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Category Archives: humor

The Best Smells

Yesterday I told you about a smelly tree that I have to pass on the way to my trails. My person said that tree was probably trying to attract bees, but it wasn’t doing a very good job. I didn’t find a single bee around that tree.

I left the tree and went on to sniff much better things on my trails. Things that have messages attached so I can tell what my dog buddies have been up to.

And while I was sniffing I learned something new.

Bees must be kind of like dogs. They don’t like those smelly trees either.

They seem to like the bushes with the interesting smells too.

Although I stopped smelling this particular bush when I heard the buzzing sound.

This bee was on the busy side, and I didn’t want to disturb him.

Getting on the wrong side of a bee is kind of like getting on the wrong side of a cactus.

I’ll go find another bush to sniff.

25 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 27, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Bee, Pets, smells, sniffing, Trail, Tree

What’s that Smell?

26 Mar

The last few days there’s been a strange smell on the corner of my street. I smell it every time I walk by there to get to my trails.

It’s not like the smell of my favorite rock. I drag my person over to this rock every day when go near it. You see, it’s not quite on our path, but it ‘s worth going out of the way for.

No, this strange smell isn’t anything like my message spots. It’s kind of a girlie smell, but not like any girl I’d want to hang out with.

It smells sort of like perfume, but I sure hope none of my girlfriends wear perfume like that. I prefer a good old strong dog scent to that smell.

My person says the smell is coming from this tree and the tree is probably trying to attract bees.

If bees like the smell of that tree there’s got to be something wrong with them. I mean, who would want to go after that smell?

But maybe those bees are smarter than I thought.

I don’t see any of them hanging around this tree.

They probably found something that smelled much better.

30 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 26, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: bees, blossoms, Fragrance, Perfume, Pets, Photography, Tree

The Tomb is Really Empty Now

25 Mar

Hey person, Scratchy’s getting into the Easter eggs.

What?

I am not.

I am not trying to cover up for what I did.

What did I do?

Oh that. Well, it smelled like food to me.

So I ate it.

It was a what?

You’re making an empty tomb for Easter? The tomb that Jesus left?

Aren’t tombs made out of rocks or something?

Person, if you’d carved that tomb out of rock I wouldn’t have eaten it. So it’s all your fault.

But don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.

Look.

I’m cleaning up the mess I made on the floor.

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

31 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 25, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Easter, Easter egg, Empty tomb, Jesus, mischief, paper mache, Pets, Tomb

Feet and Bread

24 Mar

English: The Last Supper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is the beginning of what week?

Holy week? I haven’t been digging any holes lately.

Maybe it’s all those ant holes that I’ve seen popping up lately.

What do you mean it’s not that kind of holes? What other kind of holes are there?

Okay, I’m listening.

Today is Palm Sunday and I told the story of that last year?

I did?

Oh yeah. That’s when Jesus came riding on a donkey and everybody waved palm branches and shouted Hosanna.

But you said it’s a whole week. Did Jesus ride on a donkey all week?

I am letting you tell the story. I’m just asking questions to get you going.

***

Jesus shared the Passover meal with his disciples later in the week.

***

Food? This story is about food? I’m all ears!

***

In those days the people wore sandals and their feet would get very dirty on the dusty roads, so the lowliest servant would normally wash the feet of those sitting down for a meal. But this time Jesus got up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and began washing the disciple’s feet.

***

Why would Jesus wash their feet? Shouldn’t somebody be washing His feet?

***

That’s what Peter thought and he said to Jesus, “You shall never wash my feet.”

***

That means there’s extra water left in that foot washing bowl. I bet dirty foot water tastes good.

I am listening.

***

Jesus told Peter that unless He washed him, he would have no part with Jesus.

And when Jesus had finished washing the disciple’s feet He told them to do for each other what He had done for them.

***

I’ll lick the disciple’s feet any time. I bet those feet smell really good.

Yes, I’m listening.

***

While they were eating, Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray Him. The disciples didn’t know what He meant and one by one they said, “Surely not I?”

Jesus said, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread to when I have dipped it in the dish.” He dipped the bread and gave it to Judas Iscariot.

As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

Jesus told Judas, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”

Judas left, but the rest of the disciples had no idea what he was doing.

***

I can’t figure Judas out. Why would he leave before they were done eating?

He was going to what? Betray Jesus? But couldn’t he have done that after dinner?

Okay, I’ll listen.

***

While they were eating Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.

And after supper He took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to the disciples, and said, “This is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

***

You aren’t stopping now, are you person? I want to hear the rest of the story.

What do you mean I’d fall asleep if you talked too long?

No I wouldn’t. I’m just waiting for Jesus and the disciples to leave. I want to see if they left any food behind.

19 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 24, 2013 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Christianity, dogs, Holy Week, Jesus, Judas Iscariot, Last Supper, Passover, Peter, Pets, Satan

Followed

23 Mar

Spring weather has hit and my person had her camera out – again.

We saw lots of dogs on my trails and I was the only one who had to take my person on a leash. I guess those other dog people are better trained than my person is, because they seem to stay pretty close to their dogs.

Well, my person kept trying to avoid all those other dogs. I don’t think she trusts me to protect her from them. I don’t know why she thinks that. I’m good at giving those dogs what for.

But we had to go off this way and that way – on trails we hadn’t planned on going on – just to avoid all those other dogs.

Except for the first dog we met. We were walking faster than that dog and his people so one of the dog’s people picked him up while we walked by. Did I mention he was a little dog?

When we headed back I decided to take my person into the wash. We usually have the wash to ourselves, except for the birds. Hardly any people and dogs go there.

A hawk flew by and landed in a tree. We backtracked so my person could try to get close enough to get a good picture. But we never did get close, so you’ll have to search hard for that hawk.

And the reason we didn’t get close was because that first little dog and his people were right behind us. In the wash that hardly anybody goes in. So we turned around and went back the other way.

We left the wash and headed back on the trail, and you know what happened? That little dog left his people and followed us. He probably knows I’m a famous blogging dog and wanted to meet me.

So now I have a new friend. And he smells pretty good too.

Click here for more great pet blogs.

36 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 23, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: dry wash, hawk, Pets, Trail

Life After Dark

22 Mar

My person was acting really strange last night.

She left the house long after it was dark.

Sometimes she doesn’t come home until it’s dark, but she hardly ever leaves after it’s dark.

Come on person, I’ve got your bed all messed up made for you. Where are you going? It’s almost bedtime.

Finally, I heard my person’s car coming into the driveway. But I couldn’t believe what I heard after that.

I heard voices out there in the yard. And it wasn’t just my person talking to herself. There were other voices. Cute girl voices.

And then they came in the house.

My person brought me some new friends – and they gave me loves! Woo woo!

I had a great time playing with my new friends.

I even gave them kisses.

I think they wanted to stay with me forever after that.

I showed them how good I was at catching.

They were impressed.

But this morning they all got into my person’s car and when the car came back only my person was in it.

Why did they leave? Did I do something wrong?

But then I remembered that they said they wanted to take me with them.

Wait for me! Here I come!

I’ll just make sure I’m back home by dinnertime.

25 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 22, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: cute girls, Kiss, Pets, toss, visitors

World Poetry Day

21 Mar

Today is World Poetry Day. It’s a day to appreciate and support poets and poetry. I’m not sure why me – a dog – is telling you this, except my person likes poetry and she told me I had to.

Okay person, I told them. Can I go back to writing about my adventures now?

What? You want me to write a poem?

But I’m just a dog. I don’t write poetry.

I did? I wrote a poem once?

Oh yeah. But that was for a special occasion. That was my Gotcha Day.

Can we go out on my trails now? I want to have more adventures to write about.

You’re not going to let me go on my trails until I write a poem? No fair!

Okay, here goes.

Bongo’s Poem

I’m a ball catching slobbery dog

Who lives with a cat and a frog

I love walks on my trail

and I never will fail

to share all my fun on my blog

Okay person, there it is. Can we go for a walk now? I need some fun to share on my blog.

36 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 21, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, poetry, World Poetry Day

Waking Up

20 Mar

I’m still sleeping off the dog hotel. I didn’t even care when my person stopped on our walk to take pictures of flowers. It gave me a chance to rest.

But I remembered that awhile ago Bumpy Road to Bubba and Little Binky and Angels Whisper invited me to coffee. Maybe that would help me wake up.

Person, what do you mean you don’t have any coffee in the house? How am I going to answer questions about drinking coffee if I don’t have any to drink?

No, I don’t want any tea. This is supposed to be about coffee.

How am I going to wake up without coffee?

This isn’t going anywhere. My person is so uncooperative sometimes.

But I just remembered that a few days ago Little Binky sent me some more questions. And I don’t even have to have coffee to answer them. So here goes:

What do you prefer, water or milk? I drink lots and lots of water. It gives me excuses to go outside more often.
Do you like rain or snow? I love playing in snow and going for walks in snow. We just haven’t had very much of it here lately. But I can’t complain. Sunshine is good too.
Do you believe in Furry-land? I’m not sure what that is. Is it anything like Candy Land? Anywhere that you get lots of treats is good.
Do you believe in Angels? My person says angels are real, but I’m still looking for one. Sometimes I see fairies on my trails though.
What do you do if you find a lot of money? No one seems to drop lots of money on my trails, but if I found a lot I would turn it in for treats.
When are you the most active and when are you the most laziest inactive? I get really active when someone comes to visit or I’m doing something out of the ordinary. I’m most inactive after I’ve been at the dog hotel – like right now. Sleep is good.
What would you do if you had to take care of your own dinner? I would steal Scratchy’s cat food.
Where would you fly to if you had wings? When my people try to sneak away and do things without me I would fly to wherever they are. They wouldn’t be able to have fun without me anymore.
How do you show your affection? By bringing balls full of slobber to my people so they can toss them for me.
What color is your favorite? That would have to be black and white. The color of me.
What smell is your favorite? Anything good to eat and the messages that other dogs leave for me on my trails.

This answering question stuff is taking a lot out of me. I think I’ll go back to sleep now.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 20, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Bubba, Coffee, Little Binky, Pets, questions

Haphazardly Tagged

19 Mar

Finally! I’m out of the dog hotel, and now all I want to do is sleep. I’ve got to take a vacation from my vacation.

I’m so tired I don’t know if I’m going to have any adventures this week. I saw my girlfriend Lucy on my trails today and I didn’t even have the energy to play with her. And then she walked right past me and hardly gave me the time of day. I felt so rejected.

But my person woke me up long enough to remind me that I’ve been tagged and given awards and I need to catch up on those. That takes less energy than having adventures, so here goes.

I was tagged in the Haphazard Hop by one of my person’s friends who has a blog called Stealing Faith. She has a great sense of humor, so stop by and see what she has to say.

The rules are simple – If you’re the reader you must click on through and see the Haphazard answers of the tagged bloggers – after all, it’s likely if you like my blog you’ll like the blogs of these new friends! If you’re the tagged blogger, your instructions are below!

Here are your Haphazard Questions!

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I like them open because if there’s a thunder storm I can get in the closet without breaking down the door first.

2. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? Big Dog of the house.

3. What’s the worst/most embarrassing CD/album you’ve ever owned and do you still have it? Who Let the Dogs Out? Those dogs should have been sneakier so nobody knew they were out. I didn’t really own it but I think my younger person did.

4. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a Big Dog that could run free without getting lost. I got the run free part, but not the no getting lost part. That’s why I was in dog jail when my people gave me my forever home.

5. When was the last time you cried from laughter, and why? I have trouble with that crying thing – and that laughing thing – so I hope I can make people do that sometimes when they read my blog.

6. Do you like to use Post-It© notes? My person has them all over the counter when she’s figuring out what pictures to add to my blog posts.

7. Do you practice your smile for pictures? I’m a natural. No need to practice.

8. Do you sleep with your sheets out or tucked in? Am I supposed to have sheets on my bed? I think I’m missing out on something here.

9. What is the most bizarre item of food you’ve ever eaten? A shoe. I didn’t really eat a real shoe. It was a dog treat shaped like a shoe.

10. Do you chew on your pen/pencil? Pens and pencils are too short. Sticks are good to chew on though.

11. What’s your least favorite movie? Any movie where the dog behaves better than I do. Then my people expect the same out of me.

12. Where would you bury a hidden treasure if you had it? In my backyard, of course.

13. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I would do it all the time but my person won’t let me get into her paints.

14. What was the first concert you attended? For some reason my person will never let me go, but I hear the coyotes howling in concert all the time.

15. Have you ever won a spelling bee? I can spell bee. Oh wait, maybe it’s spelled be. Now I’m confused.

16. Do you hold your nose when you jump into a swimming pool? No way. How am I going to fetch the stick if I’m holding my nose?

17. Are you patient? When am I going to be done answering all these questions?

18. What is the type and model of the first phone you ever had? I’m not allowed to chew up phones.

19. Favorite celebrity? That would have to be Marley. He’s my mentor for mischief.

20. Who is your favorite American president? Why? Whichever one had the best dogs in the White House.

21. What would you do with a $1 million lottery winning? I’d buy lots of treats and then I’d use the rest to help homeless dogs in shelters.

22. Do you believe in ghosts? I definitely believe in Ghost Dog. I see him on my trails sometimes.

23. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I’m always forgiving my people, but if someone isn’t nice to me I’m afraid they might be mean again so I don’t forget. Oh I forgot – everyone’s nice to me.

24. Education or wealth – which is better to have? If I was wealthy I could get lots of treats and loves. But I might need some more Detective Dog education. I still have some mysteries I haven’t solved.

25. One thing most people don’t know about you. I’m an open book. You know everything about me. Well, except maybe for the closet door I messed up in the last thunderstorm. Or did Scratchy do that?

Next Up On the Haphazard Hop:

Angels Whisper (and Little Binky)
Bumpy Road to Bubba
Cupcake
Diane’s Kitchen Table (and Lola)
YOU! Answer the questions on your blog, tell us about it in the comments, and link back to this blog!

Tagged bloggers, here’s the deal: Answer the questions with a blog post published within a week – don’t over think the answers, write the first thing that comes to mind; link back to the blog that nominated you for the Haphazard Hop; and nominate at least three more bloggers for the Haphazard Hop.

Hey, this was kind of fun.

27 Comments

Posted by Bongo on March 19, 2013 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Haphazard Hop, Pets, Tagged

Trail Trip Without Me

18 Mar

Do you know what my people did? You won’t believe it. I can’t believe it because what they did is really terrible.

While I was stuck at the dog hotel you know what they did? They went out looking for new trails.

Without me.

How could they do that?

I mean, I love trails. And I love adventure. And how can you find more adventure than on a new trail?

And they didn’t take me.

And look at all the things they found.

I’ve never seen cactus like this on my trails. It’s towering over my younger person. Look how small he looks. It makes me feel bigger just to look at that picture.

I can be Big Dog now. My younger person doesn’t look so big after all.

Hey wait a minute. Now wait just a minute.

You found a lake on that new trail and you didn’t take me swimming?

This is totally not fair at all. I’m going on strike.

No walks for my people until they take me to that lake.

What, person? There is what on that new trail you found?

Attack cactus?

If you get too close that cactus jumps off and sticks to you?

That sounds like a secret weapon to me. If some bad guy comes I could convince him I want to take his picture next to that cactus. And then whap, whap! That cactus jumps off and attacks him. And I’ve got it all on film.

I sure wouldn’t want to kiss him after that.

What do you mean, that’s not very nice. I’d only do it to a bad guy.

You think I would get tangled up in that cactus?

I would never go near that attack cactus. I’m the perfectly behaved dog. I always do what you say.

Fine then. I wouldn’t want to go on that new trail anyway. Giant cactus and attack cactus and a lake that’s so far down the hill that I’d have to take a flying leap into it.

I’m all worn out from the dog hotel anyway. I had fun that you don’t know anything about.

Don’t even think about trying to take me on that new trail. I’ll be busy. Taking a nap.