Category Archives: humor

I’ve been praying all week for fish and treats and I still haven’t gotten any.

Well, maybe one or two treats.

But I want constant treats all day – you know, like falling out of the sky or something.

Or maybe dropping from the kitchen ceiling.

That would be even better.

Are there any treats in this story?

Not even fish?

There’s an angel?

Okay, I guess I’ll listen.

***

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road – the desert road – that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.

***

I guess if you’re on a desert road there’s one thing better than treats.

Water.

***

So Philip started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians.

***

I bet that Ethiopian had plenty of treats.

I think I’ll follow him for awhile.

I am too listening.

***

This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

***

I guess the Spirit wanted Philip to get some treats.

I’m right behind you Philip!

***

Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.

“How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

***

If that was written in dog language I could explain it to him.

Woof!

I truly am listening.

***

The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,

and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.

Who can speak of his descendants”

For his life was taken from the earth.”

***

That’s a really sad story.

***

The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.

***

Oh yeah, that one’s a sad story with a happy ending.

***

As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him.

***

How come I don’t get to be baptized.

It’s kind of like swimming and that sounds like fun.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing.

***

Woah! I wonder what that eunuch was thinking about Philip now.

I would have been freaked if he disappeared on me.

***

Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.

***

Wouldn’t that be cool to pop in and out like that?

I could pop in to the treat store, and where there were piles of fish.

And even to a swimming hole when I felt like swimming.

I wonder how many treats I would have to pay to be able to do that.

What about last week’s story?

Oh yeah, you can’t buy the Holy Spirit.

Okay, I’m praying.

I’m praying.