My person kept going places all day today.
And every time she left I got locked in dog jail.
In and out.
In and out.
And it seemed like a lot more ins that outs.
But I got to thinking…
…because I’m a really smart dog.
And I came up with an idea.
Because it’s not really fair that I always have to go in dog jail…
…but the cats don’t.
.
So here’s my idea.
I’ll lure the cats in…
…and then I’ll shut the door.
Don’t you think this is a great idea?
Gizmo’s trying to take over my dog jail.
Should I lock him in?
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Okay, I’ve got to tell you what’s been going on at my house while I’ve been absent from my blog.
There seems to be a great jealousy of my dog jail kennel from the cats.
I guess they wish they had one as nice as mine.
But I’m guarding it and I might need to put a sign up that says “No Cats Allowed!”
So the cats have had to settle for second best.
.
.
Scratchy had to go to the vet the other day so his cat jail was sitting out.
And he’s claiming it – or guarding it – or something.
Who would want your silly old cat cage anyway Scratchy?
It’s too little to be any good.
***
Now Gizmo, not to be left out, had to get creative.
He made his own little cubby.
Not as good as mine…
But I have to admit that Gizmo is innovative.
Or is that in na box?
A couple days ago I had a rumbly in my tummy and I wasn’t feeling very good.
The bed in my dog jail is comfy so I was spending a little more time in there than usual.
But I had to go get a drink of water and when I came back things weren’t the same as I left them.
.
.
.
.
My dog jail was no longer empty.
It had occupants.
My dog jail had pigs inside!
How did my dog jail turn into a pig jail?
Where did these pigs come from anyway?
I still had that rumbly in my tummy and I didn’t feel up to solving this mystery, so I decided to get rid of it instead.
Pigs, get out!
***
I finally got the pigs out of my dog jail, but now what.
I couldn’t have pigs running all over the house.
So I corralled them over to the door.
And they just sat there looking at it.
I tried giving those pigs a shove.
And they still didn’t budge.
So I finally decided to try a different tactic.
Hey pigs, you see that door there?
Now follow me!
I’m not sure who was up to the most mischief today.
My person, or the visitor.
You see, my person saw a visitor in our driveway today and you know what she did?
She came in, got her camera, and locked me in jail!
You hear that?
She locked me in dog jail.
I wanted to visit the visitor, and she locked me in dog jail.
.
And then she went out to take pictures.
And what was that visitor doing in my yard?
And what was it doing hanging around waiting for my person to get her camera?
We’ve seen a couple snakes on my trails lately.
And my person used some excuse about them hiding before she could get her camera out, and she wouldn’t take any pictures.
But this snake – in my yard – hangs around waiting until my person gets back outside with her camera.
Without me.
I think my person and that snake had this all planned out.
Just wait till I get my paws on my person’s camera.
We’ll see who visits my yard then.
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“Hey Scratchy, what are we going to do about Bongo?”
“He’s locked up in dog jail Gizmo. I don’t think we have to do anything.”
“But what if he gets out?”
“He won’t get out. He never has yet. He couldn’t even chew his way out during a thunderstorm.”
“I’ve got a friend visiting today. What if she opens the door and lets him out?”
“Oh, yeah you’re right Gizmo. What about this rope here?”
.
“That rope’s too short to tie Bongo up with. But I’ve got a better idea.”
“Great idea Gizmo. That was brilliant.”
“He’ll never get out of that dog jail now, will he Scratchy?”
“Not a chance. And Bongo will finally realize that not everyone who comes here to visit is coming specifically for his benefit.”
“She’ll never be able to get Bongo out of there. She’ll probably give up before she even tries.”
“I’ll bet she won’t even notice that rope anyway because we both know she’s coming over here to see me.”
“Hey Bongo, are you having fun in there?”
***
This blog post was brought to you by “the cats.”
Those cats are still hanging out at my house having a cat party.
This must be the longest cat party ever.
But I guess they wore themselves out and decided to take naps.
The only problem is that Gizmo took his nap in my dog jail kennel.
What’s a cat doing in a dog’s kennel? My kennel at that!
Well, I’d had enough of all the mischief going on around here so I told Gizmo he’d better get out of my kennel.
.
And you know what he did?
He made sure there was no room left for me.
Cats!
What do you do with them?
You can’t beat them and you can’t join them.
So I did the next best thing.
I kissed him.
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Hmmm. This new dog bed that showed up in my dog jail on Christmas is really comfy.
I hope my person doesn’t catch me sleeping on it.
She might think I like my dog jail.
I might get locked up in here even more than I do now.
Zzzzzzzzz. What a nice place for a nap.
.
.
***
What? What was that?
I think a light just flashed.
I hope it’s not lightning – because that means the next thing coming is thunderrrrrr!
Whew! It’s too quiet for thunder.
Maybe I’d better open an eye and see what it was.
Oh no! My person is there holding her camera.
If I turn my back to her maybe she won’t notice I’m sleeping in here.
Person, you don’t see me in here.
I was not sleeping in here.
I just came in because – because –
Because one of my toys got in here somehow and I had to come in to get it.
Scratchy must have put it in here.
Really person, really.
You’ll never catch me sleeping in here with the door open.
Check this out.
Awhile back I got my own dog jail kennel.
I don’t always like being locked up in it, but it is kind of cool having my very own room.
It makes me feel important because my dog jail room takes up space in the house that could be used for other things.
That makes me special.
But something has happened.
My dog jail kennel is near my younger person’s bathroom and the laundry room.
So my younger person decided it was easier to use the top of my dog jail kennel as a shelf to put his clean clothes on.
Is this fair?
I mean, it’s my dog jail.
Shouldn’t it be used as a shelf to store my stuff?
My toys could go up there when I’m not playing with them.
And my treats. Yes, piles and piles of treats would fit up there.
I think if I tried really hard I could reach those treats too.
That would make it easier for my people.
They’d never have to bother giving me treats. I could help myself to them any time I wanted.
So how do I convince my younger person to move his clothes and put my treats there instead?
Oh yeah. I bet if I could reach treats up there I could reach clothes too.
I wonder what he’d think if I got them down and slobbered all over them.
They’d probably end up back in his room really quick.
After he ran them through the wash one more time, that is.
Time for treats!
Scratchy!
What are you doing in my dog jail kennel?
You don’t belong in here.
This is my place. My our person bought this for me.
You’d better get out of here.
.
.
Scratchy, I mean it.
You need to get out of here now.
Scratchy, I’m trying to be nice about this.
Why is it you don’t want to cooperate?
All you have to do is get out of my kennel and go find your own place to sleep.
Alright, that does it.
That’s enough.
I’ll deal with this later.
Scratchy, if you want to be in here so bad you can stay in here.
I’m outta here!
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