Either that car was going too fast or that bird was flying way too slow.
They should have let me drive.
Category Archives: humor
Too Busy
I hope nobody missed me yesterday.
You see, I had some important things to do and I ran out of time to tell you about my latest adventures.
I was busy…
I was busy doing…
What was I busy doing?
Oh yeah.
I had some important things to do.
Very important stuff.
.
Like playing ball.
So I hope you understand that sometimes there’s stuff that’s just more important than posting to my blog.
***
What!?
What do you mean, I did post on my blog yesterday?
I didn’t post anything. I’m sure of it.
I’d better check.
Gizmooooo!
What are you doing on my blog?
Don’t ever get on my blog again!
It’s my blog. Mine!
As soon as I catch you I’m giving you what for.
Don’t even think you can escape by hiding in that cubby.
***
I’m going back to guard the computer now.
Will someone please let me know when Gizmo jumps down?
Don’t Tell Bongo
This is Gizmo here.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to sneak on the computer when Bongo wasn’t looking.
And it’s about time I updated you on what’s going on around here.
You see, I’ve been elevated to the same status as the people.
Or maybe even a little higher.
.
.
.
Since I’m allowed on the couch like the people here, I thought maybe I should sit on the couch the same way they do.
Bongo is relegated to the floor, or dog jail, so I know my status here is way above his.
I don’t even know what a floor dog needs a blog for.
I may have to take it over from him permanently.
Oh wait! Here comes Bongo.
I don’t want Bongo to find out what I’m up to.
This is Gizmo signing off now.
***
Yes, Bongo. I love you too.
Oh, the things a cat has to put up with when he’s trying to pull something over on a dog.
Stealing My Rocks
There has been some real mischief going on around here this weekend.
Someone is trying to steal my red rocks.
I looked outside and they were slowly fading away.
They came back later in the day, but whoever was after them must be really persistent.
.
.
.
.
Because the next morning they were hardly there at all.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Without my rocks this place won’t be the same.
Look at this!
My person says there’s a fire and it’s the smoke that’s stealing the rocks.
Well, that must be some pretty mischievous smoke.
I’ve never heard of such a thing.
I hope all those firefighters that are fighting that fire can capture all the smoke and send it away.
Because what if that smoke tries to steal something more than my rocks?
Like meeeeee!
Click here to find more mischievous pets.
Feed My Sheep
![Feed My Lambs - James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://bongodogblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/512px-brooklyn_museum_-_feed_my_lambs_pais_mes_brebis_-_james_tissot.jpg)
Last week there were so many fish in that Bible story.
Can we just do that story again this week?
What do you mean, I can go back and read it.
It’s not the same as hearing it.
Besides, I can’t read.
Oh alright, I’ll listen to the next story.
***
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
***
I bet he really does love Jesus after Jesus helped him catch all that fish.
Well, is there a better reason to love someone besides food?
***
“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, ‘you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
***
I’ll feed Jesus’ lambs if He helps me catch fish.
I am listening.
***
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
***
Jesus has sheep?
***
The third time He said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”
***
I think I’d better get my herding type friends to help Peter.
Jesus might have a lot of sheep.
Yes, I’ll listen.
***
Jesus said to Peter, “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”
***
I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have hands.
Nobody can stretch mine out.
***
Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then He said to him, “Follow me!”
***
Whoa!
If you follow Jesus you get fish, but then you might die for Him?
I have to think about this.
***
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”
***
I guess Peter was thinking about it too.
***
Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”
***
I guess that says that.
***
Because of this, the rumor spread among the brothers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”
***
I don’t think that guy’s dead yet.
I wonder if he has any fish left.
I think I’ll go look for him.
My Century is Best
Yesterday, when my person took her big camera and wouldn’t take me she said she was looking for smoke.
Well yeah, she found that smoke, but that wasn’t the only thing she was looking for.
She went scouting for century plants.
The place where she went to find smoke is also the area where we find lots of century plants this time of year.
But I think my person was being punished for not taking me along.
Because she hardly found any century plants there.
And the best one of all is the one right next to my trail.
The one we’ve been watching grow every day.
My person needs to learn that the best things show up when I’m there with her.
.
So just to prove it, I actually let her take some pictures of my century plant.
But these better be the last pictures she takes – of something that’s not me.
Where there’s Smoke…
Hey, how come I don’t get to go?
That’s not fair.
That big camera always wins out over me.
It’s not like I’m gonna break your camera or anything.
I won’t yank on the leash and pull you over on top of the camera.
Besides, if you fell on your camera wouldn’t it be your fault?
So what are you taking pictures of?
Smoke?
That’s not very interesting.
You should be taking pictures of me.
There’s a fire?
Where?
You can’t leave me in dog jail if there’s a fire.
What if I get stuck in here and I can’t get out?
Those cats would leave the house without me.
You know how they are.
Are you sure it’s not that close?
.
Okay, I’ll look at the pictures.
Yeah, I guess it is far away.
But what if it comes closer?
See, I told you this was gonna come closer.
Let me out of this dog jail and grab onto my leash!
I’ll protect you.
Oh, and leave your big camera at home.
***
P.S. My person says we are safe from this fire, but asks for prayer for the people who have been evacuated from their homes, and for all the firefighters who are fighting this fire. This is the Slide Fire in Oak Creek Canyon in Arizona between Sedona and Flagstaff.
Lizard Without a Tail
Look at this.
This is the strangest lizard.
Or a poor excuse for a lizard.
It has no tail.
Well, it kind of has a stub where its tail should be.
But I think I know why.
We have lots of lizards on my trails but my person hardly ever gets pictures of them.
All we see of them is the tail end as they scurry away.
But this lizard is hanging out for pictures.
Which means, some time ago it must have hung out long enough for somebody to catch it by the tail.
And you know what lizards do when they’re caught by the tail?
They drop their tail.
And the would be lizard eater is left with just a wriggly tail in its mouth while the lizard scurries away.
But this lizard better watch it because now it has no more tail to drop.
At least until that little stub turns into a new tail.
.
Get along little lizard.
It’s about time you left.
Hey, I just realized something.
That lizard took over my whole blog.
Please forget that you ever saw a lizard.
This blog is supposed to be about me.
And see, I even have a tail.
She Needs One
Check this out.
No, not me.
It’s what’s behind me.
No, not the car!
It’s what’s on the car.
It’s something my person needs to get.
As a matter of fact, everyone who has a pet should have one.
But I don’t think my person cares.
Because if she cared enough she’d get one of those things.
Just to prove how much she loves me.
The sign says pet, not pets – so I know if my person gets one of these it’ll be about me.
Cats don’t count.
Besides, the cats are my pets – I’m just not allowed to get rid of them.
Oh, wait.
.
I guess maybe you can’t read that sign on the car.
Is that better?
Now to figure out how to convince my person she needs one.
A sign I mean. She already has a pet.
The Visitor
I’m not sure who was up to the most mischief today.
My person, or the visitor.
You see, my person saw a visitor in our driveway today and you know what she did?
She came in, got her camera, and locked me in jail!
You hear that?
She locked me in dog jail.
I wanted to visit the visitor, and she locked me in dog jail.
.
And then she went out to take pictures.
And what was that visitor doing in my yard?
And what was it doing hanging around waiting for my person to get her camera?
We’ve seen a couple snakes on my trails lately.
And my person used some excuse about them hiding before she could get her camera out, and she wouldn’t take any pictures.
But this snake – in my yard – hangs around waiting until my person gets back outside with her camera.
Without me.
I think my person and that snake had this all planned out.
Just wait till I get my paws on my person’s camera.
We’ll see who visits my yard then.
Click here to find more mischievous pets.
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