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Category Archives: Dogology

Crossing the Jordan

English: Israel Enters the Promised Land, as in Joshua 3:5-17, illustration from a Bible card published between 1896 and 1913 by the Providence Lithograph Company (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, I’m trying to figure something out. Last week you told me a story about those spies who went to Jericho. And then they had to go across the Jordan River to get back to where Joshua and all the Israelites were.

So doesn’t that mean that all the Israelites are on the wrong side of the Jordan River from Jericho? How are they going to get there to give Jericho what for?

I could probably swim across that river. But those Israelites lived in the desert all their lives. I bet most of them couldn’t swim. Dogs just take to swimming naturally, but people aren’t usually that smart.

Person, I didn’t mean you. You must be smart. You tell me all these good stories. So how did they get across that river?

What? The Jordan River was in flood stage right then? Did they have to wait awhile to give Jericho what for? That must have been hard. I bet they were all anxious to go.

I’m listening person. I just don’t see how those Israelites are going to get across that river.

Joshua told the priests to take the Ark of the Covenant and go ahead of the people.

Are they going to float across the river on the ark? What if they float downstream?

Oh. The ark is sacred and they can’t float on it? That makes it even harder to get across.

God told Joshua to tell the priests with the Ark of the Covenant to stand in the river when they reach the water’s edge.

What if they get their feet wet? Isn’t that river moving awfully fast? You said it was at flood stage.

Yes, I’ll listen.

As soon as the priest’s feet touched the water’s edge the water coming from upstream stopped flowing. The water piled up in a heap a long ways away from them. The priests carrying the ark stood in the middle of the Jordan on dry ground while all the Israelites crossed.

When the people had crossed they took twelve stones from the middle of the river where the priests were standing and made an alter to remember the day that God had stopped the river for them. And as soon as the priests came out of the river with the Ark of the Covenant and set their feet on dry ground the river started flowing at flood stage again.

I sure hope nobody forgot something on the other side of that river.

13 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 6, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Ark of the Covenant, Bible, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Jericho, Jordan River, Joshua, Pets

The Scarlet Cord

30 Dec

Rahab and the Emissaries of Joshua (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Hey person, I just got here and there are words already on my blog. I wanted you to tell me a story about Joshua. You know, the guy who took over after Moses died.

Really? God said those words to Joshua when He told him to go take the Promised Land?

Do you think God would say those words to me the next time there’s thunder?

I would too listen to God.

I do too listen to you. Okay, I’m listening now.

Joshua sent two spies across the Jordan River to look over the land. He told them to especially look over Jericho. So the spies went to Jericho and stayed at the house of a prostitute named Rahab.

The king of Jericho heard that the men had come and he sent messengers to tell Rahab to bring them out.

Was that king going to give those men special honor? That’s pretty cool – a king wanted to see them.

I am listening.

Rahab hid the men and told the king’s men that they had gone. She sent the king’s men down the road looking for them.

Rahab was pretty sneaky, wasn’t she?

I’ll listen. I promise.

Rahab talked to the men she had hidden and told them that everyone in the land was afraid of their people because of the things God had done for them. She asked them to spare her life and the lives of her family.

The men agreed that if Rahab didn’t tell anyone what they were doing they would treat her kindly and faithfully. Rahab’s house was part of the city wall, so she let the men out of a window by a rope and told them to go into the hills for three days so they wouldn’t be found.

The men had climbed down on a scarlet cord, and they told Rahab that if she tied it in her window and brought her family into her house they would be spared.

Rahab agreed and sent the men on their way. They hid in the hills for three days, then forded the Jordan River and told Joshua everything that had happened to them.

So what happened next? Did Joshua and the Israelites go give those people in Jericho what for?

What? I have to wait to find out what happens next? Maybe I’ll go to Jericho and huff and puff and blow the walls down.

What do you mean I have the wrong story? I am not a big, bad wolf!

15 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 30, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Jericho, Jordan River, Joshua, Pets, Rahab

The Real Gift of Christmas

23 Dec

Christmas is almost here and I’m getting really excited. Our tree is up, the lights are on, and I’m looking for the presents. I keep hearing that Santa will bring me presents, but I think I saw my person putting some good smelling things all wrapped in brightly colored paper on top of the fridge.

I’m a pretty good jumper, but I wish I could jump just a little bit higher. All the good stuff that doesn’t go into the fridge seems to go on top of it. If I could get up there I could have a treat feast.

But there’s something else I wish I could do besides jump higher. I wish I could sneak back in time – not too far back, just a little over 2000 years. That’s not asking much, is it?

And I’d like to go to a place called Bethlehem. A little baby was born there one night. Well, I guess lots of babies were born there, but this one was special. This little baby was wrapped in cloths and laid in a manger because the inn was full and his parents had nowhere else to go except for where the animals hung out.

Since there were animals there already I’m sure no one would notice one extra dog in the place. Especially when those shepherds showed up. Everybody would figure I was one of their sheepdogs. Well maybe. I could have pretended I was a sheepdog anyway.

Even if I had to change my appearance so I could pass as a sheepdog, travel back in time, and go to a faraway place, it would be all worth it to see God making his appearance on earth as a baby.

***

Hey person, I think I knocked a ball onto the top of the fridge. Could you get it for me, and maybe knock some of those presents down while you’re at it?

What are you saying, person? The true gift of Christmas is Jesus? That baby in a manger is the gift? Never mind then. I guess Jesus isn’t hanging out on top of the fridge.

***

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 23, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Christianity, Christmas, dogs, God, Jesus, John 3:16, Manger, Pets, Religion and Spirituality

Yeshua is Born

16 Dec

Yeshua (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay person, in the last Bible story you told me you said Moses climbed a mountain and died, and Joshua took over. But you weren’t going to tell me any stories about Joshua right now because there’s someone else you want to tell me about who has the same name, but different.

Okay, I’m waiting. Who is this person with the same name – but different?

His name is what? Yeshua? That’s a strange name. I’ve never heard of a name like that before.

And Joshua had a name like it? Wait a minute. Joshua’s name is Joshua.

Person, you are really confusing. Okay, I’ll listen.

Yeshua is a shortened version of Joshua’s Hebrew name Yehoshua? Joshua was sometimes called Yeshua. How come Joshua has so many names?

Because his Hebrew name is translated to his English name when the Bible is translated into English? Okay person, what would his name be in Doglish?

I am listening.

This story is about Yeshua, who was born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph, and laid in a manger because there was no room at the inn.

Wait a minute person. You told me this story last year. But it was about Jesus. There can’t be two babies who hung out in mangers.

They were the same baby? Now I’m really confused.

Yeshua is Jesus’ Hebrew name. Then how come we don’t call him Joshua like that other guy.

Because Jesus’ name was translated into Greek first (part of the Bible was written in Greek?) and then into English, so it became Jesus instead of Joshua.

Oh dog, that’s all Greek to me. What would his name be if it was translated again into Doglish?

The name Yeshua means Salvation? I know what it would be in Doglish then.

Dinner.

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 16, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bethlehem, Bible, Christianity, Christmas, dogs, Jesus, Joshua, Pets, Yehoshua, Yeshua

Climbing the Mountain

09 Dec

Moses shown the Promised Land (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, you’ve been telling me a lot of stories about Moses. Isn’t he getting kind of old by now?

No way! Moses was one hundred twenty years old? How old is that in dog years?

You just don’t want to do the math, do you?

I’m listening.

After Moses lifted up that bronze snake that healed the people who looked at it, he led the Israelites in a few more battles against nations that had come against them.

Did he give them what for?

I am listening. But did Moses give those nations what for?

Woo woo! My person says he did give them what for. But then God told Moses what? That he would be gathered to his people? What does that mean?

Oh. God told Moses he was going to die. That wasn’t a very nice thing to say to Moses.

Okay, I’ll listen but this is getting sad.

Moses appointed Joshua son of Nun to take his place as leader and lead the people into the Promised Land.

Then God told Moses to climb to the top of Mount Nebo where he could see all of the Promised Land. He told Moses that he would die on top of the mountain and be gathered to his people.

Why didn’t Moses just not climb the mountain then?

Moses was obedient to God? I’m not always obedient to you person. You aren’t going to make me climb up a mountain are you? I’m not going.

God told Moses he couldn’t go into the Promised Land because he had not upheld God’s holiness among the Israelites at the waters of Meribah Kadesh in the desert of Zin. That was when Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it like God had told him to do.

I guess Moses didn’t want to disobey God twice, but that would be pretty scary climbing up that mountain.

After Moses saw the Promised Land from the top of the mountain he died. God buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but nobody knows where the grave is.

And Joshua took over as leader of Israel and the Israelites had some awesome adventures.

I’m sticking with Joshua and maybe get to watch some walls fall over. I heard that Jericho doesn’t have a chance.

What? Oh yeah, it’s almost Christmas. It’s hard to remember that when we have sunshine instead of snow. What does that have to do with Joshua?

You mean I have to wait to hear stories about Joshua? That’s okay. I can’t wait for my treats and toys. I’ll have lots of stories about my new presents.

What do you mean, Christmas isn’t about snow, treats, or toys? What else is there?

Now I’m totally confused. You mean Christmas is about someone who had the same name as Joshua, but it was different? I don’t get it.

Oh, in English – you mean Doglish I’m sure – the names are different but they mean the same thing. I’m still confused.

You’re going to make me wait to find out? This is almost as hard as waiting for my presents.

***

P.S. A new friend, Molly the Wally, shared one of my posts today. You can check it out by clicking here.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 9, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Christmas, faith, God, Israelite, Joshua, Moses, Mount Nebo, Pets

Lifted Up

02 Dec

The Brazen Serpent, by Benjamin West; among the overthrown, an unmistakable reference to the Laocoön (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, were those Israelites finally happy after Moses struck that rock and got water to come out?

What do you mean, they had more problems? It seems like one thing or another is always happening to them.

They wanted to go through Edom and the king wouldn’t let them? What’s with that king? Doesn’t he know who he’s dealing with? After all, those Israelites have me on their side.

Yes, I’m listening person.

So the Israelites had to go along the route to the Red Sea in order to go around Edom, and they grew impatient and started complaining again.

Weren’t they going the wrong direction? I might start complaining too.

I am listening.

The Israelites complained that there was no bread or water, and they were really sick of that manna stuff.

I guess the Lord was sick of their complaining because He sent venomous snakes among them and some people got bit and died.

I guess it takes a lot to get those people’s attention.

The people went to Moses and admitted that they’d sinned against him and against the Lord, and asked Moses to pray to the Lord to take the snakes away.

Then the Lord told Moses to make a bronze snake and put it on a pole. When anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake he would live.

That must have been some magical snake. Maybe we should get one like that.

What do you mean we have one like that in a way?

Jesus was lifted up like the snake? Jesus isn’t a snake.

Oh. Jesus said that just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert He would be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

But person, it’s almost Christmas time when Jesus comes as a little baby. Why would anyone lift up a little baby like that?

Jesus grew up? Really? I hope he doesn’t grow up too fast. I want to make sure to get my Christmas presents.

***

Oh, I almost forgot. Speaking of being lifted up, I got so excited about Christmas coming that I almost forgot that I have something to celebrate today. Today is National Mutt Day. So I thought I would show you a picture of one of my favorite mutts.

Shouldn’t I get some presents for National Mutt Day? After all, this is my special day.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on December 2, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christmas, faith, God, Israelite, Jesus, Moses, National Mutt Day, Pets, Snake

Speak or Strike

25 Nov

English: Moses striking the rock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites realized they were stuck in the desert for forty years did they finally settle down and do what God said? Maybe they could find a nice oasis and settle down there for awhile.

They complained some more? I guess all that manna was getting to them.

So they complained that there was no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates in the terrible place they were in.

What are they complaining about? I’ve never had a pomegranate.

Yes, I’m listening person.

And then they complained that there was no water to drink.

Hey person, I’m running out of water here. I need my water dish filled up.

No I’m not complaining. And I’m really listening.

Moses and Aaron were getting pretty frustrated with the people but the glory of the Lord appeared to them and He told Moses to take the staff and gather the people together. Then He said to speak to the rock and it will pour out water.

Maybe I can speak to my water dish.

I am listening.

Moses and Aaron gathered the people and Moses was so upset with them that he said, “Listen you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then he struck the rock with his staff and water came pouring out.

Maybe I can push my water dish under that rock.

God was mad at Moses and Aaron? Why? He gave them water didn’t he?

Oh. They didn’t do what He said?

God told Moses to speak to the rock and he struck the rock instead. God told Moses and Aaron that they didn’t trust Him enough to honor Him as holy. And because of it they weren’t going to get to bring Israel into the Promised Land.

Hey person, if I trust God will you fill up my water dish? This story has really made me thirsty.

And then maybe I can lead those Israelites into the Promised Land, since it looks like Moses and Aaron aren’t going to finish the job.

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aaron, Bible, faith, God, Israelite, Lord, Moses, Pets, Pomegranate, Water

Swallowed Up

18 Nov

English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, by Gustave Doré (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites were chased down the hill by the Amalekites what happened?

They didn’t? No way. Isn’t that kind of like a bully who gets beat on so he turns around to pick on somebody else?

I’m listening.

After the Amalekites chased the Israelites down the hill and the Israelites realized they were stuck in the wilderness for forty years for not trusting God, they decided to turn on Moses and his brother Aaron.

Well, three of them Korah, Dathan, and Abiram turned on Moses and Aaron, and they had 250 other guys with them. They didn’t like that God spoke to Moses and that Aaron was the high priest. They figured they should all have equal access to God and be equal with Moses and Aaron.

Moses told these guys who had turned on him that it was against the Lord they had turned. He summoned Dathan and Abiram but they refused to come and just grumbled that Moses hadn’t brought them into a land flowing with milk and honey.

I’d be complaining if I was left in the desert too. Sand doesn’t taste anything like dog treats.

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord knew that Korah, Dathan, and Abiram had gone too far and He told Moses to tell everyone to move away from their tents. When the people had moved, the ground opened up and swallowed the three rebels along with their tents and all their stuff.

I was looking for a tent for my miracle healings the other day. Maybe I’d better stay away from tents.

I am listening person. You can go on with the story. I’m waiting.

The Lord decided to get rid of the grumbling so He told Moses to collect the staff of a leader from each of the tribes of Israel and write the owner’s name on it. The Lord said that the staff belonging to the man He chose would sprout.

The next day Aaron’s staff had not only sprouted, but had budded, blossomed, and produced almonds too. The Lord told Moses to put Aaron’s staff in front of the tablets with the Ten Commandments on them as a reminder to the rebellious.

Do you think I could get a staff like that? But I don’t think I want mine to come from an almond tree. Do you think I could get one from that bone tree I found?

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 18, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aaron, Bible, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Lord, Moses, Pets

Up the Hill

11 Nov

I bet those Israelites were pretty upset after God told them they would be wandering in the desert for forty years. No treats or anything. No milk and honey. Just manna every day – three times a day – for forty years.

I would eat manna. But treats are good sometimes too.

I am ready to listen, person. I was just waiting for you to begin the story.

So those Israelites made God pretty mad when they wouldn’t trust Him to help them take the Promised Land. They were scared of those giants, and all the fortified cities.

But after God told them they would have to wander in the desert for such a long time they must have thought that that was worse than taking a chance on dying in a battle for the Promised Land.

So they said they had sinned and decided they would go to the place the Lord had promised.

But Moses said they were a day late and a dollar short and God was no longer with them.

I didn’t know they had dollars in the desert?

Yes, I’m listening.

Moses told the people not to go. Because they had turned from the Lord, the Amalekites and Canaanites would face them there and defeat them.

But those Israelites figured they could do it on their own so they went up to the high hill country anyway.

Neither Moses nor the Ark of the Covenant went with them.

Maybe Moses didn’t want to go hill climbing.

I am listening.

So when the Israelites got up in those hills the Canaanites and the Amalekites who lived there came down and attacked them.

And they chased them all the way down the hill.

That was a lot of hill climbing for nothing.

12 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 11, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Ark of the Covenant, Bible, Canaan, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Lord, Moses, Pets

Exploring the Land

04 Nov

English: Moses and the Messengers from Canaan, by Giovanni Lanfranco, oil on canvas, 85-3/4 x 97 inches, at the J. Paul Getty Museum, Los Angeles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Those Israelites that Moses was leading sure had to hang out in the desert for a long time before God would let them go to the Promised Land.

Really? They finally were almost there? Are they going to march right in and take over?

Oh. They sent some explorers in first, huh? That’s what God told Moses to do? I guess that’s a pretty good idea. Could I go with them? I could wear my explorer hat.

What do you mean, I don’t have an explorer hat?

I wouldn’t run off. Really I wouldn’t.

I’m listening.

Moses sent a leader from each of the twelve tribes of Israel to explore the land. He told them to see what the people were like and what kind of land they lived in. He told them to see if the towns were fortified or not, if the land was good for farming, and if there were trees. And he asked them to bring back some of the fruit of the land.

Could they bring back some dog treats too?

Yes, I’ll listen.

Those men explored the land for forty days and when they came back they brought a branch with a cluster of grapes that was so big it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them.

That’s a lot of grapes. I hope they’ll share some with me.

What do you mean, dogs aren’t supposed to eat grapes? I think they should go back then and get something I can eat. A nice meaty bone maybe.

I’ve been listening all along.

The explorers told Moses that the land truly was a land flowing with milk and honey, but the people were powerful, the cities fortified, and they even saw giants.

Only Caleb and Joshua said that they should go take the land, because those two knew that God was with them and they could do it.

The other ten explorers turned the Israelites against Moses and Aaron and they all grumbled. They were afraid they would all die by the sword and their wives and children would be taken as plunder. They wanted to choose a leader to take them back to Egypt.

The Lord became angry with the people, and Moses had to talk Him out of destroying them and using Moses to start a new nation.

So what happened? Did they go back to Egypt?

They did? They had to hang out in the desert for forty years? Wow! That’s a long time.

No way! God said everyone over twenty except Joshua and Caleb would die in the desert during those forty years? And their children would be the ones to take the land?

Do you think when those children go in there they could get me some treats?

14 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 4, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Caleb, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Joshua, Lord, Moses, Pets