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The Lost Sheep

17 Nov
English: Lost sheep on farm track.

English: Lost sheep on farm track. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you don’t have to tell me a Bible story. I’m still full from that banquet story last week. I think I’ll roll over and take a nap.

What? The next story talks about Jesus eating?

I’m on my way.

I bet if I hung out near him under the table he’d hand me some scraps.

I’m listening now.

***

The tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

***

Do you think Jesus would welcome a perfect dog to eat with him too?

Not some other dog – I mean me!

I am too a perfect dog.

***

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Supposed one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.”

***

Lost sheep? I’m on it!

Here I go! The perfect sheep dog to the rescue!

What do you mean, I’m not a sheep dog?

Well, I’ve got some blogging buddies who are. I’m sure they’d come and help me.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said, “Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?”

***

I could stay and guard those ninety-nine sheep that are left.

I’d be the most perfect guard dog.

What do you mean, I’m not a perfect listener?

***

Jesus continued, “And when he finds the lost sheep, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.”

***

Okay, the sheep are all home now. It must be time for a perfect break.

Oooh! That must mean it’s snack time.

I’m listening! I’m listening!

***

Jesus went on with the story, “Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’”

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

***

Rejoicing in heaven?

That sounds like a real party.

I wonder what kind of treats they serve at parties in heaven.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 17, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Banquet

10 Nov

Bongo at the table smiling

This Bible story is about food?

I can’t wait to hear it. I’m drooling already.

Did Jesus feed thousands of people again?

I’m all ears.

***

Jesus went to eat at the house of a prominent Pharisee.

***

Oh, I get it. Someone fed Jesus this time. I wonder if that Pharisee invites dogs to eat at his house.

***

Jesus said to His host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

***

I can’t repay for my dinner, so I should be invited all the time.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”

***

Blessed is the dog too.

***

Jesus replied,: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’

But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’

“Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’

“Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’”

***

If all those people can’t come that means there will be lots of leftovers. I bet they’ll give them to me and all my dog buddies.

I am listening. I’m waiting for the food part.

***

Jesus continued, “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’

***

Don’t bring in too many of those people. There won’t be any food left for us dogs.

***

“’Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’”

***

Oh good. Time for a dog party.

***

“Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.’”

***

Here I am. I’m on this country lane out here. I’ll eat the banquet that those ungrateful men wouldn’t come and eat.

Jesus does care about dogs, doesn’t He?

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 10, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Not His Sheep

03 Nov

sheepHey person, I’ve been really good all week. I didn’t dig up any seeds, but no trees have grown for me to leave messages on.

Maybe some other dog dug up that mustard seed that Jesus planted when I wasn’t looking.

You’ve got a new story to tell me?

But I’m still waiting for that mustard seed to grow.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem had come and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. The Jews gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.”

***

They could have just read the Bible to find out.

I am listening.

***

Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep.”

***

Jesus has sheep? I didn’t know He was a shepherd. I thought He was a carpenter.

I’m listening, but I just want to know where the sheep come in.

***

Jesus continued, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

***

Okay, so Jesus’ Father got tired of being a carpenter and became a shepherd and then He gave the sheep to Jesus and went back to being a carpenter. I’m all confused.

What? Jesus had two fathers? I give up.

***

The Jews picked up stones to stone Jesus, but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?”

***

Oh, now I get it. I think. There’s the miracle Father and the carpenter father. But how come Jesus got so lucky to have two fathers?

If I listen will this make sense?

***

“We are not stoning you for any of these,” replied the Jews, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

***

This story is really confusing. First there’s an extra father, and then the Jews want Jesus to tell them something and when He does they want to stone Him.

I don’t think I’d be telling the truth if it meant someone was going to stone me.

***

Jesus answered the Jews, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are gods’? If he called them ‘gods,’ to whom the word of God came – and the Scripture cannot be broken – what about the one whom the Father set apart as His very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, ‘I am God’s Son’? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”

***

That’s too many big words for me. I think I’ll just go chase the sheep.

***

Again they tried to seize Jesus, but He escaped their grasp.

***

Hey Jesus, wait for me! I think I found one of your sheep.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Kingdom of God is Like…

27 Oct

Mustard treeJesus told people what the kingdom of God is like? Is that like telling people what heaven is like?

I can’t wait to hear. I bet it’s wonderful.

I bet there is lots of water with fish in it.

And the fish jump right out of the water and into our mouths.

And when we’ve had our fill of fish we can go swimming.

And there are lots of cats to chase – or better yet, no cats at all.

Oh. Oops. Some of my blogging friends are cats.

There are certain cats allowed – but no others.

And there are no leashes – we don’t have to keep our people on leashes because it’s impossible to get lost in heaven.

And we can run free wherever and whenever we want.

And when we get tired of running there are lots of treats waiting for us, and a nice cozy spot to curl up for a nap.

Is that what Jesus says heaven is like?

Okay, I’ll listen to what Jesus says.

***

Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like?”

***

What do you mean, Jesus asked that?

I thought Jesus knew everything. Isn’t He God?

He should know what His own kingdom is like.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus asked another question. “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to?”

***

Oh, I get it. Jesus was thinking out loud. That’s what I do on my blog all the time.

I’m listening person.

***

Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden.

***

I get it! The man planted something and now us dogs get to go dig it up.

That’s heaven, right?

***

Jesus said that though the mustard seed is the smallest of all the seeds the people had, when it grows it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, and the birds of the air come and perch on its branches.

***

That’s what the kingdom of God is like?

Oh, now I see. The Bible talks about self control. So if I control myself and don’t dig up that seed – and keep all the other dogs from digging up that seed – then we will have a tree to leave messages on.

I almost forgot that it’s really important to have trees in heaven.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Untied

20 Oct

Jesus healing the crippled womanI’m done with Bible stories. Last week you told me I was going to get into trouble for the mischief that happens around here when you’re not home.

You’ve got to believe me. It’s Scratchy that does it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years.

***

Bring that woman to me. I’ll give that spirit what for.

What do you mean, I can’t give a spirit what for? I bet I can.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The woman was bent over and could not straighten up at all.

***

Maybe I could bark at her and scare her straight. You know, kind of like when you scare the hiccups out of someone.

I am listening.

***

When Jesus saw the woman, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

***

Is that all it took? I could have put my paws on her.

***

Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue ruler said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites!”

***

You tell them, Jesus.

I’m listening. I’m just getting involved in the story.

***

Jesus continued, “Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”

***

That woman was tied up? Did somebody have to take her out on a leash too?

I guess that’s kind of like you, person. I have to take you out on a leash.

***

When Jesus said these things, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.

***

That was really nice of Jesus to untie that woman and let her go on walks without a leash, but I’m not going to let you off your leash, person.

I’m afraid you might wander off.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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Don’t Get Caught

13 Oct

Bongo on the CouchWhat do you mean, I need to hear this Bible story and it’s going to teach me a lesson?

I don’t need any lessons. I already know everything I need to know.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time?”

***

Oh, now I get it. You’re planning to put me in charge of Scratchy’s food allowance.

I’m listening with all ears now.

***

Jesus continued, “It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.”

***

This is a trick, isn’t it? To get me not to eat Scratchy’s food. If I actually give Scratchy his food, then I’ll get put in charge of everything. And I can eat all your food and my food too.

This is getting good.

***

Jesus said, “But suppose the servant says to himself, ‘My master is taking a long time in coming,’ and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.”

***

Wait a minute. What are you saying?

You mean that if I get into mischief because I think you’re not coming home for awhile I might get into trouble?

You know Scratchy does all that stuff, don’t you?

Oh. You’re saying it’s like the times you came in when I wasn’t expecting you and you caught me sleeping on the couch.

Okay, I admit I slept on the couch once or twice.

But Scratchy still did all the rest of the stuff.

Maybe you could send Jesus to give Scratchy what for.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on October 13, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Worrying Never Helps

06 Oct

Calla Lily FieldHey person, last week you told me one of Jesus’ stories about the man who stored up all his stuff for himself.

Well, it didn’t go so good for him so I decided I’d get rid of some of my stuff.

So if you’ll give me all my treats I’ll eat them and that will be the end of that.

Then I’ll get rid of all my toys. The ones I’ve chewed up, that is.

What do you mean, you’ve already gotten rid of the chewed up ones? How am I supposed to get rid of my stuff if you’ve already done it for me?

Okay, I’ll listen to the next story. But I hope it doesn’t say I have to get rid of even more stuff. I still have some toys that I haven’t chewed up yet.

***

Jesus was talking to His disciples and He said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.”

***

Whew! I don’t worry about clothes. But about that eating stuff, I sure hope you remember to feed me on time person.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Jesus said, “Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.”

***

What is Jesus talking about? Food is everything!

I am too listening.

***

Jesus continued, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

***

I sure hope I’m more valuable than those pesky ravens. They steal eggs from the little bird’s nests.

***

Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”

***

If I don’t worry will that make my life longer? Just make sure you feed me on time, person.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Then Jesus said, “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!

***

What’s all this business about clothes? King Solomon can keep all his fancy clothes. Just feed me on time.

***

“And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink,” said Jesus. “Do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”

***

So if I seek God’s kingdom I’ll get food and treats and everything? Maybe some new toys too?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on October 6, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Storing up Stuff

29 Sep
The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt - photo credit Wikipedia

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Hey person, I prayed and I’m still waiting for the fish.

God is being slow in answering my prayer. I figured fish would be falling from the sky by now.

What? You’re going to tell me one of Jesus’ parables about collecting too much stuff?

Fish isn’t stuff. I wouldn’t collect it, I’d eat it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A crowd had gathered around Jesus and someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

***

You tell him, Jesus!

Not me. I’m not trying to collect all kinds of possessions. I would eat the fish as soon as I got it.

I am listening.

***

And Jesus told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

***

I could help him eat his crops.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then the man said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

***

I think I’m going to go be that man’s dog.

***

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

***

Oops! Hey person, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m the most faithfullest dog there is. I would never leave you.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

***

That doesn’t count toys and dog treats, does it?

 
16 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Praying for Fish

22 Sep

Jesus knocking at the doorHey person, last week when you told me a Bible story Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and Martha was in the kitchen fixing me something to eat while I was taking a nap – I mean, while I was listening intently to Jesus.

But I forgot what Jesus told me.

I was not sleeping – but okay, I’ll listen now.

***

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When He finished one of His disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray, say:

“’Father,

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.

 

***

I don’t think that works for me.

I’m tempted every day – by Scratchy’s food dish.

Yes, I’m listening, but you know if Scratchy ate all his food I wouldn’t have to finish it for him.

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’”

***

I would be the one needing the bread because I always eat everything I can find.

I guess I’d better listen to see how to get those three loaves of bread.

***

“Then the friend inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.’”

***

I wonder if the dog is in bed with them too.

***

“’I can’t get up and give you anything, the friend said.’”

Then Jesus said, “I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is a friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”

***

I’m on my way.

I’ve got to ask that guy for some bread. Maybe he has some fish too.

I don’t want to stay and listen. That guy might give his food to someone else.

Okay.

***

Jesus then said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

***

Does scratching on the door count for knocking?

***

Jesus asked, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

***

I knew God would give me a fish if I asked!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on September 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Nap or Food

15 Sep
Christ with Martha and Maria

Christ with Martha and Maria (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you know that guy the robbers beat up in last week’s story? That one the Samaritan helped?

I think he’s better now so maybe he and the Samaritan can help me go after those robbers. I still want to give them what for.

You’ve got another story? Can you wait until I get back from giving those robbers what for?

Okay, I’ll listen first.

***

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way Jesus came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him.

***

Does Martha have extra room in her house? I want to go there too.

By the way, where is there?

Bethany? That’s not anywhere near here is it?

It’s near Jerusalem? Where’s that?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Martha had a sister named Mary, who sat at Jesus’ feet listening to what He said.

***

That’s where I’d be too.

Taking a nice nap.

I am too listening.

***

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

***

Hey Martha, I’m trying to take a nap here. Can you be quiet?

Okay, I’ll be quiet and listen.

***

“Martha, Martha,” Jesus answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

***

Hey, wait a minute. What do I smell coming from the kitchen? I think I’ll follow Martha in and see. She might have made a pretty good choice too. Food!!!

And if Jesus doesn’t want to eat any of it, I’ll help Martha finish it off.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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