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The Kingdom of God is Like…

Mustard treeJesus told people what the kingdom of God is like? Is that like telling people what heaven is like?

I can’t wait to hear. I bet it’s wonderful.

I bet there is lots of water with fish in it.

And the fish jump right out of the water and into our mouths.

And when we’ve had our fill of fish we can go swimming.

And there are lots of cats to chase – or better yet, no cats at all.

Oh. Oops. Some of my blogging friends are cats.

There are certain cats allowed – but no others.

And there are no leashes – we don’t have to keep our people on leashes because it’s impossible to get lost in heaven.

And we can run free wherever and whenever we want.

And when we get tired of running there are lots of treats waiting for us, and a nice cozy spot to curl up for a nap.

Is that what Jesus says heaven is like?

Okay, I’ll listen to what Jesus says.

***

Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like?”

***

What do you mean, Jesus asked that?

I thought Jesus knew everything. Isn’t He God?

He should know what His own kingdom is like.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus asked another question. “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to?”

***

Oh, I get it. Jesus was thinking out loud. That’s what I do on my blog all the time.

I’m listening person.

***

Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden.

***

I get it! The man planted something and now us dogs get to go dig it up.

That’s heaven, right?

***

Jesus said that though the mustard seed is the smallest of all the seeds the people had, when it grows it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, and the birds of the air come and perch on its branches.

***

That’s what the kingdom of God is like?

Oh, now I see. The Bible talks about self control. So if I control myself and don’t dig up that seed – and keep all the other dogs from digging up that seed – then we will have a tree to leave messages on.

I almost forgot that it’s really important to have trees in heaven.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Don’t Get Caught

Bongo on the CouchWhat do you mean, I need to hear this Bible story and it’s going to teach me a lesson?

I don’t need any lessons. I already know everything I need to know.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time?”

***

Oh, now I get it. You’re planning to put me in charge of Scratchy’s food allowance.

I’m listening with all ears now.

***

Jesus continued, “It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.”

***

This is a trick, isn’t it? To get me not to eat Scratchy’s food. If I actually give Scratchy his food, then I’ll get put in charge of everything. And I can eat all your food and my food too.

This is getting good.

***

Jesus said, “But suppose the servant says to himself, ‘My master is taking a long time in coming,’ and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.”

***

Wait a minute. What are you saying?

You mean that if I get into mischief because I think you’re not coming home for awhile I might get into trouble?

You know Scratchy does all that stuff, don’t you?

Oh. You’re saying it’s like the times you came in when I wasn’t expecting you and you caught me sleeping on the couch.

Okay, I admit I slept on the couch once or twice.

But Scratchy still did all the rest of the stuff.

Maybe you could send Jesus to give Scratchy what for.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on October 13, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Worrying Never Helps

Calla Lily FieldHey person, last week you told me one of Jesus’ stories about the man who stored up all his stuff for himself.

Well, it didn’t go so good for him so I decided I’d get rid of some of my stuff.

So if you’ll give me all my treats I’ll eat them and that will be the end of that.

Then I’ll get rid of all my toys. The ones I’ve chewed up, that is.

What do you mean, you’ve already gotten rid of the chewed up ones? How am I supposed to get rid of my stuff if you’ve already done it for me?

Okay, I’ll listen to the next story. But I hope it doesn’t say I have to get rid of even more stuff. I still have some toys that I haven’t chewed up yet.

***

Jesus was talking to His disciples and He said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.”

***

Whew! I don’t worry about clothes. But about that eating stuff, I sure hope you remember to feed me on time person.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Jesus said, “Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.”

***

What is Jesus talking about? Food is everything!

I am too listening.

***

Jesus continued, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

***

I sure hope I’m more valuable than those pesky ravens. They steal eggs from the little bird’s nests.

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Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”

***

If I don’t worry will that make my life longer? Just make sure you feed me on time, person.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Then Jesus said, “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!

***

What’s all this business about clothes? King Solomon can keep all his fancy clothes. Just feed me on time.

***

“And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink,” said Jesus. “Do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”

***

So if I seek God’s kingdom I’ll get food and treats and everything? Maybe some new toys too?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on October 6, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Storing up Stuff

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt - photo credit Wikipedia

The Parable of the Rich Fool by Rembrandt, 1627.

Hey person, I prayed and I’m still waiting for the fish.

God is being slow in answering my prayer. I figured fish would be falling from the sky by now.

What? You’re going to tell me one of Jesus’ parables about collecting too much stuff?

Fish isn’t stuff. I wouldn’t collect it, I’d eat it.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A crowd had gathered around Jesus and someone in the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

***

You tell him, Jesus!

Not me. I’m not trying to collect all kinds of possessions. I would eat the fish as soon as I got it.

I am listening.

***

And Jesus told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

***

I could help him eat his crops.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Then the man said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

***

I think I’m going to go be that man’s dog.

***

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

***

Oops! Hey person, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m the most faithfullest dog there is. I would never leave you.

***

Then Jesus said, “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

***

That doesn’t count toys and dog treats, does it?

 
16 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Praying for Fish

Jesus knocking at the doorHey person, last week when you told me a Bible story Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and Martha was in the kitchen fixing me something to eat while I was taking a nap – I mean, while I was listening intently to Jesus.

But I forgot what Jesus told me.

I was not sleeping – but okay, I’ll listen now.

***

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When He finished one of His disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray, say:

“’Father,

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.

 

***

I don’t think that works for me.

I’m tempted every day – by Scratchy’s food dish.

Yes, I’m listening, but you know if Scratchy ate all his food I wouldn’t have to finish it for him.

***

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’”

***

I would be the one needing the bread because I always eat everything I can find.

I guess I’d better listen to see how to get those three loaves of bread.

***

“Then the friend inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.’”

***

I wonder if the dog is in bed with them too.

***

“’I can’t get up and give you anything, the friend said.’”

Then Jesus said, “I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is a friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”

***

I’m on my way.

I’ve got to ask that guy for some bread. Maybe he has some fish too.

I don’t want to stay and listen. That guy might give his food to someone else.

Okay.

***

Jesus then said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

***

Does scratching on the door count for knocking?

***

Jesus asked, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

***

I knew God would give me a fish if I asked!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on September 22, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Who is my Neighbor?

Good SamaritanWhat are you telling me person? Someone gave Jesus a test?

Did He pass with flying colors, or did He just get a B or a C?

I’ll listen, but first I want to know what grade Jesus got?

***

An expert in the law stood up to test Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus asked the man what is written in the Law and the man answered “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

***

Wait a minute. Who did you say was giving the test?

I’m listening.

***

Then the man asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

***

If I’m his neighbor then he has to give me loves – and treats.

***

Jesus replied by telling a story.

***

I thought this already was a story.

***

Jesus said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.”

***

Can you hold the story, person? I’ve got to go after those robbers and give them what for.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

“A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.”

***

Did anybody tell those people that they’re walking on the wrong side of the road? Somebody might come and run them over.

***

“But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came to where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.”

***

Weren’t the Samaritans those people that everybody hated?

Yeah, I thought so.

***

“The Samaritan went to the man and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.”

***

I could have licked that man’s wounds. I bet that would have felt better than the wine.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Then the Samaritan put the man on his donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’”

Then Jesus asked, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

***

I don’t think I’m ever going to give Jesus a test. He didn’t even take it – but he sure gave that other guy a test.

***

The expert in the law replied to Jesus, “The one who had mercy on him was the neighbor.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

***

Can I go now? I’ve still got to give those robbers what for.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on September 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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I was Blind

Jesus healing a blind manJesus did more miracles? He’s just full of miracles, isn’t he?

I hope he does another food miracle. I’m getting hungry.

No food this time? I need a cookie before we start then.

On second thought, I need a bunch of cookies.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus saw a man who had been blind from birth. The Jews of Jesus’ day believed that physical problems were caused by sin and Jesus’ disciples asked Him if it had been the man or his parents who had sinned.

***

I guess that’s why I have perfect health. I’m such a perfect dog.

Being scared of thunder doesn’t count.

***

Jesus said that neither had sinned. The man was blind so the work of God might be displayed in his life.

Having said this, Jesus spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes.

***

I could do that with a slobbery kiss on that man’s eyes.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

“Go,” Jesus told the man, “wash in the pool of Siloam.” So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

***

I guess my slobbery kisses never made anyone see. Maybe I forgot the part about having to wash the slobber out again.

***

The man’s neighbors who had seen him begging in the past weren’t sure if it was him, but he assured them he was the same man who had been blind.

“How then were your eyes opened?” the neighbors demanded.

The man told them what had happened and that it was Jesus who had healed him. Then the neighbors took the man to the Pharisees who questioned him again.

***

It might have been a lot easier for that man if he had just put everything on Facebook.

I am too listening.

***

The day that Jesus had healed the man was a Sabbath so some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”

But others asked, “How can a sinner do such miraculous signs?”

Finally they turned to the blind man who had been healed and asked him what he thought? The man replied, “He is a prophet.”

***

That’s telling them!

***

The Jews still didn’t believe the man had been blind and received his sight so they talked to his parents. The parents were afraid the Jews would throw them out of the synagogue because they had threatened to do that to anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ, so they said they didn’t know how their son had been healed and to ask him.

So the Jews called the man who had been blind a second time and said, “Give glory to God. We know this man Jesus is a sinner.”

The man replied, “Whether He is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see.”

***

I think that guy wrote a famous song.

I’ll listen, but can I bark along?

***

The Jews asked the man again how Jesus had healed him, and the man answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become His disciples too?”

This made the Jews really mad and they hurled insults at him saying they were disciples of Moses and they didn’t even know where Jesus came from.

***

I know where Jesus came from. Can I go tell them?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The man answered the Jews, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where He comes from, yet He opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does His will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”

***

That’s telling them.

***

The Pharisees said, “How dare you lecture us!” and threw the man out.

Jesus found the man, told the man who He is and then said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Some Pharisees heard Jesus say this and said, “What? Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

***

My eyes are shut. I can’t see a thing.

Oh, wait. This is terrible. I don’t think I can do this.

Do I have to walk around with my eyes closed until Jesus comes back?

That’s going to be a long nap.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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