Category Archives: humor

I think that man that Peter healed in the last story still wants treats.

I know because he was hanging on to Peter and John.

If I hang on to you will you give me some treats?

I might get treats after I listen to the story?

Okay, I’m listening!

***

While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon’s Colonnade, so Peter began speaking to them.

The priests and the captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees came up to Peter and John while they were speaking to the people.

***

Did they want treats too?

I am listening.

***

They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead. They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day.

***

They got locked in jail too?

I wonder if it was anything like my dog jail.

***

But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.

***

If I could just get them to give me one treat each I’d be set for life.

Or at least for next week.

I’m listening.

***

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them. “By what power did you do this?”

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.’”

***

That’s telling them!

***

Peter continued, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.

***

Those guys better listen to Peter or they’re going to be lost for sure.

And they won’t get any treats either.

***

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

***

I bet all those fish they ate made them smart.

Hey person, you need to give me more fish.

***

But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together.

***

I bet they’re going to ask Peter and John for some fish.

***

“What are we going to do with these men?” they asked. “Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it. But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name.”

***

They’re just upset because Jesus didn’t give them any treats.

***

Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

***

Those Sanhedrin guys ought to be nicer to Peter and John.

I bet Jesus would give them some fish if they were.

***

After further threats they let them go. They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened. For the man who was miraculously healed was over forty years old.

***

Forty years is a long time to be waiting for treats.

By the way, where’s my treats?

You said – if I listened.

I did not hear you say might.

When you put treats in a sentence, that’s the only word I hear.