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Seeds, Treats, and the Word

24 Jun

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Landscape with the Parable of the Sower, 1557. Image via Wikipedia

Hey person, are you going to tell me one of those Pair a Bulls again so I can make up a new story to go with it?

Woo woo! Which one are you going to tell me?

I am listening. And I’m sitting too.

My person says that Jesus told a story to a large crowd about a farmer who went out to sow his seed.

Did that farmer put seeds in his sewing machine? Wouldn’t that mess it up?

I’m listening, but…

As the farmer scattered the seed some fell along the path, was trampled on, and the birds ate it.

Oh, I get it now. He didn’t even have a sewing machine.

Yes, I’m listening.

Some of the seed fell on rock and the plants withered because they had no moisture.

All of the plants are withering around here this summer.

Okay, I’ll be quiet.

Some seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants.

Yikes!

Other seed fell on good soil. It grew and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.

Wow! That’s a big crop.

Is that it? That’s the end of the story?

What? You mean the disciples didn’t even know what the story meant? Jesus had to tell them? What did he say?

The seed is the word of God? Really?

So those along the path heard the word, and then the devil came and took it away from their hearts so they wouldn’t believe and be saved.

Oops! What else?

The ones on the rock receive the word with joy, but they have no root. So they believe for awhile but when a time of testing comes they fall away.

What about the thorns?

Those hear the word but they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they don’t mature.

Am I mature, person? I am, aren’t I?

Okay, what’s the last one?

The seed on the good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

That’s got to be me. I could grow carrots. I like carrots. Maybe beans.

Is it my turn now, person? Do I get to make up a story?

Okay, here goes. A person took her dog out to play and tossed some treats to him. But the person was a lousy shot.

The first treat landed way past where the dog was. A crafty coyote ate the treat before the dog could get to it.

The next treat fell in the road and a car ran over it and smashed it to smithereens.

Another treat fell in the middle of a prickly pear cactus and the dog couldn’t get it because there were too many pricklers in the way.

But the person finally learned how to throw right and the dog caught the next treat, and got so many more treats after that that he shared the treats with his friends.

Hey person, that made me hungry. Can you get me a treat? Just make sure you aim right when you toss it to me.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 24, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, Farmer, God, Jesus, Pets, Plant, Seed

Modern Day Pair a Bulls

10 Jun

The Good Samaritan by Rembrandt (1630) shows the Good Samaritan making arrangements with the innkeeper. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What person, you mean Jesus told lots of stories? I like to tell stories. Does that make me like Jesus?

He told what? Para what? Parables? What would Jesus want two bulls for? At least he’s telling stories about animals.

A parable is a what? A story that teaches something? What would it teach?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says one of Jesus’ most famous parables is about the Good Samaritan. Jesus told this story because he was discussing the most important commandments and the second most important is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey person, I love my neighbor. I love everyone who gives me loves.

I’m listening, person.

Someone asked Jesus who his neighbor was, so Jesus told this story. But my person says he told stories about things that the people of his day could relate to that we might not know about today. She promised she would explain them to me. You better, person.

My person says a man was traveling when robbers attacked and beat him and left him on the side of the road half dead.

A priest came by and saw the man and passed by on the other side of the road.

Then a Levite came by, saw the man and passed by on the other side as well.

Hey person, what’s a Levite?

It is? My person said that Levites were people that worked for God in the temple. I thought people like that would want to stop and help.

Okay, I’m listening – but I don’t get that priest and that Levite, leaving that poor man there. What’s going to happen to him?

He did? A Samaritan came by? What’s a Samaritan?

The Jewish people that Jesus was telling the story to hated Samaritans? They wouldn’t have anything to do with them? Oh no, that poor man is really in trouble. If the priest and Levite won’t stop I bet that Samaritan is going to go running by?

He did? That Samaritan stopped to help? And he even took the poor man to an inn and paid for him to stay there until he was better?

So I guess that Samaritan was the best neighbor, wasn’t he?

But person, if Jesus told a story that people of his time would understand, maybe we should change the story so people today will understand it better.

Okay, here goes.

A dog was walking along a trail and coyotes came and attacked it and left it half dead.

A guide dog came by, sniffed at the dog and walked on.

Then a service dog came by and did the same thing.

But a pit bull came by, licked the dog’s wounds, and found the dog’s collar that had ended up in the bushes. The pit bull got his person to take the dog to the vet, and gave the collar to the vet so they could contact the hurt dog’s person.

Do you think that story will make more sense? I even put a pit bull in with the pair a bulls.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 10, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Levite, Parable of the Good Samaritan, Pets, Samaritan

In the Den

03 Jun

English: Daniel’s Answer to the King (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person started telling me about that Daniel guy again – you know, the one who likes to eat vegetables, but I told her that if there wasn’t any meat in this story, and maybe some animals too, I didn’t want anything to do with it.

And you know what my person said? She said Daniel was the meat in this story and there are animals in the story too. I guess I have to let her tell me the story now.

When Darius was king of Babylon he had three governors over the land and Daniel was one of them. But Daniel did so well that King Darius thought about putting him over everything. The other people in charge didn’t like this at all so they tried to find something Daniel was doing wrong, but they couldn’t.

Hey person, this story isn’t going so well. Where’s the meat and the animals? I don’t have much patience person. You’d better get to it quick or I’m leaving the room. Talk fast.

The other governors and people in charge figured the only way they could find fault with Daniel was through the law of his God, so they tricked King Darius into signing a decree that said for the next 30 days no one could petition any god or man except the king, and if they did they would be thrown into the lion’s den.

Lions? There are lions in this story?

Okay person, you can keep going.

Daniel knew about the decree, but he went and knelt down and prayed to his God like he always did.

The men who had talked King Darius into signing the decree went and told on Daniel. King Darius was very upset because he liked Daniel, but the law of the land said that once a decree had been signed it couldn’t be changed, even by the king.

So Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den.

Now I get it. Daniel really was the meat. Hey person, I might not like that Daniel only eats vegetables but that doesn’t mean that I want him to be eaten by lions.

Okay, I’ll keep listening. But please don’t put all the scary details in. I’m kind of starting to like Daniel.

When they threw Daniel into the lion’s den the king said to him, “Your God, whom you serve continually, He will deliver you.”

The king couldn’t sleep all night and early in the morning he went to the lion’s den and called out to Daniel, asking if his God had been able to deliver him from the lions.

Daniel told the king that God had sent an angel to shut the lion’s mouths so they wouldn’t hurt him, because Daniel had done no wrong before God or before the king.

The king was very happy and declared that the God of Daniel is the living God.

Hey person, I bet those were friendly lions and they just cuddled up with Daniel all night.

They were what? They were so hungry that they started gobbling their next meal before it hit the bottom of the den?

I’m sure glad an angel doesn’t shut my mouth.

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 3, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Daniel, Daniel in the lions' den, dogs, faith, God, King Darius, Lion, Pets

The Writing on the Wall

27 May

Belshazzar’s Feast depicts a vision described in the biblical Book of Daniel. –31&src= Daniel 5:1–31 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean this Bible story started with a party? I didn’t know they had parties in the Bible?

It was a king who was having the party? I thought kings were too busy to have parties. I want a party. Can I have a dog party? I could invite all my dog blogging friends and all my trail dog friends over for a big party.

I am listening, person. I can listen and have a party too.

When King Belshazzar was king of Babylon he gave a big party and dogs weren’t invited. I’m not very happy about that.

Okay person, I’ll pay attention to the story.

King Belshazzar had the gold and silver goblets that had been taken from the temple in Jerusalem brought in, and everybody at the party drank wine from them. While they were drinking they praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood and stone. Why didn’t they praise the gods of dogs?

Okay person, I’ll listen.

While they were having this big party and praising all those gods, the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the wall. The king got so scared his face turned pale, his knees knocked together, and his legs gave way. He promised great reward for anyone who could read the writing and tell him what it meant, but no one could.

Then the queen told the king that Daniel could tell him what the writing meant, so the king called for Daniel. Is this the same Daniel who ate all those vegetables? Maybe he’ll give me all the meat that he’s not eating.

Person, I can think about meat now. The story’s on pause while they wait for Daniel to get there. I guess he didn’t eat meat or go to parties.

When Daniel got there he gave that king what for and told him he had set himself against the Lord of heaven because everyone had drunk from the goblets of his temple and praised gods which cannot see, hear, or understand.

Daniel said God sent the hand that wrote on the wall, and the message said that God has brought King Belshazzar’s reign to an end and given it to the Medes and the Persians, because God was not happy with the king.

That very night King Belshazzar was killed and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom.

Hey person, I guess I don’t need a dog party after all.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 27, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Christianity, Daniel, dogs, faith, God, King Belshazzar

Meat or Vegetables?

13 May

Daniel refusing the King’s Food (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person told me about someone in the Bible that I haven’t heard of before, but what he did doesn’t make sense to me. I think he’s crazy.

Person, I wouldn’t have done what Daniel did. It makes it hard to tell the story.

Okay, I’ll tell it the way you said it happened.

Daniel lived in Jerusalem at a time when Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon came and besieged it. Hey person, what does besieged mean? I be seeing it? Did King Nebuchadnezzar come to see Jerusalem?

Okay, I’ll just tell the story.

King Nebuchadnezzar ordered the chief of his court officials to bring some Israelites from the royal family and the nobility back to Babylon with him. He was supposed to pick young men who were smart and handsome. Some of those he picked were Daniel and three of his friends.

They had to what? My person says they had to walk over 500 miles to get to Babylon. I like walks but I don’t think I’d want to walk that far. Why didn’t they just get in a car, person?

Okay, I’ll tell the story. This is the part I don’t get. The king offered Daniel and his friends all kinds of good stuff to eat. Lots of meat and stuff. Mmmm. Yummy!

And you know what Daniel did? He turned it down. Now that just doesn’t make sense to me.

My person says Daniel probably didn’t want the king’s food because some of it had been offered to idols, and it hadn’t been prepared the way God told the Israelites to prepare their food.

Daniel asked the chief official if he and his friends could have permission not to eat that food, but the chief official said he was afraid of the king, and the king had assigned the food to them. So Daniel made a deal with the chief official. He asked for him and his friends to be given nothing but vegetables and water for ten days, and then to compare their appearance with that of the young men who ate the royal food.

And this is the really sad part. At the end of ten days Daniel and his friends looked healthier and better nourished than the other young men, so they were allowed to honor God by eating vegetables instead of that really good food.

Person, I don’t like this story at all. I think you’re trying to turn everyone into vegetarians. No way am I giving up all the yummy stuff.

30 Comments

Posted by Bongo on May 13, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Babylon, Bible, Christianity, Daniel, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, King Nebuchadnezzar, Pets

A Net Full of Fish

15 Apr

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Boat, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets, Sea of Galilee

Save the Donkey

18 Mar

A donkey did what? No way!

Okay person, I’ll tell this story without skipping over parts. I just can’t get over that donkey. I want to talk about the donkey.

Okay, I’ll wait. My person says when the Israelites were following Moses, the King of Moab became afraid of them. He thought they were going to wipe out his country. So he sent messengers to a diviner named Balaam to come and put a curse on them. But God told Balaam not to put a curse on the Israelites because they were blessed. Am I blessed person? I think I should be blessed too.

Okay, I’ll go back to the story. So Balaam said he couldn’t go with those messengers.

Those messengers went back to the king and told him Balaam wouldn’t come, so what did that king do? He sent even more messengers and told Balaam he would reward him handsomely. This time God told him to go, but to only do what He told him to do.

Hey person. Do you think Balaam wanted the money more than he wanted to do what God said? Because I think God knew Balaam was up to something. Was he up to no good?

Because God sent an angel to block his way. And the angel had his sword drawn.

Well, Balaam couldn’t see the angel but his donkey could. His donkey turned off the road and Balaam beat her. That poor donkey. All she was trying to do was save Balaam.

After that the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path. The donkey pressed close to a wall and crushed Balaam’s foot. So he beat her again. I think I’m going to give Balaam what for.

Then that angel moved to a place where there was no way around so that donkey laid down under Balaam. And Balaam beat her with his staff.

Then God made the donkey so she could talk. This is so cool! That donkey asked Balaam why he was beating her.

Balaam actually answered his donkey and said if he’d had a sword he would kill her for making a fool of him.

The donkey asked the mean old Balaam if she hadn’t been a good donkey that didn’t normally act this way.

Balaam agreed this was not the way the donkey normally acted, and then the Lord let him see the angel. That angel gave Balaam what for and told him if his donkey hadn’t saved him he would have killed Balaam, but not the donkey.

I think Balaam got off lucky. That donkey and angel should have given him a really good talking to and then given him what for some more.

Hey person, if I let you ride on me do you think an angel would show up and teach me to talk?

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 18, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Angel of the Lord, Balaam, Bible, dogs, Donkey, faith, God, Israelites, Pets

Sneaking Up

11 Mar

You mean that mean old King Saul went after David again?

I don’t believe it. King Saul went after David with 3000 men and David only had 600 men? I sure hope David had some dogs to help him out too. My dog buddies would give King Saul what for.

What do you mean, that’s not part of the story? I think dogs should be in the story.

Okay person, I’ll try to tell the story right.

David found out where King Saul had camped and he went there and saw where Saul and Abner, the commander of the army, had lain down. Saul was inside the camp with his army around him, and he had stuck his spear in the ground near his head.

Well, David took another man named Abishai with him and they snuck up on King Saul while everyone was sleeping. I sure would have liked to sneak up on King Saul too.

I could be quiet enough. I could. What if someone woke up while David was sneaking in?

See? If the Lord put everyone in a deep sleep they wouldn’t wake up for me either.

Okay, I’ll go back to the story.

Abishai wanted to kill King Saul with his spear but David wouldn’t let him because King Saul was the Lord’s anointed. So what did David do? He took King Saul’s spear and water jug and they left.

Come on David, you’ve got to stir up more mischief than that. That would hardly count for a Monday Mischief Blog Hop.

So David did what next? He did?

David went up on a hill a ways away and yelled at King Saul and Abner and told them what he’d done.

Is that it, person? When is God going to give King Saul what for?

Really? My person says that eventually King Saul died in battle and David got to be king, but David still kept having adventures after that.

I wish I could be David’s dog. I like having adventures.

No person, I’m happy being your dog, but your adventures are mild compared to David’s. After all, I am Super Dog.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 11, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Abishai, Abner, Bible, David, dogs, faith, God, King Saul, Lord, Pets

No Missing Sheep

04 Mar

Hey person, when are you going to tell me the story about those other sheep that David met?

Really? You’re finally going to tell me? So what happened to David’s sheep?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says King Saul kept chasing David, so David couldn’t go back home and see his sheep. But he went to a place where there were some other sheep. The sheep belonged to a rich man named Nabal who owned a thousand goats and three thousand sheep.

While David and his men were at this place they kept watch over the shepherds and the sheep and made sure nothing of theirs was missing. Don’t forget the sheep dogs, person. I’m sure they watched the sheep dogs too.

Okay person, I’ll listen. Just don’t forget the sheep dogs next time.

David heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. This was always a festive time and since David and his men had helped Nabal’s shepherds, David sent ten of his men to Nabal to greet and bless him and ask for anything he could spare.

Did Nabal give David a sheep so he wouldn’t miss his own sheep so much? Maybe a sheep dog too?

He was? He did what? Listen to this. My person says Nabal was a mean man and not only did he not give David’s men anything – he insulted David as well. I’d give him what for, person.

All right! My person says that’s exactly what David intended to do. He told his men to put on their swords and go after Nabal and his men. About four hundred men went with David and he left two hundred men with the supplies.

What happened next, person? Did they get him?

No way! My person says that even though Nabal was a mean man he had a wife named Abigail who was beautiful and intelligent. One of the servants told her what had happened and she quickly loaded up a bunch of food onto donkeys and headed out to meet David. When she found him she talked him out of going after Nabal and asked David to leave everything up to the Lord, and David praised the Lord for stopping him from doing what he had planned to do.

When Abigail returned home that mean old Nabal was having a party and had gotten drunk so she waited until the next morning to tell him what had happened. When she told him his heart failed and he became like a stone. About ten days later the Lord struck him and he died. Serves him right.

When David heard that Nabal had died he praised the Lord for doing that and keeping him from doing it himself. Then, you know what David did? He asked Abigail to marry him. And she did.

Hey person, you know sometimes when I get mad at someone and I want to give them what for? Well, even if God gives them what for, I still want to give them what for too.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 4, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Abigail, Bible, David, dogs, faith, Lord, Nabal, Pets, Saul, Sheep

Jealousy Can Be Deadly

19 Feb

Hey person, you know that David guy? The one who killed that giant named Goliath?

Yeah, him. Whatever happened to his sheep – and his sheep dogs?

What? He didn’t? Other people had to take care of them? Why? Won’t David miss them?

My person says that after David killed Goliath he became a big hero and all the Israelites loved him. King Saul kept David in his service and didn’t let him go home any more to his family and his sheep – and sheep dogs.

But then something happened. After that battle with the Philistines all the people praised King Saul, but they praised David even more.

And King Saul got really jealous.

King Saul got so jealous that while David was playing the harp for him he threw a spear at him and tried to pin David to the wall.

He what!? He threw that spear at David twice? I hope David was okay.

My person says that David got away from King Saul and then King Saul was afraid of David because he knew the Lord was with him. So you know what that mean old King Saul did? He sent David out to battle, hoping that David would get killed.

David didn’t get killed, did he person? What would his sheep do without him?

He was? Oh that’s good. My person says David was very successful in battle because the Lord was with him, and he became even more of a hero in Israel.

So then what happened?

No way. You know what happened next? That mean old King Saul threw another spear at David while he was playing the harp. David had had enough by this point and he knew King Saul meant business, so that night he escaped.

What happened next person? Oh, come on. Tell me more.

I don’t believe it. My person won’t tell me any more. She says King Saul chased after David and David had lots and lots of adventures.

What kind of adventures person? Did David’s sheep have adventures too?

Really? David’s sheep didn’t have any adventures, but some other sheep did?

Come on person, I think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes.