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Up the Mountain

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) b...

The upper part of The Transfiguration (1520) by Raphael, depicting Christ miraculously discoursing with Moses and Elijah. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What? Jesus is making his disciples climb a mountain?

I hope it wasn’t a hot day. I don’t like climbing mountains on hot days.

Oh. He only took three of his disciples? Were the other ones out of shape? I bet that mountain was too high and steep for them and they couldn’t make it.

So who did Jesus take?

I am listening to the story. I’m just trying to help you along.

***

Jesus took Peter, James, and John up the mountain with him.

And when they were alone He was transfigured before them.

***

Did He become all crippled and ugly looking?

Well, isn’t disfigured the same as transfigured?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus face shone like the sun and his clothes became as white as light.

And then Moses and Elijah appeared and they were talking with Jesus.

***

Hey, I thought this was a story about Jesus. How did Moses and Elijah get into it?

I am listening.

***

Peter, James, and John were frightened and didn’t know what to do so Peter said, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters – one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

***

Do you think they could put up a shelter for me too? I bet it’s hot up there on that mountain.

***

While Peter was still speaking a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

***

Now I’m really in trouble. It was bad enough when you were telling me to listen, but now God is.

***

When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified.

***

Were they having trouble listening too?

***

Jesus came and touched the disciples. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The disciples looked around and saw no one except Jesus.

***

Is this like the Twilight Zone or something?

***

As Jesus and the disciples were coming back down the mountain Jesus told them not to tell anyone what they’d seen until Jesus had been raised from the dead.

The disciples weren’t sure what Jesus meant, but they didn’t tell anyone for a long time.

***

This was really a strange story. Jesus didn’t heal anybody, and He didn’t help anyone catch a bunch of fish.

Hey, maybe Moses and Elijah went to get a bunch of fish and they’ll be back with dinner.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Take up your Cross

English: Christ Handing the Keys to St. Peter ...

English: Christ Handing the Keys to St. Peter by Pietro Perugino (1481-82) Fresco, 335 x 550 cm Cappella Sistina, Vatican. Ελληνικά: Λεπτομέρεια από την νωπογραφία του Πιέτρο Περουτζίνο, Ο Χριστός Παραδίδει τα Κλειδιά στον Πέτρο, 335 x 600 cm, Καπέλα Σιξτίνα, Πόλη του Βατικανού. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, I don’t know if I like this next Bible story. Can’t you just tell another one about swimming – or fishing?

Okay, I’ll listen to the story. But if there’s no fish in it I want some treats when you’re finished.

***

Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi and he asked his disciples, “Who do people say I am?”

***

I know who he is. He’s the guy who makes lots of fish appear.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

The disciples replied to Jesus, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

“But what about you?” Jesus asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

***

God must really love us to send His Son to give us lots of fish.

I am listening, but don’t you think that was a really important observation I just made?

***

Jesus told Peter he was blessed because it was the Father in heaven who revealed to him who Jesus is, and He told His disciples not to tell anyone that He is the Christ.

Then He began to explain to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and teachers of the law, and that He must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

***

Wouldn’t the disciples protect Jesus?

***

Peter had that idea and he began to rebuke Jesus saying, “Never, Lord. This shall never happen to you!”

***

I bet Jesus felt better after that.

***

This is what Jesus said to Peter. “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

***

I bet Peter tucked his tail between his legs after that.

***

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

***

If I have to deny myself to follow Jesus, does that mean I have to give up treats?

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Sinking Feeling

Ivan Aivazovsky's painting Walking on Water (1888)

Ivan Aivazovsky’s painting Walking on Water (1888) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can we go back to last week’s Bible story, person? The one where Jesus fed all those people and they had lots of leftovers for me?

What? You’re going to tell me a different story? Well, there’d better be food in it then.

***

After Jesus fed all the people…

***

And I ate the leftovers.

I am listening.

***

Jesus urged his disciples to get into the boat and head across the lake for Capernaum while He dismissed the crowd.

After the crowd left, Jesus went up on a mountain to pray and when evening came he was there alone.

***

I wonder if Jesus would like me to come and give him some loves.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The boat the disciples were in was already way out on the lake and it was being tossed around on the waves because the wind was against it.

***

I hope those disciples didn’t get sea sick.

***

In the middle of the night Jesus took a walk on the lake and headed for the disciples. When the disciples saw Jesus they thought He was a ghost and they were terrified.

But Jesus told them it was Him and said not to be afraid.

***

I wouldn’t be afraid. I’d jump into the water with Jesus.

I wonder if he has any sticks for me to fetch.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Peter said, “Lord, if it’s you tell me to come to you on the water.

Jesus said, “Come.”

Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.

***

Did Peter jump right in with a big splash. That’s what I would do.

***

When Peter saw the wind he was afraid and began to sink. He cried out to Jesus, “Lord, save me!”

***

Why doesn’t Peter just do the dog paddle?

***

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught Peter. And Jesus said to Peter, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When Jesus and Peter climbed into the boat the wind died down. Those who were in the boat worshiped Jesus and said, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

***

I sure hope that when Peter started sinking he felt some fish swimming around his feet and grabbed them. All this walking on water is making me hungry.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on June 30, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Empty Tomb

Paper mache empty tombThat is not the same tomb that I ate a few days ago. That one was made of squishy newspaper and chicken wire.

I would never eat a rock. Who do you think I am, anyway?

This is supposed to be the tomb they buried Jesus in? Why would they bury him in a rock?

Yeah, I guess it would be hard to steal him out of a big, rock tomb when a humongous rock covered the entrance.

But who would want to? Why would anyone want to steal a body?

Jesus what? He told people he would be killed and after three days he would rise again?

So the elders, chief priests and scribes wanted to seal Jesus in so his disciples couldn’t steal his body and say he had risen?

But what if Jesus was telling the truth? Wouldn’t He be stuck inside that big rock tomb? What would He do then?

Okay, I’ll listen to the rest of the story.

***

Jesus died on the cross on a Friday, and on Sunday Mary Magdalene and some of the other women who had followed Him went to His tomb. They found the stone rolled back from the door of the tomb.

***

So Jesus snuck out right through the front door.

I am listening.

***

Mary Magdalene ran to tell Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, that they didn’t know where Jesus’ body had been taken. Peter and John ran to the tomb and only found the linen cloths that Jesus had been buried in. So they left and went back to their homes.

***

Does that mean Jesus had to go and knock on their doors?

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

When Peter and John left, Mary stayed behind weeping. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels in there. The angels asked her why she was weeping and Mary said, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.

After she said this, Mary turned around and saw Jesus, but she thought He was the gardener. She said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”

Mary finally realized this was Jesus and was overjoyed.

***

Did Jesus look for a place to hide after that so he wouldn’t be killed again?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Later, when the disciples were hiding behind locked doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus appeared to them.

***

He went right through the locked door? Does that mean He could have gotten out of that tomb even if the door wasn’t rolled away?

That would make it easy for Him to hide so he wouldn’t be killed again.

***

Jesus won’t be killed again. God raised Him from the dead so that He will have everlasting life. And you can have everlasting life too if you declare Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

***

I’ve just got one question.

Can you make the next empty tomb out of bread please?

 
24 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Feet and Bread

English: The Last Supper

English: The Last Supper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is the beginning of what week?

Holy week? I haven’t been digging any holes lately.

Maybe it’s all those ant holes that I’ve seen popping up lately.

What do you mean it’s not that kind of holes? What other kind of holes are there?

Okay, I’m listening.

Today is Palm Sunday and I told the story of that last year?

I did?

Oh yeah. That’s when Jesus came riding on a donkey and everybody waved palm branches and shouted Hosanna.

But you said it’s a whole week. Did Jesus ride on a donkey all week?

I am letting you tell the story. I’m just asking questions to get you going.

***

Jesus shared the Passover meal with his disciples later in the week.

***

Food? This story is about food? I’m all ears!

***

In those days the people wore sandals and their feet would get very dirty on the dusty roads, so the lowliest servant would normally wash the feet of those sitting down for a meal. But this time Jesus got up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and began washing the disciple’s feet.

***

Why would Jesus wash their feet? Shouldn’t somebody be washing His feet?

***

That’s what Peter thought and he said to Jesus, “You shall never wash my feet.”

***

That means there’s extra water left in that foot washing bowl. I bet dirty foot water tastes good.

I am listening.

***

Jesus told Peter that unless He washed him, he would have no part with Jesus.

And when Jesus had finished washing the disciple’s feet He told them to do for each other what He had done for them.

***

I’ll lick the disciple’s feet any time. I bet those feet smell really good.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

While they were eating, Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray Him. The disciples didn’t know what He meant and one by one they said, “Surely not I?”

Jesus said, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread to when I have dipped it in the dish.” He dipped the bread and gave it to Judas Iscariot.

As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

Jesus told Judas, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”

Judas left, but the rest of the disciples had no idea what he was doing.

***

I can’t figure Judas out. Why would he leave before they were done eating?

He was going to what? Betray Jesus? But couldn’t he have done that after dinner?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

While they were eating Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.

And after supper He took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to the disciples, and said, “This is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

***

You aren’t stopping now, are you person? I want to hear the rest of the story.

What do you mean I’d fall asleep if you talked too long?

No I wouldn’t. I’m just waiting for Jesus and the disciples to leave. I want to see if they left any food behind.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Follow the Fish

200px-V&A_-_Raphael,_The_Miraculous_Draught_of_Fishes_(1515)

Hey person, is it true that Jesus went up to people and said “Follow me,” and they followed him? He must have had some pretty good treats with him or something.

What do you mean they left their fish to follow Jesus? How could you leave a good meal to follow anyone?

I’ll try to listen. I’m still thinking about all those fish.

Some of the disciples had been introduced to Jesus when they were hanging out in the wilderness with John the Baptist. John told the disciples that Jesus was the Lamb of God.

They talked with Jesus, but later went back to their homes in Galilee and were busy fishing when Jesus showed up.

Jesus saw Simon, called Peter, and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake. And he said to them, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Fishers of men? If those men rubbed fish oil all over themselves I’d go fish for them. And I’d give them lots of big, slobbery kisses.

I’m listening.

Then Jesus walked a little further and he saw James and John in a boat preparing their nets with their father Zebedee. Jesus called James and John and they left their father with the boat and followed Jesus.

I bet they were just tired of working for their dad and wanted to have a good time.

What do you mean they didn’t always have a good time? All those miracles Jesus did? He even turned a little bit of food into enough to feed thousands of people. I bet those disciples always had all they wanted to eat. And good stuff too. Like fish.

Jesus said what?

Anyone who follows Him must deny himself and take up his cross daily?

What does that mean? Does that mean no treats or extra fish?

Oh. It means I have to go where Jesus wants me to go? I guess that’s not so bad. He hung out a lot with fishermen and sometimes he even helped them catch lots of fish – so I guess if I follow Jesus I’m following the fish.

 

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Jump the Fence

The Liberation of St Peter. Museo Nazionale di...

The Liberation of St Peter. Museo Nazionale di Capodimonte, Naples. Regarded as Battistello’s masterpiece, it vividly captures the emotion of the scene as Peter is led from prison by an angel. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t get it person. Do you mean to tell me that Peter, that guy who tried to walk to Jesus on the water, and told Jesus he loved him, got arrested and put in prison? Why would anyone put Peter in prison? Who did it? I want to give them what for.

That mean old King Herod did it? I’m for sure going to give him what for. He’s really nasty. Didn’t he want to kill Jesus when he was a baby?

What? Now I’m totally confused. That wasn’t the same King Herod? That other King Herod was this King Herod’s grandfather? So grandson Herod was a meanie like his grandfather and put Peter in prison.

Is being in prison kind of like being locked in a tiny fenced yard with no way to jump the fence?

What? It was worse? Peter was chained between two soldiers and there were guards making sure he didn’t jump the fence?

What’s the good part? That sounds pretty bad to me.

The church offered constant prayer to God for Peter? What good will that do? Will prayer help Peter jump the fence? He’d have to drag those two guards with him. I can’t even drag you over the fence when you grab hold of me.

Well, my person says that prayer did do some good because when Peter was sleeping an angel of the Lord stood by him and a light shone in the prison. The angel woke Peter up and told him to get up quickly. And you know what? Those chains fell off Peter’s hands.

Then that angel told Peter to get dressed and follow him. Peter thought he was seeing a vision and that the angel wasn’t real, but he followed him anyway. They went past two guard posts and came to the iron gate that leads to the city. And that gate opened all by itself. I wish the gate in my yard would open by itself.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

They went down a street and the angel left. Peter finally realized that everything that had happened was real and he was free.

Hey person, if it was those prayers from the church that sent the angel to free Peter, do you think you could pray that an angel would come let me out so I can run free. I’ll come back when I’m tired. I promise.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on April 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

 

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A Net Full of Fish

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of...

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Walk or Swim?

Jesus Walking on WaterWhat!? No animals and no food in this story? I don’t want to listen then. I’m outta here.

Water? Did you say water? A big lake? One that I can go swimming in? I like swimming. Okay, I’ll listen. But this better be good.

This one happened right after last week’s story huh? Right after Jesus fed all those people. I’m getting hungry now. You’re making me hungry thinking about those fish.

Okay, I’m listening.

My person says that after Jesus fed all those people he sent his disciples off in a boat to go to the other side of the lake they were at. Is this lake bigger than my swimming hole?

What? They’d gone three or three and a half miles and they were in the middle of the lake? I think that’s bigger person. Is that bigger?

Okay, I’m really listening this time.

My person said Jesus had gone up on a mountainside to be by himself and pray, and then in the early hours of the morning – somewhere between 3:00 and 6:00 AM – he decided to go meet up with the disciples.

Did the disciples leave Jesus a boat?

They didn’t? He’s going to swim all that way? I could swim with him. That would be fun. Do you think he’d throw some sticks for me to fetch?

No way! How’s he going to do that? Walk on the water!? And it was windy with lots of waves? I’ve got to see this.

My person says Jesus walked all that way on the water and when he got to the boat the disciples thought he was a ghost and they were scared. I’m not afraid of ghosts. After all, I’ve made friends with Ghost Dog.

Well, Jesus told the disciples not to be afraid – that it was him and not a ghost. Once the disciple Peter realized it was Jesus he wanted to go out walking on the water too, so Jesus told him to come on out.

I’d like to go out in that water too.

So Peter got out of the boat and I followed him. I just wanted to swim but Peter started walking on the water. Wow! I didn’t know Peter could do that.

I guess Peter didn’t know he could do that either, because when he saw how windy it was he got scared and started sinking. Peter cried out for Jesus to save him. Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter and told him he didn’t have enough faith.

Jesus and Peter climbed into the boat, but they had to reach down and pull me in. I didn’t know it was so hard to get into a boat from the water. Okay person, I know I wasn’t really there, but it’s fun to pretend.

After Peter and Jesus got into the boat – and pulled me in – the wind died down. The disciples in the boat worshipped Jesus and said that truly he was the Son of God.

Now that there’s no wind, can we go back in the water again? Maybe James and John would like to come with us too. And how about Ghost Dog? I bet he’d like to go swimming.

 

 Image courtesy karenswhimsy

 
24 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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