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Calm the Storm

Jesus calming the stormOne day when Jesus was waiting for all the seeds to grow into good food…

I know that’s not how the story goes, but don’t you agree it’s better if there’s food in the story?

Okay, I’ll listen to the right story.

***

One day when Jesus had a crowd around Him He said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.”

So they got into a boat and set out.

***

I hope they brought their fishing nets.

I am listening.

***

While they were sailing, Jesus fell asleep.

Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake and the waves swept over the boat.

***

Hold on to those fishing nets, disciples!

***

The disciples woke Jesus up and said to Him, “Don’t you care if we drown?”

Jesus got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”

The wind died down and it was completely calm.

***

Time for fishing now.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?

The disciples were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and waves obey Him!”

***

The fish obey Jesus too. Maybe he could have a few jump into the boat.

Hey guys, wait for me! I don’t want to miss any of those fish!

 
17 Comments

Posted by on May 19, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Bird Seed

Soil

Soil (Photo credit: arimoore)

Jesus told a story about bird seed?

He did too. He was by the lake and so many people came that he got in a boat and told them stories while they stood on the shore.

You know, those stories with two bulls in them – those pair a bulls.

But this story wasn’t about bulls, it was about bird seed.

***

A farmer went out to sow his seed. Some of the seed fell along the path and the birds came and ate it up.

***

See, I told you it was a story about bird seed.

What do you mean, there’s more to the story?

***

Some of the farmer’s seed fell in rocky places without much soil. It grew quickly, but when the sun came out the plants withered because they had no root.

***

I don’t get it. I understand bird seed – but rock seed?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Some of the seed fell among thorns which grew up and choked the plants.

***

Maybe the birds could eat the thorn seeds.

I am listening.

***

Some of the seed fell on good soil and produced a crop – a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown.

***

I sure hope that crop was of something I like to eat.

There’s more to the story? I’ve still got to listen?

But I was getting ready to eat.

***

Jesus disciples asked him what the parable meant and He told them.

Jesus said that the seed is the word of God. Those on the path hear the word, but then the devil takes the word from their hearts so they won’t believe and be saved.

***

You mean those birds are the devil? I thought I saw a few birds looking at me with the evil eye.

***

Those on the rock receive the word with joy, but since they have no root they fall away when things get hard.

***

It’s really rocky where I live. I wonder if that takes everybody’s joy away. It takes mine away when a little rock gets stuck in my paw.

I am too listening.

***

The thorns are those who hear but worries, and money, and stuff become more important to them.

***

Does that include food?

***

The seed on the good soil stands for those who hear the word, understand it, stick with it, and produce a crop.

***

Oh, I get it now. When the word falls on good soil, that means more food.

Come on everybody, get away from that path, and those rocks, and the thorns. You’ve got to hang out on the good soil.

Get moving. I’m waiting for the food.

 
25 Comments

Posted by on May 12, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Dinner at Last

Deutsch: Christus im Hause des Pharisäers, Jac...

Deutsch: Christus im Hause des Pharisäers, Jacopo Tintoretto, Escorial (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Finally! Jesus is going to dinner. I think I’ll tag along and pretend I’m his dog. They’ll have to let me in.

What do you mean they might not let dogs come? They let that lady come and she wasn’t even invited.

Yes, I’ll listen to the story.

***

A Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to dinner.

***

I wonder if they’re having fish for dinner.

I’m listening – I’m listening.

***

A woman who’d lived a sinful life found out Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. She showed up with an alabaster jar of perfume.

***

I hope they invited her in and gave her some fish.

I am too listening.

***

The woman stood at Jesus’ feet weeping. She began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and poured perfume on them.

Simon the Pharisee thought to himself that if Jesus was really a prophet He would know that this woman who touched Him was a sinner.

***

I wouldn’t care who that woman was if I got loves. Maybe not on the feet though.

Can I get loves while I listen?

***

Jesus knew what Simon was thinking and He told Simon a story.

“Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both.”

Then Jesus asked Simon which of the two would love the moneylender more.

Simon replied that he thought it would be the one with the bigger debt canceled and Jesus told him he was right.

***

This is where Jesus gives Simon what for, isn’t it?

I am listening. I’m just trying to help you along.

***

Jesus told Simon that when He came into his house Simon hadn’t given him any water to wash His feet, but the woman had washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. Simon had not given Jesus a kiss, but the woman had not stopped kissing His feet. Simon had not put oil on Jesus’ head, but the woman poured perfume on His feet.

Jesus told the woman her many sins were forgiven because she had loved much. And He said that he who has been forgiven little loves little.

The other dinner guests began mumbling among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

***

Would Jesus forgive my sins? I’ll kiss His feet.

Oh wait, I forgot. I’m the perfect dog. I don’t have any sins to forgive.

***

Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

***

I think that woman should have kept hanging out. She probably would have gotten some fish. Oh well, that’s okay. All the more for me.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on May 5, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Say the Word

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centur...

English: Jesus healing the servant of a Centurion by Paolo Veronese Source: http://www.artst.org/mannerism/veronese/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Jesus having another fish dinner yet?

What do you mean, I’m out of luck? I know Jesus can have fish dinner whenever He wants.

Oh, He healed somebody else? But it was different than before?

I guess I’ll listen. I like miracles.

***

There was a Roman centurion in Capernaum who was highly thought of by the Jews. He loved the nation of Israel and had built a synagogue for them.

***

Did he give treats to the dogs?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

This centurion had a servant whom he valued highly who was sick and about to die. When he heard of Jesus he sent some of the elders of the Jews to Him, asking Him if he would heal the servant. The Jews told Jesus that the man deserved to have Him do this.

Jesus went with the men, but when he was near the house the centurion sent some friends to tell Jesus that he didn’t deserve to have him come under his roof, and that he hadn’t come himself because he didn’t feel worthy to come to Jesus.

***

Jesus could come to my house then.

As long as he brings fish, that is.

I am listening.

***

The centurion told Jesus to say the word, and his servant would be healed.

***

What if Jesus said the word and fish appeared?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus was amazed at this centurion and He turned to the crowd following Him and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

The men the centurion had sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

***

Good. Jesus is finished healing. I bet he’s hungry now. I think I’ll go hang around and see if I can get an invite to dinner.

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Still Looking for the Fish

Jesus healing at the Pool of Bethesda

Another feast!? Jesus is going to a feast?

I hope I get invited. There’s good food at those feasts.

What do you mean, this story isn’t about the feast? What else could be better than a feast?

Oh. Another miracle, huh? You mean like when Jesus fed all those people?

What do you mean, those weren’t the only miracles Jesus did?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

When Jesus was in Jerusalem for a feast he stopped by a pool called Bethesda. A great number of disabled people hung out there. An angel went down at a certain time and stirred up the water and whoever stepped in first after that was healed.

***

That sounds like a good place to go swimming.

What do you mean dogs probably weren’t allowed in that pool?

I am listening.

***

One of the people at the pool had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus saw him lying there and learned he’d been in that condition for a long time and he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid told Jesus that he had no one to help him into the pool, so when the water was stirred someone always beat him into it.

Jesus said to the man, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

The man was immediately made well and he picked up his mat and walked.

***

I bet that man was so happy he ran out and got some fish. And he had so much he shared it with me.

I am not totally focused on fish. Any kind of food will do.

I am listening, but I just had to throw in that fish part.

***

The Jews saw the healed man carrying his mat and they gave him what for because it was the Sabbath and it was against the law to carry a mat on the Sabbath.

But it was one of the laws that people had added to God’s laws.

***

So if people make a law we shouldn’t have to follow it? Like I shouldn’t have to be on a leash?

What do you mean that’s not the same?

***

Jesus was making a point because so many things had been added to the Sabbath that it was impossible to follow them.

But because Jesus was healing on the Sabbath the Jews persecuted him.

***

Does that mean Jesus can’t feed everybody on the Sabbath? I’d better hang out with him on the other days of the week.

 

 
21 Comments

Posted by on April 21, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Follow Me

Jesus calling MatthewHey person, did Jesus ever get that hole in the roof fixed after he healed that guy who couldn’t walk?

What? The Bible doesn’t say anything about it? How am I supposed to sleep at night if I’m worried if there’s still a hole in the roof or not?

Jesus did what?

He signed up another disciple? Didn’t he have enough already?

Did this new disciple catch a lot of fish too?

I’ll listen if there’s fish.

There’s food in the story? Okay, I’ll listen.

***

In Jesus’ day the Israelites hated the Roman government that ruled over them because the Roman’s were very oppressive. They also hated the tax collectors because they were collecting taxes for the Roman government. These tax collectors were Jews who not only worked for the Roman government, but usually collected more tax than required and kept the extra for themselves.

***

What does that have to do with food?

The food is coming?

I’ll listen then.

***

Jesus saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth and he said to him, “Follow me.”

***

Why would Jesus want someone nobody liked on his team? Wouldn’t that put him at a disadvantage?

***

The food’s almost here?

I’ll listen then.

***

Matthew got up and followed Jesus and then invited Jesus to dinner at his house.

***

Do you think Matthew would invite me too?

I’ll listen, but do you mind if I drool while I’m listening?

I can’t help it if I drool, but if you give me a treat I might stop.

***

Matthew also invited a bunch of tax collectors and “sinners” to have dinner with them. Some of the religious people called Pharisees saw this and asked Jesus’ disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”

***

I’d eat with them too as long as they shared their food – and gave me loves.

I am listening.

***

Jesus heard the Pharisee’s question and said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

***

Does that mean that Jesus still loves me even when I’m getting into mischief?

Woo woo! Jesus loves me! I hope he’ll bring me some fish.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on April 14, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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A Hole in the Roof

Jesus healing the paralyticYou’re what, person? Now that you told me about Jesus being raised from the dead that’s the end of the story, isn’t it?

It isn’t?

But you’re not going to tell it to me now? You mean I don’t get a Bible story this week?

You’re going to what? Tell me about more of Jesus’ miracles from before he died and rose again?

I like miracles.

***

Jesus had been traveling around Galilee and when he returned to his home in Capernaum so many people came that his whole house was full and even outside the door there was no room left.

Jesus preached to all those people.

***

Did he preach about how they could get more fish?

I was just asking.

***

While Jesus was preaching, four men came carrying a paralytic on a mat.

***

A what?

You mean he can’t move? Poor guy. At least that leper that Jesus healed could leap.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The house was so crowded that the men couldn’t get the paralyzed man anywhere near Jesus. So they got up on the roof and made an opening in the roof above Jesus.

After digging through, they lowered the man on his mat into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

***

Wasn’t Jesus mad about the hole in the roof? What if it rained?

I’m listening.

***

Jesus saw the faith of the four men and said to the paralytic, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

***

If I jump through a hole in the roof and land at Jesus’ feet will he forgive my sins? Oh, I forgot. I don’t do anything wrong. It’s always Scratchy.

I am listening.

***

There were some teachers of the law in the crowd who were pretty upset when Jesus forgave the man’s sins because only God can forgive sins. But Jesus knew what they were thinking so He said to them, “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’?”

Then Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.”

The man stood up, took his mat, and went home praising God.

***

Jesus told those teachers of the law a thing or two, didn’t he?

But there’s still one thing I want to know.

Who’s going to fix that hole in the roof?

 
14 Comments

Posted by on April 7, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Empty Tomb

Paper mache empty tombThat is not the same tomb that I ate a few days ago. That one was made of squishy newspaper and chicken wire.

I would never eat a rock. Who do you think I am, anyway?

This is supposed to be the tomb they buried Jesus in? Why would they bury him in a rock?

Yeah, I guess it would be hard to steal him out of a big, rock tomb when a humongous rock covered the entrance.

But who would want to? Why would anyone want to steal a body?

Jesus what? He told people he would be killed and after three days he would rise again?

So the elders, chief priests and scribes wanted to seal Jesus in so his disciples couldn’t steal his body and say he had risen?

But what if Jesus was telling the truth? Wouldn’t He be stuck inside that big rock tomb? What would He do then?

Okay, I’ll listen to the rest of the story.

***

Jesus died on the cross on a Friday, and on Sunday Mary Magdalene and some of the other women who had followed Him went to His tomb. They found the stone rolled back from the door of the tomb.

***

So Jesus snuck out right through the front door.

I am listening.

***

Mary Magdalene ran to tell Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, that they didn’t know where Jesus’ body had been taken. Peter and John ran to the tomb and only found the linen cloths that Jesus had been buried in. So they left and went back to their homes.

***

Does that mean Jesus had to go and knock on their doors?

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

When Peter and John left, Mary stayed behind weeping. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels in there. The angels asked her why she was weeping and Mary said, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.

After she said this, Mary turned around and saw Jesus, but she thought He was the gardener. She said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”

Mary finally realized this was Jesus and was overjoyed.

***

Did Jesus look for a place to hide after that so he wouldn’t be killed again?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Later, when the disciples were hiding behind locked doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus appeared to them.

***

He went right through the locked door? Does that mean He could have gotten out of that tomb even if the door wasn’t rolled away?

That would make it easy for Him to hide so he wouldn’t be killed again.

***

Jesus won’t be killed again. God raised Him from the dead so that He will have everlasting life. And you can have everlasting life too if you declare Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

***

I’ve just got one question.

Can you make the next empty tomb out of bread please?

 
24 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Feet and Bread

English: The Last Supper

English: The Last Supper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is the beginning of what week?

Holy week? I haven’t been digging any holes lately.

Maybe it’s all those ant holes that I’ve seen popping up lately.

What do you mean it’s not that kind of holes? What other kind of holes are there?

Okay, I’m listening.

Today is Palm Sunday and I told the story of that last year?

I did?

Oh yeah. That’s when Jesus came riding on a donkey and everybody waved palm branches and shouted Hosanna.

But you said it’s a whole week. Did Jesus ride on a donkey all week?

I am letting you tell the story. I’m just asking questions to get you going.

***

Jesus shared the Passover meal with his disciples later in the week.

***

Food? This story is about food? I’m all ears!

***

In those days the people wore sandals and their feet would get very dirty on the dusty roads, so the lowliest servant would normally wash the feet of those sitting down for a meal. But this time Jesus got up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and began washing the disciple’s feet.

***

Why would Jesus wash their feet? Shouldn’t somebody be washing His feet?

***

That’s what Peter thought and he said to Jesus, “You shall never wash my feet.”

***

That means there’s extra water left in that foot washing bowl. I bet dirty foot water tastes good.

I am listening.

***

Jesus told Peter that unless He washed him, he would have no part with Jesus.

And when Jesus had finished washing the disciple’s feet He told them to do for each other what He had done for them.

***

I’ll lick the disciple’s feet any time. I bet those feet smell really good.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

While they were eating, Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray Him. The disciples didn’t know what He meant and one by one they said, “Surely not I?”

Jesus said, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread to when I have dipped it in the dish.” He dipped the bread and gave it to Judas Iscariot.

As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

Jesus told Judas, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”

Judas left, but the rest of the disciples had no idea what he was doing.

***

I can’t figure Judas out. Why would he leave before they were done eating?

He was going to what? Betray Jesus? But couldn’t he have done that after dinner?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

While they were eating Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.

And after supper He took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to the disciples, and said, “This is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

***

You aren’t stopping now, are you person? I want to hear the rest of the story.

What do you mean I’d fall asleep if you talked too long?

No I wouldn’t. I’m just waiting for Jesus and the disciples to leave. I want to see if they left any food behind.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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It’s St. Patrick’s Day!

Statue of St. Patrick in Aughagower, County Mayo

Statue of St. Patrick in Aughagower, County Mayo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Hey person. I don’t have anything green on. Can you get me a green bandana or something? I don’t want Scratchy to pinch me.

Hey, wait a minute. Scratchy isn’t wearing anything green either. Maybe I can go pinch him.

Scratchy, come here.

Oh. Scratchy just told me I’m supposed to be telling a Bible story. It is Bible story day, isn’t it? Why are we talking about St. Patrick’s Day?

Because St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland? He did?

So you’re going to tell me about St. Patrick today instead?

Okay, but I need my green first.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Patrick was born in England to a wealthy family. They lived during the time of the Roman Empire when the empire was Christian.

When Patrick was sixteen, raiders came over from Ireland, kidnapped Patrick, took him to Ireland and sold him into slavery. As a slave he worked as a shepherd and found himself lonely most of the time.

***

Didn’t he have any shepherd dogs to keep him company?

I am listening.

***

While he was alone with the sheep he spent his time praying and his Christian faith increased. Then, after six years he had a dream in which he heard the voice of God telling him it was time to leave Ireland. He escaped and had to walk two hundred miles to get on a ship. The crew abandoned ship in France and wandered lost for 28 days, but eventually Patrick found his way home to England.

***

I should have been there with them. I could have sniffed my way home faster than they did.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Patrick had a second vision, telling him to go back to the Irish, but first he attended religious school. When Patrick became an ordained priest he headed for Ireland as a missionary. He spent the rest of his life bringing people in Ireland to Christ. St. Patrick died on March 17th 461. That’s why we celebrate March 17, as St. Patrick’s Day.

***

Hey person. I don’t think you finished the story. What part is it where the leprechauns and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow come in?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 17, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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