’Eight hundred gallons of olive oil,’ he replied.

The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred.’

Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’

“’A thousand bushels of wheat,’ he replied.

“He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’”

***

So where’s the guy that owes him sheep, or cows, or goats.

We might as well get a good meal out of this.

I’m listening – but can’t you come up with some good food?

***

“The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

***

Does that mean like giving someone treats so they’ll be my friend?

***

Jesus continued, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?”

***

I’m totally trustworthy.

You can trust me to eat every treat I find.

***

“No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”

***

Whew! I thought you were going to say that you can’t serve both God and treats.

3 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 1, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Dishonesty, dogs, faith, Jesus, Pets

Coming Home Hungry

24 Nov

What do you mean this next story is kind of like me when I run off and pull mischief?

I’m the perfect dog. I don’t pull mischief. It’s always Scratchy.

Besides, you got me that dog jail so I can’t run off. Let’s skip this story.

There’s food at the end? Okay, I’m all in.

***

Jesus told a story: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘’Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.”

***

That’s not like me at all. I might eat all my treats but I’d never get rid of my toys.

Fine, I’ll listen.

***

“After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

***

Why doesn’t he just eat the pigs?

***

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called you son; make me like one of your hired men.”

***

Did those hired men get to eat the pigs?

***

“So he got up and went to his father.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”

***

Why didn’t he just give him a pig?

I am too listening.

***

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.”

***

What good is that going to do? That boy’s hungry!

Alright, I’ll keep listening.

***

“Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast to celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

***

Now that’s more like it. This is my kind of celebration.

***

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. “Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

***

You mean they had a party and that older son wasn’t invited? I know how that feels.

***

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.”

***

I guess he was invited after all. He should have gone in. Who could have refused all that good, juicy meat?

I’m listening.

***

“But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

***

You mean that older son never got any meat to eat?

I’d be sore too.

***

“’My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

***

So if I run off and come back will you give me a fattened calf?

I’ve got to figure out how to break out of that dog jail.

15 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Dog, faith, Father, God, Jesus, Parable of the Prodigal Son, Pets, Pig