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Category Archives: humor

Sending Them Off

Jesus Discourses with His Disciples (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What? Jesus is sending His disciples away? You’d think after they were mean to him in his own hometown of Nazareth that He’d want to keep his disciples close by for support.

What do you mean, you want me to listen to a story? Jesus is all alone now. Where’s the story?

What do you mean, Jesus is never alone?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Jesus called his twelve disciples to Him and He gave them power and authority to drive out demons and to cure diseases, and He sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.

***

You mean now the disciples could do all that miracle stuff that Jesus did?

You mean they can get me some fish?

But what would they need Jesus for if they could do it themselves?

They needed His authority? I don’t get it.

I’m listening.

***

Jesus told the disciples to take nothing for the journey – no bag, no bread, no money, and no extra tunic.

***

How are they going to eat? I’m getting hungry thinking about it.

I don’t need that stuff they’re leaving behind because you feed me, but what about them? You’re not going to feed them too, are you?

I am listening.

***

Jesus told the disciples that the worker is worth his keep. When they entered a town or village they were to find a worthy person and stay at his house until they left that place.

***

Now I get it. They would go heal people and preach about God so someone would feed them because they were doing that.

But what happens if they can’t find anyone to do that? Would they be like stray dogs then?

***

Jesus said that if the people didn’t welcome them they were to shake the dust off their feet when they left as a testimony against them.

***

Shake the dust off their feet? Is that kind of like when I kick up dust to cover my business?

15 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 16, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Disciple (Christianity), dogs, faith, God, Jesus, Nazareth, Pets, Religion and Spirituality

No Dogs Allowed

15 Jun

I am so sad. All this week my person has been hanging out at a place called Kingdom Rock.

She says there were castles and treats there, and lots of kids. I don’t know why she wouldn’t take me. I like treats and kids, and I’ve never been in a castle before.

I don’t care if dogs aren’t allowed at Kingdom Rock Vacation Bible School. I’m a dog that tells Bible stories, so there should be an exception made for me.

But here’s the worst part. I found out that there was a horse at Kingdom Rock. A horse named Duke.

So how come horses are allowed to go to Vacation Bible School and dogs aren’t? That’s totally not fair.

I think I’m going to start a protest. Any dog friends want to join me?

But listen to this. Duke not only got to go to Vacation Bible School, he got to go out in the garden.

And if that’s not good enough, somebody took Duke to the pet store to get groomed.

I don’t even get to go get groomed. That’s really not fair.

Oh, wait a minute. I’m not sure I want to get groomed. Do you get treats and loves when you get groomed?

But I don’t think those kids at Vacation Bible School care if Duke is groomed or not. They just care that he’s a horse.

And this is the final straw. Duke got to go somewhere that I’ve never been allowed to go – and hardly any of my dog friends have been allowed there either.

Would somebody please put this horse back in his stall?

Next year they’d better do a Vacation Bible School about me so I can go.

What? Next year’s Vacation Bible School is about weird animals?

Never mind. I guess I won’t be there.

I am not weird.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 15, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Duke, Garden, grocery store, Horse, Kingdom Rock, Pet store, Pets, Vacation Bible School

People Leaving Messages

14 Jun

I’m finding some strange messages on some of the cars parked at my trails.

I think people are trying to imitate us dogs by leaving messages, but they haven’t quite figured out how to do it. I’m not sure they make any sense at all.

Look at this one for instance. “I Brake for Butterflies.”

It would take an awful lot of butterflies flying right into someone at the same time for that someone to break. I mean, those butterflies don’t weigh much and they’re pretty fragile themselves.

I can’t figure out – is this person with this bumper sticker afraid of butterflies? They’re not really scary.

Maybe I should find a butterfly and show this person how friendly butterflies can be. They might realize they wouldn’t break at all.

But here’s an even stranger message.

I’m still trying to figure this one out. Did this person ascend to the top of one of the tall rocks around here? They’re pretty tough to climb, but some people do it.

Or maybe they ascended in one of the hot air balloons that we see.

But some people in Sedona think they can ascend into the atmosphere, or the ozone, or some higher plane somewhere. I think the plane has to take you up there.

I hope those people that ascend in strange ways know how to find their way back down without falling. That might be a rude awakening. You start floating up and away and suddenly you’re falling instead.

Oops.

But I finally found some car messages that make sense.

I think I would really like the people who leave messages like this on their car.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 14, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: bumper stickers, Butterflies, cars, Pets, Trail

Trail Danger

13 Jun

I was heading down my trail and I realized they were everywhere. All over my trails.

I don’t want to get near that nasty plant.

I think somebody put that plant there on purpose – so everybody would stay in the center of the trail and not wander off in the bushes.

Because if you wander off in the bushes you might not come back.

That plant has a reputation for catching its victims and holding on to them.

And never letting them go.

I bet if I wandered far enough into the bushes – if I managed to make it, that is – I’d find skeletons being held by that plant.

Skeletons of animals or people that tried to escape, but couldn’t.

Animals or people that died in the clutches of that plant and are stuck forever.

Yikes! This is scary. I sure hope that plant doesn’t get overgrown onto my trails and try to grab me.

I don’t want to go back home yet, but I sure don’t want to be stuck in the clutches of one of those things.

These plants look innocent enough.

That’s how they fool you into getting too close.

But these plants have a horrible name for a horrible reason.

They’re called Catclaw.

And I have firsthand experience with catclaws. The animal kind.

And these thorns look almost the same.

Yikes! I’ll be walking carefully back home now.

If you don’t see a blog post from me tomorrow, could somebody please come check the bushes on my trails?

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 13, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: catclaw, Catclaw Mimosa, Outdoors, Pets, Photography, Plant, Sedona, Sedona Arizona, thorns, Trail

What a Waste

12 Jun

Something new appeared on my trails today and I don’t get it.

It says it’s a Pet Waste Station, but since when are pets a waste?

I mean, that would be really sad if someone thought their pet was a waste and decided to throw their pet away.

What if that pet thought they were going for a walk on my trails, and then when they got this far their person took them and threw them into that big green box?

Maybe a cat would fit in that box. Or even a little dog.

But what if someone tried to fit a dog as big as me into that box?

That would be a pretty tight fit.

Or what if bunches of people decided their pets were a waste on the same day. It could get pretty squishy in there.

But maybe someone would find a pet already in the box that they liked. That they didn’t think was a waste. Would they take that pet home with them then?

Then that pet wouldn’t be a waste after all – so what was it doing in the pet waste box in the first place?

This whole pet waste thing is totally confusing to me.

Maybe I’d better check this out and see if there are any pets around who think they’re a waste.

I’ll tell them they’re not a waste and let them out of the box. Well, unless they’re cats, that is.

Nope, I don’t see any pets around here.

I guess nobody’s going to use this box after all.

34 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 12, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pet Waste Station, Pets, Trail

I Am Not Weird

11 Jun

I am not weird. What do you mean I’m weird?

What do you mean, I don’t do that? You mean I’m weird if I don’t do what other dogs do?

I bet most of my blogging dog buddies don’t do that either.

What do you mean they don’t do that because they don’t get a chance?

Don’t those things cross everyone’s path – in the summer at least?

They’re constantly flitting around on my trails.

If I chased every one of them that I saw I’d be totally worn out.

And besides you’d be yanking on my leash when you didn’t want to follow me through the bushes.

You think I should have chased those two that ran right under my nose today? Just because other dogs would have done it?

You’d better be glad I am weird then, or I’d be yanking your arm right out of its socket when I took off. They run fast.

Look, there goes one now.

Do you want me to chase it?

I’m not weird. I don’t bother the ones on my trails because I figure that’s where they belong.

But watch out if they come in my yard.

When I find one of those yard lizards…

I’m chasing it up a tree.

33 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 11, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: chase, Leash, Lizard, Pets

Broken Branches

10 Jun

What is going on here? There are broken branches all over the ground.

We haven’t had any storms around here lately. None of that nasty thunder and lightning and not even any rain or hail. Maybe some wind, but not enough to knock all these branches down.

I’d better get my Detective Dog hat on and check this out.

That’s better. Now I can check for clues.

Wait a minute! Look at that tree that’s surrounded by all these loose branches. Somebody has hacked it all up.

I wonder if somebody else brought all these branches here to try and repair the tree.

If that’s what happened they left before they finished.

Now I have even more mysteries.

What to do? What to do?

Guess I’d better look for more clues.

Hey, I think I just saw a hawk fly by.

Maybe the hawk brought all those branches here and it flew away to look for more.

Or maybe little mice brought the branches and the hawk chased them off.

It would probably take a lot of little mice to carry each one of those branches.

I bet that would look pretty cool – seeing all those little mice work together.

Maybe if I hang out here for awhile the hawk won’t come back and the little mice will get brave and come out again.

I think I’ve solved another mystery.

Oh, wait! I’ve got two mysteries. I know that little mice brought the branches, but who hacked that tree up in the first place.

Maybe the little mice know. I think I’ll just wait here and ask them.

27 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 10, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: damaged tree, Detective Dog, hawk, Mice, Pets, Tree

A Prophet in His Hometown

09 Jun

What do you mean, you’re going to tell me a short story? I can stretch out a story for a long time. There’s no such thing as a short Bible story for me.

I’m going to ask lots of questions, so don’t think I’m not listening when you tell me the story.

***

Jesus went to his hometown of Nazareth and his disciples went with him.

***

Was Jesus going to a big family reunion?

Of course I’m listening. I told you I was going to ask lots of questions.

***

When the Sabbath came…

***

What’s the Sabbath? I’ll listen if you tell me.

***

The Sabbath is a day to rest and to worship God. So when the Sabbath came Jesus began to teach in the synagogue and many who heard Him were amazed.

***

I would be amazed if I heard Jesus too.

What do you mean, that’s not a question?

***

The people couldn’t figure out how Jesus got such wisdom and could even perform miracles. After all, they knew Him when he was growing up.

The people said, “Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon? Aren’t His sister’s here with us?” And…

***

It sounds like Jesus was having a big family reunion. He had a big family.

I shouldn’t always have to ask a question. I asked one last time.

***

the people of Nazareth took offense at Jesus.

***

That wasn’t very nice of them.

I am too listening.

***

Jesus said to the people, “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.”

***

That’s why I don’t get any respect around here.

Do you know what those cats did?

***

Jesus couldn’t do any miracles in Nazareth, except lay hands on a few sick people and heal them, because of their lack of faith.

***

So you mean that even Jesus can’t do miracles if the people don’t have faith?

I have faith. I have faith that Jesus can make some fish appear for me.

Wait, you mean that’s the end of the story?

Can I ask another question?

10 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 9, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, Christianity, faith, Jesus, Nazareth, Question, Sabbath, Shabbat

Who Lost a Leash?

08 Jun

I find strange things on my trails fairly often, but today I found one of the strangest. I found a leash, with nobody attached, just hanging around by itself.

Time to get on my Detective Dog hat and start looking for clues.

Hmmm. I’m picking up some scents, but I’m not sure what it all means.

Hey wait a minute. One of the scents on here is mine – from yesterday.

So much for solving this mystery by the smells around here.

What could it all mean?

Somewhere on my trails there is a dog running around without a leash.

And there is also a person on my trails who is not attached to a leash.

This could be really bad.

I’d better go look for that person and that dog. They might be lost from each other.

Maybe I could be a hero and reunite them.

Wait a minute. What’s this?

Another leash?

What is this, National Lose Your Leash Day?

Maybe I can find some clues around this one.

Hmmm. I think this might be some kind of conspiracy.

Somebody might be trying to keep Detective Dog busy so they can pull some heist somewhere else.

They’re not going to succeed though, because I found out something that they don’t know.

This second thing isn’t a leash at all.

It’s a strap with clips on it so people can attach their stuff.

So when those people pull that heist, they’re going to discover that their strap is missing.

And they’ll have no way to carry all the stuff they stole.

I’d better go now and find out where they dropped all that stuff.

Maybe they dropped some treats.

22 Comments

Posted by Bongo on June 8, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Detective Dog, Leash, Pets, Trail

What’s that Smell?

07 Jun

I don’t get it! I just don’t get it.

People are so strange sometimes.

One of the best things on my walks are the great smells I find. I look forward to checking my messages and finding out what my dog buddies are up to.

But my person is so impatient. She’s always yanking on my leash and making me leave a great smell before I’ve finished with it.

I don’t know how many times she’s done that.

It’s so frustrating!

But I put up with it because I’m such a good dog. If my person wants to walk instead of sniff stuff, I can go along with it – as long as I at least get a little sniffing in.

But here’s the funny part.

We walked past this bush.