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He’s Coming!

the Conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus as painted by Michelangelo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My person says that around the time that Jesus was crucified there was a person living in Jerusalem named Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and he believed that the people who followed Jesus were going against God.

Hey person, what’s a Pharisee? Is that something like a fairy with good eye sight?

A Pharisee was a what? A religious leader? Wasn’t Jesus a religious leader? How come Saul thought Jesus’ followers were going against God?

Most of the Pharisees didn’t think Jesus was the messiah? Then they didn’t have very good eye sight at all. Maybe they should change their name to the Phariblinds.

Okay person, I’m listening.

My person said that Saul stood by and approved the stoning of Stephen, one of Jesus’ disciples, and then he wanted to go after all of Jesus’ followers in Damascus.

I hope somebody warns those disciples that Saul is coming.

They what? They were warned, but they didn’t need to be? I don’t get it.

Jesus took care of everything? He did? Did he send dogs on ahead to bark a warning?

Okay, I’m listening. Really.

When Saul was on the road to Damascus a light from heaven flashed around him and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Saul asked who it was and Jesus said it was him. Then Jesus told Saul to get up and go into the city and he would be told what he must do.

Saul got up and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t see anything. See, I told you he was a Phariblind.

The men with him had to lead him by hand into Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.

Then the Lord came to a disciple named Ananias in a vision and told him to go where Saul was staying and restore his sight. Ananias knew who Saul was and why he had come to Damascus, so he protested.

I guess that dog must have barked his warning to Ananias.

I am listening, person.

The Lord told Ananias that Saul was his chosen instrument so Ananias went and restored his sight, and something like scales fell off Saul’s eyes.

Does that mean Saul wasn’t a Phariblind anymore?

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs, humor

Tags: Ananias, Bible, Christianity, Damascus, faith, Jerusalem, Jesus, Pets, Pharisee, Saul

A Net Full of Fish

15 Apr

The Miraculous Draught of Fishes, 1515, one of the seven remaining Raphael Cartoons for tapestries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of Jesus’ disciples went fishing after he was resurrected? Why didn’t they take me? I like fish.

Oh, they didn’t? They fished all night and didn’t catch anything? I guess I’m glad I wasn’t with them after all. Were they sleeping in the boat?

I’m listening, person. I didn’t fall asleep. Really. I just think those disciples must have fallen asleep. They must have been really hungry when they woke up. They didn’t have any fish to eat. What did they do?

They what? They saw a man on the shore and he asked them if they didn’t have any fish? I bet he saw them sleeping in the boat.

Okay person, I’ll listen.

When the disciples told the man they didn’t have any he told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They did and they got so many fish they couldn’t haul in the net. I don’t get it, person. Do fish only swim on the right side of the boat? I’ll have to remember that if I ever get to go fishing.

Oh, I forgot. Okay, I’m listening now. One of the disciples, John, recognized Jesus then and Peter got so excited he jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I’d be jumping out with Peter. That sounds like fun.

Jesus had breakfast ready for those hungry fishermen. He’d cooked some fish and had some bread. I hope they saved some for me.

Oh yeah, they had all those fish in the net. They counted them and there were 153. Wow, that’s a lot of fish. I wonder if they’d notice if one was missing.

Okay person, I promise I won’t steal any fish. But I think they have more than they need.

After the disciples finished breakfast Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter said yes Jesus told him to take care of his sheep and then he told him to feed his sheep.

I wonder what Peter is going to feed those sheep with. I don’t think they eat fish.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Boat, Christianity, dogs, faith, Fish, Jesus, John, Peter, Pets, Sea of Galilee

Listen to the Story

08 Apr

My person said I have to stay really quiet and listen because the Easter story is very important. I’ll try, person.

My person says that Jesus was crucified on the cross. That must have hurt.

Yes, I’m listening, person. I still don’t get why he was crucified though.

So God can’t look on sin and we all have it? Even me? Not me.

Well yeah, I do that but… I do that too, but it’s not my fault.

Jesus is the only one qualified to take all our sins upon himself and he had to die on the cross to do it? So God can look at us because Jesus took our sin for us? It’s a free gift from him?

We have to do what? Ask for that free gift? That’s all? That sounds really simple.

So what does that have to do with Easter?

Jesus didn’t stay dead? How could that happen?

My person says that after Jesus died he was buried in a tomb and a very large stone was rolled in front of it. On Sunday morning Mary Magdalene and some other women went to the tomb. They didn’t know how they would move the stone, but when they got there they found it had already been rolled away.

Mary ran to Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, and told them someone had taken Jesus and they didn’t know where he was.

Peter and John ran to the tomb and found nothing inside but the linen and burial cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus. They didn’t understand what was happening and they went home.

Mary Magdalene stayed there and stood outside the tomb crying. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels sitting where Jesus had been.

Person, you didn’t tell me there were angels in the story.

I’m really listening, person.

The angels asked Mary why she was crying and she said they had taken her Lord away and she didn’t know where they had put him.

Mary turned around and saw a man standing there. She thought it was the gardener.

A gardener? Does he grow good stuff to eat?

I’m sorry person. I couldn’t help myself. You made me think about food.

Okay. The man asked Mary why she was crying and who she was looking for.

Mary said to the man that if he had carried Jesus away could he please tell her where he had put him and she would go get him.

The man then said one word to her. “Mary.” She immediately recognized that it was Jesus.

But person, you just told me Jesus died on the cross. How could that be him?

He did? God raised him from the dead? And Mary was the first one to see him?

Do you think I could see him too?

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 8, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, Easter, faith, God, Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Pets, Tomb

Why Did They Want to Kill Him?

25 Mar

What are you telling me, person? You mean that little baby you told me about last Christmas – the one who was born where all the animals were – grew up to be a man and then people wanted to kill him? Why would they want to do that?

Yeah, Jesus. That’s who I’m talking about. Why would they want to kill him?

He did? He performed miracles and healed lots of people? Is that why they wanted to kill him? I don’t get it.

Did Jesus heal animals too?

He taught people about God and the Kingdom of Heaven? Didn’t they like God? Is that why they wanted to kill him?

He told people to do things like love their enemies? Okay, now I get it. They must have thought he was nuts. He tried to take away the fun of giving someone what for.

What, that wasn’t it either? Then what?

People followed him instead of the religious leaders? And Jesus told the religious leaders they were hypocrites that were leading people away from God? Oh, now I get it. I think.

So the religious leader got jealous of Jesus? And mad at him?

He did? He told people he is the Son of God? Why would he say that if he knew it would upset people? He could have just kept quiet and no one would have bothered him.

But person, that doesn’t make sense at all. You mean he came and was born so he could die on a cross? I don’t get it. Couldn’t he have asked God to rescue him?

He could? Then why didn’t he? Did he at least give all those religious leaders what for?

No way! He asked God to forgive them? I really don’t get it now.

He died on that cross because he loves us? I love you person, but I don’t want to die on a cross.

He had to take all the sins on himself so everybody could be with God? Didn’t God like Jesus?

He loves people too, so He was willing to sacrifice His only Son for all the people? And he saved the lives of animals too because they didn’t have to be sacrificed anymore? That’s cool. That means He loves animals too.

But I still don’t get it.

I have to hear the rest of the story and that happens on Easter?

Oh, Easter. That’s the day I get to steal the candy out of the plastic eggs.

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, Easter, faith, God, Jesus, Pets, Son of God

A Sling and a Stone

12 Feb

Another story about David? And this one’s a really big adventure? What I want to know is what happened to David’s sheep – and his sheep dogs?

He did? My person says that when David went to play the harp for King Saul he missed his sheep so he would go home to be with them sometimes. Well, one time when David was hanging out with his sheep Saul and the Israelite army ended up having a big standoff with the Philistine army.

I asked my person why the Israelites didn’t get their air force to come help them and she said that wasn’t possible. I’m not sure why.

My person said that David’s three oldest brothers had followed King Saul to the war. Jesse, David’s father, told David to take some food to his brothers and find out how they were doing.

David had to leave his sheep and his sheep dogs again, but he obeyed his father and went to see his brothers. When he got there he saw a Philistine named Goliath who was challenging the Israelites to send one man to fight with him. Goliath was a giant – over nine feet tall – and the Israelites were afraid of him.

King Saul learned that David was asking about Goliath and sent for him. David told King Saul that he would fight Goliath and King Saul told David he was just a boy and didn’t stand a chance.

David said he had killed both a bear and a lion while defending his sheep – Wow, David. You rock! – yeah, I’m listening person. David said the Lord who had protected him from the lion and the bear would also protect him against Goliath.

King Saul gave David his armor to wear in the fight, but David said it would just get in the way because he wasn’t used to it. He chose five smooth stones from the stream and his sling instead. Are you sure David? You don’t want to turn your sheep and sheep dogs into orphans.

When Goliath saw David approaching he was insulted that the Israelites would send a boy to fight him. He cursed David and told him he was a goner.

David told Goliath he had come against him in the name of the Lord Almighty and the Lord was much stronger than Goliath’s sword, and spear, and javelin.

David reached into his bag, took out a stone, and slung it at Goliath. The stone struck Goliath in the forehead and sank in. Goliath fell face down on the ground and the Philistine army ran.

Hey person, I’m going to go out and collect some stones. No, I won’t hurt anybody with them. I’m collecting them for David’s sheep dogs. They’ve got lions and bears around and David isn’t there.

42 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 12, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, David, dogs, faith, Goliath, King Saul, Pets, Sheep

Harp Service

05 Feb

Hey person, whatever happened to that guy who hung out with the sheep? The one with the sheep dogs that was anointed king.

Yeah, that’s him – David. So what happened to him?

Yeah, I want another Bible story. But only if it’s about that cool guy who likes sheep and dogs.

He what, person? He went into the king’s service? But wasn’t he the king now?

Oh, I get it. I think. He was anointed king, but he didn’t get to be the king. Was he just playing a game, like cops and robbers or something?

My person says Saul was still the king but the Spirit of the Lord had left him and an evil spirit started tormenting him. Saul’s servants thought that if he found someone to play the harp for him it would make him feel better.

You know what? That David guy not only hangs out with sheep, it turns out he plays the harp too, and one of King Saul’s servants knew about David.

I hope that servant didn’t tell King Saul that David was supposed to be the king.

My person says it would still be a long time before David got to be king, but in the meantime he had to leave his sheep and sheep dogs and go play his harp for King Saul.

He did? You mean he still got to take some animals with him?

David got to take a donkey loaded with bread – at least that donkey didn’t get hungry – and a skin of wine. Oh no, you’d better watch it donkey. You could get in trouble with that wine.

David also took a young goat with him. I hope that goat is as nice as the sheep.

Whenever that evil spirit tormented King Saul, David would play his harp for him and King Saul would feel better.

I wonder if David sang any songs about dogs.

Hanging with Sheep (bongodogblog.wordpress.com)

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 5, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, David, dogs, faith, King Saul, Pets

Where’s the Food?

22 Jan

Can I tell them? Can I tell them now? Okay, I’ll tell them the story first. But I’m really excited.

What! No animals in this story? There’s something else I like in the story? It better be good because if there are no animals I’m not sure if I want to listen.

Food? There’s food in this story? Okay, I’m listening person. I like food. I like it a lot.

My person said that after Jesus had grown up he became pretty famous in the area where he lived. He’d performed so many miracles and healed so many people that he could hardly go anywhere without bunches of people following him.

What kind of miracles did Jesus do person? I want a miracle. Okay, I’ll listen if you promise to tell me about a miracle – and food.

My person said one day Jesus tried to go to a deserted place alone with his disciples but people heard about it and lots of them followed him. Jesus had compassion (what does that word mean?) for the people and began teaching them and healing their sick.

Well, it got to be late in the day and Jesus’ disciples started getting hungry, so they figured all the people there were getting hungry too. I bet even their dogs were getting hungry. So anyway, the disciples went to Jesus and told him to send the people away to the villages so they could get something to eat.

You know what Jesus told his disciples to do? He told them to feed all those people themselves.

There were about five thousand men plus all the women and children there – and their dogs. Those disciples just looked at Jesus like he was crazy and said it would take about eight months’ wages to feed all those people – and dogs.

One of the disciples said there was a boy there with five barley loaves and two fish but that wasn’t nearly enough food to go around for all the people.

It might not feed all those people but it would be good enough for me. Mmm fish.

Okay person, I’ll be quiet and listen.

Jesus told the disciples to bring him the food and then he told all the people to sit down. He took the five loaves and two fish, blessed and broke the bread and gave it to the disciples to give to the people. All those people ate and got full and when they were finished the disciples collected twelve baskets of leftover food.

Jesus is pretty awesome. I think that leftover food is just about the right amount for me.

And if it’s not enough you can hop on over to Love of My Dogs where you can get great dog treat recipes and see my interview. This is so exciting!

27 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 22, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, Jesus, Miracle, Pets, Religion and Spirituality

Escape to Egypt

15 Jan

“…out of Egypt I called my son.” Hosea 11:1

Hey person, whose son is in Egypt? Are there animals in this story?

They worshipped what in Egypt? No way! They worshipped cats!? It’s a good thing that son was called out of Egypt. Who was that son anyway?

He was? How did he get there? I thought he was in…?

Okay person, I’ll let you tell the story.

My person says Jesus had his first big adventure when he was still very little. I like adventures. I’m listening person.

Okay, I’m quiet now.

My person says that after those Magi she talked about in the last Bible story gave Jesus his gifts, you know, that gold, frankincense, myrrh, and those chew toys, they were warned in a dream not to go back to that sneaky King Herod, so they went home another way.

After the Magi left, an angel came to Joseph in a dream and told him to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt because King Herod was going to look for Jesus to kill him. Sure enough when that sneaky evil King Herod realized he’d been outwitted by the Magi he got really mad and wanted to find and kill Jesus. But Jesus had already left for Egypt.

It wasn’t too long before sneaky evil King Herod died and an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream again, and told him they could go back to Israel. I hope they didn’t bring any of those cats back with them.

When they got back to Israel, without any cats, they found out that King Herod’s evil son Archelaus was ruling in Judea – the area they had been in before they went to Egypt – and they decided to go to a town called Nazareth in the district of Galilee instead. My person says that Nazareth is where Jesus grew up.

That was a pretty exciting adventure for a little kid – running away from an evil king, all the way from Israel to Egypt. I’m sure glad it ended okay. But person, I think there’s something wrong with my ears. I keep hearing this meowing sound.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 15, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, Egypt, faith, Israel, Jesus, Nazareth, Pets

In the Temple

01 Jan

“Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’” Luke 2:34-35

Okay person, I’m confused. What are these words you put on my blog talking about? Is this about the baby who started out life in a manger? After all, his mother’s name was Mary. These words don’t sound good.

Now I’m really confused. My person said this is the same child, but these words by Simeon will have to wait until later stories. She said that when the baby was eight days old they circumcised him – they what? – my person says “never mind” – and at that time they gave him the name Jesus like the angel had told them to.

My person says they met Simeon when they took Jesus to the temple to consecrate him. Hey person, I haven’t heard about any animals in this story yet. Oh yeah? They what? She says there were animals at the temple that they used for sacrifices. I didn’t know what a sacrifice was so I asked my person and she told me I didn’t want to know. Well whatever it is, I hope they treat those animals nice.

Simeon had the Holy Spirit upon him and was told he would not die before he’d seen the Lord’s Christ. When he saw Jesus in the temple courts he knew he had seen God’s salvation. There was also an old lady named Anna who was a prophetess and she knew who Jesus was too.

Mary must have been pretty upset when Simeon told her about that sword. Maybe she should let Jesus have a pet dog. That dog would protect them.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, dogs

Tags: Anna, Christ, Christianity, faith, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mary, Pets, Simeon

To Bethlehem

18 Dec

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from old, from ancient times.” Micah 5:2

My person promised. She said today’s Bible story will have animals in it – so I’m waiting. She’d better be right or I’m going to erase those words she put on my blog that I didn’t write.

My person says that Joseph eventually got married to Mary – that sounds funny, married to Mary. Okay person. I’ll try to listen, but I’m still waiting for those animals.

Caesar Augustus – he was the head guy of the Roman Empire that ruled over Israel at the time – decided he wanted to have a census. A what? Everyone had to go to his own town to register. My person said that since Joseph was from the line of David – hey I remember David. He started out as a shepherd boy and had lots of animals around him – Joseph had to go to David’s hometown of Bethlehem, and he took Mary with him.

Bethlehem was about eighty miles from Nazareth where Joseph and Mary lived. Mary was about to have a baby so it would have been hard for her to walk that far. My person says she probably rode a donkey.

A donkey! Finally, there’s an animal in the story.

Okay person, I’m listening now. When Joseph and Mary – and the donkey – finally made it to Bethlehem there was no room for them at the inn.

Mary was about to have her baby so she needed someplace to stay. You know what my person said they did? They went and hung out where the animals lived. Mary had her baby and she laid him in a manger. My person said a manger is the thing that the animals eat from.

I hope those animals don’t try to eat that baby by mistake.

34 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 18, 2011 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Bible, Cats and Dogs, Christianity, faith, Joseph, Mary, Nazareth, Pets