RSS

Category Archives: Dogology

Filled with the Spirit

I’m still trying to figure Peter out.

He got famous in Joppa by raising that lady from the dead, so you’d think he’d want to stay there because the people are probably giving him all kinds of treats and things.

But now these other guys showed up and asked Peter to come with him and he’s just going to go.

Leave all those treats behind.

Or maybe they offered Peter even more treats.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The next day Peter started out with them, and some of the brothers from Joppa went along.

***

Now I get it.

Peter brought along some of the people who would give him treats.

I am listening.

***

The following day he arrived in Caesarea. Cornelius was expecting them and had called together his relatives and close friends.

***

A party?

There’s lots of food at a party.

I’ll listen. I’ll listen.

***

As Peter entered the house, Cornelius met him and fell at his feet in reverence.

***

Oh, I get it now.

Peter is even more famous in Caesarea.

***

But Peter made him get up. “Stand up,” he said, “I am only a man myself.”

***

Peter, you blew it.

You really should have taken advantage of that.

I would have.

***

Talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people. He said to them: “You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him. But God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. So when I was sent for, I came without raising any objection. May I ask why you sent for me?”

***

Peter, they’re just trying to get your treats from you.

I am too listening.

***

Cornelius answered, “Four days ago I was in my house praying at this hour, at three in the afternoon. Suddenly a man in shining clothes stood before me and said, ‘Cornelius, God has heard your prayer and remembered your gifts to the poor. Send to Joppa for Simon who is called Peter. He is a guest in the home of Simon the tanner, who lives by the sea.’ So I sent for you immediately, and it was good of you to come. Now we are all here in the presence of God to listen to everything the Lord has commanded you to tell us.

***

Peter, tell them to give you treats.

***

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.

***

Does that include dogs?

***

You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached – how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

***

That must have been a safer place after Jesus got through with it.

I bet everybody was even nicer to the dogs.

***

We are witnesses of everything he did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. The killed him by hanging him on a tree, …

***

I don’t get it.

Jesus made that place safer and they killed him for it?

Alright, I’ll keep listening.

I think I ran out of things to say anyway.

***

…but God raised him from the dead on the third day and caused him to be seen. He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen – by us who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.”

***

So if I believe in Jesus I’m forgiven for all my mischief?

Woo woo!

***

While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.

***

I guess those Jewish believers thought they were special, but God showed them.

God thinks everyone is special.

Even us dogs.

***

Then Peter said, “Can anyone keep these people from being baptized with water? They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have.” So he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked Peter to stay with them for a few days.

***

I want to be baptized.

It’s kind of like swimming, isn’t it?

And then afterwards, we can celebrate with treats.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 26, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Caesarea, Christianity, Cornelius, dogs, faith, Jesus, Joppa, Peter, Pets

Hungry Vision

19 Oct

I’ve been waiting all week to see if Peter is going to leave all his treats or not.

Those people were about to come and try to take Peter away from where he became famous for raising a lady from the dead.

So what is it?

Will Peter stay, or will he go?

I am listening.

***

About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray.

***

If he’s up on the roof those people won’t find him and he can stay.

Yes I am listening.

***

Peter became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared he fell into a trance.

***

Peter, I’m on my way!

You are going to share some of that meal with me aren’t you?

***

Peter saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air. Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.”

***

I’ve never had food that fresh before.

I’m on my way Peter!

Okay, I’ll listen. This is getting good.

***

“Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”

***

I’ll eat it.

***

The voice spoke to Peter a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

***

Get that Peter?

That stuff’s good to eat.

I’m almost there!

***

This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven.

While Peter was wondering about the meaning of the vision, the men sent by Cornelius found out where Simon’s house was and stopped at the gate. They called out, asking if Simon who was known as Peter was staying there.

***

Pretend you’re not there Peter.

They’re going to take away all your treats.

***

While Peter was still thinking about the vision, the Spirit said to him, “Simon, three men are looking for you. So get up and go downstairs. Do not hesitate to go with them, for I have sent them.

***

I hope the Spirit is going to give Peter some treats then.

***

Peter went down and said to the men, “I’m the one you are looking for. Why have you come?”

***

I bet they just want to steal Peter’s treats.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The men replied, “We have come from Cornelius the centurion. He is a righteous and God-fearing man, who is respected by all the Jewish people. A holy angel told him to have you come to his house so that he could hear what you have to say. Then Peter invited the men into the house to be his guests.

***

Peter, do you still have room for a dog?

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 19, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Cornelius, dogs, faith, Peter, Pets, Simon Peter, vision

Go Get Peter

12 Oct

I bet Peter got lots of treats for what he did in last week’s story.

You know, when he raised Dorcas from the dead in Joppa.

He became a celebrity in Joppa after that.

That’s probably why he stayed there for awhile.

I bet everyone liked him so much that they were always giving him treats.

What do you mean, he was being obedient to Jesus and he didn’t care about the treats?

I’d care.

You want me to listen to more of the story?

Do I get treats for listening?

***

At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment.

***

What does Cornelius have to do with Peter?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Cornelius and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.

***

Did he give Peter treats?

Maybe he’ll give me treats.

***

One day at about three in the afternoon he had a vision. He distinctly saw an angel of God, who came to him and said, “Cornelius!”

Cornelius stared at him in fear. “What is it, Lord?” he asked.

***

That angel must not have had any treats with him.

Otherwise he wouldn’t have been scary.

I am listening.

***

The angel answered, “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God. Now send men to Joppa to bring back a man named Simon who is called Peter. He is staying with Simon the tanner, whose house is by the sea.

***

Wait a minute.

If Cornelius makes Peter leave Joppa where he’s famous, then won’t Peter be going to a place where he’s not famous?

Who will give him treats then?

***

When the angel who spoke to him had gone, Cornelius called two of his servants and a devout soldier who was one of his attendants. He told them everything that had happened and sent them to Joppa.

***

You mean I have to wait until next week’s story to find out if Peter is going to leave all those treats and go with Cornelius’ servants?

Oh, wait.

That means I still have a week to hang out with Peter and get some of his treats.

7 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 12, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Angel, Bible, Christianity, Cornelius, faith, Joppa, Peter, Pets, Simon Peter

Peter Does It

05 Oct

Wait a minute.

Last week Saul turned into a basket case and now you’re telling me Peter’s doing miracles like Jesus did?

What happened to the basket case?

The disciples in Jerusalem were afraid of him and the Grecian Jews wanted to kill him so the disciples who had stopped being afraid of him sent him to Tarsus?

Okay.

So what did Peter do?

***

As Peter traveled about the country, he went to visit the saints in Lydda. There he found a man named Aeneas, a paralytic who had been bedridden for eight years. “Aeneas, Peter said to him, “Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and take care of your mat.” Immediately Aeneas got up.

***

Is it that simple?

All you have to do is say, “Jesus Christ heals you,” and they’re healed?

What do you mean, I can’t say that.

I can too talk—“Woof, woof woof.”

Doesn’t that sound like what Peter said?

I am listening.

***

All those who lived in Lydda and Sharon saw him and turned to the Lord.

***

What if someone pretended to be paralyzed and get healed?

Would that work?

What do you mean, not in a small town?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which when translated, is Dorcas) who was always doing good and helping the poor.

***

I do good.

Why are you laughing person?

I’m always listening.

***

About that time she became sick and died, and her body was washed and placed in an upstairs room. Lydda was near Joppa; so when the disciples heard that Peter was in Lydda, they sent two men to him and urged him, “Please come at once!”

***

I wonder if they offered Peter treats to come.

I’d come for treats.

***

Peter went with them, and when he arrived he was taken upstairs to the room. All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them.

***

As long as they don’t make me wear any of those clothes.

I’m listening. I’m listening.

***

Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed. Turning toward the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up.

***

Boy was she obedient.

I hope Peter gave her some treats.

***

Peter took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. The he called the believers and the widows and presented her to them alive. This became known all over Joppa and many people believed in the Lord. Peter stayed in Joppa for some time with a tanner named Simon.

***

So, if I bring someone back from the dead and many people believe in the Lord because of it, will Jesus give me treats?

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 5, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aeneas, Bible, Christianity, dogs, Dorcas, faith, healing, Jesus, Peter, Pets

Sneaking Out

28 Sep

So last week we left Saul eating and not leaving anything for me.

He’s going to get fat.

He isn’t?

Oh. He goes on lots of walks?

Well, how come he doesn’t take me on a walk?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.

***

Saul sure did a turn around after Jesus zapped him with that light, didn’t he?

I am listening.

***

All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on his name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ.

***

Maybe Saul should come here. There’s lots of people here who need proof that Jesus is the Christ.

***

After many days had gone by, the Jews conspired to kill him,…

***

Oh no! I’d better warn him.

Oh wait. Saul isn’t leaving any food for me.

I’ll make him a deal.

I’ll warn him if he leaves me some food.

I am listening.

***

…but Saul learned of their plan.

***

And he didn’t give me any food for telling him.

***

Day and night the Jews kept close watch on the city gates in order to kill Saul. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall.

***

Did you say that Saul was a basket case?

In that case he probably forgot where he put all his food.

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 28, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: basket, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jesus, Pets, Saul

A Scary Sight

21 Sep

There’s more to the story about Saul?

I liked it where we left him last week – blind and not eating.

Can’t we just leave him there forever?

I mean, he’s a real meanie.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called him in a vision. “Ananias!”

***

I bet the Lord is warning him about Saul.

He already knows about him?

He’d better start running.

I am listening.

***

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

***

Oh no!

I think Ananias is in trouble.

***

“Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priest to arrest all who call on your name.”

***

I don’t get it.

If Ananias knows all that, how come he didn’t start running a long time ago?

***

But the Lord said to Ananias “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

***

Now the Lord’s talking.

Make that mean old Saul suffer.

***

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord – Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here – has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

***

This isn’t good.

If Saul is going to start eating again that’s less food for me.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 21, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Ananias, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jesus, Pets, Saul

It’s Saul’s Turn

14 Sep

Wait a minute!

You told me that story about Philip who popped in and out and then went on his way preaching the gospel.

I guess God helped Philip pop far enough away from Saul that he didn’t have to worry about him.

Hey, what about that mean old Saul, anyway?

I thought you said someone was going to take care of him.

What?

You’re going to tell me about that right now?

Okay, I’m all ears.

***

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples.

***

I’ll breathe out murderous threats on you Saul.

I’ll listen, but who’s gonna take care of Saul?

It might have to be me.

***

Saul went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem.

***

Okay, I’m going after him.

Oh, wait. Did you say Saul was going to Damascus?

Isn’t that in Syria?

I might not have to take care of Saul.

Maybe he’ll run into ISIS.

I am listening.

***

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

***

Wait a minute.

Did I just hear that right?

I don’t have to do anything to Saul, and ISIS won’t get a chance – because Jesus took care of him?

And when Saul was persecuting Jesus’ followers he was really persecuting Jesus?

That means ISIS is in trouble.

***

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

***

That serves Saul right.

And if he’s not eating that’s extra treats for me.

Thank you Jesus.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 14, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Damascus, dogs, faith, Jesus, Saul

On the Desert Road

17 Aug

I’ve been praying all week for fish and treats and I still haven’t gotten any.

Well, maybe one or two treats.

But I want constant treats all day – you know, like falling out of the sky or something.

Or maybe dropping from the kitchen ceiling.

That would be even better.

Are there any treats in this story?

Not even fish?

There’s an angel?

Okay, I guess I’ll listen.

***

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road – the desert road – that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.

***

I guess if you’re on a desert road there’s one thing better than treats.

Water.

***

So Philip started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians.

***

I bet that Ethiopian had plenty of treats.

I think I’ll follow him for awhile.

I am too listening.

***

This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

***

I guess the Spirit wanted Philip to get some treats.

I’m right behind you Philip!

***

Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.

“How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

***

If that was written in dog language I could explain it to him.

Woof!

I truly am listening.

***

The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,

and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.

Who can speak of his descendants”

For his life was taken from the earth.”

***

That’s a really sad story.

***

The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.

***

Oh yeah, that one’s a sad story with a happy ending.

***

As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him.

***

How come I don’t get to be baptized.

It’s kind of like swimming and that sounds like fun.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing.

***

Woah! I wonder what that eunuch was thinking about Philip now.

I would have been freaked if he disappeared on me.

***

Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.

***

Wouldn’t that be cool to pop in and out like that?

I could pop in to the treat store, and where there were piles of fish.

And even to a swimming hole when I felt like swimming.

I wonder how many treats I would have to pay to be able to do that.

What about last week’s story?

Oh yeah, you can’t buy the Holy Spirit.

Okay, I’m praying.

I’m praying.

8 Comments

Posted by Bongo on August 17, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Ethiopian, eunuch, faith, Jesus, Pets, Philip

Greater Power

10 Aug

So last week I was getting ready to give Saul what for because you said Philip wasn’t going to do it.

And you keep telling me I won’t have to.

I don’t get it.

What?

Philip is doing other things and I need to do other things to?

What do you mean like listening?

***

Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, “This man is the divine power known as the Great Power.”They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic.

***

Magic?

Did you say magic?

Can he conjure up some treats for me?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

***

So does that mean that God’s power is greater than a sorcerer’s power?

I get it now.

I need to ask God for treats.

***

When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them.

***

Peter and John!

They’re fishermen.

I bet they’d give me some fish if I went fishing with them.

I am too listening.

***

When Peter and John arrived they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John placed their hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit.

***

Do you think it would work if I placed my paws on them?

***

When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostle’s hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

Peter answered, “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!”

***

What about treats?

Okay, I’m listening.

***

Peter continued, “You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.

***

Okay. Never mind the treats.

I’m praying now.

***

Then Simon answered, “Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me.

***

Hey Peter, will you pray for me too?

And then give me some fish?

***

When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel to many Samaritan villages.

***

Did I learn something in this story?

Yeah. Don’t offer money for what you can get with prayer.

God might send treats and fish for free.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on August 10, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Holy Spirit, John, Peter, Pets, Philip, Simon the Sorcerer

Dragging Them Off

03 Aug

Hey person, I’m still fuming from last week’s story.

I’m sad that Stephen was killed and I’m so mad at Saul because he let that happen.

Saul could have stopped it and he didn’t.

If I ever find him, I’m going to grab his clothes in my teeth and play tug-of-war with them.

You know how strong I am from when I play tug-of-war with you – except I don’t do it with your clothes.

I might get in trouble if I did that, huh?

Okay I’ll listen to the story, but if I get mad again I’m covering up my ears.

***

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

***

This is not good.

I think I’ll cover my ears now.

Okay, I’ll listen a little bit longer.

But if it’s bad I’m covering my ears.

***

Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.

***

Okay, that’s it.

Saul and I have a date for a game of tug-of-war and I’m dragging him off.

And then I’m covering my ears.

***

Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went.

***

Hey wait a minute.

Isn’t that what Saul was trying to stop?

***

Philip went down to a city in Samaria and proclaimed the Christ there. When the crowd heard Philip and saw the miraculous signs he did, they all paid close attention to what he said.

***

Do you think Philip could do a miracle to get rid of Saul?

He won’t have to?

Why not?

Oh, I get it.

Someone else is going to take care of Saul.

Maybe even me.

Okay, I won’t cover my ears.

***

With shrieks, evil spirits came out of many,…

***

You make me leave my ears uncovered and then I hear shrieks.