RSS

Tag Archives: Christianity

Storing up Stuff

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt - photo credit Wikipedia

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Hey person, I prayed and I’m still waiting for the fish.

God is being slow in answering my prayer. I figured fish would be falling from the sky by now.

What? You’re going to tell me one of Jesus’ parables about collecting too much stuff?

Fish isn’t stuff. I wouldn’t collect it, I’d eat it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A crowd had gathered around Jesus and someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

***

You tell him, Jesus!

Not me. I’m not trying to collect all kinds of possessions. I would eat the fish as soon as I got it.

I am listening.

***

And Jesus told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

***

I could help him eat his crops.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then the man said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

***

I think I’m going to go be that man’s dog.

***

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

***

Oops! Hey person, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m the most faithfullest dog there is. I would never leave you.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

***

That doesn’t count toys and dog treats, does it?

 
16 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Praying for Fish

Jesus knocking at the doorHey person, last week when you told me a Bible story Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and Martha was in the kitchen fixing me something to eat while I was taking a nap – I mean, while I was listening intently to Jesus.

But I forgot what Jesus told me.

I was not sleeping – but okay, I’ll listen now.

***

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When He finished one of His disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray, say:

“’Father,

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.

 

***

I don’t think that works for me.

I’m tempted every day – by Scratchy’s food dish.

Yes, I’m listening, but you know if Scratchy ate all his food I wouldn’t have to finish it for him.

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’”

***

I would be the one needing the bread because I always eat everything I can find.

I guess I’d better listen to see how to get those three loaves of bread.

***

“Then the friend inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.’”

***

I wonder if the dog is in bed with them too.

***

“’I can’t get up and give you anything, the friend said.’”

Then Jesus said, “I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is a friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”

***

I’m on my way.

I’ve got to ask that guy for some bread. Maybe he has some fish too.

I don’t want to stay and listen. That guy might give his food to someone else.

Okay.

***

Jesus then said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

***

Does scratching on the door count for knocking?

***

Jesus asked, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

***

I knew God would give me a fish if I asked!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on September 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Nap or Food

Christ with Martha and Maria

Christ with Martha and Maria (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you know that guy the robbers beat up in last week’s story? That one the Samaritan helped?

I think he’s better now so maybe he and the Samaritan can help me go after those robbers. I still want to give them what for.

You’ve got another story? Can you wait until I get back from giving those robbers what for?

Okay, I’ll listen first.

***

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way Jesus came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him.

***

Does Martha have extra room in her house? I want to go there too.

By the way, where is there?

Bethany? That’s not anywhere near here is it?

It’s near Jerusalem? Where’s that?

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Martha had a sister named Mary, who sat at Jesus’ feet listening to what He said.

***

That’s where I’d be too.

Taking a nice nap.

I am too listening.

***

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

***

Hey Martha, I’m trying to take a nap here. Can you be quiet?

Okay, I’ll be quiet and listen.

***

“Martha, Martha,” Jesus answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

***

Hey, wait a minute. What do I smell coming from the kitchen? I think I’ll follow Martha in and see. She might have made a pretty good choice too. Food!!!

And if Jesus doesn’t want to eat any of it, I’ll help Martha finish it off.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Who is my Neighbor?

Good SamaritanWhat are you telling me person? Someone gave Jesus a test?

Did He pass with flying colors, or did He just get a B or a C?

I’ll listen, but first I want to know what grade Jesus got?

***

An expert in the law stood up to test Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus asked the man what is written in the Law and the man answered “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

***

Wait a minute. Who did you say was giving the test?

I’m listening.

***

Then the man asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

***

If I’m his neighbor then he has to give me loves – and treats.

***

Jesus replied by telling a story.

***

I thought this already was a story.

***

Jesus said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.”

***

Can you hold the story, person? I’ve got to go after those robbers and give them what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.”

***

Did anybody tell those people that they’re walking on the wrong side of the road? Somebody might come and run them over.

***

“But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came to where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.”

***

Weren’t the Samaritans those people that everybody hated?

Yeah, I thought so.

***

“The Samaritan went to the man and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.”

***

I could have licked that man’s wounds. I bet that would have felt better than the wine.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Then the Samaritan put the man on his donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’”

Then Jesus asked, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

***

I don’t think I’m ever going to give Jesus a test. He didn’t even take it – but he sure gave that other guy a test.

***

The expert in the law replied to Jesus, “The one who had mercy on him was the neighbor.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

***

Can I go now? I’ve still got to give those robbers what for.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on September 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Stomping on Snakes

Jesus sends the 72 in pairsWait a minute. Last week you told me a story about Jesus healing that blind man, and now you’re telling me He sent His disciples away?

What do you mean, a training mission?

Well, if Jesus is training His disciples, I should get trained too. I’m going with them.

I don’t need to listen to the story. I’ll find it out from those disciples when I follow them.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus appointed seventy-two disciples and sent them two by two ahead of Him to every town and place where He was about to go.

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.”

***

Those disciples need a guard dog to protect them from those wolves. I’d better go for sure.

***

Jesus told the disciples to stay in the first house they enter if a man of peace is there, and not to move around from house to house. He also said, “When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God is near you.’”

***

Wait! They got free food and then they got to do miracles too?

I’m going on this trip for sure.

***

Then Jesus said to them, “When you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, ‘Even the dust of your town that sticks to our feet we wipe off against you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God is near.’”

***

I like kicking up dust. That sounds like fun.

I am listening.

***

When the seventy-two disciples returned they were full of joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

Jesus said, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

***

I think I’m going to go out and get me a few snakes and scorpions right now.

***

“However,” Jesus said, “do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

***

Snakes and scorpions, watch out! I’m going to trample on you and then I’m going to escape to heaven where you can’t touch me – ‘cause my name’s written there.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on September 1, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Bible Study Buddy

Bongo and a friend in church officeWhat do you mean, this might be the last time I get to hang out with my Bible study buddy for awhile?

You know how much I like going to church. Why wouldn’t I get to go?

How am I going to keep up with my Bible stories if I don’t get to go to Bible study?

You know I’m the perfect dog when I’m there.

.

.

.

 

I don’t do anything like…

Bongo going after something in his friend's pocket

trying to steal chocolates out of my friend’s pocket.

And you know I would never…

Bongo on his back in front of a friend

try to be the center of attention.

No, all I do is lie there quietly and listen to what’s going on.

How come you didn’t get any pictures of me doing that?

You had plenty of opportunity.

So why don’t I get to go again?

What? Thunder season is almost over?

It is?

Yippee! Woo woo!

Wait a minute. You mean I got special privileges just because of the thunder?

Umm. Maybe you could tell the thunder to stick around longer.

Or then again – maybe not.

Now I’m all confused.

Can I just have special privileges without the thunder?

Bongo and a friend smiling

You know all my Bible study buddies are waiting to see me again.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 28, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

Tags: , , , ,

I was Blind

Jesus healing a blind manJesus did more miracles? He’s just full of miracles, isn’t he?

I hope he does another food miracle. I’m getting hungry.

No food this time? I need a cookie before we start then.

On second thought, I need a bunch of cookies.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus saw a man who had been blind from birth. The Jews of Jesus’ day believed that physical problems were caused by sin and Jesus’ disciples asked Him if it had been the man or his parents who had sinned.

***

I guess that’s why I have perfect health. I’m such a perfect dog.

Being scared of thunder doesn’t count.

***

Jesus said that neither had sinned. The man was blind so the work of God might be displayed in his life.

Having said this, Jesus spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes.

***

I could do that with a slobbery kiss on that man’s eyes.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Go,” Jesus told the man, “wash in the pool of Siloam.” So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

***

I guess my slobbery kisses never made anyone see. Maybe I forgot the part about having to wash the slobber out again.

***

The man’s neighbors who had seen him begging in the past weren’t sure if it was him, but he assured them he was the same man who had been blind.

“How then were your eyes opened?” the neighbors demanded.

The man told them what had happened and that it was Jesus who had healed him. Then the neighbors took the man to the Pharisees who questioned him again.

***

It might have been a lot easier for that man if he had just put everything on Facebook.

I am too listening.

***

The day that Jesus had healed the man was a Sabbath so some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”

But others asked, “How can a sinner do such miraculous signs?”

Finally they turned to the blind man who had been healed and asked him what he thought? The man replied, “He is a prophet.”

***

That’s telling them!

***

The Jews still didn’t believe the man had been blind and received his sight so they talked to his parents. The parents were afraid the Jews would throw them out of the synagogue because they had threatened to do that to anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ, so they said they didn’t know how their son had been healed and to ask him.

So the Jews called the man who had been blind a second time and said, “Give glory to God. We know this man Jesus is a sinner.”

The man replied, “Whether He is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see.”

***

I think that guy wrote a famous song.

I’ll listen, but can I bark along?

***

The Jews asked the man again how Jesus had healed him, and the man answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become His disciples too?”

This made the Jews really mad and they hurled insults at him saying they were disciples of Moses and they didn’t even know where Jesus came from.

***

I know where Jesus came from. Can I go tell them?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The man answered the Jews, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where He comes from, yet He opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does His will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”

***

That’s telling them.

***

The Pharisees said, “How dare you lecture us!” and threw the man out.

Jesus found the man, told the man who He is and then said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Some Pharisees heard Jesus say this and said, “What? Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

***

My eyes are shut. I can’t see a thing.

Oh, wait. This is terrible. I don’t think I can do this.

Do I have to walk around with my eyes closed until Jesus comes back?

That’s going to be a long nap.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Cast the First Stone

Painting of Jesus and the woman caught in adulteryLast week that guy in the story ended up in jail because he wouldn’t forgive someone. I guess I’d better forgive you person, for all the mischief you’ve ever done to me.

I wouldn’t want to end up in dog jail again.

But sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes you go overboard in the mischief department.

Yes, I’ll listen to the story.

But don’t pull any mischief while you’re telling it.

***

Jesus went to Jerusalem, and at dawn he appeared in the temple courts.

***

Boy, did Jesus get up early. I bet He was the only one there.

***

All the people gathered around Jesus, and He sat down to teach them.

***

What? What people? You mean they got up that early too?

Okay, I’ll listen. As long as you don’t make me get up that early to hear the story.

***

While Jesus taught the people, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

***

They could probably do to her what they did to me. It doesn’t do me any good to mess around with girl dogs anymore.

Oh wait. Where’s the guy who was with that woman? They would have to do that to him.

I bet Jesus asked them to bring that guy in.

I am listening.

***
They were trying to trap Jesus with their question, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

***

That would have to be an awfully big trap. Most traps are only big enough to catch small animals.

***

Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with His finger. When they kept on questioning him, He straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

***

Well, person – I guess you won’t be throwing any stones.

I’m listening! I’m listening!

***

After Jesus said this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

***

I guess Jesus told them.

***

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

***

What do you mean, Jesus wants all of us to leave our life of sin?

I don’t sin.

Mischief doesn’t count.

Except for your mischief, that is.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on August 18, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Seventy Times Seven

Forgiveness wordsI hope this week’s Bible story isn’t as confusing as the last one. I wasn’t sure if you were talking about sheep or puppies.

I’m listening. But please don’t make it confusing.

***

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.”

***

Are you serious? Does that mean I have to forgive you person, for all the times you pull mischief on me?

Of course I’m listening. I’m just trying to multiply that number. You never taught me how to do that. More mischief.

***

Then Jesus told a story. He said, “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

***

That man must have been really talented.

How much is ten thousand talents?

Millions of dollars? No way! I think that king should have cut him off a long time ago.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Since the man was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go..

***

Whew! He was lucky.

***

But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded.

***

I guess a hundred denarii must be way more than ten thousand talents.

What!? It’s only worth about a day’s wages? I guess that guy was pretty demanding.

***

The fellow servant, the one being choked, fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”

But the first servant refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

***

Well, that doesn’t make any sense. How can you pay a debt when you’re in prison?

I am listening.

***

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said. “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailors to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

***

Serves that guy right.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

***

Oops!

Person, I forgive you seventy times seven times for all the mischief you ever did to me.

But if you pull mischief on me again, you’d better watch out.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on August 11, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Like a Little Child

Puppy in the grass

Puppy in the grass (Photo credit: justmakeit)

You know that fish Peter found last week with the coin in its mouth?

I’m going to go hang out with Peter and see if he’ll share.

What? What do you mean, Peter’s busy?

***

An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest.

***

What? The disciples argued? I thought they were perfect.

You’d think anyone that hangs out around Jesus as much as they did would have Jesus rub off on them and they wouldn’t do anything wrong.

Okay. I’ll listen.

***

Jesus knew what they were arguing about and He called a little child and had him stand among them.

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

***

Oh. Does that mean I have to be like a puppy again in order to go to heaven?

***

Jesus also said, “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”

***

I would welcome a puppy. Maybe you should go out and get me a puppy, person.

I am too listening.

***

“But,” Jesus said, “if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

***

Does teaching a puppy how to do mischief cause that puppy to sin?

On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t get a puppy. I like swimming, but not if I have a weight around my neck that makes me sink to the bottom.

I’m not sure I want to listen anymore.

Okay, I guess I’ll listen. Are you almost done?

***

Jesus told a story to show how much He cared about the little ones.

He said, “If a man owns a hundred sheep,…

***

Sheep!? What happened to the puppy?

***

and one of the sheep wanders away, the man will leave the ninety-nine sheep on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off. And if he finds it, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.” Jesus said, “In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

***

Hey person, I’ll be back in awhile.

I’m going to look for that puppy. I think he got lost.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 4, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,