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Category Archives: humor

Raising the Dead

English: Raising of Lazarus by Jesus

English: Raising of Lazarus by Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wait a minute. I’m confused.

Last week you told me a story about Lazarus. You said he died and went to heaven.

Now you’re trying to tell me that Lazarus is sick?

I didn’t think people got sick in heaven.

Oh. This is a different Lazarus?

I get it. I think.?

***

Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha were good friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, near Jerusalem.

Lazarus was sick, and his sisters sent word to Jesus to tell him.

***

I thought Jesus already knew everything.

I am listening.

***

When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ illness He said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where He was two more days.

***

I bet there was good food where He was.

***

After two days Jesus said to His disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”

***

I guess they ate all the food.

***

Jesus’ disciples were concerned because the Jews tried to stone Him there, so Jesus told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”

The disciples figured Lazarus would be alright if he slept, so Jesus had to tell them plainly. “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

***

Do you think Lazarus ran out of food and starved? Jesus shouldn’t go where there’s no food.

I will listen. I’m just sayin’.

***

Thomas said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

When Jesus arrived Lazarus had been dead four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming she went out to meet Him.

“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

***

I bet Jesus brought some food with him. I’d rise from the dead if there was food.

***

Martha answered Jesus, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she told Him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”

***

Hey, wasn’t Martha the one who made all that food when Jesus was there before?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

Martha left to get her sister Mary. When Mary left the house many Jews who were there to comfort her followed her, thinking she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Jesus wept.

***

I’m starting to get teary eyed too now. Do dogs cry?

***

Then the Jews said about Jesus, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them said, “Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” He said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

***

Martha doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I bet they’ll find a sweet aroma coming out of there.

I am too listening.

***

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that You sent me.”

When He had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

***

I sure hope they gave him some food.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 15, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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Distant Neighbors

Dogs in the distance leaving the trailThere they go again.

It’s them!

My neighbors that I don’t even know.

You’d think I wasn’t very neighborly or something, but it’s not true.

I’d be all over those neighbors if my person would let me.

My person and their person. Neither of them are cooperative.

.

Huskies walking down the street

Oh, how I long to sniff those butts.

Come on, person. They’re not that far ahead of us. We could walk faster and catch up easily.

What do you mean, we’re not going to walk faster? We’re just going to hang back?

What kind of a neighborly neighbor are you?

Come on. Let’s go!

We would not get into a tousle!

You know I’m the perfect dog. I’m sure they’re perfect too.

Three huskies down the street. One of them sniffing something

Look, that one dog is stopping to take a sniff.

I bet he would rather be sniffing me.

I bet he’s waiting for me to catch up.

What do you mean, we already finished our trail walk?

What about my streets? We hardly ever get to walk on my streets.

I sure wish I didn’t have to keep such a close watch on you person.

If I thought I could trust you I’d let you off the leash and go after those dogs myself.

But you might wander in front of a car and get hit.

Guess I’ll have to wait to sniff meet those dogs.

Oh, the things a dog has to go through for his people.

 
27 Comments

Posted by on December 14, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Where’s the Mud Puddle?

Bongo near vehicle covered with mudLook at this!

Here I’ve been struggling to find adventures lately and this vehicle must have been having all kinds of adventures.

I’ve never come off my trails looking like this.

I’ve been wet before – when I go on trails with a swimming hole.

But I’ve never found a mud puddle big enough to bathe me in mud.

I wonder where this vehicle found a mud puddle that big?

Can you imagine!?

I would be swimming in mud if I found the puddle that got this thing so muddy.

I bet that would be fun. Splashing mud all over the place.

I might even get a few drops of it on my people.

They’d look funny with mud all over them.

Their smiles would turn upside down and –

Oh wait. I can already see them grabbing me by the collar and pulling me out of my newly found mud puddle.

Guess I’d better be careful about the splashing part.

But where can this mud puddle be?

Maybe I can get some clues if I sniff around here.

Bongo sniffing near vehicle covered with mud

Hmmm.

I think I might know where these smells came from.

Come on, person. Let go of my leash.

I’ve got to go find that mud puddle.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on December 13, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Poinsettia Day

Bongo wearing a poinsettia hat

Today is Poinsettia Day.

Like my hat?

 
27 Comments

Posted by on December 12, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Cactus or Puddle

Bongo, prickly pear cactus, and a little snowLook at this!

The only snow I could find on my trails today was being hugged by cactus.

I guess the cactus really likes the snow. It wouldn’t let it go.

Actually, I think it loves the snow. You see that heart on the cactus?

I put a heart on my blog yesterday for all of you, but I think this cactus is showing it’s affection for the snow.

.

Or maybe it loves me and the snow.

But my puddle has a different story to tell.

Bongo getting into and icy puddle

My puddle seems to want me to go away.

It grew some armor or something.

It’s all solid and crunchy on top.

But I’m not going to let that stop me.

Bongo in the icy puddle

Yikes! My puddle is cold inside.

I’m going to have to have a talk with my puddle.

Bongo in the icy puddle

Puddle, I think you need to get a heart like that cactus has.

And make sure it’s a warm heart.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on December 11, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Missing Adventures

Bongo climbing onto a rockThis time of year on colder days I have to go to great lengths to find adventure.

There aren’t many people or dogs on my trails and most of my adventures start with people or dogs – or the mysteries they’ve left behind.

So I’ve been searching and searching for some kind of adventure on my trails.

No luck.

Nothing. Nada.

.

I hate to admit it, but I even looked for a bit of color so my person would get her camera out.

Even though I hate waiting for her to take all those pictures– unless there are some good smells in the area, that is.

But there’s not a single flower out this time of year.

Finally, I found something worth posting on my blog.

Not an adventure.

Not even a flower.

Prickly pear cactus shaped like a heart

I give you my heart.

 
29 Comments

Posted by on December 10, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Bongo Keep Away

Bongo keeping his distance in the yardMy person has been full of mischief lately.

Every time she leaves the house she makes me go in dog jail.

Sometimes when she just leaves the room I have to go in dog jail.

Well, I’m catching on to her.

I’ve got her all figured out.

Whenever she lets me out and I didn’t ask to go out, and it’s not bedtime, it means dog jail is coming next.

.

So when she lets me out – I stay out.

There’s no dog jail in the yard.

And she won’t leave me alone in the yard because then I pull more mischief.

I jump the fence and visit the neighbors.

She used to lure me in with treats, but I know better now.

Nope. No dog jail for me.

Bongo running through the garden area

Just try to catch me.

I let her get close, but then…

Bongo squeezing between a yucca plant and the fence

I squeeze past the yucca.

She won’t go this way. These yucca plants are pokey.

Bongo keeping his distance with a frisbee in his mouth

Hey person, I’ve got the Frisbee.

Come and get it!

Bongo running past the yucca the other way

Nope. No dog jail for me today.

Monday Mischief Pet Blog Hop

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

 
29 Comments

Posted by on December 9, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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No Treats for Anybody

"Rich man and poor Lazarus" (1865). ...

“Rich man and poor Lazarus” (1865). Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You mean there are dogs in this Bible story?

Did that man in the last story give them treats?

Oh. He didn’t know them? I thought everyone in the Bible knew each other.

Okay, I’ll listen. I want to hear about the dogs.

***

Jesus said, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day.”

***

Did the rich man hand out treats?

I am listening.

***

“At the rich man’s gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.”

***

That rich man should hand out treats to Lazarus and the dogs.

***

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side.”

***

I bet those angels handed out treats.

I’m listening. I just want to know where the treats are. Those dogs are getting hungry.

***

“The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’”

***

They don’t have treats in hell, do they?

***

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’”

***

Wait! Stop! Don’t give those dogs any treats. I don’t want them to go where that rich man is.

What? I’m not in the story. I don’t have to give up my treats.

***

“The rich man answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

“Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

“’No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

“He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

***

I guess Lazarus won’t be bringing those brothers any treats.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 8, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

 

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The Fry

Bongo looking aroundWait! What?

Yeah, I know my younger person is coming home. He comes home every weekend.

He what!?

He’s not going away again in a couple days?

He’s here for a whole month?

Oh oh – I mean, yay, he’ll be here for a whole month.

Hmm. He yells at me when I try to pull mischief on my person. What to do? What to do?

I’m going to have to get sneakier with my mischief. It’s hard enough now when I keep getting locked up in dog jail.

Now I’ve got to work even harder.

.

First, let’s see.

My younger person always has food around. There’s got to be a way to get some of it.

Bongo looking at food while his younger person looks on

How can I get at that food without him seeing me?

Oh look, he’s going to give me some.Younger person holding up a french fry for Bongo

Want the fry! Want the fry!

Oh please, hurry and give me that.

Can’t you see I’m drooling here?

I can already taste it.

Bongo looking disappointed

I don’t believe it!

He ate it.

 
27 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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Cloud Adventures

Bongo on the trailI headed out on my trails looking for adventure again today.

I was hoping for something better than I had the last time I went looking for adventure.

Last time I got attacked by that dog named Clyde, and even though neither of us got hurt it wasn’t the most fun adventure I’d ever had.

So I thought maybe I’d look for something a little milder this time.

Well, I guess I found it.

Mild, that is.

I didn’t have a single adventure on my trails.

Maybe looking for mild is not such a good thing. Next time I’ll have to pump it up a little.

But wait! I might not have had any adventures, but somebody else was having adventures all over the place.

The clouds were going wild.

Windblown clouds

Sugarloaf rock and windblown clouds

Trees, clouds and sun peeking through

Circle of the sun showing through clouds

Circle of the sun through clouds framed by trees

How’s that for adventure?

 

 
30 Comments

Posted by on December 6, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

 

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