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Category Archives: humor

Come and Get Me

03 Feb

Hey person, you can’t put these pictures on my blog.

Everyone’s going to see how much I’ve messed up messy your yard is.

I only claim the yard when it’s not messed up.

So anyway, it’s Monday Mischief Day and my younger person is always pulling mischief on me.

He’s always leaving and going to that college place.

So I decided I would start pulling mischief on him.

If I’m out in the yard when my younger person is home and my person wants me to come in I run off.

Now, I know that sounds like I’m pulling mischief on my person instead of my younger person.

But that’s not the case at all.

You see, I refuse to come in until my younger person comes out to get me.

Because that means he has to get up from whatever he’s doing and come outside.

And he usually grumps about it too.

But I’m really doing him a favor.

He needs the exercise and fresh air.

Sure, I’ll come in for you –

If you let me take you for a walk.

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

31 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 3, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: mischief, Pets, yard, younger person

Taking my Place

02 Feb

Nobody’s going to read my post today.

First, they’re going to be out looking for that pesky groundhog.

You know, the one who’s supposed to see his shadow so we actually get some winter before it turns spring.

What do you mean, we don’t have any groundhogs here?

That’s terrible! You mean we’re not going to get any snow?

Could somebody please send me some snow?

Anyway, after everybody finishes looking for that groundhog – that they’re not going to find if they live near me – they’re going inside to watch the Super Bowl.

And after that they’ll remember all the things they should have been doing and nobody’s going to read my blog.

Wait! What?

You said two of Jesus’ disciples want to be on each side of Him?

Jesus will have trouble passing any fish to me then.

I’d better do something about this.

Yes, I’m listening to the story.

***

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

“What do you want me to do for you?” He asked.

They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

***

I’m sure Jesus would rather have a dog by His side.

I am listening.

***

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

***

There’s just water in that cup, right?

And baptism, isn’t that kind of like going swimming?

I’m all in!

***

“We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

***

See, I knew it!

I’m sure there’s a spot right next to Jesus prepared for a dog.

I’m listening! Do you think I’d know what to say if I wasn’t listening?

***

When the ten heard about this,…

***

The ten and the dog – that’s me.

***

…they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

***

What!? I have to be a servant and a slave?

There must be some other way.

That’s too hard.

***

Jesus continued, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

***

Okay, if Jesus can do it I guess I can too.

Hey person, here’s your slippers.

I did not take them off your feet so I could give them to you!

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 2, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Groundhog, James, Jesus, John, Pets, Super Bowl

Under the Weather

01 Feb

It’s been raining out and my person says she’s under the weather so she won’t take me for a walk.

I don’t know what else she expects.

When it rains you’re always under the weather.

My person must have forgotten what it’s like.

We haven’t had any rain in over a month.

Do you think maybe if I took her flying up over the weather she’d take me for a walk?

It’s kind of hard to have adventures when you can’t leave the house.

Guess I’ll take a nap.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on February 1, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: nap, Pets, Rain, walk, Weather

Snow Dust

31 Jan

I’ve been waiting for snow all winter.

We haven’t had any.

My friends in faraway places have more snow than they know what to do with.

Someone even tried to send me some.

But all I got was a soggy box.

I might have to bite the mailman who stole my snow.

So while I’m waiting impatiently for the snow I thought I’d do the next best thing.

I might not have all that white stuff to play in, but there’s sure a lot of red around here.

So I’m heading to my favorite dusty spot.

This spot has deep dust so when I get it kicking, it goes flying.

And when it settles you won’t even see the hole.

***

Hey person, could we get it to rain dust instead of snow?

This is much better. My toes aren’t frozen?

Dust storms? We have dust storms here?

Where’s the weather report?

I’ve got to find out when the next one is.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 31, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: dust, Pets, Trail

What Are They Doing Here?

30 Jan

I’ve been finding some strange things in the parking lot of my trails lately.

Take this vehicle for instance.

What in the world would anyone be bringing kayaks to my trails for?

There’s no water anywhere on my trails.

Well, sometimes my puddle is there but it’s been missing for a long time.

And sometimes the wash gets filled if it’s been raining a lot.

But even then, I don’t think I’d want to take a kayak down it.

Those kayaks would scrape bottom and probably get big holes in them – and then they’d sink.

Well no, I guess they wouldn’t sink.

The water isn’t deep enough.

I decided to give up on why those kayaks would be anywhere near my trails when I ran across another mystery.

This is even worse than kayaks.

There’s not a single window on my trails.

Well, I did see a piece of broken glass – but it didn’t need washing.

I think these two vehicles are in cohorts with each other.

But that might depend on if a man or a woman is driving that car.

I might have to wait to find out who shows up because I’m not sure if the driver is a Window Man or a Wind Woman.

If it’s a Wind Woman I might never find out.

She may have blown away.

***

While I was busy contemplating what had happened to the Wind Woman I saw something else.

And I’ve got a serious problem with the driver of this car.

I guess you can claim most of the earth for yourself…

But these trails are mine!

Got it?

Mine!

27 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 30, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: kayaks, license plates, Pets, Trail, vehicles, Water, windows

Big, Big Dogs

29 Jan

What a day I had!

First, I saw these strange prints on my trails.

They don’t look like people prints and they’re certainly not from any animal I know.

I saw prints like these once, a long time ago.

And I never did figure out what they were.

I started to head home to get my Detective Dog hat and figure out this mystery when I came across another clue.

Hmmm. This stuff tastes kind of good. I wonder where it came from.

My person wouldn’t let me finish the stuff off – and I guess it would have destroyed all the evidence anyway – so I continued on my way to get my hat.

When I saw them.

The biggest dogs I have ever seen in my life!

And they were coming right at me!

They passed right by me on my trails.

And there were people riding on their backs.

My person better never try to ride on my back.

Oh oh. Here come some more of those dogs.

Hey, where are those big dogs going?

Do you believe it? They just walked by me.

And they didn’t even stop to say “Hi.”

Hey big dogs, come back here!

I’m not through with you yet.

***

This is terrible!

Not only did those big dogs just walk away…

They made a cactus try to hold me in place so I couldn’t follow them.

I’ll take care of those dogs alright.

They won’t get away with ignoring me on my own trails.

I’m sending the helicopter squad out to pick them up.

28 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 29, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cactus, Detective Dog, Helicopter, horses, Outdoors, Pets, Sedona, Sedona Arizona, Trail

No Snow

28 Jan

You see this picture here?

It didn’t happen today, or this week, or even this month.

This snow happened a very long time ago.

I haven’t had any snow to play in at all this winter.

And some of my friends have way more snow than they want.

You’d think it could get evened out a little better.

So I’m trying to figure out how I can get some of those clouds down here to play in.

They look like they might be as much fun as snow.

It looks like God’s paintbrush almost ran out of paint when He was brushing those clouds across the sky.

Oh wait, I think I’ve figured out how to get those clouds down here.

Almost anyway.

Hey, what’s this?

Isn’t that little colored spot in the sky called a sun dog?

Now that’s my kind of cloud.

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 28, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: clouds, Pets, Sedona, Sedona Arizona, snow, sun dog, Trail

Early Spring

27 Jan

I think I’m in trouble now.

This is January, right?

Isn’t January the middle of winter?

Well, it kind of doesn’t seem like that here – but the flowers should pay attention.

They’re not supposed to show up for months.

But my person found one today.

The first flower of spring – but it’s still winter.

Which means it’s already started.

Those drudgingly long waits while my person gets her camera out and takes picture after picture of flowers.

And it looks like it’s going to be a long season this year.

I don’t know why she does it.

I mean, aren’t these the same kinds of flowers that she took pictures of last year.

And the year before.

I just don’t get people sometimes.

They don’t make any sense.

Okay, I’m done with my rant until the next time my person gets her camera out.

Wait! What?

More flowers already?

I forgot about those Manzanita bushes.

They always start blooming really early.

And then when they stop blooming they have berries.

And my person takes pictures of those.

I think I’d better do something about this.

Maybe I should eat them like I did to those curly weeds the other day.

Oh. Ummm.

This is going to be tricky.

There are a lot of Manzanita bushes on my trails.

Does anybody want to come help?

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

21 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 27, 2014 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Camera, Flower, manzanita, Pets, Trail

Staggered Shifts

26 Jan

Last week I was trying to stuff a camel through a needle’s eye – but it didn’t work.

Do you think maybe I could get my treats to go through?

I mean, heaven wouldn’t be heaven without treats.

Okay, I’ll listen to the story.

But I hope there’s treats in it.

***

Jesus said, “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.”

***

How many treats does a denarius buy?

I am listening.

***

“About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.”

***

Maybe he was going to pay them in treats.

***

“He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’”

***

I bet if someone offered them treats they’d work for them.

How much listening do I have to do? Give me a treat first.

***

“’Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’”

***

That man must have had a lot of treats to pay with.

What do you mean, vineyards have grapes and dogs aren’t supposed to eat them?

No fair!

***

“When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’”

***

I think I’ll wait and hang out with those first workers – after they get paid, that is.

***

“The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When the received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’”

***

I bet those grumbly guys won’t even buy me any treats. I think I’ll go hang out with an eleventh hour guy.

***

“But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am so generous?’”

***

Now I know who I’m going to hang out with. I think I like that landowner.

***

Then Jesus said, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

***

Okay, I’m getting in line last – I mean first.

I mean – I don’t know what I mean. I’m all confused.

Which way are the treats?

15 Comments

Posted by Bongo on January 26, 2014 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Jesus, Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard, Pets