I’m taking a sick day.
Hey person, I’ve never done this before.
Do I get sick pay?
Category Archives: humor
He Said
There’s something not fair around here.
Totally not fair.
Those cats I live with are always allowed on the furniture.
Anytime and anywhere.
But if I try to get on the furniture – the nice, comfy furniture – I get yelled at and told to get down.
Is that unfair, or what?
***
Sometimes I sneak onto the furniture when my person isn’t looking.
But the problem is that the furniture is so comfy that I don’t always wake up when my person comes near.
It’s really embarrassing when I get kicked off the furniture and the cats get to stay.
I feel like a second class citizen around here.
And we all know that dogs rule over cats.
We all know that, right?
I didn’t hear you.
Well, never mind.
Because I figured out a way to get past the problem.
I found myself an ally.
Person, don’t even try to kick me off.
He said I could.
Hanging Out
It seems like every time I take my person for walks she gets her camera out.
She’s always making me wait while she takes pictures of flowers and stuff.
It’s frustrating.
I’ve got places to go and things to sniff – and all my person wants to do is stay in one spot and take pictures.
But when it comes to my yard, I’m not allowed to hang out there.
I get to go do my business and then I have to come right back in.
I don’t know what my person’s problem is.
Just because I jumped the fence once or twice.
I only do it when I’m bored.
***
But I finally figured it out.
You see, a thistle popped up in my yard and there aren’t any thistles on my trails.
So when my person was out pulling weeds I hid it from her.
And it worked.
Because that thistle bloomed and just like I knew she would…
My person headed out with her camera.
And I got to hang out in the yard.
Wind and Fire
Hey person, I’m still trying to figure out what those weird animals are you’ve been hanging out with all week.
I’m not ready for another Bible story.
If I listen will you tell me about the weird animals?
What do you mean, I have to take my chances?
But last week Jesus went up into heaven.
Isn’t the story over?
Okay, I’m listening.
***
When the day of Pentecost came, the disciples were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.
***
We had wind here today.
Do you think it was the same wind that blew on us and them?
I am listening.
***
They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.
***
Somebody better get the fire hose!
What do you mean, listen to the story?
Are you going to get the fire hose, person?
***
All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.
***
Did the Holy Spirit get the fire hose?
***
Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language.
***
I bet some of them could even speak to dogs.
Yes, I’m listening.
I think I hear someone speaking my language.
***
Utterly amazed, they asked, “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Parthians, Medes, and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs – we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!”
***
I wonder if the dogs from all those places speak the same language?
I am speaking – I mean listening.
***
Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”
***
I bet if all those people could speak to their dogs it would all be explained.
Not a Weird Animal
I’ve been working on this mystery all week.
Why does my person leave me in dog jail and leave the house talking about weird animals?
I think I might finally be getting somewhere.
I’ve been sneaking peaks at her camera when she’s not looking.
And I’ve finally found something.
.
.
.
Hey wait a minute!
That’s not a weird animal.
That’s a dog.
And those are puppies.
What’s so weird about that?
Did my person say she was hanging out with weird animals, or leaving the weird animals?
I’d better check this out.
She couldn’t be talking about me.
It must be the cats!
How Weird Can it Get?
The mystery is getting so deep I’m having trouble keeping my Detective Dog hat on.
All week my person has been leaving me and talking about weird animals.
What is she doing?
.
.
.
.
.
I think I should be informed.
Or maybe not.
Is there something crawling up my leg?
The Weird Mystery Deepens
I had to put on my Detective Dog hat to start investigating these weird animals my person has been talking about.
The mystery is getting deeper and deeper.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What kind of a weird animal is this?
Weird
I went to investigate those weird animals my person keeps talking about and I thought I’d start with her camera.
I found something that’s got me really confused.
Why is a mole out in the sunlight while I’m stuck in dog jail.
That’s weird.
I’ll Do it Tomorrow
I was getting ready to put on my Detective Dog hat and investigate those weird animals.
You know, the ones my person keeps talking about that for some reason are taking all her time from helping me with my blog.
But just as I went for my hat there was a knock on the door.
Knocks on the door are always exciting.
It means there’s a person on the other side.
And it was one of my friends.
He said he came to see Gizmo because Gizmo used to live with him.
But I know different.
He was looking for an excuse to come see me.
.
I’m all worn out now.
I’ll investigate those weird animals tomorrow.
Weird Animal Investigation
This is terrible.
My person said something about Weird Animals and then she said she didn’t have time to write my blog post.
Who’s the weird animal anyway?
I’d better investigate this.
bongodogblog 