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Category Archives: humor

Lazy Litterbugs

It’s been a long time since I’ve put on my Detective Dog hat, but it’s time to do it.

You see, there have been some litter bugs on my trails lately and they’re dropping strange things.

Most of the time these strange things are only a few yards from the trailhead where the garbage can is. Which means that there is a serious problem with lazy litterbugs on my trails.

And another thing is that these pieces of litter are really small. They could easily fit into someone’s pocket. I bet several of them could fit into someone’s pocket.

But I guess I understand why no one wants to put them in their pocket when they’re through with them.

They stink really bad. So bad that I won’t go near them with my nose. Which makes it really hard to do an investigation.

How can I investigate if I can’t sniff around?

So why would anybody want these stinky things in the first place?

Anything that’s too stinky to stick in your pocket is definitely too stinky to carry around with you. People should leave them at home, or the store, or wherever it is that they got them.

That would solve two problems. No litter and no stink.

But maybe that’s not such a good idea after all. Because if those things weren’t here then I wouldn’t have anything to investigate.

And that would put Detective Dog out of a job.

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29 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 6, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: cigarette butt, litter, litterbugs, Pet, Trail

Get that Shirt

05 Apr

What is it about my younger person? I just can’t seem to win with him.

You see what he’s wearing, don’t you?

He’s got a cat on his shirt.

I don’t care if it’s Grumpy Cat – a cat that is even more famous than me.

It’s still a cat. My younger person should not be wearing clothes with cats on them.

It’s sacrilegious, it’s terrible, it’s totally awful.

What? That’s what Grumpy Cat said, “It was awful.”?

This is really bad. Now I’m saying the same things as a cat.

I’ve got to get that cat. I’ve got to tear that cat right off my younger person’s chest.

But you know what my younger person did?

He grabbed my nose and I couldn’t do a thing about it. I couldn’t get anywhere near that cat.

I might have to sneak up on my younger person when he’s asleep to get that shirt.

And when I get it, it’s going to disappear. Maybe I could auction it off for treats. Whoever offers me the most treats can have it.

I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if it’s a little chewed up by the time I get it to them.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 5, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Grumpy Cat, Pets

Neighbors

04 Apr

Some strange things have been happening around my house lately. I’m used to strange things happening on my trails, but usually my house is pretty normal.

Well, unless Scratchy starts acting up.

I think he may have been acting up because lately, whenever my person and I go out the front door a bird or two quickly flies away.

This has never happened before – at least not on a regular basis. We have big trees in our yard and the birds that hang out in them are usually not bothered when we leave the house. They’re so much higher than us that they know they’re safe.

That’s why I’m thinking that Scratchy may be working on some kind of trap for those birds. I’d better keep an eye on him when I leave the house. I think he may be trying to sneak out with me, hoping that the birds won’t notice.

Scratchy! You leave those birds alone.

I was ready to give Scratchy what for when my person noticed something. She said we had some new neighbors.

And then she said they might even be planning to raise a family nearby.

I’m not sure what my person is talking about, but I sure hope if they have little ones that they’re puppies. Puppies would play with me. But I hope the little ones aren’t kittens. Scratchy would probably teach them to go after those birds.

What, person? What baby birds? I haven’t seen any baby birds around here.

Oh that? That’s what that is? The birds’ built a nest on our rafter?

I just thought somebody was stuffing their spare straw up there.

26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 4, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Bird, bird nest, nest, Pets, Scratchy

Helping with Handouts

03 Apr

So many good things happened because of Easter that I still have stuff to write about.

My person’s church isn’t big enough to hold all the people that show up on Easter Sunday so they rent a big theater and have Easter service there. My person was in charge of the Easter egg hunt and she wouldn’t let me come.

I was pretty upset about that – all those little kids to give me loves – and maybe some treats too. But we got to do something else that almost made up for it.

My person had some fliers to hand out to let people know about the Easter service. And she decided my trails might be a good place to hand them out.

My trails turned out to be a really good place, because you know what happened? Everyone that got a flier wanted to give me loves. And I got more loves in one day than I usually get all month.

I know Easter only comes around once a year, but there must be something else my person can do that she needs to hand out fliers for.

25 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 3, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Easter, fliers, Pets

Midnight Mischief

02 Apr

Yesterday I had to put off my mischief story because I had so many other things to say. So today I’m going to tell you about the mischief maker – and this time it wasn’t me.

All last week my person was working on a paper mache empty tomb, and for some reason she wouldn’t let me alone in the room with that tomb. She doesn’t seem to trust me or something. Just because I knocked it on the floor and ate the paper mache stuff off of it. I don’t know what the problem is. My person fixed it.

At night she was shutting the door to her bedroom – with me inside – so I couldn’t go out and eat be near that tomb without her knowing about it.

Scratchy wasn’t very happy about this. He likes to come and go as he pleases and he really dislikes being locked inside the bedroom at night.

So one night Scratchy came to the closed door and started making noise like cats do and clawing on the carpet. My person opened the door and when he got up on the bed she shut the door again.

This made Scratchy mad and he wanted right back out. My person let him out since he was making such a ruckus and then she shut the door.

Scratchy didn’t like that either. He wanted that door open. He kept bugging us until my person opened the door again.

He didn’t want to come in, but he wanted to be able to come in.

Of course, this left me with access to that tomb.

But I didn’t want to eat that thing. It tasted terrible the first time.

20 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 2, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cats and Dogs, Easter, mischief, Papier-mâché, Pets, Scratchy, Tomb

Eventful Easter

01 Apr

Today is Monday Mischief and I was going to tell you a great story about somebody else’s mischief – something I had no part in. But then I had such a great walk yesterday afternoon that I just had to share that instead. That mischief story will have to wait.

Yesterday was Easter, and while I was on my trails I found an Easter egg. I didn’t even know I was going on an Easter egg hunt. I was so excited. Somebody left an Easter egg just for me.

But if that’s all that happened all I would have is an Easter egg hunt story and lots of people had those yesterday. But there was more.

I passed three little girls. Cute little girls. And all three of them gave me loves. One of them even got down from her daddy’s shoulders to give me loves. Woo woo!

What, person? You didn’t take any pictures of those little girls giving me loves. How’s anybody going to believe me then? If I have to wait while you take pictures of all those flowers, then you’d better get your camera out and take pictures of me any time I’m getting loves. Even if those loves are from boys.

I guess I’ll have to look for more loves on my next walk. And make sure my person has her camera out and ready.

But there’s more.

I have a neighbor dog who lives on the other side of my backyard fence. Every time we’re outside together he barks at me. He’s a through the fence kind of friend. I wrote about him here. For a long time we’ve always had a fence between us when we meet. Yesterday, we finally got to meet dog to dog. Moe tried to give me what for like he does through the fence but I gave him what for back and then we were even. Moe backed off while my person talked to his person. They hadn’t met before either.

So now that Moe knows who’s top dog around here, I’ll let him be my friend.

Moe, I’ll be out to meet you at the fence again in a little while.

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26 Comments

Posted by Bongo on April 1, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Easter, Easter egg, Egg hunt, loves, Pets, Trail

The Empty Tomb

31 Mar

That is not the same tomb that I ate a few days ago. That one was made of squishy newspaper and chicken wire.

I would never eat a rock. Who do you think I am, anyway?

This is supposed to be the tomb they buried Jesus in? Why would they bury him in a rock?

Yeah, I guess it would be hard to steal him out of a big, rock tomb when a humongous rock covered the entrance.

But who would want to? Why would anyone want to steal a body?

Jesus what? He told people he would be killed and after three days he would rise again?

So the elders, chief priests and scribes wanted to seal Jesus in so his disciples couldn’t steal his body and say he had risen?

But what if Jesus was telling the truth? Wouldn’t He be stuck inside that big rock tomb? What would He do then?

Okay, I’ll listen to the rest of the story.

***

Jesus died on the cross on a Friday, and on Sunday Mary Magdalene and some of the other women who had followed Him went to His tomb. They found the stone rolled back from the door of the tomb.

***

So Jesus snuck out right through the front door.

I am listening.

***

Mary Magdalene ran to tell Peter and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, that they didn’t know where Jesus’ body had been taken. Peter and John ran to the tomb and only found the linen cloths that Jesus had been buried in. So they left and went back to their homes.

***

Does that mean Jesus had to go and knock on their doors?

I’m listening. I just wanted to know.

***

When Peter and John left, Mary stayed behind weeping. She looked into the tomb and saw two angels in there. The angels asked her why she was weeping and Mary said, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.

After she said this, Mary turned around and saw Jesus, but she thought He was the gardener. She said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”

Mary finally realized this was Jesus and was overjoyed.

***

Did Jesus look for a place to hide after that so he wouldn’t be killed again?

Yes, I’m listening.

***

Later, when the disciples were hiding behind locked doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus appeared to them.

***

He went right through the locked door? Does that mean He could have gotten out of that tomb even if the door wasn’t rolled away?

That would make it easy for Him to hide so he wouldn’t be killed again.

***

Jesus won’t be killed again. God raised Him from the dead so that He will have everlasting life. And you can have everlasting life too if you declare Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

***

I’ve just got one question.

Can you make the next empty tomb out of bread please?

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 31, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, Easter, God, Jesus, Lord, Mary Magdalene, Peter, Pets, resurrection

The No Sign

30 Mar

When I take my person through the dry wash on my trails we come to a place that has signs on the trees. That first word on the sign is “No” and I know what that means. I have no idea what the second word means. It’s one of those big words that people use that doesn’t make sense to me.

But I already know that I don’t like that word No. I hear that word too much at home when I’d rather hear Yes. Just once I’d like to hear, “Yes, you can eat the cat food that Scratchy left,” or “Yes, it’s okay to hang out on the couch,” but no, I never hear those things.

Since I don’t like the first word on that sign, the other word is probably bad too. So I’m ignoring it.

But my person says I’m not allowed to go past those signs. She says the other side of those trees is no longer my trails and it’s someone’s private property.

I don’t get it. It looks like my trails to me. There’s a house way up on a hill, but there’s nothing down here.

Don’t those people realize that these are my trails and they’re lucky that I don’t bring all my dog friends and have a party here?

But my person seems to think I should honor those signs. She, of all people should realize that these are my trails.

Since I can’t convince my person and she won’t let me go past those signs, I’ll just handle it another way.

See who gets the last word in now.

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39 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 30, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, No Trespassing, Pets, private property, Trail

Name that Trail

29 Mar

One of my trails that I take my person on a lot doesn’t have a name. That’s because it’s not an official trail.

As far as I’m concerned it’s official, but it’s kind of nice because it’s almost private.

But I’ve been thinking, that trail really needs a name.

My person must have been thinking the same thing because today we found a broken rock on the trail and she thought Broken Rock Trail would be a good name.

She even tried to get me to pose by the rock to make it official.

I’ve got to think of another name quick. Broken Rock sounds so stupid. I mean, somebody accidentally stepped on that rock and broke it and now it’s going to be the name of my trail?

I don’t think so.

I thought and thought – as much as a dog brain can think – and finally I came up with it.

Here it is! The official name for my trail.

Good Sniffs Trail it is.

I bet all the dogs will want to visit it now.

30 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 29, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, Pets, Trail

Flower Power

28 Mar

It’s that time of year again. When my person is the slowest hiker in the world because all she seems to do is take out her camera.

And when I think she’s finished and we can start moving, she takes it out again.

There are some flowers that bloom around here called Indian Paintbrush. They’re pretty hard to miss when you walk by.

I’ve been lucky though. None of them grow on the trails we usually walk on, and I can usually distract my person when we walk by the ones near our trail so she doesn’t notice them.

But you know what those Indian Paintbrushes did?

They smuggled a couple of them right onto my trail and hid them under a Manzanita bush. But even hidden they’re hard to miss because of their bright color.

And my person noticed them.

And then she noticed that those other ones were in bloom. Those ones I told you about that she usually doesn’t notice.

So she had to go off of our trail and get her camera out. And of course she dragged me with her.