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Tag Archives: Jesus

Living Water

The Water of Life Discourse between Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, by Giacomo Franceschini, 17-18th century (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, Jesus isn’t going to make any more wine is he? I think I got a hangover from that last story you told me, when he turned water into wine.

Oh, good. Only water in this story, huh? I drink lots of water, so that’s good. Unless maybe, Jesus wants to make me some fish juice.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

***

Jesus decided to leave Judea, where he’d been hanging out for awhile, and go back to Galilee.

***

Is that a long way? How did he get there? Did he have a fancy car?

Jesus walked? What do you mean they didn’t have cars then? I thought they always had cars.

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

Jesus had to go through Samaria to get where he was going. The Jews hated the Samaritans so much that most of them would travel the extra distance around Samaria rather than go through it.

***

Jesus must have been in a hurry.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus came to a town called Sychar in Samaria to the place where Jacob’s well was. His disciples went into town to buy food. Jesus, who was tired from the journey, sat down by the well.

A Samaritan woman came to the well to draw water and Jesus asked her if she’d give him a drink. The woman was surprised that Jesus, a Jewish man, would talk to her, a Samaritan and a woman.

And Jesus said to her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

***

Living water? That sounds good. I want some of that.

I am listening. But could you fill my water bowl with living water next time?

***

The woman couldn’t figure out where Jesus could get any kind of water because he had nothing to draw water out of the well with.

***

I could jump in and get that water. Oops, I forgot. I’d be stuck in the well, wouldn’t I?

***

Jesus told the woman that everyone who drinks from the well will be thirsty again, but those who drink from the water Jesus gives them will never thirst. The water from Jesus will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Of course the woman wanted some of that water so she wouldn’t have to come drawing water from the well every day.

So Jesus told her to get her husband and come back, but when the woman said she had no husband Jesus said she was right. He said she’d had five husbands but the man she was with now wasn’t her husband.

***

That woman was busy. I’ve only had two girlfriends.

Can’t I make a comment sometimes?

***

The woman realized Jesus was a prophet when he knew all about her and she asked him some questions and then said that when the Messiah comes he will explain everything.

Jesus said, “I who speak to you am he.”

***

Jesus is the Messiah? I thought he was just someone who made fish and wine.

***

The woman left her water jar right there and ran back to town to tell everybody about Jesus. Many believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, but after they’d talked Jesus into staying two days with them many believed because of Jesus’ words.

***

Hey person, Jesus words are good, but do you think he’ll throw in some fish with that living water?

13 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, Jesus, Messiah, Pets, Samaria, Samaritan woman at the well

The First Miracle

27 Jan

Jesus making wine from water in The Marriage at Cana, a 14th-century fresco from the Visoki Dečani monastery (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, that’s pretty cool that Jesus said, “Follow me” and people followed him. I’ve been trying that all week and I can’t get anyone to follow me. Well, except you that is. Because I hook you to my leash and make you follow me.

I guess Jesus was pretty special. So after he got all those disciples to follow him, what did he do with them?

He took them to a party? No way! I knew there was a reason I wanted to follow Jesus.

Yes, I’ll for sure listen, person. I want to hear about this party.

***

Jesus’ mother was at a wedding in Cana of Galilee and both Jesus and his disciples were invited.

***

If I had been following Jesus back then I could have gone to the party too.

I am listening.

***

While Jesus was at the wedding they ran out of wine.

***

That’s not so bad. I just drink water. They could do that too.

Oh. It was really embarrassing in those days to run out of wine at a wedding? So what did they do?

Jesus mother told Jesus they were out of wine? Why did she do that?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Jesus told his mother his hour had not yet come, but he did what she wanted anyway.

His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.”

There were six stone water pots that each contained twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants to fill them with water and the servants filled them to the brim.

Then Jesus told them to draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.

The master of the feast tasted it and called the bridegroom. He said to the bridegroom, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

This was Jesus’ first miraculous sign and because of it his disciples believed in him.

***

Hey person, do you think maybe next time Jesus could turn the water into fish juice instead? I think I drank too much of that special water. I’m feeling kind of tipsy.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Cana, Christianity, dogs, faith, Galilee, Jesus, Pets, Water, Wine

Follow the Fish

20 Jan

Hey person, is it true that Jesus went up to people and said “Follow me,” and they followed him? He must have had some pretty good treats with him or something.

What do you mean they left their fish to follow Jesus? How could you leave a good meal to follow anyone?

I’ll try to listen. I’m still thinking about all those fish.

Some of the disciples had been introduced to Jesus when they were hanging out in the wilderness with John the Baptist. John told the disciples that Jesus was the Lamb of God.

They talked with Jesus, but later went back to their homes in Galilee and were busy fishing when Jesus showed up.

Jesus saw Simon, called Peter, and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake. And he said to them, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Fishers of men? If those men rubbed fish oil all over themselves I’d go fish for them. And I’d give them lots of big, slobbery kisses.

I’m listening.

Then Jesus walked a little further and he saw James and John in a boat preparing their nets with their father Zebedee. Jesus called James and John and they left their father with the boat and followed Jesus.

I bet they were just tired of working for their dad and wanted to have a good time.

What do you mean they didn’t always have a good time? All those miracles Jesus did? He even turned a little bit of food into enough to feed thousands of people. I bet those disciples always had all they wanted to eat. And good stuff too. Like fish.

Jesus said what?

Anyone who follows Him must deny himself and take up his cross daily?

What does that mean? Does that mean no treats or extra fish?

Oh. It means I have to go where Jesus wants me to go? I guess that’s not so bad. He hung out a lot with fishermen and sometimes he even helped them catch lots of fish – so I guess if I follow Jesus I’m following the fish.

16 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Fish, Galilee, James, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets

The Real Gift of Christmas

23 Dec

Christmas is almost here and I’m getting really excited. Our tree is up, the lights are on, and I’m looking for the presents. I keep hearing that Santa will bring me presents, but I think I saw my person putting some good smelling things all wrapped in brightly colored paper on top of the fridge.

I’m a pretty good jumper, but I wish I could jump just a little bit higher. All the good stuff that doesn’t go into the fridge seems to go on top of it. If I could get up there I could have a treat feast.

But there’s something else I wish I could do besides jump higher. I wish I could sneak back in time – not too far back, just a little over 2000 years. That’s not asking much, is it?

And I’d like to go to a place called Bethlehem. A little baby was born there one night. Well, I guess lots of babies were born there, but this one was special. This little baby was wrapped in cloths and laid in a manger because the inn was full and his parents had nowhere else to go except for where the animals hung out.

Since there were animals there already I’m sure no one would notice one extra dog in the place. Especially when those shepherds showed up. Everybody would figure I was one of their sheepdogs. Well maybe. I could have pretended I was a sheepdog anyway.

Even if I had to change my appearance so I could pass as a sheepdog, travel back in time, and go to a faraway place, it would be all worth it to see God making his appearance on earth as a baby.

***

Hey person, I think I knocked a ball onto the top of the fridge. Could you get it for me, and maybe knock some of those presents down while you’re at it?

What are you saying, person? The true gift of Christmas is Jesus? That baby in a manger is the gift? Never mind then. I guess Jesus isn’t hanging out on top of the fridge.

***

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 23, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Christianity, Christmas, dogs, God, Jesus, John 3:16, Manger, Pets, Religion and Spirituality

Yeshua is Born

16 Dec

Yeshua (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay person, in the last Bible story you told me you said Moses climbed a mountain and died, and Joshua took over. But you weren’t going to tell me any stories about Joshua right now because there’s someone else you want to tell me about who has the same name, but different.

Okay, I’m waiting. Who is this person with the same name – but different?

His name is what? Yeshua? That’s a strange name. I’ve never heard of a name like that before.

And Joshua had a name like it? Wait a minute. Joshua’s name is Joshua.

Person, you are really confusing. Okay, I’ll listen.

Yeshua is a shortened version of Joshua’s Hebrew name Yehoshua? Joshua was sometimes called Yeshua. How come Joshua has so many names?

Because his Hebrew name is translated to his English name when the Bible is translated into English? Okay person, what would his name be in Doglish?

I am listening.

This story is about Yeshua, who was born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph, and laid in a manger because there was no room at the inn.

Wait a minute person. You told me this story last year. But it was about Jesus. There can’t be two babies who hung out in mangers.

They were the same baby? Now I’m really confused.

Yeshua is Jesus’ Hebrew name. Then how come we don’t call him Joshua like that other guy.

Because Jesus’ name was translated into Greek first (part of the Bible was written in Greek?) and then into English, so it became Jesus instead of Joshua.

Oh dog, that’s all Greek to me. What would his name be if it was translated again into Doglish?

The name Yeshua means Salvation? I know what it would be in Doglish then.

Dinner.

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 16, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Bible, Christianity, Christmas, dogs, Jesus, Joshua, Pets, Yehoshua, Yeshua

Lifted Up

02 Dec

The Brazen Serpent, by Benjamin West; among the overthrown, an unmistakable reference to the Laocoön (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, were those Israelites finally happy after Moses struck that rock and got water to come out?

What do you mean, they had more problems? It seems like one thing or another is always happening to them.

They wanted to go through Edom and the king wouldn’t let them? What’s with that king? Doesn’t he know who he’s dealing with? After all, those Israelites have me on their side.

Yes, I’m listening person.

So the Israelites had to go along the route to the Red Sea in order to go around Edom, and they grew impatient and started complaining again.

Weren’t they going the wrong direction? I might start complaining too.

I am listening.

The Israelites complained that there was no bread or water, and they were really sick of that manna stuff.

I guess the Lord was sick of their complaining because He sent venomous snakes among them and some people got bit and died.

I guess it takes a lot to get those people’s attention.

The people went to Moses and admitted that they’d sinned against him and against the Lord, and asked Moses to pray to the Lord to take the snakes away.

Then the Lord told Moses to make a bronze snake and put it on a pole. When anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake he would live.

That must have been some magical snake. Maybe we should get one like that.

What do you mean we have one like that in a way?

Jesus was lifted up like the snake? Jesus isn’t a snake.

Oh. Jesus said that just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert He would be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

But person, it’s almost Christmas time when Jesus comes as a little baby. Why would anyone lift up a little baby like that?

Jesus grew up? Really? I hope he doesn’t grow up too fast. I want to make sure to get my Christmas presents.

***

Oh, I almost forgot. Speaking of being lifted up, I got so excited about Christmas coming that I almost forgot that I have something to celebrate today. Today is National Mutt Day. So I thought I would show you a picture of one of my favorite mutts.

Shouldn’t I get some presents for National Mutt Day? After all, this is my special day.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 2, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christmas, faith, God, Israelite, Jesus, Moses, National Mutt Day, Pets, Snake

Tablets of Stone

30 Sep

Moses with the tablets of the Ten Commandments, painting by Rembrandt (1659) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I guess God didn’t want the Israelites hanging out in one place very long. They had manna and water out of the rock, and they’d chased those nasty old Amalekites away so they had it pretty good. But they moved again.

In the third month after they left Egypt they came to the Desert of Sinai and camped in front of Mt. Sinai.

God told Moses to go up on the mountain to meet with Him, but not to let anyone else come up there. The people stood at the foot of the mountain and it was covered in smoke because the Lord came down on the mountain in fire. Smoke billowed up from the mountain and the whole mountain trembled violently.

I think I’d be running the other way about now. I bet Moses was scared.

I’m listening, person.

Moses was up on the mountain forty days and forty nights.

That’s a long time. What was he doing up there all that time?

He was what? Talking to God for forty days? They must have had a lot of catching up to do.

Yes, I’ll listen.

While Moses was on that mountain God gave him two tablets of stone with the Ten Commandments written on them.

What are the Ten Commandments?

No way! You mean I have to change my ways? I don’t even want to repeat those.

Okay… Here’s what my person says the Ten Commandments are.

Honor your people and always do what they say the first time they say it.
Don’t bark unless you’re chasing away a bad guy.
Don’t chase cats.
Don’t eat the cat’s food.
Don’t eat treats out of the litter box.
Don’t chew on things that don’t belong to you.
Don’t steal food.
Be good when your people leave you alone in the house.
Don’t jump the fence and run off.
No mischief.

Hey person, I can’t follow those. I just can’t. They’re too hard. Especially that “No Mischief” one.

What?! There’s a way around it? How? What do I have to do?

My person says that people can’t follow the Ten Commandments for people any better than I can follow the ones she gave me. She says God had to give people another way to get to heaven because nobody can do it themselves. She says that’s a whole other story but it has to do with God loving us so much that He sent His Son to come down and take our place and die on a cross for us.

You mean God’s Son takes care of it for me?

Woo woo! I’m going to go get into some mischief.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on September 30, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Moses, Mount Sinai, Pets, Ten Commandments

Seeds, Treats, and the Word

24 Jun

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Landscape with the Parable of the Sower, 1557. Image via Wikipedia

Hey person, are you going to tell me one of those Pair a Bulls again so I can make up a new story to go with it?

Woo woo! Which one are you going to tell me?

I am listening. And I’m sitting too.

My person says that Jesus told a story to a large crowd about a farmer who went out to sow his seed.

Did that farmer put seeds in his sewing machine? Wouldn’t that mess it up?

I’m listening, but…

As the farmer scattered the seed some fell along the path, was trampled on, and the birds ate it.

Oh, I get it now. He didn’t even have a sewing machine.

Yes, I’m listening.

Some of the seed fell on rock and the plants withered because they had no moisture.

All of the plants are withering around here this summer.

Okay, I’ll be quiet.

Some seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants.

Yikes!

Other seed fell on good soil. It grew and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.

Wow! That’s a big crop.

Is that it? That’s the end of the story?

What? You mean the disciples didn’t even know what the story meant? Jesus had to tell them? What did he say?

The seed is the word of God? Really?

So those along the path heard the word, and then the devil came and took it away from their hearts so they wouldn’t believe and be saved.

Oops! What else?

The ones on the rock receive the word with joy, but they have no root. So they believe for awhile but when a time of testing comes they fall away.

What about the thorns?

Those hear the word but they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they don’t mature.

Am I mature, person? I am, aren’t I?

Okay, what’s the last one?

The seed on the good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

That’s got to be me. I could grow carrots. I like carrots. Maybe beans.

Is it my turn now, person? Do I get to make up a story?

Okay, here goes. A person took her dog out to play and tossed some treats to him. But the person was a lousy shot.

The first treat landed way past where the dog was. A crafty coyote ate the treat before the dog could get to it.

The next treat fell in the road and a car ran over it and smashed it to smithereens.

Another treat fell in the middle of a prickly pear cactus and the dog couldn’t get it because there were too many pricklers in the way.

But the person finally learned how to throw right and the dog caught the next treat, and got so many more treats after that that he shared the treats with his friends.

Hey person, that made me hungry. Can you get me a treat? Just make sure you aim right when you toss it to me.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 24, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, Farmer, God, Jesus, Pets, Plant, Seed

The Prodigal Dog

17 Jun

The Return of the Prodigal Son (Leonello Spada, Louvre, Paris) Image via Wikipedia

Hey person, will you tell me another one of those stories Jesus told about the two bulls.

Yeah, that’s what I mean. One of those pair a bulls that Jesus told.

My person says one of Jesus’ famous parables is about a son who just wants to party. So he talks his father into giving him his inheritance early and he goes to a faraway land and spends it all partying. After the son’s money is gone there’s a famine in the land and the only job he can get is one feeding pigs.

Hey, there’s animals in this story. Did he get all muddy with the pigs?

I am listening person.

He what? He didn’t have anything to eat? Those pigs had something to eat.

Okay. I’ll listen.

The son decided to go home and work for his father like a hired servant. At least he would have something to eat. But when he was still a long way off his father saw him and ran to him. He was so happy that his son was home that he treated him royally and had a big feast for him.

The older son, who had been home serving his father the whole time got really upset that his younger brother, who had squandered all his father’s money, was getting a feast in his honor. The older son felt that he’d never had such special treatment and he’d always done everything right.

Didn’t that older son even get a birthday party?

Okay, I’m listening. I promise.

The father told the older son that he has always been with him, and everything the father has belongs to the older son. But his brother was dead and now is alive, was lost and is found.

Hey person, can I try updating this story so my friends will understand it better?

Okay, here goes.

A young pup talked his person into giving him an extra share of meaty bones and then he ran off with them. He had a big party and treated his friends to some of the bones and gave some to girl dogs so they’d let him make more young pups.

Then he ran out of bones and he couldn’t find anything to eat. His friends he’d shared his bones with had all disappeared and the girl dogs were too busy feeding their puppies.

So he tucked his tail between his legs and headed back home, hoping he could do something to earn his keep and his person would let him stay.

When he got close to home his person saw him and ran out to him. His person gave him a great big bowl of the best dog food and some more meaty bones too.

But the other dog that lived there got really upset. He was always a good dog and he didn’t get any meaty bones.

The dog’s person gave the other dog some loves and told him he always had a home and love there, but he had thought the young pup was dead or lost, and now he was alive and found.

Hey person, if I run off and come back will you give me some meaty bones?

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 17, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

Tags: Christianity, faith, Jesus, parable, Pets, Prodigal Son

Modern Day Pair a Bulls

10 Jun

The Good Samaritan by Rembrandt (1630) shows the Good Samaritan making arrangements with the innkeeper. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What person, you mean Jesus told lots of stories? I like to tell stories. Does that make me like Jesus?

He told what? Para what? Parables? What would Jesus want two bulls for? At least he’s telling stories about animals.

A parable is a what? A story that teaches something? What would it teach?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says one of Jesus’ most famous parables is about the Good Samaritan. Jesus told this story because he was discussing the most important commandments and the second most important is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey person, I love my neighbor. I love everyone who gives me loves.

I’m listening, person.

Someone asked Jesus who his neighbor was, so Jesus told this story. But my person says he told stories about things that the people of his day could relate to that we might not know about today. She promised she would explain them to me. You better, person.

My person says a man was traveling when robbers attacked and beat him and left him on the side of the road half dead.

A priest came by and saw the man and passed by on the other side of the road.

Then a Levite came by, saw the man and passed by on the other side as well.

Hey person, what’s a Levite?

It is? My person said that Levites were people that worked for God in the temple. I thought people like that would want to stop and help.

Okay, I’m listening – but I don’t get that priest and that Levite, leaving that poor man there. What’s going to happen to him?

He did? A Samaritan came by? What’s a Samaritan?

The Jewish people that Jesus was telling the story to hated Samaritans? They wouldn’t have anything to do with them? Oh no, that poor man is really in trouble. If the priest and Levite won’t stop I bet that Samaritan is going to go running by?

He did? That Samaritan stopped to help? And he even took the poor man to an inn and paid for him to stay there until he was better?

So I guess that Samaritan was the best neighbor, wasn’t he?

But person, if Jesus told a story that people of his time would understand, maybe we should change the story so people today will understand it better.

Okay, here goes.

A dog was walking along a trail and coyotes came and attacked it and left it half dead.

A guide dog came by, sniffed at the dog and walked on.

Then a service dog came by and did the same thing.

But a pit bull came by, licked the dog’s wounds, and found the dog’s collar that had ended up in the bushes. The pit bull got his person to take the dog to the vet, and gave the collar to the vet so they could contact the hurt dog’s person.

Do you think that story will make more sense? I even put a pit bull in with the pair a bulls.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 10, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Levite, Parable of the Good Samaritan, Pets, Samaritan