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Category Archives: humor

Scratchy’s What For

Bongo in kennel with the door openYesterday was too embarrassing. Scratchy was harassing me while I was locked in dog jail and I couldn’t get out.

Well today is a bit different because the door is open.

You’d better be running Scratchy because here I come.

.

.

.

I don’t believe it!

Scratchy is sitting there waiting for me.

Scratchy on the arm of a futon

I’m giving you what for for sure Scratchy.

***

Don’t think you’re safe on that counter. You know I can reach your food when it’s up there.

I’m on you now.

Bongo's paws on counter - Scratchy on top

Just a minute.

Don’t move Scratchy.

Before I give you what for I’ve got to pose for the camera.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on November 5, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Cat Mischief

Scratchy looking at Bongo in his kennelThis is Scratchy here.

Bongo won’t be on his blog for awhile. He’s simply not available.

I’m giving him payback for locking me in that dog cage – so now he’s in it.

I think I like this. It makes me feel really powerful.

I have the ability to keep Bongo locked up – or not.

And I don’t have to worry about my food being eaten when I’m not looking.

Or my litter box being invaded.

Or being chased around the house when Bongo thinks he wants to play.

No, this is really nice.

I think I’ll keep him in this cage for a long, long time.

If he gets thirsty I’ll put a little water on my paw and splash it on him.

And if he gets hungry – well, never mind. Bongo’s food doesn’t taste half bad. I think I’ll eat it all myself.

Bongo, you can just stay in dog jail for awhile. You deserve it.

I think I’ll  wander off and clean myself somewhere. Have fun Bongo.

Bongo looking at Scratchy from inside his kennel

Bongo:  Scratchy, when I get out of here I’m giving you what for for sure.

Scratchy: You won’t be out of there for a long time Bongo.

Oops, here comes our person. I’ll be hiding under the bed.

Monday Mischief Pet Blog Hop

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

 
47 Comments

Posted by on November 4, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Not His Sheep

sheepHey person, I’ve been really good all week. I didn’t dig up any seeds, but no trees have grown for me to leave messages on.

Maybe some other dog dug up that mustard seed that Jesus planted when I wasn’t looking.

You’ve got a new story to tell me?

But I’m still waiting for that mustard seed to grow.

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

The Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem had come and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. The Jews gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.”

***

They could have just read the Bible to find out.

I am listening.

***

Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep.”

***

Jesus has sheep? I didn’t know He was a shepherd. I thought He was a carpenter.

I’m listening, but I just want to know where the sheep come in.

***

Jesus continued, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

***

Okay, so Jesus’ Father got tired of being a carpenter and became a shepherd and then He gave the sheep to Jesus and went back to being a carpenter. I’m all confused.

What? Jesus had two fathers? I give up.

***

The Jews picked up stones to stone Jesus, but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?”

***

Oh, now I get it. I think. There’s the miracle Father and the carpenter father. But how come Jesus got so lucky to have two fathers?

If I listen will this make sense?

***

“We are not stoning you for any of these,” replied the Jews, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

***

This story is really confusing. First there’s an extra father, and then the Jews want Jesus to tell them something and when He does they want to stone Him.

I don’t think I’d be telling the truth if it meant someone was going to stone me.

***

Jesus answered the Jews, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are gods’? If he called them ‘gods,’ to whom the word of God came – and the Scripture cannot be broken – what about the one whom the Father set apart as His very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, ‘I am God’s Son’? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”

***

That’s too many big words for me. I think I’ll just go chase the sheep.

***

Again they tried to seize Jesus, but He escaped their grasp.

***

Hey Jesus, wait for me! I think I found one of your sheep.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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NaNoWriMo for Dogs

Bongo with pad, pen, and glasses - ready to writeNovember is NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. People work hard all month at writing a novel, and it’s about time us dogs did the same. I’ve been invited by my friend Rocco to take part in a joint novel writing effort. The story starts on Rocco’s site here: http://roccoshouse.com/nanowrimo-officially-starts-today/. I’m writing the second installment and other dogs will add to the story on their blogs. There are still spots available, so if you’d like to join us stop by and let Rocco know.

So here’s the second part of the story:

Running from one end of the yard to the other, I’m becoming frantic. I bark, but nobody hears. What if my owner is calling for help and no one is coming to his assistance?

Another trip around the yard and determination grips me. There is a way out of here!

Without thinking my paws begin tearing into the hard soil near the fence. I stop to shake off snow. Large flakes are blanketing the ground now.

Back to digging, I double my speed. I feel like I’m scraping at rock. I’m getting nowhere. Maybe if I move over here.

This is much better. All I have to do is get this snow out of the way. Ouch! The ground is hard again. Maybe if I get a rhythm going: scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, ka-chunk. There’s a hole here. Some little creature’s already been digging. Now, to make that hole bigger.

***

If you want to find out what happens next check out Haley and Zaphod’s blog. http://kten-haileychronicles.blogspot.com/

 
47 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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A Simple Investigation

Bongo sniffing a branch with yellow and green leavesLately my person has been having all the adventures and leaving me in dog jail.

Totally unfair!

I guess she felt sorry for me because she decided to give me something to investigate.

.

.

 

I didn’t bother to tell her that this investigation wasn’t even worth getting on my Detective Dog hat.

Bongo looking cool with his Detective Dog hat on

As a matter of fact, it wasn’t much of an investigation at all.

But it did allow me some great sniffs, so I’m not complaining.

We saw that two toned bush in the first picture. I swear it was all green the last time we walked by here.

But then we saw something even stranger.

Bongo sniffing behind a sunlit bush

We saw bushes that seemed to glow on their own, almost as if they had lights inside them.

And after those bushes, we saw a tree doing the same thing.

Bongo across the wash from a sunlit tree

But I solved this mystery far too easily.

There’s no electricity on my trails so it has to be something else.

Check this out.

Bongo sniffing below a sunlit tree

This is so obvious I don’t know why my person didn’t figure it out herself.

If I dig right here it will be obvious to everyone.

They buried the batteries right next to the tree.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on November 1, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Cat in a Cage

Bongo next to the dog crate - Scratchy insideI’ve been totally upset since I found out there was a dog jail in my big package.

But I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I came to a wrong conclusion.

My person was mistaken when she said the package was for me.

It wasn’t for me at all.

It’s not even a dog jail.

It’s a cat cage.

I decided to test my theory out, so I got some cat treats, carefully placed them inside the cage, and lured Scratchy in.

Then I shut the door.

Scratchy in the dog crate

Yup, it’s a cat cage alright.

This is really fun.

Making fun of Scratchy in the cage, I mean.

I was having a great time watching Scratchy in the cage when my person heard something – I’m not sure what – and showed up in the room with us.

Bongo looking guilty - Scratchy in cage

Person, I was only trying to do you a favor.

It’s Halloween.

Aren’t you supposed to lock all the black cats up for safety?

 
35 Comments

Posted by on October 31, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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The Inside of the Packages

Bongo next to a small packageIt’s been forever. Forever!

Some packages came for me and I’ve been waiting to see what’s inside – but my person wouldn’t let me open them.

It’s been terrible, having to wait.

But finally, she said I could open them.

The big one! I want to open the big one first.

What? I have to open the little one first?

This better be a two for one deal. I get to open both of them.

.

.

 

Bongo with a new Kong

I don’t believe it! I got a Kong!

This is the best thing ever because treats show up inside Kongs.

I used to have one of these a long time ago but I took it out in the yard and it never came back in.

No going out in the yard for you new Kong. I hope those treats show up inside you soon.

I get to open my other package now? The great big one?

Bongo by a large box

Can I wait for the treats to show up in my Kong first?

Oh, I get it. All the treats for my Kong are in that box. Woo woo!

***

Wait a minute!

This isn’t a box full of treats.

It’s a dog jail!

Bongo looking in his new crate

There must be some mistake. This must be for some other dog.

If I get locked in here I can’t steal the cat food.

Or mess up my person’s bed.

Or try to break out of the house during a thunderstorm.

Bongo wanting out of his crate

Let me out of this thing!

Bongo looking sad in dog jail

What am I going to do now? I’m in jail in my own house.

This is going to spoil all my fun.

Hey, wait a minute. I’m not alone in here.

Bongo licking his Kong in his dog jail

I wonder what my Kong did to get locked in jail with me.

And there’s treats inside!

 
41 Comments

Posted by on October 30, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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National Cat Day

Scratchy on the back of a futonThis is terrible! Just terrible!

Yesterday I told you about the big and little packages I got.

But my person wouldn’t let me open them yet.

I’m dying to know what’s in them, and she still won’t let me open them.

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Here’s why.

Today is National Cat Day. Do you believe it?

Maybe I could understand if it was National Dog Day, but it isn’t.

And – listen to this – it gets even worse.

My person said I have to give my blog to Scratchy for the rest of the day.

Scratchy on the back of the couch

This is Scratchy here.

I really don’t have much to say, but I know it’s really irritating Bongo that I’m on his blog.

So I’m going to stay here as long as I can.

He thinks he’s got something so special in those packages of his.

I bet there’s nothing that great in them. Probably a large lump of coal or something.

At least that’s what Bongo deserves.

Anyway, I think he’s just jealous because I’ve gotten all slim and trim so now I get to eat canned food.

And Bongo just gets to eat his boring old dry stuff.

That box better not be full of canned dog food.

Bongo by a large box

Did I hear dog food?

If I hang out long enough by this box my person will have to let me open it.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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What’s in the Box?

Bongo sniffing a packageI was so excited when this package showed up.

My person said it was for me.

For me?

I hardly ever get packages.

I wonder what it is.

Maybe it’s a fish.

But it doesn’t smell like a fish.

Or a squeaky toy.

I can’t get it to squeak though.

I give up. Come on person, help me open this.

Bongo with an unopened package

What do you mean I have to wait?

Patience is not my middle name.

I’ve got to know what it is.

My person can be very stubborn at times, but while I tried to get her to open my package another package showed up.

A really big package!

Bongo next to a large box

And this one is for me too.

I’ve never gotten a package this big before.

I must be really special.

I have no idea what’s in this package, and you know what?

My person wouldn’t let me open this one either.

Bongo guarding his box

Until this box gets opened I’m going to stand guard.

I wouldn’t want anyone to sneak off with it before I even know what’s in it.

Monday Mischief Pet Blog Hop

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

 
44 Comments

Posted by on October 28, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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The Kingdom of God is Like…

Mustard treeJesus told people what the kingdom of God is like? Is that like telling people what heaven is like?

I can’t wait to hear. I bet it’s wonderful.

I bet there is lots of water with fish in it.

And the fish jump right out of the water and into our mouths.

And when we’ve had our fill of fish we can go swimming.

And there are lots of cats to chase – or better yet, no cats at all.

Oh. Oops. Some of my blogging friends are cats.

There are certain cats allowed – but no others.

And there are no leashes – we don’t have to keep our people on leashes because it’s impossible to get lost in heaven.

And we can run free wherever and whenever we want.

And when we get tired of running there are lots of treats waiting for us, and a nice cozy spot to curl up for a nap.

Is that what Jesus says heaven is like?

Okay, I’ll listen to what Jesus says.

***

Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like?”

***

What do you mean, Jesus asked that?

I thought Jesus knew everything. Isn’t He God?

He should know what His own kingdom is like.

Yes, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus asked another question. “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to?”

***

Oh, I get it. Jesus was thinking out loud. That’s what I do on my blog all the time.

I’m listening person.

***

Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden.

***

I get it! The man planted something and now us dogs get to go dig it up.

That’s heaven, right?

***

Jesus said that though the mustard seed is the smallest of all the seeds the people had, when it grows it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, and the birds of the air come and perch on its branches.

***

That’s what the kingdom of God is like?

Oh, now I see. The Bible talks about self control. So if I control myself and don’t dig up that seed – and keep all the other dogs from digging up that seed – then we will have a tree to leave messages on.

I almost forgot that it’s really important to have trees in heaven.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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