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Prison Song

06 May
Paul and Silas with the Jailer

Paul and Silas with the Jailer – Artist Unknown

Hey person, whatever happened to that Saul guy? You know, the one that Jesus struck blind on the road to Damascus?

Who’s Paul? I’m talking about Saul.

What? They’re the same person? Now I’m confused. How come he has two names?

So most people called him Paul after he met Jesus? Was that because he was like a different person? So what happened to him after that?

He got to go on road trips? I want to go on a road trip. You haven’t taken me anywhere in a long time. Except on my trails, that is.

Where did he go on those road trips? Did he have a really cool car? Maybe he had a 4Runner like ours.

They what!? They didn’t have any cars then? They had to walk everywhere? What’s wrong with them? I don’t want to go on that kind of road trip. So where’d he walk to?

Why would he do that? He walked to different cities to tell people about Jesus and start churches? And it took days to get to some of those places? Boy, he was dedicated. I’m sure glad I don’t have to walk all those places.

Okay, I’m listening.

My person says one of the places Paul went was called Philippi. He and his friends met a slave girl who had a spirit in her that could predict the future. She was making lots of money for her owners, but she kept following Paul and his friends around and bothering them. Finally, in the name of Jesus, Paul commanded that spirit to come out of the girl.

I hope Paul gave that spirit what for when it came out of the girl.

Okay person, I’m listening.

The owners were really mad because now they couldn’t make any money off that girl, so they dragged Paul and his friend Silas to the authorities where they were beaten and put in prison.

Ouch! I bet Paul and Silas were pretty upset.

They what? They prayed and sang hymns? In the prison? At midnight? I don’t get it person. I would be howling.

My person says there was a big earthquake when Paul and Silas were singing and all the prison doors flew open. The jailer thought all the prisoners had escaped and was about to kill himself because he would be executed for letting the prisoners go.

Wow, I wouldn’t want his job.

Paul told the jailer not to kill himself because all the prisoners were still there. Then the jailer asked Paul and Silas what he must do to be saved.

Person, what does he need to be saved from. Was there going to be another earthquake?

I am listening.

Paul and Silas told the jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved.”

They told the jailer and his household about Jesus. Then the jailer washed their wounds and he and his family were baptized. He took Paul and Silas to his house and fed them and was filled with joy because he and his family had come to believe in God.

Hey person, if I tell someone about God will I get a midnight meal too?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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He’s Coming!

22 Apr
the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus...

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus as painted by Michelangelo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person says that around the time that Jesus was crucified there was a person living in Jerusalem named Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and he believed that the people who followed Jesus were going against God.

Hey person, what’s a Pharisee? Is that something like a fairy with good eye sight?

A Pharisee was a what? A religious leader? Wasn’t Jesus a religious leader? How come Saul thought Jesus’ followers were going against God?

Most of the Pharisees didn’t think Jesus was the messiah? Then they didn’t have very good eye sight at all. Maybe they should change their name to the Phariblinds.

Okay person, I’m listening.

My person said that Saul stood by and approved the stoning of Stephen, one of Jesus’ disciples, and then he wanted to go after all of Jesus’ followers in Damascus.

I hope somebody warns those disciples that Saul is coming.

They what? They were warned, but they didn’t need to be? I don’t get it.

Jesus took care of everything? He did? Did he send dogs on ahead to bark a warning?

Okay, I’m listening. Really.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus a light from heaven flashed around him and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul asked who it was and Jesus said it was him. Then Jesus told Saul to get up and go into the city and he would be told what he must do.

Saul got up and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t see anything. See, I told you he was a Phariblind.

The men with him had to lead him by hand into Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.

Then the Lord came to a disciple named Ananias in a vision and told him to go where Saul was staying and restore his sight. Ananias knew who Saul was and why he had come to Damascus, so he protested.

I guess that dog must have barked his warning to Ananias.

I am listening, person.

The Lord told Ananias that Saul was his chosen instrument so Ananias went and restored his sight, and something like scales fell off Saul’s eyes.

Does that mean Saul wasn’t a Phariblind anymore?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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A Net Full of Fish

15 Apr
The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of...

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Listen to the Story

08 Apr

Jesus resurrected and Mary Magdalene

My person said I have to stay really quiet and listen because the Easter story is very important. I’ll try, person.

My person says that Jesus was crucified on the cross. That must have hurt.

Yes, I’m listening, person. I still don’t get why he was crucified though.

So God can’t look on sin and we all have it? Even me? Not me.

Well yeah, I do that but… I do that too, but it’s not my fault.

Jesus is the only one qualified to take all our sins upon himself and he had to die on the cross to do it? So God can look at us because Jesus took our sin for us? It’s a free gift from him?

We have to do what? Ask for that free gift? That’s all? That sounds really simple.

So what does that have to do with Easter?

Jesus didn’t stay dead? How could that happen?

My person says that after Jesus died he was buried in a tomb and a very large stone was rolled in front of it. On Sunday morning Mary Magdalene and some other women went to the tomb. They didn’t know how they would move the stone, but when they got there they found it had already been rolled away.

Mary ran to Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, and told them someone had taken Jesus and they didn’t know where he was.

Peter and John ran to the tomb and found nothing inside but the linen and burial cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus. They didn’t understand what was happening and they went home.

Mary Magdalene stayed there and stood outside the tomb crying. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels sitting where Jesus had been.

Person, you didn’t tell me there were angels in the story.

I’m really listening, person.

The angels asked Mary why she was crying and she said they had taken her Lord away and she didn’t know where they had put him.

Mary turned around and saw a man standing there. She thought it was the gardener.

A gardener? Does he grow good stuff to eat?

I’m sorry person. I couldn’t help myself. You made me think about food.

Okay. The man asked Mary why she was crying and who she was looking for.

Mary said to the man that if he had carried Jesus away could he please tell her where he had put him and she would go get him.

The man then said one word to her. “Mary.” She immediately recognized that it was Jesus.

But person, you just told me Jesus died on the cross. How could that be him?

He did? God raised him from the dead? And Mary was the first one to see him?

Do you think I could see him too?

 
24 Comments

Posted by on April 8, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Who’s Talking?

01 Apr

Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey

What kind of day is it today, person? What’s a Palm Sunday? Is that when you give me loves all day with the palm of your hand?

Well, what is it then?

He did? Jesus rode on a donkey? Hey, there’s an animal in this story. I think I’m going to like it. Does this donkey talk like Balaam’s donkey?

Okay, I’ll listen.

My person says Jesus came riding into Jerusalem on a donkey and the people were happy to see him because of the miracles he had done. They spread their cloaks and branches on the road before Jesus and they took palm branches and went out to meet him.

Oh, now I get it. That’s why it’s called Palm Sunday because of the palm branches. What’s a palm branch, person? I don’t think I’ve seen one of those.

Why do they grow in Phoenix, but not here? Can we go to Phoenix so I can see palm branches?

Okay, I’m listening.

When Jesus and the donkey came by the people shouted, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

Some of the Pharisees (the guys who didn’t like Jesus because he gave them what for) told Jesus to tell his disciples to be quiet. You know what Jesus said? He said, “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

You mean the donkey doesn’t talk, but the stones do?

 
23 Comments

Posted by on April 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Why Did They Want to Kill Him?

25 Mar

Bongo with plastic eggsWhat are you telling me, person? You mean that little baby you told me about last Christmas – the one who was born where all the animals were – grew up to be a man and then people wanted to kill him? Why would they want to do that?

Yeah, Jesus. That’s who I’m talking about. Why would they want to kill him?

He did? He performed miracles and healed lots of people? Is that why they wanted to kill him? I don’t get it.

Did Jesus heal animals too?

He taught people about God and the Kingdom of Heaven? Didn’t they like God? Is that why they wanted to kill him?

He told people to do things like love their enemies? Okay, now I get it. They must have thought he was nuts. He tried to take away the fun of giving someone what for.

What, that wasn’t it either? Then what?

People followed him instead of the religious leaders? And Jesus told the religious leaders they were hypocrites that were leading people away from God? Oh, now I get it. I think.

So the religious leader got jealous of Jesus? And mad at him?

He did? He told people he is the Son of God? Why would he say that if he knew it would upset people? He could have just kept quiet and no one would have bothered him.

But person, that doesn’t make sense at all. You mean he came and was born so he could die on a cross? I don’t get it. Couldn’t he have asked God to rescue him?

He could? Then why didn’t he? Did he at least give all those religious leaders what for?

No way! He asked God to forgive them? I really don’t get it now.

He died on that cross because he loves us? I love you person, but I don’t want to die on a cross.

He had to take all the sins on himself so everybody could be with God? Didn’t God like Jesus?

He loves people too, so He was willing to sacrifice His only Son for all the people? And he saved the lives of animals too because they didn’t have to be sacrificed anymore? That’s cool. That means He loves animals too.

But I still don’t get it.

I have to hear the rest of the story and that happens on Easter?

Oh, Easter. That’s the day I get to steal the candy out of the plastic eggs.

 

 

 
28 Comments

Posted by on March 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Walk or Swim?

29 Jan

Jesus Walking on WaterWhat!? No animals and no food in this story? I don’t want to listen then. I’m outta here.

Water? Did you say water? A big lake? One that I can go swimming in? I like swimming. Okay, I’ll listen. But this better be good.

This one happened right after last week’s story huh? Right after Jesus fed all those people. I’m getting hungry now. You’re making me hungry thinking about those fish.

Okay, I’m listening.

My person says that after Jesus fed all those people he sent his disciples off in a boat to go to the other side of the lake they were at. Is this lake bigger than my swimming hole?

What? They’d gone three or three and a half miles and they were in the middle of the lake? I think that’s bigger person. Is that bigger?

Okay, I’m really listening this time.

My person said Jesus had gone up on a mountainside to be by himself and pray, and then in the early hours of the morning – somewhere between 3:00 and 6:00 AM – he decided to go meet up with the disciples.

Did the disciples leave Jesus a boat?

They didn’t? He’s going to swim all that way? I could swim with him. That would be fun. Do you think he’d throw some sticks for me to fetch?

No way! How’s he going to do that? Walk on the water!? And it was windy with lots of waves? I’ve got to see this.

My person says Jesus walked all that way on the water and when he got to the boat the disciples thought he was a ghost and they were scared. I’m not afraid of ghosts. After all, I’ve made friends with Ghost Dog.

Well, Jesus told the disciples not to be afraid – that it was him and not a ghost. Once the disciple Peter realized it was Jesus he wanted to go out walking on the water too, so Jesus told him to come on out.

I’d like to go out in that water too.

So Peter got out of the boat and I followed him. I just wanted to swim but Peter started walking on the water. Wow! I didn’t know Peter could do that.

I guess Peter didn’t know he could do that either, because when he saw how windy it was he got scared and started sinking. Peter cried out for Jesus to save him. Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter and told him he didn’t have enough faith.

Jesus and Peter climbed into the boat, but they had to reach down and pull me in. I didn’t know it was so hard to get into a boat from the water. Okay person, I know I wasn’t really there, but it’s fun to pretend.

After Peter and Jesus got into the boat – and pulled me in – the wind died down. The disciples in the boat worshipped Jesus and said that truly he was the Son of God.

Now that there’s no wind, can we go back in the water again? Maybe James and John would like to come with us too. And how about Ghost Dog? I bet he’d like to go swimming.

 

 Image courtesy karenswhimsy

 
24 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Where’s the Food?

22 Jan

English: Jesus feeding a crowd with 5 loaves o...

Can I tell them? Can I tell them now? Okay, I’ll tell them the story first. But I’m really excited.

What! No animals in this story? There’s something else I like in the story? It better be good because if there are no animals I’m not sure if I want to listen.

Food? There’s food in this story? Okay, I’m listening person. I like food. I like it a lot.

My person said that after Jesus had grown up he became pretty famous in the area where he lived. He’d performed so many miracles and healed so many people that he could hardly go anywhere without bunches of people following him.

What kind of miracles did Jesus do person? I want a miracle. Okay, I’ll listen if you promise to tell me about a miracle – and food.

My person said one day Jesus tried to go to a deserted place alone with his disciples but people heard about it and lots of them followed him. Jesus had compassion (what does that word mean?) for the people and began teaching them and healing their sick.

Well, it got to be late in the day and Jesus’ disciples started getting hungry, so they figured all the people there were getting hungry too. I bet even their dogs were getting hungry. So anyway, the disciples went to Jesus and told him to send the people away to the villages so they could get something to eat.

You know what Jesus told his disciples to do? He told them to feed all those people themselves.

There were about five thousand men plus all the women and children there – and their dogs. Those disciples just looked at Jesus like he was crazy and said it would take about eight months’ wages to feed all those people – and dogs.

One of the disciples said there was a boy there with five barley loaves and two fish but that wasn’t nearly enough food to go around for all the people.

It might not feed all those people but it would be good enough for me. Mmm fish.

Okay person, I’ll be quiet and listen.

Jesus told the disciples to bring him the food and then he told all the people to sit down. He took the five loaves and two fish, blessed and broke the bread and gave it to the disciples to give to the people. All those people ate and got full and when they were finished the disciples collected twelve baskets of leftover food.

Jesus is pretty awesome. I think that leftover food is just about the right amount for me.

Dog Treats

And if it’s not enough you can hop on over to Love of My Dogs where you can get great dog treat recipes and see my interview. This is so exciting!

 
27 Comments

Posted by on January 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Escape to Egypt

15 Jan
hills in the Judean desert

“…out of Egypt I called my son.” Hosea 11:1

Hey person, whose son is in Egypt? Are there animals in this story?

They worshipped what in Egypt? No way! They worshipped cats!? It’s a good thing that son was called out of Egypt. Who was that son anyway?

He was? How did he get there? I thought he was in…?

Okay person, I’ll let you tell the story.

My person says Jesus had his first big adventure when he was still very little. I like adventures. I’m listening person.

Okay, I’m quiet now.

My person says that after those Magi she talked about in the last Bible story gave Jesus his gifts, you know, that gold, frankincense, myrrh, and those chew toys, they were warned in a dream not to go back to that sneaky King Herod, so they went home another way.

After the Magi left, an angel came to Joseph in a dream and told him to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt because King Herod was going to look for Jesus to kill him. Sure enough when that sneaky evil King Herod realized he’d been outwitted by the Magi he got really mad and wanted to find and kill Jesus. But Jesus had already left for Egypt.

It wasn’t too long before sneaky evil King Herod died and an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream again, and told him they could go back to Israel. I hope they didn’t bring any of those cats back with them.

When they got back to Israel, without any cats, they found out that King Herod’s evil son Archelaus was ruling in Judea – the area they had been in before they went to Egypt – and they decided to go to a town called Nazareth in the district of Galilee instead. My person says that Nazareth is where Jesus grew up.

That was a pretty exciting adventure for a little kid – running away from an evil king, all the way from Israel to Egypt. I’m sure glad it ended okay. But person, I think there’s something wrong with my ears. I keep hearing this meowing sound.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Magi

08 Jan
The Magi Journeying

My person says that there are a lot of Nativity scenes that show the wise men bringing gifts to the baby Jesus. She says that these wise men were probably not there at all that first night when Jesus was lying in a manger.

These wise men, called Magi, were probably astrologers. Because they studied the stars they would recognize a new star when it appeared in the sky. They knew what the star meant and came to worship the baby Jesus who was born king of the Jews. The Magi came from the east – maybe from an area which is currently in modern day Iraq.

Okay person, we have Magi and a star – but where are the animals? I’m ready to leave.

My person said to hold on. “Sigh.” She said these Magi were probably rich considering the gifts they brought along for the baby Jesus. They could most likely afford camels for their travels. Well, camels are much bigger than me, but I guess they are still animals.

Those Magi came to Israel riding on their camels and didn’t know exactly where to find Jesus, so they went to King Herod in Jerusalem. King Herod had no clue where to find Jesus, but he was very upset to hear about another king. I guess I might feel the same way if another dog took over my house.

So King Herod had to ask the chief priests and teachers of the law where the Christ was to be born. They told him the prophet Micah had said that the Christ would be born in Bethlehem.

That sneaky King Herod found out from the Magi just when the star had appeared and told them that after they found the Christ child to let him know so he could go worship him.

The Magi went on their way and the star went ahead of them and stopped over the house where Mary and Jesus were. They bowed down and worshipped Jesus and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Wow Jesus, you got some pretty awesome gifts – but did they give you any chew toys or treats?

 
38 Comments

Posted by on January 8, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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