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Category Archives: humor

Beginning and the End

My time on my trails was uneventful today. Well, sort of. We didn’t meet anyone on my trails. It’s been hot here so not many people and dogs are going out. But stuff did happen before and after the trails.

My person and I were still in my yard, heading out to the street that goes to my trails. And along came three dogs and a person. It’s the person who knew my name before I met her. She must really like my blog because she’s been bringing her dogs by my house.

But our people won’t let us meet. Those dogs and I keep yanking at our leashes but our people won’t give.

So I headed to my trails disappointed because I didn’t get to play with those dogs, and I didn’t find any of my friends on my trails.

Our walk was over and we were heading into the parking lot when I saw her. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time. My girlfriend Lucy!

But Lucy was stand-offish and didn’t want to play with me. Disappointment on top of disappointment.

Oh no! What if she heard about LeighLa, my other girlfriend? My friend Sweet Kitten warned me about having two girlfriends but I didn’t believe her. I thought it would be okay.

What do I do now? They’re both my favorites. This is serious disaster!

Help! Somebody please give me some advice.

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48 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 7, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Lucy, Pets, Trail

Follow Me Anywhere

06 Jul

One of my favorite things to do on my trails is to go walking in the wash. My person used to follow me in there when I wanted to go.

But now when I try to head down the trail to the wash she holds back and won’t go with me. Just because it’s steep with loose rocks and she slipped on them once.

I tried to help her up when she slipped, but she wouldn’t go for it. She was sitting there in the dirt and I jumped all over her trying to get a good hold so I could help her up.

And you know what she did? She pushed me off of her. What kind of gratitude is that? I’m trying to help her and she pushes me away.

She did get back up on her own and we went the rest of the way down the trail and into the wash. But she won’t go down that trail anymore.

I tricked her though. A little ways past that trail is another trail that goes into the wash. It’s not as steep and doesn’t have as many loose rocks. I guess my person doesn’t notice that we’re still going into the wash because I head that way and she just follows along.

I wonder where else I could get her to follow.

37 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 6, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, Pets, Trail

Party

05 Jul

Somebody is having a party on my trails.

And it’s not me.

I found this can on my trails and it says Party right on it.

What person? I thought you said that word was Party.

I don’t get it. How can it say Party if it doesn’t say Party?

What do you mean there are more than one people languages? That doesn’t make sense. I thought there was just people language and dog language. Oh, and cat language but that doesn’t count.

Whatever that language is, I’m going after those partiers. The nerve of those people, having a party on my trails without inviting me.

Which way did they go? They must be close by. I bet they left when they heard us coming because they didn’t know it was me.

Maybe if I get my party hat they’ll come out.

Hey, check this out. Those partiers didn’t leave at all. They’re right here.

It’s an ant party!

I sure hope they clean up their mess when they’re finished.

39 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 5, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: ants, party, Pets, Trail

Looking for Loves

04 Jul

Look at this! There’s a little bike parked here. And by the looks of it, it belongs to a little girl.

That means a little girl is on my trails. Woo woo! I like getting loves from little girls. Come on person, we’ve got to go find her.

Hurry up, person. Stop dragging your feet. I’ve got to find that little girl. I want my little girl loves.

No, she isn’t here. Maybe she’ll be around the next corner.

Wait a minute! What if she took a different trail? What if I never find her? What if we finish our walk and the little bike is gone and there’s no little girl. That could be a serious disaster.

Come on person. We’ve got to check all the trails. We’ve got to find that little girl before she gets away. She could be around any one of these bends in my trails.

I’m so disappointed. I can’t find that little girl anywhere —oh wait. Here she is! And she’s smiling at me.

I know this little girl. She’s given me loves before.

Little girl loves are the best!

Hey person, can we take this little girl home with us? Maybe we could trade her for Scratchy.

35 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 4, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Trail

Somebody Won!

03 Jul

I won, I won! What? No, wait a minute. Scratchy won.

Hey!

I was reading a blog post from my friend Mr. Cheddar. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I think Mr. Cheddar is one of the best looking cats I know. Oh dog, did I say that? I’m not even supposed to like cats. If anyone knows it will ruin my reputation.

Mr. Cheddar had a contest and I wanted to enter it, but only cats were allowed to enter.

So I entered Scratchy.

I didn’t think anything would come of it. Scratchy’s never won anything so I didn’t figure he’d win this either.

But he did. He won. And now he’s holding it over me.

Scratchy’s getting special treats in the mail and he’s not sharing.

My person says that even if Scratchy did want to share she wouldn’t let him. I’m not supposed to eat cat treats.

No fair!

Scratchy, you’d better enter me into every dog contest you find.

48 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 3, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Cats and Dogs, Cheddar, Pets, Scratchy

Dog Proof No More

02 Jul

My people are going to be so proud of me. I learned a new trick.

I used to only be able to empty the garbage can for them when the lid didn’t go down all the way.

I waited until my people left the house so if I pulled out the wrong thing and they got mad at me I could always blame it on Scratchy. Scratchy’s a cat and cats are always up to no good.

I would pull everything I could out of the garbage can until the lid went flat again. Who wants a garbage lid to be sticking up letting all those good smells get loose? I figure my people are saving those smells for something special.

I kind of like having those special aromas around the house though, and I finally figured out how to do it.

It’s kind of tricky. If I step on this thing near the floor the lid on the garbage can pops up.

But here comes the hard part. I have to keep stepping on that little thing at the same time I’m reaching in to grab the garbage. If I’m not careful the lid comes plop down right on my head.

But it’s all worth it because I usually manage to get some good garbage out, just waiting for me to chew it up and waft in those wonderful aromas. (Did I say that?)

And when my people get home – and they look at me with that stern look – I only have one thing to say.

Scratchy did it!

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

This Blog Hop is brought to you by Alfie’s Blog, Snoopy’s Dog Blog, My Brown Newfies and Luna, A Dog’s Life.

54 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 2, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, garbage, Pets, Scratchy

Depend on God

01 Jul

Check this craft out that my person is doing with her Sunday school kids. Isn’t it cool? I think they should do this craft every week. It’s the best craft ever.

D.O.G. stands for me and it also stands for Depend On God. Hey person, since I’m a dog does that mean I depend on God all the time? If I depend on God will He give me one of those big bones like the dog in the craft has?

I can depend on God for a big bone.

What? I’m supposed to what?

Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be listening to a Bible story now.

They had battles in the Bible? Are they exciting?

Oh, I get it. When people depended on God He helped them win the battles. Did they give their dogs big juicy bones when they won?

Okay, I’ll listen.

King Asa was a king of Judah who depended on God. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and commanded Judah to seek the Lord. They had peace in the land and were able to build up and fortify their cities and towns, and to prosper.

King Asa had an army of three hundred thousand men and they all had large shields and spears.

That sounds pretty scary. I bet no one could beat them.

What happened? Zerah the Cushite marched out against them with an even bigger army and three hundred chariots? Oh no!

Asa must have been pretty brave because he went out to meet that big old army and took up battle positions.

What’s going to happen, person?

I am listening.

Asa called out to the Lord his God and asked for help against that big army. And you know what?

The Lord struck down those mean old Cushites and they ran away. And Asa and his army chased them and got lots of plunder.

What’s plunder? Is that like big, juicy bones?

I’m hungry now, person.

They did what? They attacked the herdsmen’s camps and carried off sheep, goats, and camels.

Wow! I bet they needed lots of shepherd dogs to help bring those sheep back. It’s a good thing they got all those juicy bones.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on July 1, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Bone, Christianity, Cushites, faith, God, King Asa, Pets

Don’t Leave it Behind

30 Jun

Strange things keep showing up in my trail lost and found. Check this thing out. It looks like a giant briefcase. I’m not sure if that’s what it is, but if I find a giant suit and tie a ways up my trails I’ll know that’s what it is.

Maybe a salesman came here, wanting to sell feather dusters to all the people on my trails – after all there is a lot of dust here. But when he got to the trailhead he realized nobody was waiting there for him and he’d have to go hiking to find people.

Or maybe a business man got the directions for his corporate meeting mixed up. He got to the trailhead and had to go looking for the meeting.

It’s a what, person? A sleeping pad? You mean someone’s been sleeping on my trails again? I wonder if the person is related to the one who left their sleeping bag here awhile ago.

Is anyone looking right now?

This’ll teach people not to sleep on my trails.

I don’t want this to come across wrong, but I think this is appropriate. This post is for Trevor, a recently lost friend from Collies of the Meadow.

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39 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 30, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Hiking, Pets, Trail, Trailhead

I’m Famous

29 Jun

I’m really getting famous. People I’ve never met before know who I am. It would be kind of embarrassing if it wasn’t so much fun.

I was walking along my trails with my person and I was a little way ahead or her. We were coming up on an intersecting trail and a lady came jogging toward me.

Suddenly the lady said, “Bongo!” as if I was her long lost friend and started giving me loves.

Woo woo! This is so cool. Loves that I didn’t ask for from someone I’ve never met before.

Hey person, I bet that never happened to you.

What, person? What are you saying?

She knew me why?

No way.

My person says the other day when I ran off took a walk by myself this lady was on my trails with her dogs and my person asked her to keep an eye out for me.

My person says the lady was happy to see that I was found.

Hey person, I was never lost. I knew where I was the whole time.

And I don’t think that was the same lady. I’m sure the one who gave me loves has been reading my blog and recognized me from my pictures.

48 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 29, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Trail, Walking

Strange Thunder

28 Jun

This morning I really thought the thunder season was upon me. It startled me out of my sleep. I woke up because some of the normal sounds in the house stopped. The fan that my younger person runs at night stopped running and he never gets up that time of the morning. The house was silent – except for a few unusual beeps that I don’t hear very often.

Then all of a sudden I heard a loud crack. I was convinced that thunder was on its way – ready to attack me at any minute.

I got up and tried to figure out how I would escape it if it made that sound again. By now it was beginning to smell too. An electrical kind of smell filled the air – way stronger than a regular thunderstorm. I really started getting worried.

Then the normal noises in our house returned – the loud crack didn’t come back – and the electric smell finally faded.

Whew!

My person said the loud crack sounded like a gunshot, but is also the sound a transformer makes sometimes when it blows.

Transformers? Aren’t transformers those robot things that change? Maybe it was a good thing that one of them blew up.

34 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 28, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Power outage, Thunder, Transformer